|
[Thursday
April 30th, 2009 at 12:27am] |
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:05:19 AM] Kristin F:
so, how long is this mad at kristin thing gonna go on for
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:06:47 AM] amanda: I'm over it.
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:07:09 AM] Kristin F:
thats it
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:07:14 AM] amanda: what, do you WANT for me to be mad at you?
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:07:18 AM] amanda: I knew you werent gonna come.
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:07:21 AM] amanda: You could have just told me.
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:07:35 AM] Kristin F:
no, i told you amanda
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:07:39 AM] Kristin F:
i had to work
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:07:57 AM] Kristin F:
by the time i got home on sunday it was 7 30 and to be honest with you after a 12 hour day i needed to sleep
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:07:50 AM] amanda: no kristin, you said you had cheer gym on friday
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:07:54 AM] amanda: and I said well there's a show friday
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:07:56 AM] amanda: and you said oh ok
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:08:05 AM] amanda: I mean saturday
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:08:16 AM] Kristin F:
I WORKED all day friday and saturday
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:08:12 AM] amanda: Ok.
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:08:27 AM] Kristin F:
its not likei was littin at home doing nothing
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:08:22 AM] amanda: But you didnt tell me that. You only said you had work friday.
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:08:33 AM] Kristin F:
*sitting
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:08:44 AM] Kristin F:
no i told you saturday morning i was working all day
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:08:51 AM] amanda: Buuut you didnt
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:08:53 AM] amanda: whatever
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:09:06 AM] Kristin F:
and its not my fault sasha decided to call in sick with her "menagitus" and i was stuck there till 3
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:08:57 AM] amanda: like I said Im over it.
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:09:11 AM] Kristin F:
ok
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:09:20 AM] amanda: the show was at 8pm kristin lol
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:09:48 AM] Kristin F:
I was at the cheer gym from 330 to 730
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:10:31 AM] Kristin F:
not like you care though since your over it
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:11:06 AM] Kristin F:
i am sorry for not making it..i dont mind coming to see it, but i had to much going on both days to try and work it in
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:11:31 AM] Kristin F:
because as of right now money is more then important then anyone else
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:11:43 AM] amanda: oh cool
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:17:07 AM] Kristin F:
amanda you can be as mad as you want at me..because you know im the only one you can stay mad at and wont say anything but its not something that should be all on me
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:18:14 AM] amanda: kristin it's NOT. You're the one who IMd me like I did something wrong
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:18:29 AM] amanda: You never told me you werent coming. I know what you said to me.
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:18:40 AM] amanda: And I told you I was over it
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:18:59 AM] Kristin F:
because you didnt call me back or texrt be back..and from your little status on facebook its obvious i should give you a lil more to cool off
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:18:51 AM] amanda: But you could have apologized, I got into this same conversation with Erin
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:19:05 AM] amanda: Omg kristin seriously that was like two days ago
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:19:20 AM] amanda: I texted you asking "are you coming" and you never texted me back either
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:19:38 AM] Kristin F:
i was WORKING
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:20:19 AM] amanda: OK KRISTIN I seriously wasnt even that pissed at you but now you're aggrivating me!
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:21:01 AM] Kristin F:
k i always aggrivate you apparently, but thats fine goodbye
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:20:55 AM] amanda: You're the one who said 'that's it'
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:21:00 AM] amanda: Omg be more dramatic, please
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:21:38 AM] Kristin F:
no your the one making yourself seem like the dramatic one
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:21:38 AM] amanda: omg give me a break
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:22:06 AM] Kristin F:
your radther stay pissed off with this grudge thats how you are
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:22:03 AM] amanda: you're the one who IMd me and made yourself sound victimized in some way
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:22:17 AM] Kristin F:
no no
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:22:09 AM] amanda: Kristin seriously
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:22:11 AM] amanda: shut the fuck up
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:22:34 AM] Kristin F:
yup im done
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:22:29 AM] amanda: Me too
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:22:33 AM] amanda: peace the fuck out
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:22:44 AM] Kristin F:
..and just a little hint for you
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:22:38 AM] amanda: you're starting drama
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:22:49 AM] Kristin F:
dont be late to work tomorrow
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:22:53 AM] Kristin F:
-goodbye
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:22:46 AM] amanda: fuck off
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:22:48 AM] amanda: -peace
Kristin F:
and one more thing for the record..dont think i didnt feel bad because i did i even had a huge conversation with erin and me feeling bad that i didnt make it and i did apoligize to you, you were just to busy telling me i was being dramatic to read it. so please next time instead of being a total bitch and completely ignoring someone how bout you take chance and actually understand were someone is coming from because your so quick to make me have to explain myself to you when it all had to be was i am sorry, thats ok next time, kinda thing
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:32:17 AM] amanda: Kristin, seriously, I wasnt even mad at you until you started saying btichy things about me!
