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Tatum Donnelly ([info]ojandtostitos) wrote in [info]blueridgeau,
@ 2012-08-18 16:57:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Characters: Michi & Tatum.
Setting: Michi's room, very early March of 2012.
Content: SFW.
Summary: Tatum telling Michi what's actually been going down.

Tatum had kept her mouth shut ever since her run in with Mack a few weeks, except for going to and see Doctor Lisi after classes the day after. It wasn't an easy thing to tell anyone, but he was a doctor, and since she was over seventeen there wasn't any reason to tell her parents about what went on. Telling them was something she was still considering, time was definitely a factor because she could only hide it for so long, but she was still early on. She had a bit more time to worry about telling them. Mack's reaction had been awful and what had happened between them had been awful, and she hadn't told a soul about it or about the baby. She had been keeping it cooped up inside, but Lisi had been a necessity.

She couldn't smoke joints anymore, couldn't do much of anything, and she was feeling miserable now that Lisi was helping her to switch her prescriptions. Switching dosages and types, it was taking a toll on her, and keeping her mood in check was a challenge in itself. She had always been pretty stable on her medications, she had things under control, but now everything was different. Many types of mood stabilizers and anti-psychotics weren't exactly meant to be given to babies or pregnant women, and changing her medicine around had been necessary, but she was still adjusting. On top of that, there was keeping everything a secret, and that was hardest of all. She knew she was snapping at everyone, but she couldn't very well help it.

Sleeping a lot was becoming a problem, half because she was exhausted and half because she had just plain been feeling depressed about everything. She knew she wasn't exactly being the best, to Sam or Michi, and she still had both of them in the dark for the time being. She had been scared that Mack would tell them, to try to fuck her over, but it hadn't happened yet. She still couldn't shake how disgusted with her the blonde had looked, and she had to keep reminding herself that she was nothing like the girl she had grown up with, Mack's opinion meant nothing now, and their every interaction was nothing but toxic. But it kept nagging at her. Who else was going to be disgusted? Time was running out to tell everyone, not just her folks and her siblings, but everyone. She was only a tiny girl, and with someone of her size she would be showing before long. It was only lucky that so many of her clothes were baggy as it was, because she was pretty sure that she could see just a hint of a belly starting to form. It was all downhill from there.

Her plan all along had been that once she felt she was ready, she would tell Sam, and then Michi next, and her parents after that. She planned to tell them all before her birthday on the fifteenth. Each encounter would go as it would, she couldn't do much to change how any of them would feel when they found out, but she was hoping for the best. Sam, she figured, might actually be the most accepting of the news. But she had to wonder how breaking up with him would taint that acceptance. She knew it was necessary, she loved her best friend but she wasn't in love with him, and if this didn't prove that what she was doing was all wrong, she didn't know what did. She wanted the baby, would do anything to make sure things went well even though she felt like crap all of the time lately, but it had still been a mistake. She would never cut Sam out, but she couldn't be with him.

Which led her next to Michi, her next hurdle. How was she supposed to tell her what was going on? She had been snapping at the other girl loads more than usual lately, and the tension was high. Even just now, Tatum found herself sulking in bed, after they had been screaming at each other just a couple of hours before. It was hard not to get worked up, to end up going over the deep end and she regretted it but it didn't stop her. She wanted to apologize, but that meant she'd have to explain. She laid there sullenly, her face buried against her pillow, wondering if maybe it wasn't best to tell Michi first after all.

Even though they were fighting lately, and even though she couldn't stop thinking about all of the things that Mack had said to her, Tatum wanted Michi. If she was supporting her, then she knew she could do everything else, tell everyone else. Even if Sam ended up hating her for breaking up with him or something, then if she still had Michi, she could make it through. She didn't know what she was going to do if the other girl decided that she wanted nothing to do with her, which was a possibility that weighed heavily on Tatum's mind. Not everyone was ready to sign on for a baby, particularly a baby that wasn't anything to them.

Unless she decided to make it something to her, and Tatum hoped she would. She wanted her to, wanted them to be a family, like she had never been able to have at home. Her parents would be angry with her, she was sure of it, but some part of her begged her to believe that they couldn't hate her. If Michi wanted to help her, then her parents would just have to accept that, and let her be happy for once. But telling Michi was the current problem, and the redhead was still feeling put out from their earlier argument, and that was influencing her more than just a little. It had only been over something stupid at first, but it had snowballed, as often happened.

