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5/4/12 04:39 pm - Break up

The day she broke up with me:
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As of today Taikichan, Vicky, and I a broke up. Terrible timing too. What had started this was a dream I had about a black snake biting my left hand in between my thumb and index finger. It did talk to me without talking, but I can't recall what it said. And I felt like I knew this snake and it knew me.

And as of late she had gotten quiet again so I texted her asking if anything was wrong since she had been so quiet.  After a few hours she replied stated there was. And small talk that wasn't important followed until she wanted to state what the issue was. This is how the conversation went.

Vicky: So...I've been thinking and I'm pretty pissed off. When I was going to Sakura Con before I got sick, it was a trip to see you and we just happen to be going together. But this trip...It's like the con is more important to. You haven't even invited me to go with you, I mean, it's like we could spend the weekend together and I'm just an after thought. I'm only 15 mins away and it's really not sitting right with me.
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(I hadn't even realized she felt like this. Or that she wanted to go. I mainly didn't ask cause I didn't know her work times and thought it would be pushy to ask.)
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Me:I don't mean to make it seem that way at all. I'm super sorry I've been making you feel like that!!!! I sometimes have issues balancing on what I'm excited for. Despite how it does seem you are always my first thought. All the plans to see you have been over the con.

Vicky: To be honest, I've felt like this about a lot of things lately. I've been working my ass off trying to get my life together and I'm getting too old to keep waiting around for you to do the same. You seem to care more about anime and online and games than trying to get a job and stuff so we can like be...Be together. This is really really hard for me to say, and I  really don't want to hurt you but... I just haven't  been happy lately. I know I'm echoing your parents about the job and stuff and the last thing I want to do is make you feel how they do, but I have to think about myself sometimes too. I feel like I've changed a lot in the last 2 years, and I'm not the same person I was before. We don't even have much in common anymore besides sailor moon. And even there we have difference in opinions."

Me: I haven't really been that focused on  anime or game stuff as of late. This move has been a real wake up call for me. I may not always say it online, but I am looking for a job, it's just a matter of finding one. But if it makes you happier be free to break up with me since I'm clearly not enough. Just send the key chain back.

Vicky: "I'm sorry. I really don't want to hurt you. I just feel like we're not on the same wavelength anymore. You're still a beautiful and sweet girl, we're just at different places in our lives right now, I hope you can understand this is not out of malice or to purposely hurt you. I've put at lot of thought into this. I just need to concentrate on other stuff right now too. My upcoming 30th birthday has been a wake up call to me as well. I need to get my own shit together and I only have so much emotional strength. I hope you can  find someone who is  a better position to take care of you, because I simply can't right now. I think it will be better fo both of us."
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While I can understand why she chose to do this it really is poorly timed. And not fair on my end since I was making an effort to meet her and was even moving down there. I am also a little pissed she assumed some of this stuff about me instead of asking. Hato arranged this trip in the first place so Vicky and I could meet. And the con was just something for her and I to do that she paid for. Is it really so wrong for me to get excited about meeting some movie actors and an author I've admired since I was a child? I only stated mire con related stuff cause I have an Aunt and a friend of my that are against homosexual relationships that's why to an extent I don't mention her too much on there.

I was always excited to meet her those celebrates were just a bonus. While anime is a hobby of mine I really don't focus that much on it as much as I did say like in high school. Sure I spend my free time online or gaming so what? I don't let the games consume me unless it happens to be something I like, like Batman. WoW is more of just a way to hang out with Hato as I see it. And I happen to like the story.

You don't see me complaining when she talks about Zuka stuff anymore.


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Letters that happened yesterday:

I ended up writing a farewell message to her. Stating things that had been bothering me about our relationship that I kept away form her cause I didn't want to cause her to have a panic attack or cause a fight. Since I have deleted her from my friends list I am free to post this as I please. This is what I stated to here since some of you are probably curious. I honestly doubt she'll even read it, but they were things I felt need to be addressed. And yes some it is a little angry toned, but Hato suggested last night that I do this to get it off my chest. And to close things off a lot better even if it is a bit bitter this way.

