fap

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 19:30:24 GMT

Note to self:

Never mix ice cream and pizza ever again. EVER.

Hi

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 05:31:05 GMT

This is my cat. His name his TIGER.

Hayes, 3.2

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 04:12:56 GMT

Everyone still kind of hates Gabrielle.

and Gabrielle still neglects her children. Nothing has changed. YEY.

Well except that Regis somehow acquired a random mullet.

What the fuck are you doing, Gabrielle?

Oh ho ho I think Camille's got herself a thing for the mullets. She likes the ~business in the front party in the back~ OH YEAH FAP

Regis: Ohhhhhh Godddd, when the hell did I get this mullet?
Camille: Oh I hope he doesn't realized I shaved his hair.

Camille: Awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeeeah mullet *fapfap*

Gabrielle: O SHIT I THINK I BROKE MY ARM
Dominic: SUCK IT UP DON'T BE A LITTLE BABY YOU NEED THICKER SKIN BITCH

Swiffer: I need water, I am half mop.
Dominic: GOD I AM SO TIRED OF BABIES AND WHINING GET AWAY.
Karina: lol horsey
Horse: You will be killed.

Of all the people to grow up in a business suit. Camille? Why.

Bahhhhhhhh I love you, Camille.

Oh, how sweet. What a great environment for children.

Camille: So one time I was talking to Jerome about music instruments..
Gabrielle: ...you've ignored me my entire life, why are you talking to me now?

Karina: I hate sculptures.
Gabrielle: WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME.

Karina: so i herd you got engaged
Gabrielle: STOP TALKING TO ME.

Camille: MY HEAD HURTS TOO MANY VOICES ARE TALKING TOO.MANY.VOICES.
Dominic: OW MY BACK.

~meant for each other y/n~

DOES NO ONE CARE ABOUT KARINA. SHE'S GOING TO HAVE SEVERE BRAIN DAMAGE.

Camille: why is the sky green lol

...because you are not looking out the window, Cam. You're staring at a wall.

This poor thing is going to have serious issues.

SERIOUS issues. :O

...and these issues can all be traced back to Camille, of course.

Karina: zZzZzZzZzZzZz...head...smells...like...feet...why...zZzZzZz

Gabrielle: I HATE MY MOM SHE NEVER BOUGHT ME A TEDDY BEAR

(I TOOK A BREAK WRITING THIS UPDATE TO EAT FRENCH TOAST IF IT IS STICKY I APOLOGIZE)

Swiffer: *neglected*

Gabrielle: There is NOTHING to do today. Wow.

EXCEPT ~DANCE~

Gabrielle, you are THE BEST PARENT EVER.

Gabrielle: HAY DOTTER HOW ARE U HOW WAS SCHOOL
Karina: FUCK. THIS. RADIO.

Swiffer and Gabrielle shy sim dance together. o.O

I guess Swiffer used the if you can't beat 'em join 'em method here.

Gabrielle: HAI FIANCE
Regis: whoawhoaWHOAWHOAWHOA I'M *ENGAGED*

Yah, and you're getting married, too.

You'd think Karina would be a little more happy for her parents. :|

Karina: This marriage is going to be a FUCKING TRAIN WRECK.

I think Karina was on to something there...

Oh well. This isn't even news anymore. It's like a daily occurrence.

Gabrielle: I hate my mother.

Karina: I hate my little brother.

Swiffer: FUCK YA'LL I JUST WANT SOME FOOD.

Karina: O GOD WE'RE THE SAME SIZE HALP

hay cutie patootie

You're not a REAL Swiffer Mop, buddy. You don't require soap.

I guess Gabby's choosing to ignore the fact that her family is fucktarded.

That's nice.

WHAT THE HELL DOES SWIFFER DO WHEN I'M NOT LOOKING. WAS IT THE CREEPY-LEVITATING-TODDLER DANCING?

That gave me nightmares, too :<.

Camille: Jerome, we barely hang out anymore.

Camille: IT'S YOUR FAULT.

Camille enjoys spending quality time with her gnome.

Camille: HEE-HAW

Karina: I can't believe I was sitting next to Ball of Stink, this is so embarrassing.
Ball of Stink: ...D:

Whoa simultaneous playing with toys. Except horses shouldn't fly, Swiffer.

I see what you did there, man maid.

Swiffer gets teased a lot, probably because his name is Swiffer :(

Swiffer didn't like that.

Manmaid: MAN I BENT MYSELF INTO SOME REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE POSITIONS AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE MANJUNK. WHAT THE SHIT.

Gabrielle and Regis totally raised a well adjusted child, don't you think?

Dominic: Wheeeeeen willllll myyyyyy reflectionnnnnnnnns shooooooow

Dominic: who I am inside

Gabrielle has probably forgotten a few things:

1. Everybody hates you.
2. Children do not necessarily enjoy hugging people who are in their undies.

Man, she's done this face so many times I'm surprised it hasn't gotten stuck like that.

I SPOKE TOO SOON.

Gabrielle: Hey Karina, life could be worse! I mean, everyone in the world could hate you and make booing sounds whenever they pass by or something!

Karina: ...I guess you're right.

This is the face you make when you realize that you tell your daughter about your crappy life to make her feel better. And it works.

OH COME ON WHO STOLE THEIR BED.

Swiffer: RGARAGARASJKASJAKSJ
Camille: *stands there*

Camille: HAY HAY WANNA FIGHT HUH HUH WANNA
Swiffer: Grandma I am NOT IN THE MOOD RIGHT NOW.

Man, I sympathize for Gabrielle. She has an incredibly shitty life. It's as if she can't do anything right. :(

*sigh*

Geez, Karina what's with the bitchface, your grandfather just hates himself ok.

Oh yeah, sweet. It's not like I bought you kids toys and stuff.

Karina: I feel at home here :D

I bet you do.

Gabrielle: RUN AWAAAAAAAAAY WITH ME, WINTHROP. TAKE ME TO NEW PLACES~

Don't you love how the children are just not even fazed by this anymore? :/

Invisible bed = the me being able to see what woohoo really looks like. :O

IS THAT A THUNDERBOLT.

Judging by that smile I assume the thunderbolt is a good thing?

Oh God hot sexiness this legacy needs to be XXX RATED

*fapfapfapfapfap*

Seeing what Gabby and Regis do in bed, it's a wonder why Gabrielle keeps running back to her weirdass moplover.

I guess she's just crazy.

Swiffer: Holy shitpants, mom is CRAZY.

Gabrielle: GOSH MOM STOP INTERACTING WITH ME IT'S /TOO/ /LATE/

Wow, Gabby you've gotten really good at booing people. I guess it's because everyone does it to you.

~oh burn~

Gabrielle: Heeeeeeeeeeeee life~

Karina: Heeeeeeee my stench~

Uhm. Hey, Goffix Elf Downtownie, long time no see?

Swiffer: OH MAN I HATE THE ELF GUY HE IS A NO GOOD NOBODY
Karina: lol jump.

what a little puss

Karina: TOYS 8D

YOU HAVE A TOYBOX PLAY WITH THAT FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

What the fuck? Gabrielle, you just ruined your only possible relationship. A+ Good on you.

Great impersonation. (She should be a vampire. Everyone runs away from anyway :()

Karina: hay mom wat are u writing about. i found a block in the trash today
Gabrielle: oshi-- I am writing about something that is...not about how much I hate you or anything..

My favorite thing about Camille is the deranged way she stares at arbitrary objects she pulls from the trash.

Gabrielle just can't catch a break, can she?

HOLYMOLY, how did she manage to do that. There may be a little drop of hope for her.

Or you know, not.

Gabrielle: YOUR BLACK AND RED TRACKSUIIIIIIIIIIIIIT IS BEAUTIFUUUUUL LIKE YOUR EEEEYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEESS
Regis: These are the words of a CHEATER. A CHEATER IN THE LOVE DEPARTMENT.

Poor Gabby :(

PS: LOL OH REGIS

I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS UPDATE SINCE 11:45AM. WHAT THE SHET.

Hayes, 3.1

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 04:12:03 GMT

Random Teenager who thinks he lives here is getting sick of Gabrielle's Mop PDA. Get a ROOM, Gabrielle. GOSH.

I need to find her a fuckbuddy, at the very least. SOON. Before she explodes.

So. The mother hating side of Gabrielle hasn't changed.

Gabrielle: I WAS LOST UNTIL I FOUND YOU. /LOST/ DO YOU HEAR ME? I COULDN'T ~FIND MYSELF~

I think this mop needs a name. He'll most likely make several appearances. Any suggestions?

It's no shock she's never been kissed, hur hur.

Gabrielle stands at the doorway, staring at some random teenager. Nope. Not creepy at all.

THIS IS NOT CREEPY OR FRIGHTENING OK!

Camille: OH GOD WHY ARE THERE SO MANY /PEOPLE/ HERE? MAKE THEM LEAVE.

Hating on random teenagers AND a crotch shot. You're just a bundle of normality.

Sending Gabrielle to a community lot with her...questionable mental stability, PROBABLY wasn't the best choice I've made.