If she wasn't so stubborn, she knew that she could just be over at Roanoke with her right now, instead of just laying in her own bedroom alone. It was just after dark, but she knew her girlfriend would still be awake, if she hadn't gotten pissed and gone out somewhere with Hunter and Charlie already. Running back to their friends had always been either default reactions, Hunter was always ready to get Michi piss loaded at the drop of a hat, and Tatum usually went to Sam. But she felt less like doing that lately, and she usually ended up alone, just like this. Pushing herself out of bed, she mustered up the energy to get changed, and head out into the commons, crossing them in practically a jog as she made her way from Shawnee, trying to ignore the need to stop and having a joint that still nagged her daily. Smoking on the commons had been one of her favorite activities, and she knew that both Sam and Michi had noticed her lack of smoking lately. She had been telling them both simply that she was quitting, it was too expensive.

With weed still on her brain, she ducked inside of Roanoke, glad to find that the common area was pretty empty as she passed through and proceeded to Michi's room. She didn't bother to knock, shoving the door open as soon as she found that it wasn't locked, and almost slamming it behind her. She only took a quick inventory of the room, and as soon as she saw Michi was home and her roommate wasn't, she felt herself getting worked up and getting ready to go off.

"Listen, I'm sick and tired of just this.. shit, with you jumping down my throat for every little thing!" she told her, brandishing her index finger at her girlfriend as she leaned back onto the door. "We didn't used to be like this and I don't wanna be like this now!"

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2012-08-18 06:01 pm UTC (link)
So what if she was already a little tipsy? She was in a shitty mood. Things with Tatum were not going well at all lately and she was sure the other girl was slipping. She kept thinking that maybe Tatum was trying to push her away. And in Michi's mind there was only one thing to do when she was upset like that; get fucked up and cause trouble. She had changed and was getting ready to go find Hunter and Charlie to just forget about things for a while when the door was flung open.

Michi's eye narrowed and she stood up, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. "Anything the fuck else wrong T?" she barked. "Cause you jumping down my fuckin' throat is pretty helpful!"

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2012-08-18 06:13 pm UTC (link)
"I'm jumping down your throat?!" Tatum shot back, thumping her chest a little with an open palm to exaggerate her point. "You think it's me? You're just-- you don't understand, and you don't even try! You don't even know what I'm going through!" she snapped, her own arms crossing over her chest as she stood off from the taller girl, glaring over at her.

It hadn't been her intention to come at Michi like that, but it just came pouring out, and now they were right back where they had been when they were fighting earlier. "You smell like an old boot full of rum," she muttered. "Going to see Hunter? Like as usual, just run away?"

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2012-08-18 06:18 pm UTC (link)
"Yer always jumping down my fuckin' throat Tatum! Like I'm the one who's doing something wrong," the moment she said it she regretted it. She could feel a lump in her throat.

She bristled when Tatum said she was running away. "You treat me like I'm some shameful thing that just needs to be pushed under the bed. I aint the one who's runnin' away! What the fuck are you gonna do? Go and see yer fuckin' boyfriend? You can pretend all you want T but you know the god damn truth."

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2012-08-18 06:25 pm UTC (link)
She stiffened at Michi's words, but tried her best not to let it show just how irritated she was getting. It was showing through though, as she stepped a little closer and pointed her finger right at the other girl again. "I am not ashamed of you!" she growled. "If I wanted to.. be over there with him, why wouldn't I be? Why would I be giving myself a headache puttin' up with you?"

Tatum turned on her heel, covering her face with her hand for a moment before dragging it through her hair in frustration, sighing loudly. "What do you know about the truth? You don't know shit, you don't know-- well, you just don't know the half of it. And I love you and I want to tell you and I wish you'd just fuckin' help me!"

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2012-08-18 06:35 pm UTC (link)
It hurt to see Tatum so upset and she hated to say the things she said. She had been patient with Tatum about coming out and she didn't want to be that person, she didn't want to push her into anything. "Maybe you're a masochist," Michi grumbled defensively, taking a step back and leaning against her desk.

She stared at her own sneakers, disgusted with herself. She knew this was hard on her girlfriend but Tatum had been taking a lot out of her lately and Michi didn't know why. "Well maybe if you just fuckin' came out with it instead of hollerin' like a bunch of assholes..." her heart was hammering hard in her chest despite all appearances.

