(no subject)  
12:49am 20/10/2009
 
 
Zola
Watching the Golden Girls and laughing so hard. Rose is so hilarious! Sophia will always be my favourite Golden Girl.

Plus this Saturday is Girls Day Out with NO KIDS! Roadhouse here we come! Amaretto Sour and Strawberry Margarita here I come! XD
mood: happy happy
 
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(no subject)  
11:45pm 18/10/2009
 
 
Zola
I've finally had the time to sit down and actually upload my mood theme. I still have another theme or so to upload but at least I have one uploaded for the time being. YAY!!!

In other news I have been making Awareness Ribbons. So far I am working on Pink for Breast Cancer and Yellow for Supporting The Troops. I hate the war but since I know at least 3 people in the Army I support them for risking their lives to keep this god forsaken country half safe.(Pffft!)

I will have a pic of each up some time within the next day or so. I have so many phone calls to make tomorrow...well just one tomorrow and then another one next Monday. Need to see if I owe a fee for missing my last counseling appointment...I had a family emergency and family is first and foremost to me and I hope that they understand that.

Ok now that I have updated I think I am going to go jump in the shower and then let Kingdom Hearts continue to own my soul.
mood: artistic artistic
 
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(no subject)  
01:47pm 16/10/2009
 
 
Zola
I really need a life or job. Or to get things in order to go back to school. I need something to do during the day. Which is why I am hoping that this Angel Pin thing works our for me. I just need to get the glue gun and then I will be able to finish putting it together and then send it in for inspection. Hopefully I'll pass first time around but I know I probably won't but that is ok. I may decide to do 2 units, after i pass inspection, and then ask that my earnings from those two be put towards another 2 units for 4 which is worth $100 and then after 200 pins I'll get that $100 back. Plus they reimburse for shipping which is totally nice. Though if I start doing units I may just get some boxes from the post office and buy some bubble wrap and ship them that way instead of the seemingly expensive envelopes that have the bubble wrap in them.

If all goes well before the end of the year I should have enough money to get gifts for my family and friends and then I won't feel so bad for not getting them anything. Even if it is only as $20 gift card for a store of their choice. the kids will get like crayons and coloring books only because they seem to be happy with that type of stuff.

But I'm putting the car before the horse and I need to pass the inspection first although they want you to order units before you pass inspections. So thankfully dad gets paid today and then I'll get the glue gun, finish the angel, get the envelope, and mail it out tomorrow or Monday. Though I need to get the bills out...just need to drop Verizon off, and drop the other two in the mailbox. I would like to ask dad if I can get the new KH game after bills are paid but I'd really like the $ to do the Angel Pins too. So I think I may do the angel pins first and when I start making the money pick up the KH game along with anything else I may want.

Alright I need to go now. I am getting a bit hungry and want to change my clothes.
 
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I'm Falling Apart to Songs About Hips and Hearts  
05:53pm 14/10/2009
 
 
Zola
Matt called me today which was really nice and totally unexpected. He wished me a Happy Early Sweetest Day just in case he doesn't talk to me before Saturday. Now that I'm single I hate Sweetest Day and Valentine's Day because the people around me get flowers, candy, balloons, and cards and I get nothing. So depressing.

Well I'm going to go now I will have to see if I have to head to Toby's house and drop stuff off and get my DS and charger. Ok BAI!
 
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(no subject)  
09:51pm 27/09/2009
 
 
Zola
Went to bed last night between 10:30-11, woke up @ 3:30am, and have been up ever since then with the exception of like 45minutes to an hour for a nap I took. I still don't feel tired but I am going to see how long I am going to be up...told my dad and of course he asked me what was bothering that would keep me up like that. I don't know...I feel like I've been a little stressed out a bit but that's normal for me when I have to hear kids screaming all day every day and no one shuts them up.

I may steal the wii tonight and play Mario Galaxy or Nights. I think I may try nights first just to see what it is like...i was told the Gamecube controller could work for it and I think I was told the classic controller for Mario. Thankfully I have the classic and my brother has the Gamecube controller so I'm covered.