What the h-e-double hockey sticks HAPPENED HERE.

Cry baby.

Making out with gross mops that smell like dirty water is the best way to get laid.

NO, REALLY. IT IS.

NOT THIS AGAIN GOD I HATE THIS SO MUCH WHY.

Nobody likes you, Gabrielle. Acting all smug and pretending you know what pool is just makes them hate you more.

...Well, she looks like a WHORE. A CHEAP ONE. (With clown make-up)

I guess Gabrielle doesn't care about personal space or any of that crazy stuff.

She does know she can go to jail for that, right? Then she'd have to tell everyone in her neighborhood about it. As if her reputation isn't terrible already. (She's a "dirty dirtbag" HAR.)

HAYCECELIALAROUX

Staring at the first guy you see without...blinking, that's kind of creepy, you know.

All peoples still hate her.

Every time I see this face on Gabrielle. I think about her future babies looking like THIS.

What the fuck is his problem. Poking people out of nowhere in the boobular area is SEXUAL HARASSMENT.

WELL WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK.

So. Gabrielle has a grand total of one positive relationship with a teenager. :|

STOP THAT.

Gabrielle's only friend who is a sporty teenager is...creepy.

No, dude. You high-fived her. You cannot hate her now. YOU ARE STUCK.

The first time Gabrielle ever heart farts someone it's an old man...practicing ballet.

A+ FIND GABRIELLE.

GABRIELLE LOVES TO DANCE.

No, Gabrielle. If this girl wants to brag about herself, YOU WILL LISTEN TO IT. YOU BARELY HAVE FRIENDS AND YOU'RE A ROMANCE SIM.

DO YOU WANT TO BE TONGUING THAT MOP FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?!

Making good first impressions, I see. (She really getting frisky there :O)

Gabrielle is one hardcore bitch playing hard core air harp. (Except not really)

She breaks her arm attempting to do the robot. Just stop, Gabby. It's not worth it. You're not a robot.

BreakDancer: OH LAWD SHE MAKES ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF.

BreakDancer: GOD I JUST HATE YOU. I HATE YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE TERRIBLE.

I was getting desperate and used the teleporter shrub to get a ton of males in the neighborhood there. Which resulted in a Gabby Hate Parade.

Gabrielle: *caresses her mop*
Dominic: :|

OH MAN THE GABBY HATE PARADE HAS A CONGO LINE. WAY AWESOME.

Wow, not one person likes her. I'd feel bad, but I know she loves her mop anyway.

OH MY GOD.

OH MY GOD

THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. I THINK I JUST CRIED.

Okay, so he tried to hit on her mom, but he's a HUMAN. AND NOT A MOP.

IT'S A MIRACLE.

ALRIGHT SO HER FATHER HATES HIM, BUT WHO CARES HE LIKES GABRIELLE.

NO NO NO NO MISTER. YOU MADE YOUR BED NOW LIE IN IT.

No take backs!

dothesmustle: *dies*

This picture would be stupidly romantic if Dominic and Camille weren't weirdasses.

My mouth, it is agape with wonderment. I thank the townie gun that brought Regis to me.

lol yes his name is Regis.

I apologize for the spam of heart farts, I just never though I'd see the day. *wipes a tear*

He's basically the new Gabby, though. Dominic makes his life hell, better it just being Dominic and not the entire population of Abordale.

wat

We see you approving of this fight, Gabrielle. I knew there was a tiny hint of sadism in you.

Camille, that's your DAUGHTER.

I guess I shouldn't expect any less of her, though.

Oh Geez, figures this is the only type of guy that would like Gabrielle. You know...one that goes through your trash and eats it.

Regis: HAY REMEMBER WHEN I PUT MY WINGWONG INTO YOUR BAJINGO.

That is probably the last toilet I'd ever want to throw up in.

ps: babby is formed. gabby get pragnant.

Gabrielle: HAY GOOD JOB AT PUTTING YOUR WINGWONG INTO MY BAJINGO.

Gabrielle: MOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOM WHAT ARE YOU /DOING/

Gabrielle had a really rough pregnancy and staring at these butterflies made her shut up. I am not sure why.

Gabrielle: I HATE YOU AND I AM A BETTER CHILD AND I ALWAYS WILL BE.

~*~-->GENERATION3<--~*~

(No one was there to witness it. Typical Gabrielle moment. :-/)

It was a girl, Karina. She was placed on the cold floor until Camille of all people came to pick her up.

Except Camille just put her in a corner in the hallway. Where Karina lies in her own filth.

Also Dominic and Camille got married, because apparently the never did. I pay good attention to my sims, what you talkin' about?!

Regis is a useless parent. Just like the rest of them.

Karina is still in the corner. Crying, hungry, and probably has a REALLY bad case of diaper rash.

Gabrielle would much rather make pancakes than acknowledge her daughter.

How sweet.

The poor baby was there for HOURS until Regis picked her up.

Gabby would rather dance instead. SCREW BABIES SHE HAS MOVES.

...then put her back on the floor. You know, guys. You're supposed to feed the bottle to the infant. Not throw a bottle next to them.

You'd think after the hell Gabrielle went through she'd be a better parent.

Also Dominic got OLD.

Karina grew up into a terrible dressed toddler.

(Why does that outfit exist. D:)

You're in too deep now, Regis. JUST BASK IN THE CRAZY.

Here's Karina when she's not in a pink tuxedo. She's cute.

This was probably not my BEST idea.

Not my best idea at all. Oh well, you aren't truly a Hayes unless the sim shrink has visited more than once.

I should have done an asylum challenge instead. Seriously.

HOLY MOLY WHEN I SEE A GUY SHAKE HANDS WITH HIS IMAGINARY FRIENDS I AM JUST SO TURNED ON.

Believe me, Karina, you'd much rather stay in that crib. You do not want to see half the things going on everywhere else.

OH GOD GABRIELLE STOP DOING THAT IT'S INCREDIBLY FRIGHTENING.

It gives ME nightmares. :<.

Karina: NONONONONONO DON'T PUT ME BACK IN THIS JAILLLLLL D:

I am dying on the inside here. Slowly, but surely, dying on the inside.

She might be a bit of a brat, but Karina's cute.

Really cute.

..but she's still a brat.

Gabrielle, you're giving CAMILLE a run for her money. For serious.

I don't think Camille likes that very much either.

The sim shrink is HER best friend. Camille is HIS most frequent member.

Look who's back! And look at who's incredibly displeased. Poor Karina. This is like generation two all over again.

Woo baby tiems number TWO. AND PEOPLE ARE HERE TO CHEER HER BIRTHINGS ON.

It's a boy, named Swiffer. As a tribute to Gabrielle's mop lover.

He got a pretty good introduction to the world, don't you think?

~family bonding~

Seriously, Cam? You're not one to talk. I think we've went over this.

CAMILLE YOU ARE NOT ABOVE THIS. YOU HAD YOUR FAIR SHARE OF MENTAL BREAKDOWNS YOU HAVE NOT RIGHT.

OH FUCKBALLS. Are you shitting me? Why do the always do this in the kids' room?

It's like they WANT to scare them for life.

This really explains why he found Gabrielle so attractive. They're truly meant for each other.

If it weren't for Dominic, I'm sure the social worker would have been here by now.

Regis: FUCK THESE PANCAKES.

As a desperate attempt to get some aspiration points for Gabrielle I set her up on a blind date.

It doesn't go very well.

I also love how she chooses her daughter's bedroom of all places to pursue the guy. Classy woman.

Karina: MOMMY PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE YOU I WANT FRIENDS.
Gabrielle: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Karina: I'm a big girl now! But Mom still don't take any notice from me! I hate her! I hate everything, maybe she notice me in a differend outfit ? !

Gabrielle is just as bad as a mother as Camille. :/

Dumbasses.

Regis dies of starvation, because he'd much rather slap the air with fish.

I wouldn't care about this much, but he died right next to his child. D:

So Gabby pleads for his life because I AM NOT doing a husband search for her ever again.

EVER. (She saves his life.)

Gabby: Auuuuuuugh, when did I have this one? :(

Shit, she NEVER gives her children attention. These children are going to be screwed up.

MORE BIRTHDAYS ALSO.

This is Swiffer.

This is Karina.

Who spent so much of her toddler-life lying in her own filth, that she grew accustomed to the smell and enjoys it.

Great. :|

MOAR BIG UPDATE 8D

Hayes, 2.5

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 04:11:03 GMT

IT'S BEEN AWHILE, Y/N. Well here they are, with MOAR CRAZY, MOAR FIGHT, AND NO SAIX.

Crying and cleaning gross toilets...YES THESE ARE THE BEST YEARS OF YOUR LIFE.

Malcolm: I'm so glad I went to college WHERE ELSE COULD I FIND A LLAMA BREATHING DOWN MY NECK. WHAT AN EXPERIENCE.

Olive: GOD WHO THE FUCK ATE THIS BOWL OF CEREAL WHO WOULD EAT THIS NOT ME I BET >:(

Gabrielle's social skills are to die for. You'd be one popular bitch if you were Gabrielle.

