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 THESE FINALS. |
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'SUP KIDS GUESS WHO'S UPDATING IN THE UNIVERSITY COMPUTER LAB
No really, I have my MIDI class in here and I'm always ludicrously early so hello there. Man, but this reminds me of my old LJ days. Remember how I'd always update right before my CSS class? That was hilarious. I was such an airhead back then.
Anyway. I've been kind of MIA online for a while and I will explain why.
1. I don't like spending so much time on computers. Really, I don't. I miss spending my days drawing and writing in actual books, not burning my eyes out with a bright white screen until ungodly hours of the morning. I mean sure, I type a lot faster than I write and I absolutely love digital coloring, but I can't ever undervalue the old traditional stuff. So I'm taking some time off.
2. FINALS. This is the most important thing. I'm taking a MIDI class and a music recording class (as you may already know), so the finals naturally involve some heavy-duty work. My midterm took me 24 studio hours, which cracks me up now that I think about it, but it paid off-- I honestly got an A+ for 'ambitious' and my teacher personally complimented me which was awesome. However the finals are a different sort of work. For recording I have to mix and master a track, which isn't too hard but just takes a good amount of time to judge sound. For MIDI, though, I have to write a two-minute 'opening credits' sequence for an 'underwater action sequence.' There's a huge story behind that project, but long story short, it is really freaking fun. The only problem is that I have to book a specific studio to work on it, and time is tight. So I get like a half hour in in the morning and that's it. Oh and did I mention that its a group project? Joy. </SARCASM> Nah, I'm kidding. I don't mind groups, but groups in music are just ridiculous. I need the whole thing to myself so I can create utterly without limits. I basically meld with the machine, haha. So if someone else is in the way, or if I'm having to 'judge' my project according to someone else's view, it's like I just got a brick wall to the face. It's not fun. But the kids in my group are awesome so I can't complain. I just have to sneak in early in the morning to work on it myself! No offense, that's just how I roll. I've got 30 seconds down (I had to rewrite the darn thing almost 5 times already since last Tueday-- I promise I'll fill you in on the whole adventure after I audition the final project next Thursday) and it sounds pretty awesome if I do say so myself. I'm going to do everything I can to get up to campus tomorrow and squeeze some more time in if possible, but if not, then hey. I'll do what I can with what I have.
3. CHRISTMAS. Well, kind of. I'm not concerned about decorations (we put up the tree on Thanksgiving and that's all I need), nor am I worried about presents (I don't want anything and I'm dead broke), BUT I know everyone else is getting ready so guess who's driving himself completely bonkers selling all his old collectibles on eBay? Yep, this guy. So that is keeping me somewhat on the internet, so to speak, but all the shipping shenanigans I've had to go through lately are nevertheless keeping me far away from anything else on the computer. In any case this is actually fun and I'm making some cash while cleaning out all this stuff (I don't like having 'stuff' around), so it's all good.
4. Upstairs life. Last time I updated here, I mentioned that "something absolutely insane happened." What was that something, you ask? Well, put as simply as possible... Natalie is back. As Nathaniel.
Yeah, I'm dead serious. You can read about that here; reiterating that whole scenario would take up far too much time and space.
Life has been very stressful since then, what with coping and co-fronting and fighting off hacks, but we have gotten shockingly adept at it and I haven't had any serious trouble since the month started. I'm extremely grateful for that. Nat was horrifically angry with me for a few days after he resurrected, true... he told me that "he didn't want to have come back to life only to see me suffering from the same thing that killed him." That awful truth, as well as the pain and rage I felt from him, caused some sort of shift in me and I fought as hard as I possibly could after that. It wore me out but Nat eventually calmed down and now things are really pretty lovely up here. I mean, sure, there's still stress, but together we can deal with it.