I'm pretty bored...watching NCIS reruns and playing Restaurant City on Facebook. The only downside to that app is that when it's not up and running on a tab you don't earn XP but you earn the cash. So I keep a tab up with it on and open another tab to check the rest of my apps.

Alright heading out now and going to try and find something to do to kill some time.
 
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(no subject)  
09:38pm 23/09/2009
 
 
Zola
I just heard on the radio that only 1 in 4 high school students in Oklahoma can name the very first president of the USA. Seriously?! You are telling me that 3 out of 4 high school students(in Oklahoma) can't tell you that GEORGE WASHINGTON WAS THE FIRST PRESIDENT? HOW SAD IS THAT?

I learned that in like the 2nd or 3rd grade. I mean c'mon how hard is it to look at a dollar bill? It has George Washington right there on it. Ok it doesn't scream "FIRST PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!!!" but it should click somewhere.

I think that Oklahoma needs to change their curriculum just a tad.
 
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(no subject)  
01:05pm 18/09/2009
 
 
Zola
Pictures of Abby and Bella )
 
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Sweeeeeeet!  
08:56am 01/09/2009
 
 
Zola
I just checked my Twitter and noticed I had another follower so I checked and it was Christopher Titus! MY ALL TIME FAVE COMEDIAN! BRB FANGIRLING!
 
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L-O-V-E Is Just Another Word I'll Never Learn To Pronounce  
11:57pm 25/08/2009
 
 
Zola
I am working on a solid Granny Square blanket...along with the commissioned afghan from Crysta and the one I've been working on for the past 7 months. I am using Camouflage yarn for it and if I have it done by Christmas I may give it to Matt as a present but I haven't decided anything yet.

I am leaving Saturday afternoon and I can't wait!! I still have so much to pack and as of right now I have a duffel bag full of shirts, underwear, socks, and sleep pants. I still have to pack my shampoo, conditioner, toothbrush, tooth paste, my Acne Free skin clearing stuff, my deodorant, dvds, my laptop, laptop charger, phone charger, feminine products just in case I get my period while I'm there, books, my Skeleanimals kitty, My(well Toby's) brown pillow, I need to wash my rainbow blanket along with my jeans, more socks, and more of my sleep pants. I need to buy some more body wash which I will do Friday or Friday night I plan on taking this Solid Granny Square project with me so that needs packed and I'm also taking along a big pink carrying case which is full of the yarn I am using for the commissioned afghan.

So I am just going to ask Crystal if she will clean out the suitcase she used when she went to visit her aunt awhile back and see what I can pack into there and see how many bags I can eliminate. My dad wanted me to get 2 weeks worth of clothes into a medium sized duffel bag which I could if I really stuffed and packed it but I am taking too many other things with me for him to pick me up on the bike when it's time for me to come home.

Plus I know I will be coming home with more than what i left with because dad is giving me $75 from the $175 that Clark normally gives us so I'll have some spending money. Though the Friday I get back I need to buy a collar, leash, puppy food, and a chew toy or 2 that will be good for her gums/teeth this way I don't make her go a night without eating. I do need to ask Crystal to ask her cousin what kind of puppy food they are on this way I can keep feeding her the same kind and not screw up her stomach or buy a brand she doesn't like.

*Note to self~~~~LOOK FOR YOUR DIGITAL CAMERA! It has to be in this house some where and I am hoping to God(who ever that may be) I can find it before I leave on Saturday so I can take some great pictures of North Carolina and flood my page with the pictures. I will only post a few here and then publicly post the rest on my photobucket. Same goes for when I get Abby. I'm sure I'll be camera happy when I get her as well.

Gonna go and add some more rounds to my Solid Afghan and then I'm heading to bed.