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:32:22 AM] amanda: Ive cooled off
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:32:26 AM] amanda: it's been like FOUR days
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:32:30 AM] amanda: And you IMd ME
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:32:31 AM] amanda: And started
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:32:32 AM] amanda: soooo
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:32:48 AM] Kristin F:
bitchy things..i wasnt being bitchy you just dont beleive that i was working
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:32:42 AM] amanda: KRISTIN
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:32:59 AM] Kristin F:
i imed you because if i didnt you wouldnt be talking to me still
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:33:09 AM] Kristin F:
and prob for the next two weeks maybe longer
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:33:13 AM] amanda: SEE
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:33:20 AM] amanda: WHy are you telling ME what I would be doing!?
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:33:26 AM] amanda: That's pissing me off!
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:34:37 AM] Kristin F:
amanda im not fucking telling you what you aare doing, but to be completly honest i know how you are you will stay mad and talk about how you mad to everyone else instead of calling me up and saying something
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:34:37 AM] amanda: OBVIOUSLY YOU FUCKING DONT
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:34:41 AM] amanda: YOu're assuming things and you're WRONG
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:34:47 AM] amanda: and as a result you're really pissing me the fuck off
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:34:53 AM] amanda: So stop!
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:35:12 AM] Kristin F:
grow up amanda
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:35:09 AM] amanda: Are you serious!?
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:35:13 AM] amanda: You're out of fucking control
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:35:14 AM] amanda: Seriously.
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:35:26 AM] Kristin F:
ok
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:35:19 AM] amanda: Go to bed
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:35:22 AM] amanda: Night.
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:35:34 AM] Kristin F:
your the one that started to curse at me
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:35:38 AM] Kristin F:
out of control
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:35:29 AM] amanda: Because you sound crazy
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:35:30 AM] amanda: ok
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:35:42 AM] Kristin F:
ok
[Thu Apr 30 2009 12:39:15 AM] Kristin F:
god you just fucking make me laugh so hard trying to turn this all around on me..i was wrong i told you that i said sorry and im the crazy one trying to talk about it but you are just blowing up..i may not be in the right with everything but im sure not in the wrong this time sweetheart
|
|
|
|
[Saturday
September 6th, 2008 at 10:45am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sad |
] |
I haven't updated in this thing in forever. But I have some things I desperately need to get off my chest, so I figured this was the best outlet short of calling my friends and whining like a loser.
So here it is: I am a slut when I drink. I am one of those girls that I hate more than anything. I'm a hypocrite and I swear it makes me sick to even think about it. I really think I need to either stop drinking completely or get a boyfriend, because this loneliness is obviously starting to get to me. I'm pretty sure I've hooked up with or at least kissed every single guy friend I have, and it bugs the shit out of me. It makes me hate myself, and that's not just a dramatic exaggeration. I literally wake up almost every morning after I drink with this sickening feeling of regret and humiliation because I know, I just know that they all run their mouths. I know how they talk about the other slags they've all hooked up with and now I feel like one of them. It's horrible. For example, Brady told everyone that we hooked up at Victoria's house. I almost threw up when Rich told me.
Ugh, Rich.
