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Benji Sommer-Passos ([info]lockupyourgirls) wrote in [info]blueridgeau,
"Kid, I always look sharp as fuck," Benji assured him with a sniffle, mimicking his motion as she tried to weakly wipe her eyes using her arm and sleeve of her jacket. She shook her own head as Izzy told her not to apologize. "No, I gotta," she told him, inhaling deeply and trying to center herself. "It's 'bout the only way to make it better.. 'cos I sure as hell feels responsible. Think I'm always gonna be," she breathed, her hand still rummaging through her hair in frustration. "Your ma ain't lyin.. I didn't pull no blade on her, but I did this."

She could still remember the night they had gone out, she had been waiting in this very room while Kia got ready. She walked over to an armchair that was set near Izzy's television, flopping down into it and pulling her knees up. "Remember I asked you to go?" she murmured, wishing once she said it that she had never brought it up. Neither of them could have known, or realized, how much of a different his being there could have made. "We could have took them. All three of us, I mean. Keys was a regular scrapper," Benji went on weakly, her eyes filling with tears again. It was what had gotten her girlfriend killed in the end. Benji had brought her there, but if she wasn't trying to clean up Benji's mess, if she had just stayed still and let them beat on Benji instead, she could still be with them, but she had to get right in the middle. That was Kia's style.

Ben was glad that Iz didn't blame her, but she still blamed herself. "I got nowhere left to go," she added hoarsely, clearing her throat a bit and resting her face against her pulled up knees. "I put.. Tay in a real awkward spot, when I'm around. I just gotta stay away. And I'd rather eat a bowl of broken glass than go stay with Maxie and the Flanders in Maine," she sighed, automatically using her mother's favorite nickname for the Donnelly grandparents. "I'm stuck with my folks for a while. Nowhere else to go."


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