Oh yeah my piercings are healing quite nicely ^_^
location: My Bedroom
music: 3OH!3--Starstrukk
 
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(no subject)  
09:24am 13/08/2009
 
 
Zola
Hits the Nail On the Head )
 
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I used to be love drunk but now I'm hungover  
08:12pm 04/08/2009
 
 
Zola
I got my new phone today. It's the red Samsung Trance and I love it! Granted I've only had it a few hours but I really love this phone. There are two websites my sister gave me www.phonezoo.com and www.myxer.com where you can have ringtones sent to your phone for free, though some do cost money and will let you know, which is awesome! I haven't signed up for Phone Zoo but I have for Myxer and the really cool thing with Myxer is you can upload your own songs and turn them into ring tones. You can keep the entire song or just make it a regular ring tone snipit.

My phone charger also doubles as a USB cord which is also very awesome since my old phone is so screwed up I have to take the pics from my computer and put them on my phone that way.

Ok I'm going now I wanna play with my phone some more. XDDDD
 
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GreenDay-Jesus of Suburbia Lyrics  
09:13am 05/06/2009
 
 
Zola
Got bored and decided to post some lyrics.

[Part 1]

I'm the son of rage and love
The Jesus of suburbia
From the bible of none of the above
On a steady diet of soda pop and Ritalin
No one ever died for my sins in hell
As far as I can tell
At least the ones I got away with

And there's nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm supposed to be
In a land of make believe
That don't believe in me

Get my television fix sitting on my crucifix
The living room or my private womb
While the moms and brads are away
To fall in love and fall in debt
To alcohol and cigarettes and Mary Jane
To keep me insane and doing someone else's cocaine

And there's nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm supposed to be
In a land of make believe
That don't believe in me

[Part 2: City Of The Damned]

At the center of the Earth
In the parking lot
Of the 7-11 were I was taught
The motto was just a lie
It says home is where your heart is
But what a shame
Cause everyone's heart
Doesn't beat the same
It's beating out of time

City of the dead
At the end of another lost highway
Signs misleading to nowhere
City of the damned
Lost children with dirty faces today
No one really seems to care

I read the graffiti
In the bathroom stall
Like the holy scriptures of a shopping mall
And so it seemed to confess
It didn't say much
But it only confirmed that
The center of the earth
Is the end of the world
And I could really care less

City of the dead
At the end of another lost highway
Signs misleading to nowhere
City of the damned
Lost children with dirty faces today
No one really seems to care

[Part 3: I don't care]

I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't care
[x4]

I don't care

Everyone is so full of shit
Born and raised by hypocrites
Hearts recycled but never saved
From the cradle to the grave
We are the kids of war and peace
From Anaheim to the middle east
We are the stories and disciples
Of the Jesus of suburbia
Land of make believe
And it don't believe in me
Land of make believe
And I don't believe
And I don't care!
I don't care! [x4]

[Part 4: Dearly beloved]

Dearly beloved are you listening?
I can't remember a word that you were saying
Are we demented or am I disturbed?
The space that's in between insane and insecure
Oh therapy, can you please fill the void?
Am I retarded or am I just overjoyed
Nobody's perfect and I stand accused
For lack of a better word, and that's my best excuse

[Part 5: Tales of another broken home]

To live and not to breathe
Is to die In tragedy
To run, to run away
To find what you believe
And I leave behind
This hurricane of fucking lies
I lost my faith to this
This town that don't exist

So I run
I run away
To the light of masochist
And I leave behind
This hurricane of fucking lies
And I walked this line
A million and one fucking times
But not this time

I don't feel any shame
I won't apologize

When there ain't nowhere you can go
Running away from pain
When you've been victimized
Tales from another broken home

You're leaving...
You're leaving...
You're leaving...
Ah you're leaving home...
 
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(no subject)  
10:19pm 02/06/2009
 
 
Zola
Things have been going well lately. I have found a wonderful counseling center and have a wonderful counselor named Leslie. She is super-nice and doesn't make me feel on edge and it is nice to have someone to just talk to. I'll see her again June 15th and then I'll see the psychiatrist July 7th and I'm hoping to get my counseling appointments every other week and I am wondering if I'll need the medication. I felt good after talking to her the first day but I didn't feel good enough...maybe I do need the anti-depressants. I didn't like Prozac because it made me feel neutral not bad but not good either. So if I do need the anti-depressants than I am hoping I'll be able to discuss what medications I'd like to try.