I think I told him I liked him last night. Or that I could like him. Something like that. It's not a lie but I'm just a social fucking retard. I'm glad that even wasted I had enough sense not to hook up with him beyond kissing. But it still doesn't make me feel any less like a tramp.
|
|
|
|
[Tuesday
June 17th, 2008 at 1:25am] |
|
( 25 Flavors )
|
|
|
|
[Thursday
May 15th, 2008 at 1:57am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 angry |
] |
He wants to know why I won't be his girlfriend again? You've got to be kidding me. I've been doing everything for that kid, treating him like gold and being there for him every fucking step of the way. And then he goes and hangs out with Rob for one night and when he finally decides to call me at 1:30, he sounds completely fucked up and he accuses me of being a bitch.
Fuck him. I'm not bothering anymore. Rob hasn't been there for one fucking step of his recovery thus far and he just shows up and everything's fine again?
Screw them both. I'm not doing it anymore.
|
|
|
| Woah. |
[Saturday
May 3rd, 2008 at 2:18am] |
Sorry for neglecting you, journal. A brief update is in order, methinks.
1. The play went well. Saturday night Dave came to see me, but he could only stay for the first half of the show because his breathing got bad. I was glad he came though, it meant a lot.
2. Finals and papers are absolutely kicking my ass. I'm starting to worry that I might not do as well this semester as I'd hoped. Ugh, I'm just not a good student I guess.
3. RP is going well. I've taken on a lot more characters at Chesire that I'm excited for. :D
4. I miss my friends.
I'm too lazy to write more right now.
|
|
|
| Here We Go |
[Monday
April 21st, 2008 at 10:06am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
So begins Hell Week.
My Personality
| | Neuroticism | | Extraversion | | Openness to Experience | | Agreeableness | | Conscientiousness | |
| You very rarely feel depressed and are usually in a good frame of mind, however you feel strong cravings and urges that you have difficulty resisting. You tend to prefer short-term pleasures and rewards over long-term consequences. You lead a leisurely and relaxed life. You would prefer to sit back and smell the roses than indulge in high energy activities. Familiar routines are good, but sometimes you like to spice up your life with a bit of adventure or activity. You find helping other people genuinely rewarding and are generally willing to assist those who are in need. You find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice, however you are not adverse to confrontation and will sometimes even intimidate others to get your own way. You have a strong sense of duty and obligation, and feel a moral obligation to do the right thing.
| Take a Personality Test now or view the full Personality Report.
The best Ugg Boots. |
|
|
|
| The Road Is All |
[Sunday
April 20th, 2008 at 2:36am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
The fact that the semester is coming to an end is really exciting... I'm looking forward to this summer more and more. But right now, it's definitely crunch time. Finals, wrapping up my millions of observation reports, and making up last-minute papers has me stressed beyond belief. Add to that drama rehearsals (the show is in a week and is nowhere near ready) and Dave's recent accident and it's truly a miracle that I haven't had a mental breakdown and/or collapsed from exhaustion.
Today started with me waking up to the sound of my dad shampooing the carpets in the house. Random. But not as random as the fact that I got out of bed, walked right into the kitchen, grabbed the pledge and started dusting right away. I don't know why. Then after everything was dusted and windex-ed, my mom made me an omelet and coffee for breakfast, I got dressed and headed to rehearsal. We painted the sets today, and I have to say they looked pretty damn good. We also got our headshots taken, and I'm pretty happy with how mine turned out! We even took a family photo of the McAfees, and it was adorable.
After rehearsal, Erin called me and asked me if I wanted to go to the mall with her. Since I was in need of a few more things for my costumes, I said yes and my mom gave me money because I'm so poor and we went. I ended up getting the cutest pair of white heels, I absolutely love them and they were only 26 bucks at Penny's! And I'll definitely wear them again after the play, so yay! The rest of the time was spent running from one end of the mall to the other trying to find Erin something to wear to her god-son's baptism tomorrow.
