HAIRBRUSH

Baiting her was the easy part. All anyone really had to do was say something inappropriate, like sexual things or curse words, and she'd come running--brush in hand.

"MAMA'S GOING TO MAKE HER CHILLEN BEHAVE," she'd wail as she ran, all pink and glitter in the blur that flashed by plenty of students as they shied away from the whirlwind she'd become.

Chase Harper, however, happened to find the whole situation hilarious. Very, very hilarious. "Oy! Mama! Over here!"

Mama stopped dead, hairbrush aloft, and squinted her eyes at the boy who wasn't technically doing anything, but might consider doing something horrible. She considered the opportunity for awhile before trotting over, her high heels obviously gave her the extra bounce. Chase could barely control his laughter. "Hey, Mama," he cooed. "Lookin' goooood."

"Mama looks very nice today, Chillen. She did her hair and her nails and you best be respectin' Mama, boy."

Chase slowly started to back away. "Oh, I'll be respectin' Mama all night!"

She saw her chance flash by and she swung the brush, missing by inches. "You stay put, boy! Mama's going to beat to disrespect out of you!"

And then she chased him, a crazy 'woman' in a flamboyant dress with the most ridiculous shoes and some hideous make-up. Everyone knew that beneath the dress was obviously a billywigged Muggle Studies teacher who usually didn't have more fun than he could possibly stand for one day. And yet, here he was, chasing everyone around with a hairbrush and calling himself Mama.

Chase disappeared into a room and Mama stopped dead in the hall, looking around to find where he'd gone. She saw a better opportunity as Theo Chastain walked by. "Now, now, girl, you told Mama you would accept your punishment."

Theo looked hard pressed to run away. But she didn't. Instead, she put her hands up in defense. "Mama, I--"

WHACK.

"Ouch!" she jumped, holding a hand to her butt. "Fuck me, that hurt! Mr. Kent, would you stop it? You're our teacher!!"

"Do not use such CRUDE language around Mama, Chillen! Repent!"

WHACK.

"OUCH!"

"STOP!!" screamed Chase as he ran onto the scene, dressed completely as a woman--right down to the pantyhose, jello boobs, and underwear. His hair was done much better than Mr. Kent's, if only because he'd had plenty of practice at being a girl. One of these days, he truly was going to convince someone he wasn't a boy.

Theo took it as a good excuse to escape with Lazarus.

"You just made Mama very angry, boy. Did you forget your manners? Mama will have to teach you all over again."

"No!" he waved his own hairbrush now. "MAMA will have to teach YOU how to behave all over again!!"

They charged. Teacher fighting student, student fighting teacher. They were a tangled of fake hair, dresses, lady shoes, and hairbrushes. Mama shrieked in rage and Chase wailed in fake pity. They continued to fight for the better part of fifteen minutes before Mama decided she'd had enough.

"Now, Chillen!" she addressed the room. "You all best be behavin' or Mama will be back."

Chase started to follow, but she ran away as quickly as her little shoes could take her. And he bowed to the small audience that had formed. "You can see our show at 10, half past five, and seven. Thank you! Now, if you'll kindly leave a tip...."