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"Maybe I won't totally fuck it up," Ruby relented weakly. Mars did know things, and she trusted in her judgement just as much as Emma did. But she was older and smarter than them, and seemingly much more clever. Mars could get out of anything, which was one fact that made her feel the tiniest bit better about tonight, but not much. This was a big something, bigger than usual. She wouldn't be there to help them at all from where she was going, for however long, and it was a lot for Ruby to take on.

It was beginning to really set in that overnight she was about to be going to go from small-time drug dealer to running the entire operation. They weren't the biggest gang around, but they did good for themselves, and they were all tough girls. She had to believe that they would support her and Emma now that Marney was gone. It was sort of strange to consider herself an heir to anything, but she supposed that she had been all along. She let herself scoot closer to Emma as the blonde tightened her arms around her. "Take care of the gang, take care of each other," she agreed quietly.

Ruby scrunched up her face a little as Emma kissed her cheeks, and she rolled her eyes, taking the joint back and inhaling sharply. "You're an asshole, it's all my fault, everything.. but we'll keep that a secret, okay? If you don't think we should tell mom and dad, then.. just let everybody think what they want to think, I guess," she sighed. Ruby tucked her head under Emma's chin for a second, pressing her cheek against her neck. "We'll make Mars proud.. starting tomorrow, I swear I will. It's all my fault but I'm-- I'm gonna make good on it. On everything, I really am."

Letting Emma lift her head up a little, Ruby looked seriously at her, searching the other girl's eyes for some sign that she was being untrue. There was nothing there though, except for the same honest Emma that she had always known. In all of the time that she knew her, she didn't think Emma had ever lied to her or led her on, though they both did plenty of it to other people. With each other was different. "Okay, me either," she agreed softly, accepting her declaration. She grabbed her friend's hand, squeezing her pinkie finger with her own. She only hesitated for a moment when the blonde told her that she loved her, and she found herself searching the blonde's face all over again, but once again she seemed true.

"I love you too," Ruby replied just a little hesitantly, lifting her head a little more to look closer at Emma. It wasn't the first time that they had ever said they loved each other, they had known each other practically their whole lives, and she had been living with the Thompsons since she was only six. They were always close, she would do anything for emma. They were practically family, definitely best friends, but Emma's words seemed deeper this time, more loaded. It made Ruby's chest feel fluttery, but it eased some of the anxiety and upset she was feeling as well. It made her feel good, genuinely loved, as more than just best friends. Like Emma truly loved her, wanted her, cared about her. Something Rob had never done. She suddenly hated herself for ever getting involved with him, for ever bringing him into their lives.

She felt herself tearing up, and she tried to fight it still, but there was no use. She hadn't cried since the funeral for her mother and father, and even that had been more reflex than reaction. They hadn't been the best parents, she hadn't known them long, and they were barely around. But crying for them had seemed like the right thing to do. Even when she had broken her arm when they were growing up, or when she had needed stitches, she hadn't cried. But there was no stopping the tears now, she simply felt awful. That she had ever looked past everything she had already. Everything she needed was already right in front of her, Emma had been there all along, and she would never leave her or hurt her. They were young, but it felt right, it had always felt right. She let one sob bubble out, Ruby buried her face into Emma's shoulder, grabbing a fistful of her shirt. "I l-love you so much, why couldn't it have been you? It s-should have been you, I just want y-you and I fucked up and now Mars is gone! I'm always such a fuck up!"