an american in paris kirsten “kaci” davidoff

When the physician confirmed Jessica Davidoff’s suspicions, her heart plunged into the pit of her stomach. An internship at a small but successful law firm had provided her with the opportunity to expand her horizons, as well as tread the fine line between professionalism and her personal desires. She swallowed back such inappropriate thoughts, reminding herself of the ethical and moral complications for lusting after her superior. Yet, Dave Monroe possessed an irresistible charm that continuously knocked her off her feet. She admired him from afar, eying the gold band on his left hand and fantasizing that she was the wife that he came home to every night. A difficult case found the pair spending the better part of their evenings slaving away in the office, paving the way for the inevitable. She could recall every delicious moment of the four week long affair, ending only as she returned to Connecticut to tend to her ailing father. By the time she returned to Georgetown for the fall semester, she had been nothing more than a memory to her married lover. Her heartache masked the symptoms, the obvious signs that he had left her with more than just a broken heart. She was carrying his child. By the time the pregnancy had been confirmed, Jessica had already entered her second trimester. She braced herself to face motherhood alone as she began to prepare for her child’s arrival. The news had been a shock to her parents, but they reassured her that they would do their part to help her raise this child. She debated confronting Dave once more, in hopes that he would sweep her into his arms and tell her that of course he would be the father this baby deserved. Better yet, he would be the husband that Jessica deserved. Mustering her courage, she scheduled an appointment at the law firm. The moment she waddled into his office, her rotund frame boasting her sixth month of pregnancy, Dave Monroe balked as he slumped into his chair. He did not fulfill her fantasies, instead asking how much money she needed to relocate elsewhere. For the first time, Jessica saw Dave for what he truly was - a coward. No longer did he appear to be that powerful man she had fallen in love with; he had shrunken with vulnerability behind the massive mahogany desk. Setting her jaw, she explained that she could not be disposed of, but she would surely not deprive her child of the financial stability her father could provide. After negotiating a hefty settlement, Jessica bid him farewell as she walked out of his life forever. With the proceeds so graciously provided by her former lover, Jessica settled into a home in Arlington, Virginia to raise her child. The 4th day of January in 1980 began her adventure into motherhood as she celebrated the birth of her daughter, Kirsten. Staring down at the pink bundle in her arms, Jessica knew in that instant that everything would be fine. She affectionately nicknamed the child Kaci, doting upon her over the years. Despite her father’s absence in her life, she never lacked for anything. Her grandparents lavished their first grandchild with love and affection while her uncles provided the father figures she desperately needed as she grew older. To say that the only child was spoiled would have been an understatement; she was the princess of the castle, and no one questioned her role in life. Kaci maintained the perfect balance between tomboy and girly-girl, her ability to recite sports statistics while prancing around in her pink tutu quite the entertainment for her mother and extended family. If batting her eyelashes to have her way did not work, the precocious youngster had perfected the art of stomping her feet and throwing a tantrum. It seemed no matter what, Kaci could not be denied. As Kaci entered kindergarten, Jessica also returned to college to accomplish her goal of becoming an attorney. Balancing a rigorous academic load with motherhood proved to be difficult juggling act, forcing her to seek assistance from her neighbor. The Scotts appeared to be the perfect family, and it certainly was fortunate that they had a son Reid who was only one year younger than Kaci. Betty had elected to be homemaker, tending to the household and her son. She had been Jessica’s saving grace, looking after the rambunctious little girl while her mother attended school. More often than not, the tiny brunette had no idea what to make of the little boy with whom she had been forced to keep company. They did not share the same interests, and he appeared to know much more than she did despite the fact that he was younger. She often felt uncomfortable in his presence, wondering if he was speaking in tongues rather than the gibberish she preferred when playing in the backyard tree house. Even amidst their differences, the two had managed to forge a friendship that would not wane over the years. Second grade introduced Kaci to the other friendship that would have a profound impact on her life. In an effort to teach her students the proper skills needed to write a letter, Ms. Ludwig had paired her students up with a partner in her college friend’s California class. Hazel eyes drank in her partner’s name, wondering if a certain Fannie Mae Baer could feel the excitement dripping from her fingertips onto the page when she read her first letter. Over the course of the school year, the pair exchanged a staggering total of thirty-three letters, each tucked into a specially decorated shoebox beneath her bed. Their friendship continued to blossom over the years as they continued to write letters to one other, sharing the most intimate details of her life when she trusted no one else. It did not matter that the entire nation spanned between them. Fannie was no longer cloaked in anonymity; she was her best friend. The tradition of writing letters continued through high school, despite the fact that there were much