my name is lucy and i'm probably one of the biggest bitches you will ever meet. i don't take anyone's shit because i was raised smarter than that and besides the point, i have five brothers and all of them are older than me. so yeah, to say the least i'm kind of a tomboy even though i wear braids in my hair and sundresses most of the time. i'd probably rather play bloody knuckles than have a "girl talk" type of conversation, that shit bores me to death anyway. i'll always stand my own ground and take care of myself, i won't tolerate letting other people push me around and i usually don't. then again most people just avoid dealing with me altogether. contrary to popular belief i'm actually not a stupid hippie. yeah i probably look like one and act like one though i'm not really all for this environmental bullshit, i think it's a little ironic that people only started giving a shit about the environment and started trying to take care of it because they finally realized the giant gaping hole in the ozone layer is, uh, kind of fucking bad. though you know it's not like i'm piling on hairspray and littering, i just don't want to be a complete new age indie asshole who thinks they're fucking awesome for going green. it's kind of obnoxious now, a little bit more than it probably would have been but you know at the same time trends always make their rounds and now the hippie 60's trend is coming back and being modernized.

what the fuck happened there? i told myself i wasn't going to go talking about hippies and how much i hate how people make it seem like if you smoke pot and grow your hair out and wear flowers and ribbons in your hair you're automatically a hippie. besides the point, i was born and raised in hoboken, new jersey. i love my dirty jersey roots and i wouldn't want to change it for anything in the world. i guess you could say that mortifying shit is my forte? demented shit happened in my neighborhood, little girls got raped and murdered a lot. mostly it was gang type of bullshit but i never really got involved, my mom barely let me out of my room let alone the house. though i guess when i got older and adapted my "fuck you" attitude, she decided she couldn't really stop me. though i hated making her feel like a shitty mom because i had a horrible attitude towards everyone and everything but at the same time ...she was always bugging me and she couldn't really give a flying fuck what any of my brothers ever did. seriously. you'd think i'm kidding but i guess being the baby of the family grants me automatic "your mom is going to be latched to your back like a god damned spider monkey. be prepared." although i guess now i'm finally realizing she just didn't want me to get raped or anything ...i'm sure anything could have ended like in last house on the left, at the original but i guess smoking pot with a random boy would pretty classify anyone as fucking stupid. although i guess everyone has to learn their lessons the hard way, i personally still think it's fucking idiotic to even bother with anyone on this earth who's that creepy and ominous ...even if he turned out to be not so much of a dirtbag in the end. not too sure why i just pretty much reviewed that movie but whatever works.

unfortunately i never got the wonderful spectacle of being daddy's little girl. i didn't grow up with a dad but more like a few dads. as if i'm going to suck up to this assholes taking advantage of my mom, fuck that noise. although i've met my dad maybe three times in my entire life, well my mom stopped talking about him when i was around five or six but i don't remember exactly when. i knew the moment i was never going to actually see my dad again was and it's still a pretty vivid memory in my mind. not only did my mom show off her new eye candy to all of us but even my older brothers hated this fucker. well, the first boyfriend at least was just an asshole in it's own and was one of those children haters. he wanted me and my brothers gone and hopefully to stick around long enough until he could devise a way to get rid of us. this prick tried everything. and i mean everything. he tried sending us all to private schools and to make us stay at our grandmothers house constantly and even over the summer me and three of my brothers practically lived at our friends houses just to keep the fuck away from him. really it's not all that bad when you compare him to the rest of them. speaking of, i still don't necessarily understand what possesses a man to beat his girlfriend. why would you even bother being with someone just to hurt them? i mean sure we all have had our fair share of shitty relationships and it happens, you know? but beating the shit out of your girlfriend and her youngest kids who can't defend themselves, unlike the older ones who know what they're doing. despite the fact that shit is so illegal that even if that motherfucker touched me he could have gotten himself thrown into penitentiary so fast his head would fucking spin. this among many other of my moms little showcases of boyfriends are the reasons i don't date men, i don't and i don't think i'll ever actually be able to. the last guy my mom dated i can truthfully thank for this. i guess in all reality my childhood was shot, i figured my teenage years could have been something of a positive thing but boy was i wrong. as a teenager i spent most of my time either in school or at home, when my mom started drinking more and more then that's when shit started going even worse on my end. although i guess once my mom started passing out at oh so early hours of the evening and who did my moms boyfriend feel like fucking? you guessed it, four to five years of being raped because your mom was dating an alcoholic pedophile? not ideal in the slightest. though i do have a lot of guy friends now but i don't let people get very close to me, you have to get to know me well enough to where i feel like you can be close to me. otherwise, no dice.

though high school was a fucking trip. i hung out with all the stoners, the loners and the fucking morons. my mom hated it and i'm fully aware that she did. my first boyfriend who i met when i was in my freshman year of high school and dated for a year and a half got me to smoke weed with him all the time, though i think the habit is disgusting now mainly because it reminds me of how shitty high school was and how much i hate him. needless to say i was a little bit of a partier in high school, amazingly passed through it like it was fucking nothing although i was either drunk or high most of the time it seemed, or at least people thought so. i guess as a remaining factor i sort of let that part of my life die when i graduated but at the same time i'm a bartender now? so what the fuck i've been surrounded by booze since i was five years old. welcome to my life, alcoholics and wanna be drunkards. although you know, bartending isn't really you're like life's goal as a profession but i think it's pretty cool. i mostly work at night so it sort of benefits to me having a life outside of work even if i just sit at home with my cats and sleep all day. i'm one lazy bitch, let me tell you. i'd probably rather sleep or read a book above all things first and foremost and then once i do that for about 80% of my day when i'm not at work then i'll find someone to let me bother them and just have to deal with me. case and point: i'm quite a handful but if you can deal with me then well, you're probably really a fucking godsend.

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