(not rly)

Yannoooo, I think it's her mastery of facial expressions that is making her so cool.

Keep on creeping on the Cafeteria Worker, Gabrielle. It's... practice?

OYAH I BROUGHT JEROME WITH THEM AND EVERYONE ALWAYS STEALS HIM.

All the peoples hate Gabrielle. Especially this dude.

SERIOUSLY CAN'T IMAGINE WHY.

~rocking out with tha butterfliiiiiies~

Gabrielle: AW FUCK YOU SITTING THERE LIKE THAT I HATE YOU, YOU ASS.

*insert cheesy sarcastic metaphor about love here*

I do not even know why this generation hates each other so much. Every time I turn around there's some random fight going on.

Laughing evilly while thinking about good report card grades is SO HARDCORE.

Malcolm: ):<
Gabrielle: D:<
Olive: :D

So we attempt to get Gabrielle some loving, but clearly it is impossible, because EVERYONE BOOS HER OR WHATEVER THE HELL THAT IS.

I don't get it.

JUST SO YOU KNOW. Gabrielle moonlights as a special snowflake.

I think almost every interraction Gabrielle takes part in her facial expression stays intact. "D:"

WHAT THE FUCK DID GABRIELLE DO WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT HER?

Seriously, everyone hates her for some reason.

There's really no use in discussing peace with anyone, bb.

Malcolm: GODDAMN I HATE THIS BITCH FOR SOME REASON.
Gabrielle: :O

...what the fuck are you doing, Malcolm?

~H8ER~

Olive enjoys staring down Gabrielle.

Often. I think Olive is the only person who...doesn't irrationally dislike the poor girl.

EVERY. FIVE. SECONDS. WHY ARE MY SIMS SO ANGRY. WHAT DID I EVER DO.

So I sent them to a community lot~

Yes, Noah, you're bad ass mofo...and Gabby, that's a FOUNTAIN not a poster.

Gabrielle's O-face?

Olive continues to stare down people like the creeper she is.

ANGRY BASS PLAYING WOO

Olive: I HATE YOU I AM NOT TIPPING YOU.

Olive: BUT I WILL TIP YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, MALCOLM~ :D

There was no room for her in the family band, so she ended up practicing the drums...by herself.

:-/

HOLY CHEESUS THIS IS GETTING OLD GUYS. SERIOUSLY.

Noah: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH FIGHT I LOVE FIGHT. BEAT EACH OTHER TO FUCKING PULPS SAJKSH
Olive: BAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Noah: GEEZ STOP CRYING ALL OVER THE PLACEJSJSDHSJ

So Gabrielle takes her anger out on Jerome. Poor gnomey. :(

The college experience has just gotten her angrier, probably due to the fact that she HASN'T GOT LAID YET.

Gabby: BITCH STOP TRYING TO STEAL JEROME HE'S NOT THAT GREAT. WHAT ABOUT ME WHY DOESN'T ANYONE CARE ABOUT ME. I HATE YOU JEROME.

Shit, Jerome has been stolen as many times as Gabrielle has been rejected.

(and that's a lot)

Seems like you perfected your super scowlz, Gab.

GOD SHE CAN'T EVEN ATTRACT MEN OF OTHER ~SPECIES~

Gabrielle can only attract sponge-like cleaning equipment, apparently.

What is with this family and the whole "getting along with inanimate objects" thing. :/

She's looking pretty damn elated. YOU BEEN DOIN' MUCH FRISKIER ...PERHAPS /SEXCASUAL/ THINGS WITH THAT SPONGE-MOP, GABRIELLE.

Why is Clever and Sneaky Cow Mascot sad? :(

Geez, Alma, way to be a bitch and make a sad, lonely girl who makes out with mops cry.

Yah, you can totally EMOTE, girrrrrrl. I get it.

Noah: AW YOU BITCH WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ON A SPORTS WEBSITE WHEN YOU'RE RESEARCHING FUCKING DRUMS.

HAISHYSIMDANCINGILU~

I think what amuses me the most is how completely unfazed Noah is. I mean, his sister is shoving her tongue down a most likely poked-through hole in a fucking paper plate, shitdamn.

THAT PAPER PLATE MUST BE A REALLY GOOD LOVER OR YANNO LACED WITH WHATEVER CAMILLE TAKES.

TICKLING IS FOR BITCHES.

Noah: HAAAAAAAAY GUYS HOW'S EVERYTHING~ 8D

Repressing this shit isn't very good for you, just so you know...

Gabrielle: WAT DO YOU MEAN OUR RELATIONSHIP ISN'T HEALTHY? NO WE ARE IN LOVE THE GOVMENT JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND D8

GODDAMN, NOAH. TICKING IS FOR BITCHES

What the fuck is your problem, dude? (I CHECKED HER STATS SHE WASN'T SMELLY OR ANYTHING.)

Malcolm: I think I need moar therapy now :(

Gabby: HAY CHEER-UP, I MEAN YOU *COULD* HAVE SOMEONE'S ARM LODGED THROUGH YOUR NECK 8D I AM SURPRISED I AM NOT DEAD OR ANYTHING 8D

She was romancing that poor mop from day to night. I don't know whether I should pity her...or if I should pity the mop.

He obviously has feelings, too.

Yehp. This is what happens when Camille Hayes reproduced. :D

HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR THESE DORMIES TO FIND LOVE WITHOUT MY CONTROL, BUT WHEN I TRY WITH MY ACTUAL SIMS ALL I GET IS RANDOMLY ANGERED SIMS.

I really do enjoy the way Noah just completely ignores the madness that is spewing.

Except he just holds it all in until he can't take it anymore and he just cries and cries and cries.

WAY TO BE SUPER SENSITIVE, MALCOLM.

(ps Gabrielle good job and somehow managing to showcase your stupidity in almost every shot true talents)

THEY WERE FIGHTING SO MUCH THEY ALMOST MISSED THEIR FINALS. D<

This is the best way to celebrate your college graduation amirite or amirite?

Gabrielle is a ~drop of sunshine on a rainy day~

Really, now. Why did everyone choose to let out their emotions in a circle around her?

Weirdos.

He's not even talking to the face. :|

SCREW THE MATCHMAKER SHE HAS A ~~COLD AND SMELLY~~ HOT PIECE OF MOP FOR HER TO LOVE.

Holy crap, we get it, the thought of Gabrielle makes you think of spoiled cottage cheese. No need to rub it in her face, you jerk.

Why nobody lieks her?

So you guys...do you think mops can help form the babbies?

WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE HER. SHE NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG.

God, even SHE'S losing hope in ~naturally~ finding love.

NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION, BITCH.

Are. You. Kidding. Me.

(Even the crusty gym teacher isn't interested.)

Then they all graduated and there was no party, because I wanted to get uni OVER WITH.

Why the hell is there a school bus parked in front of the house?

...wat

YOU DON'T LIVE HERE, JONATHAN. GTFO.

PS: GABRIELLE IS HEIRESS, IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW.

What the flying fuck whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

It's okay, bb. We'll find someone. WE ALWAYS DO. DON'T LOSE HOPE.

dj48rudisjfkdjksdfj9-54ufjkdsjfkdsfjdkfjfjkdkfjpjd034

It's really depressing, you know. This is the only action she's ever gotten.

This is a mop. A MOP. Poor, poor Gabby.

GOD CAMILLE WHO ARE YOU TO TALK. REALLY. YOU HAVE FULFILLING CONVERSATIONS WITH LAWN GNOMES.

She can't even capture an angsty teenage boy's attention. He doesn't care for her magix jokes.

HOW DOES A SIM TELL A BAD JOKE. REALLY, HOW.

wtf you doin' Camille?

Damn, this is really pathetic.

I think she's going to finally snap.

...or you know, just emo summore. It's okay, girl ~just let it out~

The most important question is. Will generation three be birthed with the help of a dirty old sponge mop? D:

Hayes, 2.4

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 04:10:19 GMT

So I come back and realize Camille pulled a Britney on me.

Gabrielle: GOD I HATE YOU JEROME WHY DOES MY MOM LOVE YOU MORE THAN MEEEEEE?!

The crazy is definitely alive in you, Gabrielle.

Gabrielle: LOLOL IS THE LIGHT ON, NOW IT IS, IS IT ON WHEN I CLOSE IT?! LOLOL IS ITTT?

Yeahp, Camille is still...well Camille, just...bald.

Honestly, I do not think that's going to happen, Cam.

ZOMBIENoah: IIIIIII HAAAAAAAAAAAATE REFRIIIIIIIIGERAAAAAAAATOOOOOOOORSSSSSSS.

Gabrielle still enjoys talking shit about everyone she knows.

Malcolm is looking super tough and hardcore in those pink, bears-holding-onto-balloons pajamas. Be scared.

Meanwhile, Gabrielle is still having fun with the refrigerator.

WHAT DID THE TRASHCAN EVER DO TO YOU?! IT SUPPLIES YOU OF YOUR MEALS, ACTUALLY.