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2012-08-18 10:45 pm UTC (link)
"Must be if I'm putting up with this," Tatum grunted back, her arms tightening around herself, looking as stand-offish as ever. She just had such a hard time putting her temper back into place once she went off, it was hard not to go extremes in either direction. One minute she was hopping mad, and then she could be bawling her eyes out ten minutes later, but the only thing that didn't change was how unstable it all made her feel.

She was looking away, but she turned her head back to Michi as she spoke, and she watched the other girl closely as she stared at her shoes. "You wanna know?" she asked, clicking her tongue and fixing Michi with a cold glare. "You're just gonna blame me anyway.."

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2012-08-18 10:49 pm UTC (link)
Michi grumbled incoherently until Tatum spoke up. She looked up at Tatum with a hard expression and tilted her chin up. "Go on then," she challenged her. "Let's see what the fuck happens when you're honest." She was readying herself for the worst. What if Tatum didn't want her? What if she was about to drop a bomb that the whole damn thing was a sham... that she didn't really love her?

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2012-08-19 10:27 pm UTC (link)
"I am always honest with you! How the fuck can you say that to me?" Tatum roared back, throwing her hands up in the air. It might not have been a hundred percent true, but other than the baby, there wasn't much that she had ever kept from Michi. The other girl had a knack for knocking down her walls that Tatum had only experienced with one other person. And she didn't entertain having that sort of relationship with Mack anymore, Michi was it for her. She spent her life lying to herself and her family, even Sam, and Michi was one of the few she had actually tried to be honest with.

"This is the only thing.. this is the only thing, the only thing, and you don't even realize how hard this is," she murmured back, lowering her voice and trying to calm down. "You want me to be honest? Well, I honestly fucked up."

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2012-08-20 11:54 am UTC (link)
"You're honest with me by telling me that you have a boyfriend but yer lyin' about us to everyone else. You wanna talk about how hard something is? Everyone, every day, all the time; all they see is you and him together. I aint even in the picture. Fuckin' hurts," she said throwing her arms out to the side. "I know yer still figurin' this whole damn thing out but I aint... I can't do this! I can't be a fuckin' punchin' bag anymore! You..." she big her lip, looking at Tatum shakily. "Yer it for me," she said more quietly. "But I feel like a dirty little secret."

She stared at her sneakers. "So you fucked up huh? Let's hear it then. Just fuckin' tell me so we can get this fuckin' mess of a fight over with."

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2012-08-20 12:14 pm UTC (link)
"I have to! You don't get it, you've never get it!" Tatum snapped back, though Michi's words stung her, she was too worked up to react anything but violently. "You already lost your parents, I don't want to lose mine," she muttered, knowing it was a low blow and regretting it immediately. She knew, in her heart, she might lose them by the end of all of this anyway. What did gay being matter in the scheme of this mess? It was the least of her worries.

"Well, I can't do this either," she shot back, her own voice shaking. She swallowed thickly, figuring there was no point in dancing around the subject any longer. "I think I'm knocked up.. like, ninety-nine percent sure."

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2012-08-20 12:24 pm UTC (link)
"I haven't got any parents so what do my feelings matter anyway? Is that how it is? You're all I got and this is how you treat me?"

She was about to rage on when Tatum dropped the pregnancy bomb. Michi stared at her dumbly, her hands hung uselessly at her sides. She knew she should have been comforting her or telling her that everything was going to be okay but pregnant. That meant she slept with Sam, confirming one of Michi's fears. "Wh... wha... what the fuck is this? Some kind of fuckin' sick joke to you?" as soon as the words were out she knew they were the wrong ones.

Her fists clenched together tightly at her sides. "I trusted you Tatum," she said breathlessly. "I trusted that you wouldn't fuck me over like this! What the fuck were you thinking?! This is... this is fucked! This is fuckin' bullshit! How the fuck could you do that?!" It was all wrong but she couldn't stop herself. The whole world was spinning too quickly and she wasn't grasping on to anything.

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2012-08-30 11:47 am UTC (link)
"You just don't understand!" Tatum burst out, practically screaming at the other girl. "You gave your family up, but I'm not sure that I can," she added moodily. Her parents had done an exceptional job of stuffing all three of their children into little societal boxes that they felt their kids should fit into, and so far only Sera had broken the mold. Tatum knew she wanted to break free, but it wasn't that simple. She didn't have Michi's bravery or Sera's attitude, how was she supposed to tell her parents that she couldn't live their lie anymore? Literally couldn't, not once she would begin to show. "My dad will probably send me away to like.. reform camp for unwed teenage mothers or something. He's gonna kill me."