Xenophon is ghosting as much as she can now, too. She's hilarious and adorable and I love her so much; it is an absolute joy to have her around. It's funny because I'm having to teach her things here and there, like I did with Genesis, but it's nowhere near as drastic because 1. everyone else upstairs helps her too, and 2. being technically "world-born" gives her some innate knowledge the way it is. Either way she is so fascinated by every new thing and it's keeping me fascinated too. She appreciates everything.
She, Chaos Zero, and Laurie all give off some sort of 'peace' that completely centers me whenever I catch it. Even if Laurie is screaming at me, when I'm with her I just feel so at home and safe. It's something about her. When Xenophon is with me, I feel that same thing. When Chaos is with me, it's all I can feel.
I am so thankful for that... it's gotten me through more tough situations than I can count, it really has. I'm confident that we'll get through this too.
So anyway, here I am, running on barely 5 hours of sleep yet again. It happens!
Finals are next Thursday and I have so much work to do before then... and would you look at that, the professor just assigned more. Geez!
I think I need to take a day off and just relax, haha.
How are you?
TIRED. Tired and stressed out but still happy underneath all that.
Do you ever wish you were someone else?
No, I only wish people could see me. This article describes EXACTLY how I feel, by the way.
What age do you get mistaken for?
Uh, I'm not sure. People do tend to think I'm much younger in general, although it was the exact opposite when I was a kid!
Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality:
I'm a Taurus but I was supposed to be a Cancer. I fit the latter better, I think; I've been told that I'm a very 'different' Taurus in that the usual traits are not necessarily reflected in me.
What did you do on your last birthday?
I do not remember! Seriously, I don't. Last May feels like a lifetime ago.
What is one thing you would like to accomplish before your next birthday?
I'd like to get a new job that won't hurt psychologically, so I can actually pay for food. Seriously.
Have you ever dyed your hair?
Yeah, I usually dye it bright red, but I'm iffy on using chemicals now. I got horribly dizzy last time.
Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it:
It technically belongs to Nathaniel and Spine right now, so I'm trying not to let my dysphoria crush me as much as usual. "It will only harm you if you expect it to," you know. It's very very tough though.
Have you ever considered plastic surgery? What would you alter about your body?
I've been over this hundreds of times, love. I daresay you know the drill.
Say 8 facts about your body:
It's scary sometimes, it can make mirrors rather disturbing, it hurts more than I'd like it to, it still is in decent shape, it's not so bad if you get over the gender thing, the face shape actually works with my Bro hair, it gives me a way to interact in this plane, and I'm thankful I have the darn thing regardless.
Do you have any tattoos?
Nope. I strongly considered it for years but then decided I don't really want ink in my skin.
What’s your sexual orientation?
Asexual, and I'm also celibate which is important!
Where do you work?
Currently only with Mr. Sandman right now. I don't have a day job thanks to school and psychological worries.
Something you are working on right now:
E*Girls technical work! I love all this detailed stuff. I'm jumping straight into Dream World next, no matter how daunting it is!
Do you have any “rules” about food?
I have some food intolerances and I seem to have trouble with gluten and dairy, and I CANNOT handle chemicals in food. But I don't really have any 'rules' besides those?
Where are you from?
The source.
What would you say is your best quality?
The deep red compassion at the heart of me.
What do you think you’re really good at?
Imagining? Creating? I'm no virtuoso in art/ writing/ music but I put my heart into it anyway.
What do you think you’re really bad at?
Socializing! I love people but geez, public places can really overwhelm me.
What talent do you wish you’d been born with?
I just want to do parkour, man. SO much.
Are you a bad person?
No. I do have shadows but so does everyone else. I've learned that I need them.
Are you nice to everyone?
I do my absolute best to be.
Say 3 facts about your personality:
I'm constantly amazed by life, I try far too hard, and my need for peace can actually make me somewhat lazy.
What is your ideal bed? Why?
A canopy. I've wanted one since I was a kid because then you have this little close space all to yourself! However I do have an alternate room in headspace that has a large circular bed and that's awesome for group stuff, heheh.