Olive: HEH HEH HEH I AM GOING TO KNOCK THIS OVER SO NOAH CAN'T THROW OUT HIS CAN OF SODA.
Noah: I can't wait to throw out this can of sod-----AWWWW YOU BITCH.

I think she's trying to seduce one of her 485457 imaginary friends.

Camille: OH HAHAHAHA THIS MAKEOVER IS JUST HILARIOUS

Camille: HA HA HA HA

Well, aren't you a tricky one, Olive.

It's no surprise that they're playing outside in the snow...without any outerwear on.

GOOD JOB, DOMINIC AND CAMILLE. NO REALLY.

GABBY DOES SHY SIM DANCING. ILOVEIIIIIIIIIIT.

(Also, as you can see, Camille has upgraded from talking to paper cups to just WORRYING about talking to paper cups. Gold star, Cam!)

Then Gabrielle's random scowl comes in. She isn't even angry with anyone, she just randomly scowls.

Gabrielle: STOP WORRYING AND WATCH ME DANCE CUTELY.

Gabrielle: SHE WILL NEVER PAY ATTENTION TO ME. *SCOWL*

Okay, then. I am a little worried about this.

SHUT UP GUYS, HER GNOME ATE HER HOMEWORK, OK?!

Geez, it really got to her. She woke up from her dreamz to ~cry~

Dominic: HEE HEE HEE PMS!

Gabrielle: I knocked down the trashcan, but I still feel empty. 8|

This bed is like Gabrielle's grade, it is ~inadequate~

The triplets grew up, but...uhm. I can tell SOMEONE else has taken notice. Someone kind of...creepy.

HAI THERE CREEPY GUY. WHY YOU LOOKING THROUGH MY SIM'S WINDOWS?

NOAH THINKS MOMS ARE NO FUN!!!!!!!!!

Noah: I HATE DEFECATING IN YOU.

Noah rolled Pleasure with the lifetime want of becoming a professional party guest.

...Olive?

Olive rolled Pleasure with the lifetime want of having 50 first dates.

Olive: OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT FUNNY THING OVER THERE HAHAHAHA!
Dominic: ...okay...Ooh! Pretty Woman is on Lifetime!

Camille raised Olive well, I see.

Olivie: OH MAN NOW LOOK AT /THAT/ FUNNY THING HAHAHAHA.
Dominic: This is not Pretty Woman. Lifetime lies. I hate this television network! :(

Here's Malcolm, by the way. Still...irrationally angry. He rolled Knowledge with the lifetime want of becoming a Media Magnate.

Dominic: HAY GRATZ ON BEING FORMED AND NOT BEING KILLED BY INSTAIN MOTHER!

Malcolm: WAY AWESOME. So do you want to play a game or something?!
Dominic: No, no, nononononono.

OH YEAH YOU'RE SO BAD WITH THAT LEATHER JACKET.

You totally have a sweater vest outfit on under that.

WHY IS THIS SO CUTE. WHY.

Malcolm: I CAN DO MATH REALLY FAST /IN/ /MY/ /HEAD/ OH YEEEEEEAH. STICK IT TO THE MAN.

Olive is just following in the footsteps of her mother.

Malcolm: I LOVE CORN FLAKES!!!!!!!
Olive: HEEEEEEEEY THAT CEREAL LOOKS COOL.
Gabrielle: THE CEREAL TASTES LIKE SHIT.

Gabrielle is still being a gnome hater. I mean she does this AT LEAST once a day. She has serious mommy issues.

Olive: WHY DOES SHE EXIST?!

Olive: WHYYYYYYYYYYY?!

Gabrielle: TO MAKE YOUR LIFE...

Gabrielle: A LIVING HELL.

Oh yeah, Gabrielle, you're going to just lure everyone in with your romantic scowl. Nothing is hotter than blind hatred.

Points for...trying...to be rebellious? I mean, you're not supposed to pick the garbage can right up after kicking it to the ground...but whatever tickles your pickle.

I think they all have deep, deep mommy issues. Just a thought.

Looks like that hardcore-high-fiving old man fetish is still alive in Camille.

EXCEPT THIS IS AN OCTOGENARIAN YOU DO NOT WANT TO CASUALLY DANCE WITH.

In other news, one the kids brought a hooker home from school.

Camille: ;____; AND LET ME TELL YOU REY MYSTEREO HE HURT MY FEELINGS. HE REALLY DID.

This old dude is such a douche.

WHY IS EVERYONE CRYING?!

Really? What the hell happened that turned them all into ~emos~ Noah can't even properly express his anger towards bathroom objects.

Noah: I HATE YOUR FACE.
Gabrielle: *wonders if the refrigerator light is on at this very moment*

Wow, they went from upset and crying to angry and..angry quite fast.

OldManThatIsADouche: HAY WHERE AM I?! HOW DID I GET HERE?! WHERE IS MY MALTED MILK?!

The Hayes are still subjected to eating from the fine delicacies of ~La Basura~

Yehp, still lots of crappy parenting. Moving on!

...why did I put the couch outside?

HOLY SHIT GODDAMN IT IS SO CREEPY. NOW I KNOW WHERE GABRIELLE GETS IT FROM.

We all hate douchey old men. We hate them with the intensity of 1000 suns.

OH GOD IT'S SO SCARY WHY IS SHE DOING THIS? (WHY IS THE COUCH STILL OUTSIDE?)

Now it all makes sense. She was on Jerome-Watch. It didn't really help much, anyway. Camille can't do anything right.

Camille is Camille and steals Jerome back in a short time.

Camille: I HATE THE STUPID OLD MAN WHO TOOK YOU FROM ME, JEROME. :D :D

Having a chat with Jerome quickly cheers Camille up. He must be some kind of conversationalist in her mind.

What an...awkward fight.

GABRIELLE WHY ARE CUTELY SHY SIM DANCING IN YOUR OUTERWEAR IN THE MIDDLE OF AN AWKWARD BROTHER FIGHT?

Olive: *I* grew up well, you know.
Gabrielle: THAT'S NOT FAIR I DIDN'T GROW UP WELL.
Camille's Head: Haiiiiiiiiii.

Noah: I HATE MYSELF I AM SUCH A FUCKING LOSER SKDJSDSFH. D:<

Noah: I HATE MY SAIXY BODY SO MUCH. D:<

Noah: HOLY CRAP A PIMPLE I MUST LOOK AWAY.

Gabrielle hates herself while looking into mirrors, too.

Gabrielle: IS THAT A FUCKING PIMPLE OOOH I AM GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE PIMPLE.
Gabrielle's Acne: *disappears(butnotreally)*

Gabrielle: I HAVE PIMPLES AND IT'S /YOUR/ FAULT. YOU STRESS ME OUT.
Malcolm: ...wut.

GNOME RAGE!!

Malcolm: WHY ARE YOU INVESTING YOUR HATRED INTO A GNOME? WE HAVE A DOUCHEBAG BROTHER TO HATE ON, TOO.

Gabrielle: :( but you don't UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAND.

Camille: OH GOD I CAN'T LET DIARY KNOW I AM WRITING IN MY DIARY!

~Woo first Camille crotch shot of the update~

Angry old man is back. For some ODD reason. GTFO.

Gabrielle: BAWWWWWWW I HATE MY MOM BUT I HATE WHEN OLD MEN PICK ON HER.

Olive: THIS HAS TO BE NOAH'S FAULT. THAT ASSHOLE. ;_____;

Gabrielle and Olive are sensitive snowflakes.

All the angry old guy does is poke Camille in the boob. FILE SEXUAL HARASSMENT CHARGES.

Gabrielle: CRYYYYYY THIS HURTS ME SO MUCH I HAVE TO LEAVE MY HOUSE ;__;

Olive you seem truly upset for your mother. You really do.

Oh and you were definitely sincerely upset for your mother, too, Gabrielle. Giving high-fives to the guy who causes this ~sadness~ is just her way of ~payback~

Why do they look so ANGRY? I mean, they're CRYING. Their faces should be ":(" not "D:<"

I guess they're just angry-criers.

Oh, Camille, what the fuck did you just do?

It's an ANGER party! Woooo!

Gabrielle is quite upset with the father-son hugging situation going on here.

Gabrielle: I AM THE TICKLE MONSTER!
Dominic: PLEASE GET AWAY FROM ME. :[

No one wants to hear about your milkshake, Olive. This is serious fucking business. So serious, that even *I* don't know why it's so serious.

Olive: CONGRATS ON BANGING MOM.
Gabrielle: I bet Malcolm is having sex *right* *now* D:

Olive: Ooh, a LIGHTER. Imagine the ADVENTURES I CAN GO ON WITH A LIGHTER. 8D

More uncomfortable looking fights. WHY IS THAT OLD MAN HERE AGAIN? Go back to the Springfield Retirement Castle. WHERE YOU BELONG.

It's how the communicate.

It's the ANGRY version of "kiss, kiss, darling."

Olive: What the fuck is GOING ON HERE?

I really don't know, Olive, but I think you're going to be nymphomaniac or someshit.

...It looks like Dominic really enjoyed seeing the Therapist...

AND ON TO UNI!