more convenient methods of communication such as the telephone or email. Upon high school graduation, the two friends mustered the courage to meet face to face. While their friendship expanded to include regular telephone calls and occasional visit, the letters had never ceased over the years. The stability of her friendships with both Reid and Fannie had bred the confidence the brunette needed to tackle middle school, particularly when the inevitably hierarchy of popularity reared its ugly head. As her peers began to break off into their respective cliques, Kaci found herself swept away in the throes of popularity. It had never been a position that she coveted, but it had been one that had been bestowed upon her nonetheless. She quickly learned that one’s position in the social hierarchy dictated her destiny, at least as far as high school was concerned. The only child quickly acclimated to the new environment, playing the role everyone seemed to expect of her. Truthfully, Kaci hated the idea that everyone fell into one category or another. She had been best friends with Reid for as long as she could remember. He had been there for every birthday party, every bruised knee, every argument with her mother. It pained her that her friends expected her to shun him simply because he did not meet their superficial standards. Yet, what she especially disliked was the fact that she had to pour so much effort into maintaining her so-called popularity. She constantly felt as though she was being examining under a microscope. One false move could cost her the luxury she had long ago grown accustomed to. As much as she wanted out, she did not have the courage to deny everything she had ever known. The fall from grace was not something she even wanted to fathom. Her junior year of high school provided her with the opportunity to escape the pettiness and further expand horizons, as she ventured to France for a semester as a foreign exchange student. The moment she set foot in Paris, she became enamored by the city. She breathed in the vivacity that radiated from the heart of the city, every bit a tourist as she gawked at the glamorous people shuffling past her. The host family had a daughter a year older than her, and she spent the majority of her time emulating her every word and movement. However, her mannerisms and accent clearly exposed the fact that she was merely an American in Paris. Her host sister Amelie had introduced Kaci to her friends, many of them older as Amelie was far more mature than the friends Kaci knew back home in Washington D.C. It had been her first grand adventure, her first foray into the world, and surely no grand adventure would be complete without an epic love story. There in Paris, she had fallen in love for the first time with an older gentleman by the name of Philippe. He was her senior of eleven years, but he made her feel like a young woman rather than the awkward teenager she considered herself to be. He introduced her to romance and all the promises it offered, presenting her with the world on a silver platter. The end of the semester arrived within a blink of an eye, leaving her with the bittersweet taste of goodbye as she bid him adieu. Senior year of high school passed in a blur with no notable events other than the fact that graduation loomed before her. The eighteen-year-old decided that she wanted to pursue photography rather than a binding career like her mother, who had since established herself as a successful divorce attorney. With Jessica’s blessing, her only daughter packed her bags and embarked on a year long sabbatical to the city she had fallen in love with only a year earlier. The city pulsed with the same energy that she had fallen in love with, the perfect environment to nurture the creativity that threatened to burst at the seams. She would sit for hours at the same outdoor cafe, snapping photographs of unsuspecting victims as they passed her by. Her mind would invent delectably tales to accompany each shot, weaving a history for each person as she predicted the happiness that the future would bring. Every person that walked passed her represented a miniature universe that she had been afford a glimpse into for one split second in time. She often wondered if these people were aware of her scrutiny, if they were aware of the profound impact even the slightest of encounters had on her life. Kaci had never felt more vibrant than when she had been in Paris, but even the fantasy had to end at some point or another. Her mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer, prompting her to return home to Virginia. After a particularly grueling battle with the disease, it appeared that Jessica had defeated the cancer and slipped into remission. The desire to spread her wings battled against the need to remain close to her mother, and she ultimately found an apartment in Washington D.C. with her mother’s blessing. It seemed like the logical choice, and the fact that her two best friends had relocated to the city had been the deciding factor. Reid and Fannie provided the comforts of home. She divided her time between her day job as a photographer at a studio, posing children for family portraits, and her passion for artistic photography; hence, she savored any spare time she had. While she was known to frequent the local bars, she never could resist an evening at home watching movies while Reid zoned off, his head as lost in the clouds as ever. She met with Fannie for lunch on a regular basis, but the pair had continued their tradition of writing letters to this day, even if it meant handing it to the recipient as she greeted her cheek with a kiss. Life seemed to be perfect for the brunette, but destiny had a devastating twist planned for her. With Jessica’s relapse in her battle with cancer, Kaci faced the most difficult battle of all - meeting the man who had given her life but never his love.