Did you wake up cranky?
No, I usually never wake up in a bad mood unless I've had an awful nightmare.
Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?
No, but Unisalia still hangs out in my room.
What do you think about the most?
Spiritual stuff, I guess. It's been my main concern since the spring.
What you want to be when you “get older”?
I don't know! I never thought I would 'get older' when I was a kid, but now I want to simply because there is so much in life to be lived, so to speak.
What are your career goals?
I don't have anything definite here either, but I do want to be involved in creativity somehow. Art, music, writing, acting, the whole shebang. Anything like that would work for me.
What is your ideal career?
I'm thinking something like filmmaking or animating, actually? I have so many ideas... I'd love to write a story, create the music and art for it, and gather people to perform it in one way or another... something like that.
Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
Aha, dude, no way. Pluto went into Capricorn and stuff just went absolutely crazy!
Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
Not anymore. It's very refreshing, actually.
Have you ever had an imaginary friend?
Define 'imaginary!' I had tons of dream friends and they were (are!) all very real, thank you very much.
Say 10 facts about your room:
It does not exist! Well, at least not outside of headspace, and the one up there changes all the time!
Do you have any phobias?
Nope. I used to be terrified of elevators, but after the psych ward trip I figured "dude, after that, elevators are a walk in the park!"
Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist?
Far too many times, since I was about 6 or 7.
Are you allergic to anything? If so, what?
I have a corn intolerance and some sort of dairy aversion. Plus being an indigo aspie seems to cause dietary troubles, but I'm doing what I can do overcome those hurdles.
Ever broken any bones?
Nope, which is surprising considering what a rough-and-tumble maniac I was as a kid.
Ever come close to death?
Yeah, in a sense.
Things you like and dislike about yourself:
I like basically everything about myself except the fact that I'm not as confident and disciplined as I need to be.
What are three things most people don’t know about you?
Let's see, what have I not said yet? Uh... I used to draw 'grey' aliens to an obsessive extent in third grade, I actually like Kenny G's Christmas music, and when I was a kid I was unfailingly attracted to the 'comic relief' characters in cartoons, who were usually short and loud. My mom would joke about this all the time.
An unknown fact about your life:
When I was about 6, I would go in my mom's room, close the door, and turn the lights down low. Then I would spin in circles for a minute, and I believed that it was a transformation sequence that made me part dragon.
Share something about yourself others might think is weird:
I have this weird sort of non-physical need to 'melt into' things. I think it's why I try to get so close to people and end up getting badly damaged in the process, or misrouting things in the hope that it'll help. Maybe it's an unconscious drive for reintegration with 'being,' who knows. But I get that a lot. I want to just leave my 'self' and it's physical separation behind, and just bleed into the world, pure and honest.
Describe yourself in one word/sentence:
I am a cathedral-winged kaleidoscope with snow in my blood and stars in my eyes.
A quote you try to live by:
"Remember, we are all affecting the world every moment, whether we mean to or not. Our actions and states of mind matter. because we're so deeply interconnected with one another. Working on our own consciousness is the most important thing that we are doing at any moment, and being love is the supreme creative act."
Weird things you do when you’re alone:
I wonder if Bro-bot would wrestle with me and what that would entail. HMM.
Something you do without realising:
I fidget constantly. It's kind of funny.
5 things you want to change:
I want people to stop judging and hating and condemning is all. If that alone changes, if we all just learn to accept and love one another unconditionally, everything else will fall into place.
What is your favorite thing to do?
I'd say exploring or writing, but really, I just like meditating now. Just 'being' in quiet and calmness. I've spent so much time doing that with Chaos that it's really all I could ever ask for.
What’s your favorite color?
Rich reds. Used to be purple.
What’s your favorite band/singer?
FROST*/ Todd Rundgren. YOU KNOW THIS
What’s your favorite movie?
I have a few! Right now it's Inception because that was so awesome.