The second we get to uni, Malcolm gets pseudo-choked by Alma.

Here's Olive!

Malcolm!

Noah!

...and of course, Gabrielle!

They have a zombie cheerleader.

Which scares the piss out of Gabrielle, apparently.

Gabrielle: SHE'S GOING TO EAT OUR BRAINS OR SOMETHING. D:

She probably DOES eat brains to keep that fresh, rotten skintone of hers ~vibrant~

Hayes, 2.3

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 04:09:14 GMT

WHEN DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN? It took her a SIM WEEK to get better last time. D:

Dominic tries to interact with his children for once.

Malcolm: I KNOW WHERE YOU I'M NOT A FUCKING IDIOT. GRAAAAAAAH.

How is this my problem? The child is a LONER.

I see you skunk, don't get any weird skunk-like ideas.

Malcolm had a birthday THAT HE WILL NEVER FORGET. IT WAS SO HORRIBLE. HE *PEED* ON HIMSELF.

Even Camille is upset for him.

Malcolm: You bitch why didn't you potty train meeeeeeee? :(

Camille tries to lecture Malcolm, but he ignores. 'cause seriously, who is SHE to talk?

Camille has not run out of her CrazyFace Pills yet.

aaaaaaaaaand Malcolm randomly attacks Olive. FUN.

Where are the parents?

Camille and Dominic for parents of the year. DAMN.

I'm sure you're proud of that drunken stance of yours, Olive.

Camille: :D :D :D
Olive: D:< D:< D:<

Malcolm has birthday issues now.

Malcolm: BAWWWWWWW I MAKE PEE PEE ON MY BIRTHDAY
Noah: TALK TO THE HAND, BECAUSE YOU DON'T ~UNDERSTAND~

Gabrielle enjoys standing uncomfortably close to some random townie's crotch area.

Gabrielle: Dear Diary, I HATE GNOMES SO MUCH I HATE THEM I HOPE THEY DIE. :O

Gabrielle: I wish we could afford a big TV...

Gabrielle: Fuck, I wish we could afford a damn teddy bear.

Kids in general shouldn't be allowed to hold knives, but Gabrielle SHOULD NOT BE AROUND KNIVES AT ALL. AT ALL.

I'm pretty sure Malcolm gets picked last during dodge ball.

Olive: I WANT TO END MY LIFE ALREADY RAAAAAAAAAAH.

Emos.

I figured I should probably show you how the triplets look without scowls.

Noah!

Olive!

Malcolm. Okay 2/3 of them DON'T HAVE SCOWLS.

Camille: Do you feel sad, Gabrielle? You know..when I feel sad I bend down on my knee like this and I talk to my good friend Jerome.

Gabrielle: That's the worst advice I've heard, mom. *minus, minus*

She looks like she's about snap. Again. For the 48574857th time.

After that woman to woman talk Camille had with Gabby, Gabby rolls this want.

Excellent work, Camille. Excellent work.

Camille and Dominic provide a wonderful environment for their children.

Is this what tormenting is? Gabby just stared at Olive complaining.

Functional children.

Olive: Mom, can you gtfo. I don't feel comfortable peeing with you here..smiling like that.
Camille: :D :D :D

In this family, the children play in trashcans for fun!

They also sleep standing up, because that's what the cool kids do.

Meanwhile Camille is still stupid. WHY ARE YOU JUMP ROPING?

She still has nightmares about meeting random people.

Floaty Boy: OHAI WHY ARE WE ALL IN OUR SWIMSUITS?! WHERE IS THE POOL"
Dominic: :|

I should be concerned that Olive is having nightmares about the Butler.

IS EVERY CHILD HERE HAVING NIGHTMARES?

Catching fire flies in broad daylight? That's..very special, Malcolm.

Camille stop wasting food by stuffing your face when there is salad RIGHT NEXT TO YOU.

Camille crotch shot #485748

God, Camille, no one buys your "IMMA A GUD MAMA NOW" shit. Stop.

Camille: Hi Malcolm. I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOU.
Malcolm: GO TALK TO YOUR STUPID GNOME, NO ONE LIKES YOU, MOM.

Camille attempting to be motherly is casing a DISTURBANCE IN THE FORCE.

SERIOUSLY CAMILLE. STOP THIS.

Camille Crotch Shot #385785498

Olive: PEW PEW PEW I AM SHOOTING YOU.
Gabrielle: QUIT THIS SHIT, BITCH.

Okay so THIS is what tormenting is. Okay the first time I saw it, I jumped 376 feet back. IT SURPRISED ME OKAY?!

Olive: You bitch I ALMOST CRAPPED MY PANTS.

Olive: Bitch, I don't LIKE you?

Gabrielle: O SHIT GOTTA GO.

THIS ALL HAPPENED IN THE SAME ROOM. YOU ARE TURRIBLE PARENTS.

Gabrielle really enjoys talking shit about people in that book.

THE BURN BOOK: GABRIELLE STARTED THAT SHIT. Y/N

Olive: ~I HATE YOU YOU'RE SUCH A DICK~
Noah: Yeah? Well my odd profile and I hate you too.

My girls is ~emotional~

Just...stop Camille. You're making it WORSE.

Olive: I AM STD MONSTER I COME FOR YOUR BAJINGO RARRRRRR.

Camille sees what you did there. She sees. She hides behind your refrigerators.

DAMN, CAMILLE. STOP FLASHING YOUR HOO-HA AT THE VIEWERS.

Uh...at least she enjoys ~self help~

Everyone is sick of Olive's bitching.

Gabrielle grew up, got something shoved up your butt, bb?

She rolled Romance: Become Celebrity Chef

The first thing she does as a teenager? Kick the shit out of Jerome.

That's some serious gnome hate right there.

I just...they're so...USELESS.

Dominic: teehee VAGINA ++

Yeah. They still eat of the trash.

That's the scariest shit I've ever seen. CLOSE YOUR EYES, PLEASE.

This is Gabrielle learning about ~anger management~

Geez, cheer up.

LOL WTF. Are they threatening a 10 year old?

First: WTF Camille that's not how you use a door.

Second: Pillow fights, you're doing it wrong.

Seriously, who the fuck pissed you off?

Gabrielle: HAI, I'M HUNGRY GET ME SOME DINNER, CHIVES.

Gabrielle: I'LL SHOOT YOU BITCHES WITH MY FINGER GUNS.

Gabrielle: I HATE CHILDRENS.

I truly find it sad as hell that this wolf shows more concern for the children than their ACTUAL PARENTS.

YOU ARE THE WORST PARENTS. EVER.

News Flash: Everyone hates Olive.

These poor, poor children. Look at that face.

That's nothing short of incredibly creepy and weird.

Gabrielle: Dear Diary, I hate Chives the Butler. He totally didn't make me food last night. He's probably some creepy pedophile.

Gabrielle: OMGAW HE WAS TOTALLY TRYING TO TOUCH MY *BUTT*

Homegirl has some weird obsession with the elderly men. (SHE GETS IT FROM CAMILLE, OF COURSE.)

AND SHE GETS THE STUPID DIARY OBSESSION FOR MISTER :| HIMSELF.

Every time she does this I feel likes she's trying to choke them or something. She'd probably do that.

I guess if she were going to choke someone it would be Jerome.

She really hates him.

Hayes, 2.2

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 04:08:22 GMT

Oh, lovely. We begin the update with a game of where are the parents and why the fuck is this child outside?

Dominic: Anything seem off to you, Camille..?

Camille: NO NOT AT ALL :D

O RLY?!!?

Dominic congratulates Camille on pissing herself, 'cause I guess that's an accomplishment if you're Camille.

Dominic: Moneeeeeeeeeeey I NEED SOME MAH BABIES ARE STARVING
Camille: AW HELL NAW WHAT IS THIS SHIT

Isn't sad that they're broke as all hell, but have a butler? I don't even know how they're going to pay for it.

WOLF: Dude...your kid is passed out ...on the floor...you should...you should probably do something.
Dominic: :|

Honestly, they're so broke they probably did tell their little ones to go play in traffic for fun. They're not very bright, IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW.

What the shit, brushing your teeth =/= SHOWERING. PLEASE STOP THIS.

Camille would still rather speak to inanimate objects rather than you know...her family...real people.

You can already tell Dominic is getting fed up of this shit.

Gabrielle grows up..badly. Hell, I should be glad she hasn't been taken away from the social worker yet.

Gabrielle: I HATE THIS SHIT.

Gabrielle: NO REALLY I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT.

Yay, another sim with a personality disorder. BITCH YOU HAVE 8 NICE POINTS, USE THEM.

Gabrielle: DAD YOU SMELL LIKE SHIT. YOU SMELL SO BAD MY ARM NOW GROWS OUT OF MY NECK. THAT'S HOW BAD YOU SMELL.

She's actually pretty damn adorable.

ALSO THE TODDLERS GREW UP TOO~

Malcolm!

Noah!

Olive!

Yes, Camille, your baby hates you. All of them do, you're a terrible parent.

DON'T PICK UP HABITS FROM YOUR MOTHER, OLIVE. PLEASE. DO NOT.