Michiko's reaction to the pregnancy was basically what Tatum expected. She could read the betrayal loud and clear on her girlfriend's face, and her heart felt tight and painful at the sight of it. Her intention in all of this had never been to cause harm, but all double lives fell apart at some point. Mostly, the redhead felt cornered, guilty and responsible, and it was making her defensive. "Do I look like I'm joking?!" she snapped back, racking her fingers through her hair in frustration. "Would you like me to piss on another stick for you, because I've already done it five times today, thanks!"

She found getting worked up was easier than apologizing, even if apologizing was the right thing to do then. Doing the right thing wasn't always easy, which she knew. "Well clearly I wasn't thinking! I was just doing what you said, right? Leave me alone and go fuck your stupid boyfriend, sound familiar? Maybe you should think before you.. fucking speak or something, jesus!" Tatum retorted loudly instead, waving her arms a little in the air. It probably didn't help that she had been more than a little fucked up already that night, or that she had just gotten more fucked up with Sam when she got there. Working for Emma and Ruby had benefits, and they smoked well. One thing had led to another and then it was all downhill. She hadn't even enjoyed it, really, through no fault of his. He had been plenty enthusiastic, but he wasn't Michi, and that was who she had wanted that night. It was who she always wanted after their had a big fight with each other.

"You're one to talk, right? I'm supposed to trust you, like.. running around every night with Hunter and Charlie, doing whatever you damn well want, because you don't have a girlfriend, right? Not really, anyway. Like, I made a mistake but you just.. you probably fucked my sister or something! Or that dumb girl with Charlie! You're always out and mad at me for shit I can't help and.. flirting with stupid girls at parties in front of me when I'm with him and you know I can't do anything and it fucking kills me!"

Tatum turned her back toward Michi, covering her face. "Why did I even tell you?"

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2012-08-31 11:56 pm UTC (link)
"I didn't! I didn't walk away from them or give them up!" Michi's voice broke. "They didn't want me, they never wanted me so I just walked away because I was sick of killing myself for people who wouldn't love me either way," she felt her cheeks wet with tears.

Her fists clenched tightly at her sides and her teeth clenched. "I don't fuckin' get it T!" She felt herself getting angrier by the minute. "Don't you dare try to blame this on me! I aint the one fuckin' god damn Sam!"

Michi punched the wall hard, almost sending it straight through. She thought she felt a knuckle or two break when she made contact. "Gotta keep up appearances right?" she hollered right back. "You gotta make everyone think you're straight but if I stopped flirting at parties everyone would know something was up and god forbid the world know that I fucking love you Tatum," she punched the wall again, smearing blood against the white paint.

"Maybe I did flirt with stupid girls at parties but I never fucked a single one of them and I would never fuck your stripper sister or Charlie's blonde! I fuckin... I know what's right and wrong T!"

"And you told me cause something in your fuckin' head finally clicked and said that I deserved the god damn fuckin' truth," she raked her hands through her hair and turned away from Tatum, a painful look at her face. She finally broke and started crying, facing away from the other girl. Her stomach felt like it was full of lead.

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2012-09-01 12:12 am UTC (link)
This was all wrong, it wasn't how this was supposed to be, and she felt ten times worse now than she felt earlier. Everything was spiraling out of control, and even when she knew she should back down, she couldn't back down. "Well maybe I'm not strong enough to walk away!" Tatum replied bitterly, biting hard on her lower lip. "I wouldn't have fucked anyone if you didn't tell me to! Don't run your mouth and say stupid things, acting like you.. don't even fucking care! Obviously you do, if you're acting like a damn fool now!"

She knew that she was only making things worse, that she should shut up, and she was only silenced when Michi's fist connected with the wall. She flinched immediately, half turning to stare back at the other girl, shying away from her a little as she raised her voice. "You're a fucking asshole, you know that? I hope you fucking do!" she shouted back, once she found her backbone again. Being yelled at only riled her up more, once she got over the initial shock of her girlfriend's reaction. Her words stung, and the redhead tried not to let it show on her face, but it was apparent.

"I love you too, don't you see that? Fuck!"

Her eyes were fixed on the blood smudged against the wall, and she swallowed thickly, turning her back to Michi quickly as she started to cry. It was the worst sound possible. "I should go," she suggested lamely, the fight gone from her voice.