What are your favorite books?
Animorphs, Young Wizards, Good Omens, Fahrenheit 451, JTHM, Captain Estar Goes To Heaven.
What is your favorite quote and why?
"Of course it is happening inside your head... but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" (Dumbledore, in Harry Potter). I still have doubts, but my heart knows with total certainty that this quote speaks the truth.
Describe your favorite texture:
Chaos Zero. *cough* I'm serious. But besides him, I love surfaces that don't 'give,' and are usually smooth and cold. Basically, metal and glass, and also glossy paints. I will admit that I actually experience a weird sort of physical attraction to robots/ cyborgs/ etc. and insectoids (exoskeletons) for this reason. Chaos still counts because he's liquid but he has a low body temperature and he's got this energy field thing going on and agh it's amazing.
What’s your favourite scent?
Mint, pomanders, snow, and sunlight.
What is your favorite season?
WINTER!
What are the top five places you wish you could go before you die?
Gimmelwald, Macchu Picchu, Rio de Janeiro, and Asia in general, I guess. The world is just so beautiful. I have tons of pictures on my computer of places I want to visit, but I have no idea where they are... man, how amazing would that be? Just going on a huge 'road trip' across the globe and visiting tiny secret places everywhere.
What’s your favorite television show?
Puella Magi Madoka Magica. I don't watch much TV anymore but that series was incredible.
What’s your relationship like with your family?
Okay, I guess? I love them all and we do get along, but there are some very bad spots that are quite obvious. So it's tough some days. I am very thankful for them all though.
The best and the worst childhood memories:
Best: Sitting in forsythia trees with my stuffed animals, my first visit to New York, violin lessons, hanging out with Cassandra and Alexandria, when my brothers and I built forts in the living room and slept out there (best. night. ever.), writing songs on the living room piano, and the one time when it snowed like two feet so I dug a deep hole in it and just curled up in there. It was the most peaceful thing.
Worst: Almost getting locked in the cellar, the one time my grandmother made me think she was dead, getting my head stapled, getting locked out of my room at night, and EVERYTHING involving the far bathroom. Far too much trauma happened in there.
Where would you like to live?
No idea. I always joke about 'living in a van' and just exploring the country, but who knows? The future is too wide open for me to be planning that right now.
What would your dream house be like?
See above. Geez, even my house in headspace is regularly changing. I just can't stay in one place for long, at least not without serious wanderlust getting at me.
Where you want to be right now?
At my personal computer, and typing. Simple pleasures, man.
Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
Guys. I just find it harder to relate to girls, which is upsetting because they're cool too.
Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?
Chaos, Laurie, Genesis, and Xenophon. I'm set for life!
Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?
Laurie. Just her. I trust her with my life.
If your best friend died, what would you do?
I'd be devastated for quite some time, but I'd find a way to move on... at least I got to know them for a little while.
The last person you hugged?
Xenophon!
Story of your first kiss?
I thought I was going to die and I ended up warping the mindscape I was in and telling Ryman that I was tired of taking him and everyone for granted and then bam, it happened. 2005!
Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
*points to Chaos Zero*
You have a preference for boys or girls?
I prefer nongendered people if that's possible, actually. Because of this I really don't 'prefer' physically-based genders, because that has no relevance to what I'm looking for.
Is the male or female body closest to perfection?
Neither. They both have good and bad points to me, aesthetically. Androgyny does it for me.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
In a sense, yes! Real love is always there, so in that sense it can be tapped into 'at first sight.'
Do you believe in soul mates?
*points to Chaos Zero again* July 7th was God's way of saying "hey Jewel? STOP DOUBTING THIS."
What is your idea of the perfect date?
I don't date. I'd only do something remotely close to a date if I had already known the person a while, and then it would be straight-up moirallegiance.
Based on past relationships or crushes, describe your perfect boyfriend/girlfriend:
Uh... well they're definitely not going to be human, haha. But really, as long as they have a good heart I'm game.
