Stumbling into the Void - My True Love is Legion

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February 9th, 2011

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07:31 am - My True Love is Legion

I never knew that I could be so darned irresistible, but I guess I must be, because women all over the planet are expressing their undying love for me with one voice. In fact, they're sending the same letter. Repeatedly, and from different accounts.

"Hello Dear,"

Oh, do call me "snookums" !

"I saw your profile today in this site (

On which little was to be found but my Yelp and StumbleUpon reviews, but I can see why that would arouse your interest, especially when you came to the Jazz anthology review, because Yiddish has long been known to be the most sensual of languages. "You're an unemployed engineer AND you watch Futurama - and you're not taken?" I know, I know, it amazes me, too.

"and i stopped to take a very good look at it."

Maybe not that good a look.

"I want you to know that i will be interested to know you better because you sounded very sweet in your profile and i will like us to become friends and know each other the more."

You mean, like on my review of the Third Coast of whose service I wrote "but the kindest word that can be honestly applied to the service is 'uneven'; at times, I would use the word 'psychotic'. I still remember the server who was so angry that I'd ask for a spoon to stir my iced coffee with, that he threw it at me, ..." Yes, the love shows through.

"Here is my email address (address deleted) send me an email today please!
Yours forever,

Gosh, I don't know what to say. May I call you Katie Bear?

"(Remember that distance,age or colour does not matter in a real relationship but love matters alot)."


Enough that surely, later on, when one has established an online relationship with this new pen pal, one will surely be willing to send Katie some money to help take care of her poor sick grandfather, or save the family farm, or ... get the picture? Say hello to our old friend, the confidence man, who sees great promise in his fellow man and even greater promise in the anonymity offered him by the Internet, and the hope of consequence free grifting it offers.

"I am waiting for your reply now"

I think you just got it, "Kate".

AFTERMATH, 12:28 Chicago Time: Alas, my love was not true to me, for "she" proclaimed herself to be "yours forever" to many, oh so many users on Mashable, as one can see by visiting her Mashable Profile.

What a surprise. All I can do, now, is go out and drown my sorrows in caffeine, and find solace in the thought that the better man (or woman) has won my Katie's heart. If that is "her" real name.


Posted on my Tribe blog on Saturday, February 23, 2008 at 9:31 AM and then reposted to Xanga on Friday, November 21, 2008 at 1:15 AM




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