Dominic: LISTEN YOU FUCKERS, MY CHILDREN ARE STARVING GIVE ME SOME MONEY.

Camille is turned off by the butler. I guess her old man fetish is done with?

Camille: You know, paper cup, I hear constant bitching ALL THE TIME, I do not know where it comes from. DO YOU THINK I AM HEARING THINGS? COULD I BE CRAZY?
Malcolm: Are you kidding me? Is this bitch serious?

Dominic and Camille both have a distinct hatred for Gabrielle. Their daughter.

HOW DID YOU GET TO BE SUCH GOOD PARENTS, YOU GUYS?!

Gabrielle: I hate this place. I hate it so much. I HATE IT MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS DAMN WORLDDDDDDDDDDD.

The sim therapist comes here every two hours and he has not called the social worker once. I AM BEGINNING TO QUESTION HIS WAYS.

Pirate: HAY I HAD SEX WITH YOUR GIRL~
Dominic: :|

OH MY FUCKING GOD LEAVE THAT GNOME ALONE.

Gabrielle: HAI WANNA SPIN ME AROUND?
Pirate: Heh heh heh, if I'm going to jail, it'll be because I'm a lame ass pirate who steals random shit not pedophilia!!!!!!

Gabrielle: I hate my liiiiiiiiiife.

Gabrielle: OH NO MY DUMBASS PARENTS CAUSED THIS. ;___;

Pirate: HAI REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT JAIL WELL I WAS TOTALLY LY--
Gabrielle: STFU

Gabrielle: FUCK DA POLICE.

Gabrielle: Sneakers suck, too.

Someone get her a muzzle. She's learning how to make her crazy face.

...

It looks like Camille's crazy face, but...angrier.

Gabrielle: I AM NOT LIKE MY MOM. NEVER SAY THAT YOU BITCH.

Way to go and be a creepy pedophile-like pirate now, Pirate.

Gabrielle: Get this motherfucker out of my bathroom. FUCK HIMMMM.

Do you see that look on Gabrielle's face? Leave the poor girl alone, Pirate.

Excellent priorities are had by Camille Hayes.

Gabrielle ruins the sexy mood that Camille probably worked all day to set.

It's not what it looks like. She has food poisoning. I guess sex with pirates interrupts with your digestive system so that it...idk.

Washing your hands after boinking Camille? ...

Butler: I GET TO CLEAN THOSE FLUID INFESTED SHEETS YAY~

Also, the children are still passed out in the bathroom. Nice.

I REALLY DO LOVE THIS GIRL, THOUGH.

Pirate: *fapfapfapfapfapfapfap*
Camille: I have to clean this plate *sulks*

So he stole the shower, it's not like they even used it. WHY SHOWER WHEN YOU HAVE A TOOTHBRUSH!?

Oh shuttup, Camille. You never even willingly used the shower. You'd rather take a spongebath or just walk around smelling like urine.

Oh my...they're really dirt broke right now. Their only form of entertainment is looking out of a window. This is getting really upsetting.

Noah: MOM READ ME A BOOK PL0X PL0X?
Camille: BUT I SAID NO.

Noah: I'M SO BORED I HATE MY LIFE. *BEST FRIENDS WITH CAMILLE*

Noah: MOM CHANGE MY DIAPER PLEEEEEEEASE.
Camille: NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Noah: *MINUSSSSSSS* *SIGH*

Good Lord. They're eating out of the trash, too. Why don't welfare checks exist in the sim world?

Gabrielle: Dear Diary: I FUCKING HATE MY MOM I HATE GNOMES TOO--OHSNAP THE BITCH ENTERED THE BUILDING.

Gabrielle: I hate her so much me makes me touch her hand when I cross the streeeeeeeet.

Gabrielle: I hate that Pirate, too he's creepy. He never wanted to swing me around he throws water balloons at me. :( :(

Gabrielle: DAD WANT TO SWING ME AROUND?
Dominic: Nooo, no. No. No. No. No.
Gabrielle: *plus, plus*

Like father, like daughter?

2guys1mop: Coming to an Internets near you.

THIS IS REALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN AT A TIME LIKE THIS.

Camille: I hate my liiiiiiiife. I DON'T WANT HAVE BABYS OK?

Dominic worries about his life being in the pooper.

Since he spends about 4875847 hours in the bathroom. It JUST MIGHT be.

She's raging bitch when she talks to people, but I think she lets her guard down when her bladder is full..

Really. She has eight nice points, I'm definitely sure this anger problem occurred due to all the neglect she's been experiencing since...she was born. (ALSO YOU KNOW HER MOTHER DYING IN A FIRE AND THEN COMING BACK TO LIFE..THAT PROBABLY MEANT SOMETHING, TOO.)

After what felt like forever she's finally cured of that damn bug. Though...the second her physical illness was fixed...

She goes into her 847875th mental breakdown. (If I were playing for points, I'm pretty sure I'd be at -38974478 points by now.)

Therapist: Maybe there is a button...that turns off...the crazy... Nope.

Camille: THX FOR THE HELP IF YOU ACTUALLY EXISTED I WOULD IGNORE YOU!
Therapist: I need to get paid for this shit.

Camille's been speaking to her paper cup all the time lately..it's like she's forgotten about Jerome.

Jerome: DAMN RIGHT SHE DID, AND I'M PISSED.

I don't think we'll ever lose that crazy face. Ever.

Dominic: DAMN TEENAGERS GET OFF MY LAWN STOP KICKING MY TRASHCANS I NEED THAT TO FEED MY FAMILY.

Camille loves her children. What she said earlier was a LIE. Just so you know..

Playing with the refrigerator is the only useful thing they can do with it right now. There's no food in there.

AND THEY SURE AS HELL DON'T HAVE THE DOLLA BILLS.

This is genuine stupid right here. 100% genuine. TALK TO EACH OTHER YOU STUPIDS!

Social Bunny: Fuck. Not her again..*stares*
Camille: *drools a little bit*

Social Bunny #1: LOLOL YOU'RE GETTING LAID. LOLOL *YOU'RE* DUMB ENOUGH TO HAVE SEX WITH HER. LOLOL
Dominic: :|

I'm pretty those two ~flirtatious~ bunnies are setting the mood for Camille and Dominic's sexytiemz.

Camille and Dominic shoo the bunnies out, because they are not voyeurs. Crazy? Yes. Dumb? Fuck yeah. Voyeurs? No, no they are not those.

Camille and Dominic are at it like bunnies...

The bunnies go back into the room, because they're the creepiest social bunnies I've ever seen in my life.

Ew.

I am getting so sick of this gnome stealing shit.

I have never seen this before. Figures I'd see it first with the Hayes. I've never had such bad parenting.

Gnome-Stealing-Brat is stuck in the middle of the living room...crying.

HOLY MOLY, CAMILLE, YOU CANNOT TORTURE CHILDREN.

I heard a male voice crying and at first I thought it was the Gnome Stealing Brat, and flipped the hell out.

It was just Dominic.

Dominic: I'M SUCH A FAILUUUUUUUUUURE. I HATE MY LIFE. I HATE IT. YOU'RE STUPID, DOMINIC. YOU'RE A STUPID MAN. YOU'RE UGLY, TOO. I HATE MYSELLLLLLLLLLLF.

Aw, Camille cheers Dominic up. I have to say this was probably the only moment that made me smile. They're almost like a happy family.

...I did say almost, right?

Camille: JEROME MY LIFE SUCKS. I HATE IT. WILL YOU HELP ME????
Jerome: O SO YOU ONLY COME TO ME WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING, RIGHT? D:<

Yeah, I'd say their lives DO suck.

Will they ever be able to afford another bed? Food? Toys for the children? Probably not. BUT STILL MIRACLES HAPPEN SOMETIMES STAY TUNED AND SEE IF THAT OCCURS HERE.

Hayes, 2.1

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 04:06:50 GMT

When I come back to play Camille's house I find she is making(literally) new friends.

Camille: CAN I TELL YOU A SECRET, FROSTY?!

She made another snowman buddy!

...and ANOTHER one.

Camille stayed up all night talking and chatting with her new snowmen buddies and almost froze to death.

PENGUIN + CAMILLE = BFFZ. Y/N?

I'm not entirely sure why, but I think Camille has some fetish for the ~hardcore~ menz. There was Pirate, Gothic Elf Dude, Octogenarian Biker and this dude. His name is Dominic.

MY GOD ALMOST EVERY DUDE SHE LIKES HAS SOME GNOME STEALING OBSESSION.

Except Dominic looks a little...excited about stealing Jerome. UR SUCH A HARDCORE MAN U GNOME STEALER!

Dominic also proceeded to DESTROY ALL OF CAMILLE'S FRIENDS.

What is Camille doing through all of this?

Seriously?

Dominic: A WOMAN'S NAKED BODY ~OOOOOOOOOOOOOO~

I guess that shower scene got Dominic all hot and bothered.

Camille: OHAI IT'S VURRY NICE TO MEET YOU.