What is the first thing you notice in someone?
Their expression/ body language. I think. I won't remember someone's eye or hair color or even what they were wearing, but I'll remember their tone of voice and how they carried themselves.
Are looks important in a relationship?
Only for personal aesthetic purposes and even then they're always secondary and mutable.
What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?
In people? Hairstyles/ fashion sense (ironically). Really. People tend to express themselves that way and I'm drawn to more creative, dignified, and even 'childlike' looks. In nonhumans, I still have big weaknesses for fangs and weird eyes and tails.
What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?
I can't talk, haha. I'll admit bigger age differences in people (like 15+ years) are off-putting to me, but that's only because I assume 'romance' is involved and that's just off-putting to me in general.
Do you have a crush on anyone?
I definitely have something for Hosea, I'll admit it. I think it's more of a squish though, because I'm not interested in 'romantic' things but (and don't take this the wrong way) I really want to get all up in his personal space, haha.
Say 1 fact about the person you like:
He is still maddeningly tricky to draw.
If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
Think we can get that going three ways?
Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
In a sense, yeah. But I didn't demand anything. I'll still love them even if I never see them again.
Anyone you’re giving up on?
I never give up.
Have you ever liked one of your best friends?
Alexandria, haha! I still like her way too much. She is amazing!
Say five ways to win your heart:
Be compassionate, be honest, be brave, be open, and don't ever lose your sense of wonder.
What turns you on?
...Uh, little things, actually. Heartbeats and broken voices. The way the light catches in peoples eyes. Things like that.
What turns you off?
When people start trying to be 'sexy' or 'romantic.' Dude I'm permanently in pale territory and I'm not flushing for anyone but that oceanblood over there.
What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?
SEE ABOVE. But in all seriousness, in terms of 'intimacy' that would just be being very close to someone and just being there... not doing anything else, just being close and honest. That can be platonic or it can be pushing the boundaries like you wouldn't believe. Chaos is way too good at that. He has a way with silence.
Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? Have you had one written for you?
Every time I'm up late and in love, I end up writing about Chaos. He already has several pieces of poetry and at least two songs to his name. As for me, I've had a small handful of poems and songs written for me, by several people, which is quite an honor.
Are you in love?
Eternally so.
Can you commit to one person?
No, haha. I can commit to someone for life, sure, but I can't only pick one person!
Do you ever want to get married?
Not in the sense you're thinking of.
What is your definition of cheating?
Being in a committed relationship with one person, and then pursuing another relationship with someone else, without informing either party of this duality.
How often do you listen to music?
Every day, in one way or another.
What kind of music you like?
Progressive rock, soundtracks, liquid funk, and choral music, mostly. Also there's a certain 'sound' of rock music from around the 70s or 80s that I love, but I haven't pinpointed that subgenre yet.
Share a song that takes you to a certain memory in the past:
Here's a good one... "Wind Through The Trees" by Ed Harcourt. When I flew out to Chicago in 2010, alone, this song came on my iPod as soon as the plane reached the clouds. I looked down, the land below me at a gentle tilt, alien but familiar, so far away. I remember seeing houses and trees and bright blue swimming pools, and wanting to cry because it was all so beautiful and I had never seen it like this before.
The sky above us was misty and grey and it enveloped the sun in rainbow rings. The plane was quiet and still, and I watched the world drift slowly by below, as the piano softly sang in my headphones.
The lyrics were morbid and strange and so true at the time. I closed my eyes at the four minute mark and I was devastatingly sad and blissfully happy and it was perfect.