I am by no means trying to make her feel guilty either. Just trying to make some things she misunderstood a lot clearer. And things I had truly felt. And figures that I ended up crying all over again when writing it.

"Dear Vicky,

You know I've been doing some thinking of my own now that I've calmed down some what. You could have easily approached me with all of your issues a lot earlier. Or even when you were first starting to become unhappy. It's called talking things out something we use to do. But you practically gave me no choice, but to have us break up.

Heather was the one that invited me to go down there to the con in the first place even paying for the hotel and my ticket despite my offer to pay for it myself. Hell I didn't even want to go till she told me the location. You were the reason for me wanting to go in the first place. We were still even trying to figure out a way how to even get to Scottsdale and were going to spend more time with you than at the con.

I didn't even know your working hours and you didn't even show interest in the con. So I didn't ask not wanting to seem pushy.

Honestly it also pissed me off you assumed that I cared more about anime and games than getting a job. While I do admit to being lazy at first to getting one the trip to Arizona and the move there is really motivating me too. And it was because I wanted to be with you. But apparently I wasn't trying enough in your eyes.

Also you seem to forget we still do have some things in common besides Sailor Moon! But I'm not going to bother naming them cause you clearing don't remember them well enough. And another thing you seem to think I don't understand stuff when I'm more understanding than you clearly realize. You make me feel like a child when you say that shit. And I hate it.

I kept a lot of things that hurt me and pissed me off that you have done before to myself. Cause I didn't want to start a fight or give you a panic attack. The times you were silent made me worry and paranoid because of all the shit my sister and mom have been saying lately. I defended you so hard when they said that crap!

I often mentally fought with myself cause of that. My heart told me to trust you while my mind would say that they were right. Or worst that maybe you had found someone else. That part plagued me in nightmares.

With how all these issues you had with me all of the sudden is that seriously it? That you found someone local you liked and I was just in the way? You said it wasn't to mean, but it honestly made it seem like you really did find someone else or that I've just been some burden to you.

I felt this needed to be said before it ate away at me. It's a shame this had to end so bitterly with how dear you were to me.

Farewell,

Bonnie"

Her reply:
"I didn't approach you a lot earlier because I was scared to hurt you, so I pretended like everything was fine since I didn't know how to approach you. Simple as that.

Whether Heather invited you or not... you could have still invited me whether I showed interest or not... And if I was the real reason for that, I would think you would have. Scottsdale is not that far away. You told me you were going to "stop by work" one day and see me and that's all I knew of it.

Honestly, its been over 2 years... and when we started dating you were at least finishing up school, but now... it doesn't seem like you do anything. You never told me about jobs you applied for, or days you went out looking.

Sorry if you feel like I'm talking down to you or making you feel like a child, but really, I'm starting to feel the age difference, which is why I say we aren't on the same wavelength anymore. There are just some things we're obviously not seeing eye to eye on. And no, I don't remember other things we have in common.

You shouldn't have kept things I've done that pissed you off to yourself. If you're scared to talk to me, and I'm scared to talk to you, that just doesn't work. I really have changed a lot, especially since moving to AZ and getting on medication and getting healthier and rediscovering who I really am after being controlled from my previous relationship before you, that I just don't think we're compatible anymore and I have other priorities I'd rather concentrate on than a relationship that I'm unhappy with.

None of the issues I'm having are sudden. There are all things that have been building up and I had to get them out or it was just going to be worse for you and me. I'm really sorry I did that to you, but keeping you in the dark would have just made things worse.

I haven't found anyone else and I've never cheated on you. I just want to be alone right now. I'm sorry you're feeling bitter feelings towards me, I guess I deserve that. But I just want you to know I don't have any towards you and still care about you as a friend, I just don't feel we're destined for romance anymore. Again, I am sorry I hurt you, but I just need to do what's best for me. And this right now is what's best for me. I hope you can understand that.