Guys, Camille has resorted to making out with random strangers. GIRL IS GETTING DESPERATE. D:

Her reputation as what? A SLUT WHO MAKES OUT WITH RANDOM MEN BECAUSE JEROME THE GNOME DOESN'T SEEM INTERESTED?

Yeah, that pre-sexin' face is definitely boner inducing, Camille.

After stealing her gnome, destroying her snowmen, and having sex with her, Dominic believes that his work is done and leaves.

These are Camille's needs. Not in very good shape, yes?

A+ PRIORITIES, GRRRRRRL.

Camille: I approve of this Ball of Stink following me around. I LIKE NEW FRIENDZ.
Ball of Stink: ......:D

Camille usually has nightmares of humans, because she's insane...and she doesn't really like real people all too much. WHY WOULD SHE, SHE HAS ~*~*GNOMES*~*~!

Since she lost all of her other snowmen bffz, Camille makes some more friends.

OKAY. When a sim pops and makes THAT face, you know that baby is screwed.

GEEZ, WOMAN. STOP GETTING YOURSELF FROZEN BECAUSE YOU WANT TO TALK TO YOUR CREEPY SNOWMAN BUDDIES.

Camille has "OMG I THINK I WET MYSELF" nightmares about...meeting exterminators?

Cam may have made new snowmen buddies, but girl still stays true to Jerome the Gnome.

Camille: LOLOLOL HAI JEROME, I THINK I NEED A PAINTING IN THIS DEPRESSING SHITHOLE I CALL MY HOUSE. WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?

Jerome the Gnome: I THINK I SAW THE HEAD.

Camille: LOLOLOL YOU SO CRAZY!

Camille: HAI WANNA MOVE IN WITH ME SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW THE CHILD I HAVE IN MY UTERUS WHICH IS YOURS I CAN TELL BECAUSE IT KICKS EXTRA HARD WHEN I LISTEN TO METALLICA.
Dominic: OH HALE NO.

He eventually agreed ~~after a drugging process~~ to move in anyway. He is not pleased with this shit.

Dominic Gray
Fortune: Earn 100,000 Simoleons!!!!!!!! (Good luck with that one, bud.)

Dominic rolled the want(YES HE ACTUALLY *WANTED* THIS) to propose to Camille, so..he did.

Camille didn't though.

Camille: Ehhhhhhhhhhh, no thx.

Wow, Camille. Way to completely ruin your any chance at a relationship with someone other than old biker dude.

Camille: MROW WHO IS THAT SEXY SEXY MAN?!
Dominic: *MINUS MINUS*

After that whole awkward engagement scene, Camille decides to give birth. Great timing, you has it, Camille.

Dominic: OH WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY NOW THIS BABY WILL BE BORN OUT OF WEDLOCK!!!!!

As you can see, Dominic is STOKED about being a new father!

...It was a girl named Gabrielle. She has s1, green eyes and brown hair.

Ooh, look who's back. Gnome Plundering Pirate!

They attempted MANY TIMES to try for a baby. I guess Gnome Plundering Pirate is sterile.

Camille: Y HALLO THAR, SEXY PIRATE. WANNA HAVE SOME COUCH SEX WITH ME? *PLUS* *PLUS*

Gabrielle: SOMEONE CHANGE ME, I HATE THE FEELING OF FECES AGAINST MY BUTT CHEEKS.

Camille: LOL BRB GOTTA GO STEAL MY GNOME BACK.

You know what? I don't think Gabrielle would want to play with you. You care more about a gnome.

Camille: HEY. I can use this baby powder I found in the trash on Gabrielle!!!!

Uh, so you can make her diaper rash even WORSE?

I don't know about you guys, but I think these two are pretty kickass parents.

Camille thinks the flies swarming around her accentuates her ~beautiful and magical~ body odor.

She also thinks eating garbage prevents halitosis.

Gabrielle: OH FUCK SHE'S HAVING ANOTHER ONE?!!?

I understand Gabrielle's concern. These two dumbasses can't even feed THEMSELVES properly.

So, I really don't care much for infancy, so it usually goes by quickly for me.

Gabrielle is pretty damn adorable...which irritates Camille somehow?

WHAT A PICTURE PERFECT (and NOT traumatizing) FAMILY.

I think Gabrielle is hogging the toilet so Camille can know how it feels to lay around with wet pants. CAMILLE IS GETTING HER KARMA.

Camille: MAN, YOU'RE SO HOT THAT I WANT TO WET MYSELF~
Dominic: .......Ewwwwww.

OH MAN.

NOT AGAIN.

Dominic expresses much concern about his wife's mental instability, CLEARLY.

Dominic: GOD CAN SHE GO BE CRAZY SOMEWHERE ELSE I WANT TO CLEAN THAT COUNTER.

Gooooooooood job, Camille. ALSO SHIT I FORGOT TO BUY THEM A FIRE ALARM. D:

DON'T JUST STAND THERE CALL THE FIREMEEEEEEEEEN.

WTF CAMILLE, WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND (Oh wait..I get it now) PASSES OUT IN A RAGING FIRE?

How they FUCK did they get in the fire? I TOLD THEM TO CALL THE FIREMEN THE PHONE IS IN THE LIVING ROOM. DDDDDDDD:

Shit. Shit. Shit. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

Okay, stop crying, Dominic. You can still save her, just stop crying.

THE FIRE IS OVER. STOP DOING THAT. SAVE CAMILLE.

I hate him.

No, really. I HATE HIM.

dothesmustle: *loathes*

So.....I cheated.

Dominic: I just resurrected my girlfriend. :|

...Yeah at least Camille is excited?

Well. That moment of (kind-of) happiness lasted long.

They have to be good friends by now. I think she's met with the therapist over five times.

There is honestly no chance in any of generation two being normal.

Dominic: OSNAP I JUST HAD A REALLY BAD NIGHTMARE THAT I LIVED WITH THIS CRAZY WOMAN WHO SPOKE TO GNOMES AND SHE DIED IN A FIRE AND THEN I RESCUED HER AND ... *Slowly looks over to the right...*

Dominic: ...shit. That really happened.

Dominic: *mental breakdown*
Camille: LOL I JUST HAD ONE OF THOSE.

Gabrielle: FUCK YOU, DAD. MOM WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE BATSHIT ONE.

Meanwhile, Camille has gone way over the deep end. She thinks Jerome the Gnome...is her child.

Really, where is this straight jacket? There HAS to be one.

Gabrielle: I HATE MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE.

Why are you SO SO SMART, Camille? HOW CAN I LEARN TO BE LIKE YOU?!

Jerome the Gnome caught on fire as well. What are the elements trying to tell me?

So then Camille gives birth in her underwear on the front lawn, with only Jerome to watch.

Gabrielle is busy head...cribbing?

By the time Dominic makes it there, he shows his excitement for babies being born again. This guy just loves children.

DFJHDF7854THO54FKDJFKDJDFKFJDKFJDFKGJUY58

TRIPLETS. AGAIN.

Noah, Olive, and ...Malcolm. Right. Malcolm.

Dominic takes action and starts begging people for money. He should, though. They have 33 dollars in the bank.

WHAT KIND OF PARENTS? This is Camille and Dominic, we should be luck she hasn't died yet.

Camille, Jerome is not real. You cannot throw your children at him and expect them to be taken care of.

Gabrielle: Please, for the love of GOD, CHANGE MY DIAPER.
Dominic: NOOOOO STOP STRESSING ME OUTTTTTT.

This family is real and true trailer trash. This picture represents it all.

Rotten and half-eaten slice of pizza, unpaid bills, and a dirty diaper on the floor. Not to mention they all freely walk on their lawn in nothing but their underwear.

Also, let me show you what a WRECK their house is right now. D:

Camille still has nightmares, but she looks like she's almost smirking when she wakes up from them. What kind of dreams are you REALLY having of that old lady in your thought bubble?

I have high hopes for you, Gabrielle. I really do.

Camille: CRYYYYYYYYYYYYY I HATE MY LIIIIIIIIIIFE. ;_______;

Honestly, who is letting the babies get outside?

This family is COMPLETELY FUNCTIONAL. I do not know what you're talking about.

It looks like Dominic has resorted to whoring Camille out for some simoleons.

Will Camille and Dominic actually get promotions so they will actually be able to afford cribs? Will the children actually have toys instead of Camille throwing them at Jerome the Gnome thinking he talks to babies? WILL CAMILLE LEARN HOW TO JUMPROPE?!

That ends this update. It's pretty long, but seriously so much happened. Everyone is always in 457847 motive failures and everything is just CHAOTIC. D:

Hayes, Generation 1.1

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 04:05:44 GMT

First, lets meet our founder, Camille Hayes. If she looks a little nuts...it's because she is.

Popularity: Become Media Magnate.

Yes, a legacy founder. You live on a lot where the grass is your floor, you have no wallpaper and you sleep on a really cheap mattress.

Camille realizes there really isn't anything better to do and ponders the existence of the lawn gnome.

Camille: I shall call him...Jerome. Jerome the Gnome.

Yeah, Camille. The point of making cereal is to eat it. Not to make the cereal, place it on the counter, and then stare into...nothing. I can already tell you aren't very bright.