Put your music player on shuffle and write the first ten songs that play:
- "Illuminated" = Múm
- "Map of What Is Effortless" = Telefon Tel Aviv
- "The Lemon Of Pink" = The Books
- "A Lot Of Livin' To Do" = George St. Kitts
- "The Maiden and The Minstrel Knight" = Blind Guardian
- "Light Grenades" = Incubus
- "Sinful Hope" = Masashi Hamauzu
- "Supervenience" = Fantastic Plastic Machine
- "Saved" = The Dear Hunter
- "Cliché" = Todd Rundgren
A book you want to read/have recently read:
I'm currently reading "The Nature of Personal Reality: A Seth Book" and it is helping me IMMENSELY. I'm going to buy a copy for myself (this one belongs to the library). I'm debating starting another spiritual book next or re-reading the first Young Wizards book for Xenophon's sake-- Diane Duane knows what she's talking about.
Do you like watching what type of movies?
Sci-fi, mostly. I love animated stuff, and fantasy is great as long as it's not too 'medieval' for my tastes. I also have an addiction to religious horror movies, which I know I have said before!
If you could be any character, from any literary work, who would you choose to be?
John Egbert, maybe. That or Alpha Bro Strider, depending on how he turns out-- I am relating far too well to him right now. I swear I'm part Strider somehow. UU is also adorably close to my personality, but she's an enigma yet. And even though I'm more similar to Johnny C. and Captain Estar than I'd openly admit, I can't say I'd readily choose to be in their positions.
Halloween costume idea?
I was Dave Strider and Johnny C. this year; it was brilliant.
Would you rather be stranded on a desert island with someone you love for ten years or someone you hate for a month? Explain why.
Someone I 'hate,' for a month. I'd learn to love them.
Do you believe in fate/destiny?
To an extent. I believe that everything is part of one grand picture that we can't see from where we are, but I also believe that everything we do is intrinsically important to it, with free will being incredibly vital.
What you wish for on 11:11?
I'm usually with a certain someone when the clock hits 11:11 and I wouldn't wish for anything else in those moments.
Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets?
Well of course! To think that we're all there is is kind of small-minded, when you look up at the night sky.
What is your religion, if any?
I don't have one. I still call myself a 'Lumineist' here and there, but that simply means that I recognize and strive to live by and for the 'Light in all things,' aka God aka The Force aka whatever you want to call it! Labeling myself as, or even adhering to one specific religion, feels terribly stifling to me.
Would you go against your moral code for money?
Nope. Money is just a tool, just paper and metal that we deem as valuable. Ultimately it isn't important.
What’s more important to you: strength of the body or strength of the mind?
The strength of the mind. Unfortunately I've been neglecting my body in favor of mental workouts and that's not good either!
How important you think education is?
Extremely important. However education should always promote creativity and curiosity and wonder and healthy skepticism and an open mind. If it's just reciting facts and figures, you're missing out on a lot.
Is it the thought that counts? Or is that phrase circumstantial?
It's circumstantial. I do appreciate good motives, but they can be badly twisted (I've seen it happen) so you do have to be very careful. This can also work in the opposite way-- with a bad motivation actually bringing about something good. In all situations, though, be very careful and aware of your thoughts!
If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do?
I read a quote once, where a monk was asked a similar question. "What would you do if you only had ten minutes to live?" He answered, "meditate." I didn't understand his reply when I first read it. Now I do.
Are you a procrastinator or do you get things done early?
Both. If I have the means to get something done early, I will get it done as soon as possible. If I don't, I'll put it off. I've been doing this with my music projects (unfortunately) because they are just very stressful to work on, knowing that they'll be graded. I get a perfectionist streak and that holds me back, actually!
What motivates you in life?
Knowing that this is only temporary, but it's part of something big and beautiful nevertheless. It's hard to explain in words.
Something that you’re proud of:
Neon Flames! Seriously, that turned out surprisingly well.