I don't expect you to respond to this, in fact, I'd rather you didn't since it would just be beating a dead horse, I just hope this can give you a bit better understanding why I felt I had to end our relationship."
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Sadly I think this shows how much she didn't really know me after all. And makes it more suspious that she may have found someone. And some things she stated in the whole break up bs kinda sounded odd too. Especially the Sailor Moon thing.

4/16/12 11:59 pm

Congratulations! I’m Prefect Robert Hilliard, and I’m delighted to welcome you to RAVENCLAW HOUSE. Our emblem is the eagle, which soars where others cannot climb; our house colours are blue and bronze, and our common room is found at the top of Ravenclaw Tower, behind a door with an enchanted knocker. The arched windows set into the walls of our circular common room look down at the school grounds: the lake, the Forbidden Forest, the Quidditch pitch and the Herbology gardens. No other house in the school has such stunning views.

Without wishing to boast, this is the house where the cleverest witches and wizards live. Our founder, Rowena Ravenclaw, prized learning above all else – and so do we. Unlike the other houses, who all have concealed entrances to their common rooms, we don’t need one. The door to our common room lies at the top of a tall, winding staircase. It has no handle, but an enchanted bronze knocker in the shape of an eagle. When you rap on the door, this knocker will ask you a question, and if you can answer it correctly, you are allowed in. This simple barrier has kept out everyone but Ravenclaws for nearly a thousand years.

Some first-years are scared by having to answer the eagle’s questions, but don’t worry. Ravenclaws learn quickly, and you’ll soon enjoy the challenges the door sets. It’s not unusual to find twenty people standing outside the common room door, all trying to work out the answer to the day’s question together. This is a great way to meet fellow Ravenclaws from other years, and to learn from them – although it is a bit annoying if you’ve forgotten your Quidditch robes and need to get in and out in a hurry. In fact, I’d advise you to triple-check your bag for everything you need before leaving Ravenclaw Tower.

Another cool thing about Ravenclaw is that our people are the most individual – some might even call them eccentrics. But geniuses are often out of step with ordinary folk, and unlike some other houses we could mention, we think you’ve got the right to wear what you like, believe what you want, and say what you feel. We aren’t put off by people who march to a different tune; on the contrary, we value them!

Speaking of eccentrics, you’ll like our Head of house, Professor Filius Flitwick. People often underestimate him, because he’s really tiny (we think he’s part elf, but we’ve never been rude enough to ask) and he’s got a squeaky voice, but he’s the best and most knowledgeable Charms master alive in the world today. His office door is always open to any Ravenclaw with a problem, and if you’re in a real state he’ll get out these delicious little cupcakes he keeps in a tin in his desk drawer and make them do a little dance for you. In fact, it’s worth pretending you’re in a real state just to see them jive.

Ravenclaw house has an illustrious history. Most of the greatest wizarding inventors and innovators were in our house, including Perpetua Fancourt, the inventor of the lunascope, Laverne de Montmorency, a great pioneer of love potions, and Ignatia Wildsmith, the inventor of Floo powder. Famous Ravenclaw Ministers for Magic include Millicent Bagnold, who was in power on the night that Harry Potter survived the Dark Lord’s curse, and defended the wizarding celebrations all over Britain with the words, ‘I assert our inalienable right to party'. There was also Minister Lorcan McLaird, who was a quite brilliant wizard, but preferred to communicate by puffing smoke out of the end of his wand. Well, I did say we produce eccentrics. In fact, we are also the house that gave the wizarding world Uric the Oddball, who used a jellyfish for a hat. He’s the punch line of a lot of wizarding jokes.

As for our relationship with the other three houses: well, you’ve probably heard about the Slytherins. They’re not all bad, but you’d do well to be on your guard until you know them well. They’ve got a long house tradition of doing whatever it takes to win – so watch out, especially in Quidditch matches and exams.