And this is where any hint of her sanity goes down the fucking drain.

Camille: SO HOW ABOUT THOSE MICROWAVES, JEROME??! LOLOLOL THEY SURE ARE HILARIOUS!

Camille: Flamingos are LAME. I'M ALL ABOUT THE GNOMIES, MAN.

...is she on crack? The scary thing is..she was gaining social while doing this. She thinks the gnome is talking back to her. What. The. Fuck.

Way to completely flash your vagina to Jerome the Gnome, Cam.

Gnome is not amused by any of this. Not at all.

Camille: NO I DO NOT WANT TO GO DOWNTOWN. I have GNOMES to socialize with.

Well, she went anyway.

She tries to make friends by telling everyone at da clubz that she is a heroin addict.

Alma: OMIGOD DON'T HUG ME YOU JUNKIE.

I'm guessing this is why homegirl(gnomegirl?) sticks to the gnomes.

She attempts the slutty approach of making the real friends.

Yeah..I bet she's looking for a gnome or other inanimate object to run away to.

She didn't find any gnomes.

Camille kept trying to play poker, but kept standing around with that in her thought bubble. My poor legacy founder is well..poor.

Staring at them like a weirdo isn't going make you rich. It's going to make you a creep.

Cam found something that she COULD afford. CHEAP BEER!

Yeah, I would hide from Camille, too, Bartender. You don't really like to talk to people who can have fluent conversations with objects.

Camille: THIS CUP OF "FRUIT PUNCH" CALLED ME A STUPIDHEAD, I SHALL END HIM WITH MY NOT STUPID AND VERY SMART HEAD.

Camille: My hands sing the songs of the umbrellas~

I'd be crying my eyes out if I was a popularity sim whose only friend was a gnome, too.

Camille: SOMEONE HURT JEROOOOOOOOOOOOOME. JEROME IS DEAAAAAAAAAAD.

Camille: LOLOL JEROME ISN'T REALLY DEAD. HE'S JUST KIDDING. RIGHT, JEROME? LOLOL JEROME REMEMBER THOSE MICROWAVES? AREN'T THEY SO CRAZY?!!?

Yeah, the microwaves are the crazy ones, Camille. It's the microwaves.

I need to get her some real friends. Now.

I feel like I've seen this all before..

Well...it's not like I didn't see it coming. All her wants involve making new friends and all she ever does is talk to that damn gnome.

At least she's socializing with something that's close to a real person...:/

OH, YOU CRAZY MONKEY, CAMILLE!

Feeling a little constipated, bb?

Camille: I JUST HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN, JEROME. IT WAS AS LAME AS A FLAMINGO.

Are you kidding me? FOR FUCK'S SAKE, CAMILLE. MAKE SOME *REAL* FRIENDS.

Okay, uhm. Someone get her into an asylum. ASAP. That is the most genuine crazy face I have ever done seen.

I wouldn't kick my only friend to the ground if I were you, Camille.

WTF @ this want. Can't you only do that when a sim is in university? Please don't tell me this neighborhood is already fucked up.

Cam still isn't good at making friends. Which is really bad solely based on the fact she is a popularity sim. ALL OF HER WANTS REVOLVE AROUND TALKING TO PEOPLE, BUT NO ONE LIKES HER. >.>

Camille: I need a gnome to vent to. D:

Camille: HEY EVERYONE THIS GIRL OVER HERE *TOTALLY* WANTS TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME.
Garden Club Lady: No! No! She's LYING. I DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH THE CRAZY LADYYYYYYY.

Life's hard for Camille. It's okay, sweetie, you still have your gnomes and the cups with sticks pasted on to them!

Since the rest of the store was a complete vagina party, we send Camille to one of those night clubs. People don't judge you as much at those.

Camille is upset, because the counter told her she has no friends. I mean, it is the truth. Why it took a counter at a nightclub for her to realize that is beyond me.

She then continued to do boring things like play pool. (No one played with her ;____;)

Honestly? Me too.

Camille: WHY CAN'T I MAKE REAL FRIENDS WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME??!!?!?

Back-Up Plan: Blind date.

Wow, thanks for merging your creepy crystal ball with my founder, matchmaker. It's not like people were already making fun of her or anything.

ALRIGHT. I KNOW you don't like humans and would much rather talk to a gnome or flamingo or shoe or piece of paper, I don't care. JUST MAKE NICE WITH SOMEONE FOR ONCE SO I COULD GET BABIES FROM YOU. This is taking too damn long.

I wouldn't look so smug, Camille. You're the one having mental breakdowns.

That face is giving me chills. She IS extremely creepy. No wonder everyone avoids her.

Camille: HEY WANNA PLAY GAM--
Some Guy: Uh..no..it's fine...can you..uhm...take a few steps back?

Yeah...(lol crotch shot~)

You know..I think it was the socks/mandals combo that really got her into this mental breakdown. Probably the fanny pack, too.

I kind of feel bad for this guy. I'm pretty sure meeting Camille decreases years from your life.

Some Guy: I'll call it..."Crazy Lady I Met Who Is Really Crazy Why Isn't She In An Asylum Yet?"

I do not blame him. Who in their right mind would want to date Camille again? Who in their right mind would date Camille AT ALL? There must be a drugging process done to get some unlucky guy to marry her.

A SOCIAL BUNNY VISIT. NICE. She probably has -83473857 aspiration points.

Social Bunny: WHY IS SHE SLEEPING, I DON'T LIKE IT HERE. IT'S CREEPY.

Camille: I HAD A REALLY BAD NIGHTMARE. THE SOCIAL BUNNY WAS HERE AND I HAD MULTIPLE MENTAL BREAKDOWNS AND---
Social Bunny: LOLHAI!

It really isn't good to be mean to the only people willing to speak to you. Seriously, I know exactly why no one likes you.

If she's trying to convince me she's completely normal by /sexcasually/ resting on the bed. She's failing, horribly.

I'm gonna say the Paper Boy is going to be changing his paper route soon.

Camille: REMEMBER THE MICROWAVES!? HA HA HA HA. MICROWAVES ARE TOO MUCH, DON'T YOU THINK?!

Camille: I smell like happiness!!!!!!!!!!

No, you smell like TV dinners, macaroni and cheese, pop tarts, and milk. GO TAKE A FUCKING SHOWER.

Sweet! Hot pirate man. POUNCE, CAMILLE....Camille? Where is she?

Dammit, Camille. Snap out of your crazy face and greet the man before he realizes he just walked by the bad neighborhood and flees.

Camille: I DON'T LIKE YOU, YOU AREN'T A GNOME.

dothesmustle: *fumes*

Whoa, Camille. SNAP OUT OF IT, THE DAMN PIRATE IS...PLUNDERING JEROME.

Camille: OMIGOD WHUT RU DOIN'?!!?

Camille: FUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU, PIRATE. YOU DISGUST ME, YOU THIEF!
Pirate: I feel like whistling today! :D :D

It seems as if she enjoyed that nightmare. Sims 2: Erotic Dreams Y/N?

Camille: NO IT WASN'T HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT!!!!

Having nightmares about meeting new people and she's a popularity sim. Camille is a winner.

How expected of you, Camille.

Screw you, Camille. I finally get hot-gothic elf guy in my neighborhood and you go all bitchtastic on him. THX FOR RUININ' MY HOPES AND DREAMS.

She hates nice elf man, but she swoons over Pirate who stole her bff gnome.

When they actually want to be her friends, she rejects each and every positive interaction. Nice. Real nice.

So I guess they decided to be bffz with each other.

Elf guy kicked Cam out of her house so he can watch Pirate jump rope.

IT'S OKAY, GIRL STILL HAS HER GNOMIES.

Pirate: Yeah, I don't really like to date crazy gnome-loving girls.
Camille: I DON'T LIKE GNOMES. SEE? I KICKED IT~ :D :D SEE!? I'm so sorry, Jerome. I still love you.

You must be one BADASS pirate if you can steal the gnomes. TREASURE? PSHAH. Gnomes is where it's at.

Camille: SCREW YOU GUY THAT DOESN'T STEAL MY GNOMES. YOU SUCK.

I don't understand what goes on in that crazy little head of hers. She'd rather befriend this guy that steals her shit and not with the nice elf. That's it. She's stupid.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WAT.

Oh meh GAH. Obviously some old guy trying to be hip is the perfect guy for Camille. Not like a...psychiatrist or anything. Some octogenarian biker. Pure logic.

You already stole her gnome, Pirate. Don't steal her date, too. Jerk.

It didn't even matter, though. Camille promptly left him to go steal back her gnome.

Uhm. WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED HERE? She barely knew him. D:

Camille: OMFG WHAT DID I JUST DOOOOOOO?

I don't even know.

Elegant girl.

Camille attempts to make snowmen in hopes of befriending them. 'Cause to Camille, the less alive, the better.

Which would explain her old man fetish..

That ends this update. So. Will Camille ever make friends? Babies? OR MAYBE EVEN CAKE?!?!
Stay tuned and ~find out~

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 03:01:17 GMT

lol