Bertram Aubrey

//Sixteen//

2011-07-31T04:50:11Z

[ZACH] SO I WAS GOING TO GIVE BIANCA A PROMISE RING TO MAKE HER UNDERSTAND I WASN'T GOING TO LIKE, LEAVE HER BECAUSE SHE STILL HAS A LITTLE BIT OF PREGNANCY WEIGHT AND --

-- I'M ENGAGED? [/ZACH]

//Fifteen//

2011-05-17T22:34:23Z

//Fourteen//

2011-04-05T05:41:17Z

[Bianca] Broderick? Hunter? Angus? [/Bianca]

Owl to Bianca Vaisey

2011-02-09T05:57:00Z

So, I've got these tickets to the Valentine's Day Quidditch gala ~~no big deal~~ and I was wondering whether you would like to go with me ~~if you don't hate me~~.

I mean, as long as you don't have anything better to do.

//Thirteen//

2010-08-14T22:18:07Z

Well, that was annoying.

They tore my pants. Assholes.

//Twelve//

2009-03-23T03:15:15Z

What are the odds a bloke whose ex is marrying ANOTHER rockstar can get a pity date from a smoking hot girl?

Anyone?

Anyone?

//Eleven//

2009-02-06T05:53:10Z

Oi, Zach.

That advert was pretty gay, mate.

I also appear to be single again. Who can I be treating to dinner?

//Ten//

2008-02-26T05:11:47Z

(:

Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.

//Nine//

2008-02-25T00:49:42Z

So, who wants to be a dear and ~~comfort me after my crushing loss of Conway as someone to bug with pick-up lines~~ refresh my memory concerning the readings for Potions this week?

I may or may not have ~~been taking in the view down a bint's shirt~~ paying terribly close attention.

//Eight//

2008-01-25T03:51:18Z

Now ladies, I know that the boys get you down. But I, Bertram Aubrey, am here to comfort you all.

And I do mean that from the very bottom of my heart.

pantsoptional @ 2008-01-12T22:33:00

2008-01-13T05:33:35Z

{AUBREY; Bertram Pascal}

All I really want is girls
NAME: Bertram Pascal Aubrey
AGE: 18
HEIGHT: 6'
DOB: July 12, 1961
EDUCATION: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Slytherin
WAND: Bloodwood; 10 1/4 inches, veela hair core
NASTY HABITS: Smoking, womanizing, ~~baby talk~~
PAST RELATIONSHIPS: Vivica Avery, Cecilia Hooke, Corey O'Connor, ~~Rachel Englewood~~
HISTORY: Bertram comes off as an insatiable horndog. A flirt, someone who doesn't take anything seriously and that will do anything with functional female organs. He doesn't have a problem with letting people think this is the truth - in fact, he encourages it. He often lies about his relationships with fellow students (and the odd really hot intern at St. Mungo's, but they rarely find out about it...) in order to perpetuate such a front, but in reality ... well. He certainly isn't opposed to a great deal of snogging and heavy petting, but he seldom has the time (or apparent patience) to go much farther than that.

The reason is one that he has yet to tell anyone - not even his flatmates at school, so far. After a series of hot-handed summers with his estate-neigbour, Rachel (except for the summer before fifth year, when he was dating Vivica Avery), Bertram found himself with a problem.

A child-shaped problem, in fact. The summer before sixth year found Bertram very much involved with Rachel and Rachel very much pregnant. She was unfortunately far less interested in him than he in her - he'd always been the guy that she went to when she was in-between dating during the summer months, while she'd been the girl he wanted since his early teenage hormones had kicked in. Rachel showed little interest in pursuing a relationship with Bertram, especially during the pregnancy (but her father absolutely forbade the termination of the pregnancy). While both sets of parents were furious and Rachel's father promptly moved their family to an estate a good deal away from the Aubreys, Betram had no plans to shirk his responsibilities as a parent. He did, however, plan to take Amissa home to his estate for the summer, and Rachel had no problem with this. She had little desire to be a mother, although she didn''t neglect the child (largely because her parents did most of the 'rearing' of the little girl).
THEME: Girls by the Beastie Boys