Got a surprise from Matt today: He's coming up in the next 2 weeks for Father's Day and he'll be in town for a week and then he'll be back up in August for 2 weeks. I've gotta be honest: I am deathly nervous and nerve-racked about seeing him and I don't know why either. He has had always had some kind of hold on me and I'm just stoked about seeing him and hanging out at like the mall or something. He's gonna meet my family so this is gonna be interesting to say the least...let's see there is Tia, Joe, Kaiden, Pookie, Crystal, Fuzz, Jonell, Taven, and Alexa. Oh yeah and my dad again....oh boy. He wants me to make him M&M cookies so I gotta ask him what day for sure he'll be in so that I know when to make them...that way I can do my Pumpkin Raisin cookies and his M&M cookies in all one shot.

My brother Joe got a baby ball python, a female named Pookie, and I am the first to run at the word "snake" but I love this little girl to death. I am not worried about being struck or anything by her and she normally just stays curled up in the palm of my hand and she is so sweet. I feel like I have accomplished something huge in my life....I am not afraid of snakes or at least baby ones and I don't know how big she'll be in the next few weeks when Matt comes in...I sure hope that he isn't afraid of snakes LOL. I wanna try and get some pictures of her and then post them on my Photobucket.

I got bored and am dying my hair pink again. Yeah I have no life but getting a job sucks as is so might as well look damn good if I'm going to get rejected by people. Dad probably won't be too happy but he knows how I am and in a few weeks I'll go to black or burgundy or something. Toby and I are doing ok I plan on going down next Tuesday to see him for his birthday: which reminds me I still need to find his Top hat and get everything else gathered up that he asked for. I finally got my own Xbox 360 with 120 gig hard drive and it's only costing me $200....well now $190 since I gave Trenton, Tia's brother, $10 for it and now I can't give him the $50 like I wanted so I'll have to give him $25 and go from there. But it should be paid off before the end of the year and I'll own my baby forever. Yeah I truly have no life lol.

Alright I gotta go wash my hair and see what it looks like and see if I need to apply more. Ta.
 
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(no subject)  
09:14pm 27/05/2009
 
 
Zola
Ok so I never got around to my suspicions about what I thought was going on. I think everything has settled down now. There is a car I want....a beetle. It's cheap and I want it so damn bad. I'm tempted to sell my car, give the money to them, and see if i can give them like $75 a week and drive off in my beautiful new beetle. GAH! I want it so bad!

Things between me and Toby are going great. We are taking a "break" nothing serious we are just gonna stay how we are me here him at his house and we agreed to take care of ourselves first and get ourselves help and then we'll meet in the middle and he'll move back in. So yeah I am looking into a couple of places to where I can go for my depression and see what kind of counseling I can get and possibly anti-depressants.

I hate not updating this poor thing as I should. I just get so busy during the day that I don't bother turning my laptop on unless I am looking for a crochet pattern or a youtube video. Yeah I've been busy lately. I have some laundry to do tonight so I am going to end this here and i pray that I can update soon.
 
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(no subject)  
08:00pm 05/05/2009
 
 
Zola
I just saw a commercial for a type of paint that has Arm and Hammer Odor Block in the paint to constantly keep your house smelling fresh. Seriously? Is it getting to the point to where people are so freaking lazy they can't light a scented candle, spray some Febreeze, Oust, or something to get rid of an odor? Or you know actually CLEAN to get rid of a smell? Take out the trash, clean the kitty litter, wash the dishes, wash the bathroom, idk. Seriously if people are so lazy to where all they have to do is paint their walls with paint that has Arm and Hammer in it.(ok painting can be somewhat hard work depending on the room and the shape of it. But still being to lazy to spray something instead of painting a room or you entire house just for a smell refresher) What The Fuckity Fuck?
 