The Gryffindors are OK. If I had a criticism, I’d say Gryffindors tend to be show-offs. They’re also much less tolerant than we are of people who are different; in fact, they’ve been known to make jokes about Ravenclaws who have developed an interest in levitation, or the possible magical uses of troll bogies, or ovomancy, which (as you probably know) is a method of divination using eggs. Gryffindors haven’t got our intellectual curiosity, whereas we’ve got no problem if you want to spend your days and nights cracking eggs in a corner of the common room and writing down your predictions according to the way the yolks fall. In fact, you’ll probably find a few people to help you.

As for the Hufflepuffs, well, nobody could say they’re not nice people. In fact, they’re some of the nicest people in the school. Let’s just say you needn’t worry too much about them when it comes to competition at exam time.

I think that’s nearly everything. Oh yes, our house ghost is the Grey Lady. The rest of the school thinks she never speaks, but she’ll talk to Ravenclaws. She’s particularly useful if you’re lost, or you’ve mislaid something.

I’m sure you’ll have a good night. Our dormitories are in turrets off the main tower; our four-poster beds are covered in sky blue silk eiderdowns and the sound of the wind whistling around the windows is very relaxing.

And once again: well done on becoming a member of the cleverest, quirkiest and most interesting house at Hogwarts.

4/10/12 08:46 pm - Fever

Taiki staggered into the room his vision seeming to double. Oh what a headache he had. Trying to focus he headed towards the couch seeing Yui and Yaten going over something.

“You’re right it does work better as piano here. I’ll have to change that when I get home.” Yui stated looking at the sheet music and placing a sticky note on the part.

“What are you two going over?” Taiki asked

“A little project of mine.” Yui answered looking over at him. “Yaten’s helping me with the right tone for it since it’s been so long since I’ve written a song.”

The brunette pouted, “I could have helped you with that.”

Sweat beaded on the blonde’s face, “Well Seiya stated you weren’t feeling good so I asked Yaten instead. I didn’t want to trouble you with this.”

Yaten sighed, “You should go back to bed Taiki. You need all the rest you can get.”

“I agree with Yaten.  You look like you need it.” Yui said getting up to help motion him back towards his room.

He then flopped into her, leaning his head between her neck and shoulder. Yui’s cheeks went pink thanks to the close contact. “If Yuichan is my nurse I’ll get better a lot faster. “

“H-How would I even make a difference? I’d do nothing different from what Yaten or Seiya would do.” She stuttered.

“Are you truly that blind little Yuichan?” He inquired, with a little chuckle.

Yaten’s eyes widened at Taiki’s statement, the fever must’ve been higher than he and Seiya thought.  Especially with how honest he was being. Though it now confirmed their suspicion they had for months on how Taiki felt.

“Blind to what exactly?” Yui questioned in return, her cheeks growing brighter with his hot breath on her neck.

He moved his head away from where it had laid taking one of her hands into his placing it onto his chest. “This belongs to you.”

He then gently kissed the same hand looking up at her. To his surprise he saw tears tricking down her cheeks.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He stated.

“Don’t apologize…I was just overwhelmed with joy it came out of my eyes.” Yui replied.”…No one has ever meant it when they said it to me before.”

Taiki only smiled kissing her cheek. “You should get to bed though mister. I will not have you stressing your body out with that high fever of yours.” She scolded.

Yaten couldn’t help chucking seeing the look of defiance Taiki tried giving her.

“I know of a good way to sweat out my fever Yuichan.” Taiki stated with a mischievous grin.

Another blush crept upon her cheeks again. “Ha. Not while you’re sick. Now to bed and I’ll at least bring you a cold patch.”

The brunette pouted, but obeyed. Yui sighed. “Is he always this open when sick?”

Another chuckle escaped Yaten, “Not really. Unless it’s a fever he’s pretty normal. “

Yui then looked at her hand smiling, “Do you think he’ll remember what he said?”

