selena marie gomez.


dear selena marie,

WELL YOU WERE QUITE PUSHY IN MAKING ME GET TO THIS, so your reward is me working on this a little earlier than i planned. congrats, your persistence has paid off. now i know we're new buddies and everything but that doesn't mean i don't share a deeply-seated connection with you, especially now that we share middle names and everything. i would also like to give you 500 rounds of applause for taking the million jokes that come from mitchel's head in stride. sometimes, you even laugh. truly that is a miracle and i seriously do have to give you major props for that. do people still say 'props'? i don't know, i can't keep up with all of this stuff. anyway, the point is that you're super awesome and i feel like we should use this time to perhaps partake in some spanish tunes. i picked out 5 and i hope you enjoy the jams i have selected, even though neither of us can speak spanish which is a damn shame. P.S. CHECK OUT HOW JUSTIFIED THIS PAGE IS.

-lucas

lean like a cholo

i just picked this mainly because it has a dance and the video makes no sense. secretly i think i'm just hoping that we can remake it because you know the budget for this wasn't over $100 and at least half of that went to feeding whoever the lead singer is. ours would be way better because you can just sneak us into the wizards set after hours and bam, we have like double the number of sets these people had, because they clearly shot this in front of a green screen in someone's grandma's basement.

dreaming of you

to be honest, i know nothing about this song other than the fact that it was made by the OTHER selena who could actually speak spanish and everything. this is another video we should just redo because i have no idea what's going on in the real one. in ours, it would just be a bunch of shots of us standing on that dock from princess protection program, looking really contemplative about life. it would be really deep and emotional and we'd win a whole lot of awards and you could put them next to your teen choice awards and i could put mine next to the ones i have that don't exist.

spanish genie in a bottle or something

i didn't even know this existed but i knew as soon as christina said VAMANOS, VAMANOS in the intro that it was going to be an amazing ride. i was gonna suggest we reshoot this video too but there is no way we are ever finding pants as orange as christina's so we would lose on the wardrobe front right then and there. i don't know about you, selena marie, but i'm not willing to lose just that easily. even alex russo's wardrobe wouldn't save us here.

the dora theme song

i just put this on here for the video. SERIOUSLY, IS THIS NOT CREEPING YOU OUT? GOOD LORD.

YOU COUNTING

alright so spanish this is not, but you and i BOTH agreed on this being the best thing ever so i went ahead and included it. look at the ease with which you reach the number 8. it's not only amazing, it's inspiring to me and millions of other people around the world so i have to salute you. no, but really, this is ten kinds of awesome. look at you guys just chilling and whatever with a damn purple dinosaur by the pool like it ain't no thing. this is how everyone knew you were destined for greatness, selena marie, and let us down you have not.