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(no subject)  
01:54pm 20/04/2009
 
 
Zola
I don't mind small children but for some reason today hearing them cry just makes my head wanna explode. Especially when the little one cries she has both of her top front teeth coming in at once and i don't know why they don't give her any medicine to rub on her gums to help ease/soothe her pain.

Beh. Things here have been odd. Toby and I seem to be nit-picking at each other more often; though he sees it as nothing but yet I fear that one day he is going to leave me. He says that he loves me but if he loves me so much why wasn't that love strong enough to keep him here with me? I fear that his love for me is less than he thinks it is because I would take a bullet for him though I doubt he'd do the same for me. Saying and Doing are 2 different things and he can say it until he's blue in the face but since he left says that he doesn't love me as much as he thinks he does.

Wish things were different and were back to normal.


[/emo entry]
 
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(no subject)  
01:29am 11/04/2009
 
 
Zola
Ok the calling hours for my great-uncle were yesterday. I had every intention of going until about 7pm, the hours were from 6-8pm, then it hit me I couldn't face the casket and I couldn't face my other relatives on my mom's side. I feel so horrible for not going but I just couldn't do it; I couldn't do another funeral/calling hour. I have cried and it has gotten to the point of where I can't cry anymore. I have so many emotions that need to be let out and the only thing I can do is cry until I feel dizzy or ready to throw up.

I will probably end up going down to Toby's house to see him since, because of the weather, I haven't been able to see him as much as I have wanted to. I am still saving up for my Xbox; I let my sister borrow $50, which I'll get back here in the next week or so, but I sold a purse to my mom for $10, Mandy gave me $15 for the cupcakes I made her, my brother gave me $20 for taking him to Wal-mart, and then he let me keep the change from taking him to Taco bell and getting him some more beer from Speedway which was an extra $7. So I have $52 and some change that needs to be bought plus I have the $ that my brother gave my dad for "rent" and I have no idea as to how dad wants that set up it changes about every week. Normally $100 goes in my account and $25-50 goes in his but last week he also got paid so he had me put $920 in my account to cover the house payment and the other 4 bills we had and I'm not sure how he wants it done. Though I'm kicking myself because I never thought to use Ebay until tonight when I found a brand new still in the box Elite for $0.99 and free shipping that was ending in a few hours. Now if only I had the money in my paypal account to actually get it.

I am thinking about getting my hair re-permed but this time I'm going to head to the salon that my fiance and his family uses because his niece got a perm there and she had the really tight ringlets that I really want.Not too mention my first perm fell out because my original salon didn't tell me not to wash it for 28-48 hours. So I want to get tighter curls this time around and since I'm engaged to Toby I'm hoping to get some what of a discount but if not its not supposed to be highly expensive either. So now I need to get more than what I originally needed in order to get my perm also.

So when I get a better idea of how much I am going to need then I can finally start being able to deduct from my total again.

I also had a horribly weird and very scarring dream last night. On the Myspace login page they have that movie preview with Seth Rogan and Anna Faris I think it's called Observe and Report; well anyway I had a dream that I was being horribly abused by Seth Rogan's character and then in swoops the Cullen family, which really made me go WTF!, and they saved the day. I remembered having my mouth duct taped, my hands were chained to an anchor on the floor which allowed me to move them a little bit, my feet were also chained and I was cut all over and bleeding and had crusted blood all over the place and his (Rogan's) character was standing over me getting ready to hit me and that's when the Cullen's showed up and "saved" the day.

Yeah totally fucked up. I have no idea where my subconscious came up with that odd combination. Needless to say I was awoken very early and haven't been able to sleep even now. Though I should probably head to bed since Dad will probably want me to head to the bank and they close at noon....I hope I'm up before then and I hope dad is home by then.

So I'm gonna head out and check on something before I head to bed.

Ta.
 
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Week Day Wonders  
09:40pm 07/04/2009
 
 
Zola
So today my sister in law and the kids left to go to her Mom and Dad's house. Until Sunday. I don't know if I've ever been happier about anything so minuscule. So tonight my dad and I had Chinese from the Empire China Buffet and oh it was and still is so good. I may be bringing Toby home for a few tonights tomorrow and that makes me happy but I'm not gonna hold my breath on that because I'm not sure if he is going to be able to handle the ride back to my house. I might have to give him half of one of my left over Vicodin...if I can find it. But I digress.