Yaten shrugged. “Who knows. If he doesn’t, don’t take it to heart. His feelings were genuine there so you do know what he feels, even if he doesn’t remember confessing. ” He put a hand on her shoulder, “If he does remember expect him to be a little more flirtatious.”

She nodded, “So are there cold patches in his room?”

“Yeah. They should be on his dresser.”

“Thanks. I think I’m going to go play nursemaid till I have to head home.”

3/13/12 01:03 pm - Rain

The score board was something that was dreaded by nearly everyone, save for the overachievers. They seemed to love seeing where they placed hoping to top the class. With Taiki and Ami in the same class that was unlikely, though it didn’t stop some form trying just for the bragging rights. A loud groan came from the large group hovering over the board.  To no one’s surprise Taiki read number one and Ami number two.

 

Soon the coward parted so a petite blonde finally had the chance to see her own score.  Her feet going up ever so slightly, so she could get a better look.  She frowned at her placement.

“Number four again. Why must I get the unlucky number?” She grumbled to herself.

She didn’t mind being high on the charts, but getting the number of death was never pleasant. Her mood went even more downward when she saw her placement in math. 

“Twenty-eight!? Oh dear I’m worst at it than I thought. I thought I at least scored better than that. I even studied.” She groaned.

“Ah, Kurosan just the person I wanted to talk to.” A feminine voice stated.

The blonde turned, seeing no other than her math teacher. “What do you need of me Junko-sensei ?”

Beads of sweat were starting to build on Yui’s face, this teacher always made her nervous.

“With how your scores have been lately, I’m arranging for one of the other students to be your tutor. You can come out now.” Ms. Junko stated, motioning for someone to come forward. A very tall brunette now stood beside the older woman.

Sweat now dripped down one of Yui’s cheek, recognizing who was stating before her.  "Shit." Yui thought, "If the rest of the girls in class find out I’ll be eaten alive…Or worst they’ll try to convert me."

“Is something wrong Yui-san?” The brunette asked.

Yui waved her hands in front of her laughing nervously. “Nothing’s wrong at all. Just embarrassed you had to find out about my math issues.”

Taiki raised an eyebrow not buying her full story. “Well shall we arrange some good times to meet?”

“I’ll leave you two to discuss this in private.” And then the older woman was gone.

An auditable sigh escaped Yui, “I guess any day I’m not working would be good.  Now the issue is your house or mine.”

Taiki was silent for a moment thinking, “Mine isn’t exactly quiet. Yaten and Seiya have both in bad moods lately.”

“Oh. I see.” She replied, her feet and hands fidgeting, “I guess we could try my house then.”

“If it makes things easier I could give you a ride home so we could start.” He offered.

A tint of pink rushed onto Yui’s cheeks, her fingers now twisting some of the locks of her hair. And then went to the motion of straighten her skirt as she tried to think of how to word her answer. She’d never been in someone else’s car before let alone had a guest at the house.

 Breaking his more serious upfront for a moment he smiled see how flustered she was at his offer. Flustered girls were something he didn’t see too often, when towards himself. Most of the fans kept their distance from him flocking to the more charisma Seiya and Yaten. He partly wondered if this why Seiya liked coming off as a player, despite being far from it.

Something with the woman before him was different than what the fangirls were, different than his friendly rivalry with Ami. Dare he even think it was truly the most different than with his precious Kakyuuhime? What it was he couldn’t really place, but she always seem to find a way to put him at ease, even when flustered herself.

“A ride home would be nice. It looks like it’s starting to rain.” Yui said at last, shattering the silence.

Taiki looked out the now tear stained window, “So it is. Well perhaps we should hurry then. “

“Yes, let’s.”

Once they reached the door it was pouring in sheets.  Both sighed their breaths little wisps on the little wind that blew. Yui dug into her school bag pulling out an umbrella.

“You better be sharing that.” Taiki stated seeing her opening in.