Dave's doing much better. They moved him to a rehab facility but it's a nursing home too so he's pretty depressed, but he's still making great improvements every day. I went and saw him tonight after the mall. When I got there I realized that beyond giving me directions to the place, Dave's dad had failed to give me a room-number or the visiting hours and naturally his mom wasn't answering her phone. So I walked in and approached these two ladies who were talking down the hall and asked if they could help me find David. The referred to him as the 'young guy on D', and I just sort of nodded because how many young guys can there be in a place packed full of sick old people? She told me that they were closed and visiting hours were over, but agreed to let me poke my head in and say hi. So she walks me to the room, opens the door and I see Dave asleep and his mom jolting awake from where she'd obviously passed out in a chair in the corner. I felt terrible, but after the nurse left me and Stephanie started talking and after I'd been there for about ten minutes or so Dave woke himself up in a coughing fit. He's having a lot of trouble breathing. :[ But he woke up and it was so nice to see him act more like himself. He's a bit depressed (who could really blame him?) but he smiled and joked around with us about his behavior while he was delirious; he was mortified when his mom told him that he'd grabbed her boobs. XD And he was like a little kid on Christmas when he showed me the new PSP and DS systems his parents bought for him. THe only thing that worried me a little was his left eye... it sort of swam outward from where he was supposed to be looking. But hopefully it'll correct itself.
My feet are cold and I have to be up early. I have to stop staying up so damn late.
|
|
|
| Be Still My Heart |
[Wednesday
April 16th, 2008 at 12:31am] |
|
This past week just flew. I feel like time should have slowed down, but instead it's going much too fast and blurring my days into one exhausted mess. School is definitely starting to get me down... I just feel like I'm in over my head and no matter how many papers I write, ten more pop up that I still have to do. I can't wait for this semester to just be over with.
Speaking of which, I completely forgot to sign up for my schedule today. Fuck.
Last night I hung out with Rob. We got high and watched Weeds.
And he kissed me.
Hey world, stop fucking with me. Thanks.
|
|
|
| How Am I Supposed To Feel? |
[Wednesday
April 9th, 2008 at 11:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
drained |
] |
I've been going to the hospital every day. Today was my first day not going, and during rehearsal I just started crying for no reason because I was so scared and kept thinking about last night. It was just such a rough night... it hurt to have him wake up and be himself only to lose it less than fifteen minutes later. He didn't know who I was at one point. He kept asking me what my rank was. And he was in so much pain... the way he was looking at me and begging me to help him, it killed me.
Today they took him into surgery for his shin and decided to work on his knee and thigh-bone while they were at it. And now they're saying that he might have had bleeding in his brain but it isn't bleeding anymore. It's freaking me out. The last time I talked to his mom was aroud five thirty. I asked her to call me back, but she didn't, and when I called on my way home her phone was off. I just get itchy and anxious not being there with him. And not knowing anything just makes it worse. I want him to wake up and know what's going on just so he stops fighting us and gives himself a chance to heal.
I need to go and see him tomorrow. I haven't seen my friends in over a week.
|
|
|
| Scar Sized "Extra-Large" |
[Sunday
April 6th, 2008 at 11:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
numb |
] |
I went upstate with my cousins this weekend and kissed the boy that took my cousin's virginity. Needless to say this added drama to a somewhat boring night. The kid is a total asshole.
On the way home I got a phonecall from Brian asking me if Dave was in the hospital. He'd heard that he'd gotten hit by a car. I laughed and told him no. David was leaving for the Marines tomorrow, he was fine, those were just rumors. But then I remembered that that was what I'd thought about D. And then Brian called me back and said that David was listed at Stonybrook in the OR.
He did get hit by a car. Last night, crossing Middle Country Road. The man was supposedly doing 65mph.
He broke two ribs.
He had to get staples in the back of his head and stitches in his left hand.
His left shin split through the skin and shattered so badly that he's missing two inches of bone.
His right ankle snapped and had to have a pin put in it, and his right thigh bone, which is supposedly the hardest bone in the human body to break and also the most painful, snapped three inches above the knee.
His pelvis is broken on both the left and right sides, and just below his spine.
I went and held his hand. He woke up and seemed to calm down when he saw me, but he was saying some pretty outlandish things because of all the pain medication and the shock he was in. By the end of the night he was more coherent, but he was crying and begging his mother and me to help him because he was hurting so badly. I wanted to vomit.
I need sleep. I have a lot of observations to catch up on, and I'm going to the hospital tomorrow to see him again.
|
|
|