I've been working on the cupcakes that my sister wanted done and I only have 2 left to do. Right now I'm working on the outing of the white cupcake bottom and then I have to finish the red outing and sew everything together and ta-dah I'm done and $20 more toward my Xbox 360 fund and after that I'll need $235.91 I think I'm making some decent progress though I've been looking at puppies on petfinder.com, mostly huskies, and I found a beautiful one but it's in Delta, Ohio and I have no clue as to where that may be. Though i did find a beautiful corgi/beagle mix at our local pound and it's only $30 to adopt which isn't bad. But I am trying to keep my money toward the 360 and I will prevail though it would go a lot faster if I had a job but eh. I'm probably going to head to Newcomerstown to see if any place down there is hiring and if not I go back to the mall and then I suppose I try to branch out to places like Canton and such.

Well I'm going to head off of here and try and finish those cupcakes and eat some more of my Hong Kong Chicken.


Oh yeah my great uncle passed away yesterday. I was close to him but in the past few years I hadn't seen him much and from what my mom and sister told me he was so bad off he couldn't talk and that they kept him completely doped up just to cope with the pain. My great-grandmother has lived through the loss of 3 husbands and now the loss of a son. I hope that this doesn't relapse her and we lose her this year. That would just kill me and my family. I don't think I can handle anymore funerals or heartache.

I'm going to head out now. I may update later but I'm not too sure yet.

Ta.
 
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Short Ramblings  
03:40am 01/04/2009
 
 
Zola
Ok so today is mine and Toby's 2 year anniversary. April Fool's Day. To us it no longer has the joke-feel but we do play the occasional trick on each other but other than that we are pretty serious. It feels longer than 2 years but it's been a wonderful 2 years. I went to his house yesterday and he gave me flowers and a little drawing he made me. My gift for him isn't done yet; I'm still crocheting the afghan and I want it to be for him for our anniversary. I won't be able to go down today because it is suppose to rain and I refuse to drive on the freeway while it is raining, due to past horrible experiences, so lately I haven't been able to see him much. Though it is supposed to be 73 degrees on Thursday so I'll definitely be heading to his house that day.

Lately I've been a little stressed so right now my period is late and probably out of whack majorly. So I am waiting, albeit anxiously, for it to arrive. Though the more anxious/stressed I get the more it's going to put itself off. I need to find some method of calming down/relaxing to get everything back in proper order.

I better go now I'm still a bit sore from Monday when I cleaned my entire room and switched my futon back to my day bed. I accidentally broke the futon but I didn't like sleeping on it anyways because it always hurt my back without fail. I may update sometime later this week I don't know yet. Unless something exciting or horrible happens I'll post.

Ta.
 
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short thing nothing big  
11:57am 22/03/2009
 
 
Zola
Where is your cell phone.....................around
Your hair........................................mixed
Your father.....................................Clark
Your favorite thing...........................Food
Your dream last night.........................AWKWARD
Your favorite drink...........................tea
Your dream/goal...............................Marriage
The room you are in..........................Living
Your fear......................................loss
Where do you want to be in 6 years......Stable
Muffins.........................................banana
One of your wish list items................... kids
Where you grew up............................ dover
The last thing you did......................... kiss
What are you wearing........................clothes
Your TV.........................................big
Your pets........................................cats
Your computer.................................HP
Your life.........................................O.K
Your mood......................................Awake
Missing someone...............................Toby
Your car.........................................Black
Favorite store..................................hot topic
Your summer....................................Eventful
Your favorite color.............................Black
When is the last time you laughed...........today
Last time you cried............................Last night
Three people who email me...................Vicki, Becky, mom
Three of my favorite foods...................potatoes, rice, pizza
Three places I would rather be right now.....Ireland
Three people I think will respond............???
 
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