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2012-09-01 12:21 am UTC (link)
Michi hated herself for the way things were spiraling away from her control. Fights with Tatum were always bad but it was partly because they were so crazy about each other and partly because they really had needed to keep it secret. "Well maybe you should take all this fuckin' pent up rage and aim it at someone who fuckin' deserves it!"

She swallowed hard at the look Tatum had given her. "I figured you knew the difference between me being serious and me being pissed the fuck off! You were with him nearly as long as you were with me. You can't tell me that you didn't fuckin' know how much that hurt, how much it still hurts," she said, her voice shaking.

Michi wrapped her arms around herself tightly, trying not to sob. "If that's what you want," she managed to mumble.

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2012-09-01 08:25 am UTC (link)
There were only a few people that she could be justifiably angry with, and she was on the top of her own list. But she couldn't take it out on herself like she normally did, she couldn't go and get high or go skateboarding with the guys like she normally did when she fought with Michi. She could usually storm out, and just go out and act a fool, do whatever it took to take herself out of her shit mood. But that wasn't an option anymore with a baby, no matter how early along it was. Tatum knew staying and trying to fix this was the right thing to do, but running away sounded so much easier. "You want me to aim it at myself then? Because I know it's all my fault, as usual," she muttered grimly finally, tightening her arms wrapped around herself.

Michi's bitter words were true, and they made her feel worse because Tatum knew that shr damn well knew the difference. She had gone to Sam out of spite, just to be vindictive and to piss Michi off for whatever they had argued about that night. The baby was just an unexpected curve ball in the whole mess, but she should have expected it with her luck. She had done it to hurt the other girl in the heat of the moment, and she felt terrible about it but she still couldn't turn to look at her girlfriend. "Yeah, well.. exactly. He's my boyfriend too, you knew that, you knew wgat the situation was when I started this! How long can I play the good catholic virgin, Mich, honestly? He was with me just as long, that's a long time to go with handys, you know! Most girls don't take a year to put out, and most of them don't get fucking.. knocked up the first time! Fuck! How was I supposed to know?" the redhead reasoned desperately, knowing that justifying her actions wasn't helping, but unable to shut up.

"Well you probably want me to," she muttered, still unable to look back at the other girl. "I think it would be for the best or whatever.. I think you need a break."

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2012-09-01 11:48 am UTC (link)
"I don't know T? Are you even mad?" She yelled, finding a whole new strength in her anger. "Now you cab run off with Sam and have your perfect heterolife with him and not have to worry about me or anyone else getting in the way!"

Michi had never been a fan of their arrangement. She knew Tatum wanted to keep up the facade but Michi had always demanded to know why there had to be Sam, why she couldn't just be a single, religious freak. "Well maybe I didn't really know what I was.getting into because maybe I thought no matter how bad it got... no matter what... I just thought you would try to save us before you have into that clown!"

"Don't you dare try to tell me what I need," she snapped, spinning on her heel. "I needed you Tatum and you just... you treat me like I'm something to be ashamed of or something to hide from everyone else. I needed you to... to show me that you loved me, to let me know that I meant more to you than him!"

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2012-09-01 12:03 pm UTC (link)
"No, I'm not mad!" Tatum shot back, frustrated. "What's the sense in getting mad, what would it fix? Fucking nothing. But if you don't know how upset I am, then.. I don't know if you even know me at all. This is like, it for me. My life is fucking over," she groaned, finally relenting and turning to face Michi again as her girlfriend turned back. Tatum's eyes immediately narrowed. "I don't want Sam and I don't want some.. stupid life together! I just want to fucking get through this, and since you're so.. fucking self-centered, I guess he might be all I have left!"

In all honesty, her courage for telling anyone else was gone. She had been hoping if this telling Michi went well, she could handle Sam next. But all she could imagine now, after Mack and Michi, was negativity. No one seemed interested in doing what was best for the baby except for her. She didn't think she could take it if Sam blew up at her and abandoned her today too. "I was never ashamed of you, I never have been," she muttered darkly. "I'm ashamed of my fucking self. Coming here was a dumb idea."

She shoved her hands deeply into her pockets, clenching them there and watching Michi closely as she snapped at her. The redhead just barely flinched this time when the other girl's voice began to rise. "Well I can't save us all by myself," she snapped back. "Maybe I was waiting on you to save me.. all this time. Stupid move, right?"