Share the story of something that makes you smile:
Back when I was taking Illustration classes at my old University, I attended a 'career test' in the student center during the summer. There were four other students there, and one had brought her son with her because she couldn't find a babysitter. So while we were all sitting at a table and listening to the test organizer talk about career options, her son was sitting at another table and drawing on a bunch of papers with a pencil. Then all of a sudden he walked over to us, and handed his mother a picture, saying "I drew you!" This was cute enough, but then he went around the rest of the table and handed us ALL pictures. My pencil-self had big buggy eyes, a huge grin, and some sort of crazy hairstyle that was twice as big as it was. I thanked him sincerely, and could not stop smiling. I still have that picture!
What was something you used to enjoy, but was ruined for you? What’s the story behind that?
College did this to my art for a long time. I am currently punching that ruination in the face, turning it into a door, and walking through it into Idgaf City, where I have a huge art studio and am putting it to good use. Flawless victory.
Describe one of the most awkward experiences of your life:
Uh... I think that was the time when Jacob first visited me, actually. I was too scared of complete rejection and invalidation to communicate with him, and so he was assuming completely wrong things about me, and it was almost a disaster.
Are you over your past?
Not yet. I'm close, and I want to say that I am, but it's lingering. I think that's what I'll work on this weekend...
What is your saddest memory?
...I have a few, but one odd one stands out. I made a sculpture of Halcyon, once, but due to events outside of my control it ended up badly damaged before I could fire it. I couldn't fix him so I wanted to save the clay, but I couldn't bear to take the sculpture apart, after spending hours building him with utmost care. When I finally gave in and delicately took the sculpture of him apart I honestly could not stop sobbing. I'd lost enough at that point to be terrified that I was tearing Halcyon himself apart in the process. It took me a while to recover...
One of the hardest moments in your life:
...That one morning I had to dig graves around 1AM. It was horrible...
Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?
Yeah. There are a few things. And this is why I'm not over my past yet! Geez...
What’s something you want to do that you’d be embarrassed to tell other people about?
Let's give some backstory first. If I didn't have these unneeded parts to worry about, I would not wear clothes. No, really. For some reason I like being that vulnerable. So if I could do that I would. There you go, TMI Thursdays, you're quite welcome.
Something you’re currently worrying about:
FINALS
Have you done something you regret very much?
Yeah. Take a look at Laurie when she has her bandages off.
If you could take something back that you said or did, what would it be?
There was one time in like, 4th grade, that I said something rather nasty to a friend and immediately regretted it. I had no idea why I said it, and although I can't remember anything about that incident but the regret, I would fix that if I could.
Are you good at hiding your feelings?
No, simply because I can't stand the feeling of complete dishonesty it gives.
What’s something you hide about your personality?
Let's put it this way... I'm like Gamzee in reverse.
How do you approach social situations?
I watch them for a little while to see if I should even bother, and if so, then I usually just walk right in.
Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
I'm very much an introvert. If I don't have a lot of time alone to recharge, I burn out pretty fast.
Do you care if people talk badly about you?
Only if what they say has merit.
How do you deal with criticism?
I take it to heart, man. It stings a bit because of my perfectionist side, but I'm quickly learning to brush that off.
What’s something that scares you about the future?
The fact that we're hurting the world and each other so much. I don't want that to cause something irreversible and catastrophic.
One thing you’re excited for:
My 8th anniversary. I haven't mentioned it much anywhere yet, but it is SO significant my heart can barely take it.
Describe the most terrifying/strangest/beautiful dream you’ve ever had:
In order: the one with the bombs and girls, the one with the rifts, and the one with the floating crystals. I refuse to write the first one down, and the last one was too incredible for words.
Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
Of COURSE. I have had many. Well, again, they're really squishes, but the point still stands!
Make a confession:
I am finishing this entry at home! WHAT A TWIST.
Honestly I do have a lot of work to do but I think I'm actually going to take a break today. I didn't get much sleep at all last night and I'm ridiculously burned out, so I'll wait until the weekend to dive back into my projects.
If you have finals next week too, good luck!!
|
the end.
nostalgic
nd I think I need to find this mirror, for my own sanity's sake.
drained
amused
Love.