She felt like shaking, like breaking down, but she tried to remain tough as she took the first few steps toward Michi's door. She knew she'd have to pass right by the other girl to get out. "I love yiu more than anything but I'm just fucked up so I obviously don't know what you need, so I guess I'll just go. It's been a pleasure."

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2012-09-04 08:46 pm UTC (link)
"Oh! I'm self-centered? I have given you fucking everything, I have lied through my teeth for you but you... you're the one dragging me through fuckin' hell makin' me watch you with him all the time," she ranted. It had all been pent up over the months and no matter how much she vented or how much she let out when they fought, she still exploded and she just couldn't stop herself. She knew it was selfish to let herself just flip but it was easier than dealing with the more complicated emotions that arose when Tatum was around. It was easier to be angry than it was to be in love with a pregnant chick.

"And just what the hell were you going to do T? Were you just going to let yourself run off with this thing without tellin' anyone? Or were you going to just deal with it by yourself?" she was flailing her arms all over. "Y'all came here cause I deserved to know." A part of Michi was screaming that Tatum came to her because she needed her and no one else.

Michi pulled her arms across her arms chest tightly. She hated the way Tatum made her feel like the bad guy but she hated that she couldn't rise above anger when Tatum needed her most. "I was tryin! You didn't wanna be saved though!"

"That's right T, just walk the fuck out like you always do! Walk away from me and run off to your fuckin'..." she couldn't even finish her sentence. "Just..." Michi turned one more time and smashed her fist into the wall, this time finally breaking through and lodging her fist deep inside. "Do whatever you want," she growled.

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2012-09-04 10:02 pm UTC (link)
"I know that! I know all of it, and I know it's my fault," she shot right back, hesitating in her path toward leaving the room. Her whole body was shaking, and Tatum turned her head a little to narrow her eyes at the other girl. "It's not a.. thing! What if I did run off? I'd probably have an easier time by myself than with you! I'll just take my thing and just piss off and leave you alone."

She really hadn't given Michi enough of a chance to save her, in all honestly. She had wanted to be herself with her girlfriend, but she was always avoiding any PDA with the other girl, and rebuking her affection whenever anyone was around. No one could know, especially not Sam, just Sera, Charlie and Hunter knowing was bad enough but they kept quiet about it. No one else could know, and Tatum had trained herself to put up a good front. It was what kept them fighting all the time, the way she could just turn herself off and act like it all meant nothing. She had never given Michi a chance to break her down her walls in public, in public she always had to act like someone else, and she had never even tried to just be herself.

Tatum was just about to the door, her hand grabbing the handle, when Michi's fist went through the wall. This time, she did jump, spinning on her heel a bit to stare dumbly at her girlfriend. Her fingers twitched, wanting to reach for her wand, to heal up the busted knuckles and broken bones. But another part, the part winning out, was furious at Michi for acting this way. "You're such.. god! I don't even know! You're such a stupid macho headcase! Punching things doesn't fix your problems!" she managed to shout, covering her face with her hands and shaking her head.

"I'm done, like so over this. I hope you're happy. I can't be around you when you act like this," the redhead informed her after a minute, turning and finally opening the door, only taking a half step out before turning back again. "You know who else punches things to feel better when they're mad? My dad, my brother.. and a whole other list of stellar, classy individuals. I'm glad you know how to stoop to that mentality just because you're.. fucking pissed off at me! Grow up, fuck!"

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2012-09-28 12:04 am UTC (link)
"I didn't mean it like that! Fuck! I just... I know it aint a thing but whatever yer gonna do yer gonna fuckin' do it and there aint no stoppin ya! Just fuckin... why'd ya have to go and fuck me over?!" she bellowed, her whole body was shaking even with her fist stuck inside the wall.

"I aint no macho headcase! I'm just pissed the fuck off and maybe some of us aint got the patience to talk shit out or go to some fuckin' school counselor. Maybe that shit don't work on the likes of someone like me," she growled. Punching things really didn't solve her problems but it did make her feel better. It was one of the few things that really did. She knew it would only be a matter of time before the comparisons started though.

"Classy?! You wanna talk fuckin' classy teen mom?" she growled furiously. She had never wanted to be like Tatum's father or brother and it was shit like that which set her off. "This is fuckin'... fucked. It's fuckin fucked," she repeated herself, finally extracting her fist from the wall. "Y'all wanna go sulk? Fuckin' fine but you can't just blame this on me! I aint the one that got you the way you is," she said angrily.

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