“Now why would I do that? You’re not wearing white.” She huffed, avoiding his eyes.

A playful smile curled his lips, “Then I might have to give you a hug when I am all wet from the rain.”

Yui glared at him, knowing he would. “Fine.” She growled handing him the umbrella.

Taiki thanked her and motioned for her to come closer so they both wouldn’t get wet.

As they walked together, Yui paused looking at the flowers than had been planted in the parking lot. She then looked upwards at the raining flooded clouds as it continued to drizzle. Her hair was already soaked from the downpour causing little droplets to fall giving the illusion she was crying. Taiki’s and her eyes met as she came back under the umbrella.

“Taiki, why does the sky cry? Is it moved by the beauty it helps to create? Or does it weep knowing it can never touch the earth, its tender and sweet love?”

He closed his eyes for moment listening to the rain and then met her eyes again. “Perhaps it’s a little of both. Come now, we best be off or we’ll both catch a cold in this weather.”

She nodded and said nothing more watching things go by when they were in the car. Rain wasn’t normally so calming for her since storms normally followed. But today it seemed to add to the peaceful atmosphere she sensed when around Taiki. It was comfortable, yet vaguely familiar.

Their study session, however, didn’t last long ending in laughter as Taiki’s stomach had growled demanding to be fed. When Yui had left the room to cook them a hot meal, Taiki’s phone rang. He sighed knowing it was Seiya.

“So how goes the tutoring?”

“It’s not at the moment. We stopped to eat.”

“Ah, I see. You seem a little more open today. Did something happen between you two?”

“Not that I’m aware of. We’ve just talked really.”

“What about that feeling you get? Did it happen again?”

“Let’s not discuss that for now. I’ll tell you later. Anything else you need?”

“No, just checking in on you. Well I should start doing my own homework. Bye.”

Taiki rolled his eyes and closed the phone.

The scent of miso was now spreading through the house, “I hope you don’t mind miso with tofu.” She called.

He walked over to the kitchen leaning against one of the counters, “Sounds good to me. Anything I can do to help?”

“Umm yes, you can chop those scallions.” Yui replied, chopping up the tofu into small squares.

“This feeling again,” Taiki thought while chopping.  “This warmth when I’m with her. It feels so unfamiliar to what I am now, yet I know it as if I’ve lived in it before.”

“Taikikun, the scallions please.” Yui said, disrupting him from his thoughts.

“Oh right, sorry.” He replied, handing her the cutting board so she could pour it in the stew.

Not too long afterward the stew was ready and their stomachs satisfied. Yui then took this opportunity to change out of her school uniform into something more comfortable. Taiki half felt she was trying to find any excuse to not go over the math. Once she returned they did start going over the math again, much to his relief.

“…Are you wearing perfume?” He asked, picking up a scent he didn’t recall being their previously.

“No. I am wearing some lotion though. ” She answered.

“Oh. Sorry, I just smelt patchouli and lotus normally those are used for perfumes.” Taiki commented.

“Well it is a lotion that came with a perfume I have. Maybe that’s why. I believe the scents in it are patchouli and lotus. Do you not like it?” Yui inquired.

“It’s not that I don’t like it. More of the scent just caught me off guard.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Yui stated, looking down.

“Nothing to be sorry for. It’s at least a pleasant scent. Unlike some of those scents Seiya has worn.” Taiki replied with a deep frown at the memory.

Yui couldn’t help giggling, “Must be quite a strong smell with that expression.”

“You have no idea.  Even Yaten thought it was awful.”

More giggles escaped from Yui, “I like it when you’re open like this. You always seem so distant.”

“And I like it when you smile genuine like this. It suits you more than those fake smiles you put on at school.” Taiki retorted.

A light blush crept to Yui’s cheeks again. “You could tell? For how long?”

“I’ve always been able to tell. It’s your eyes that always give it away.” He answered, brushing some hair out of her face, “Such pretty eyes shouldn’t look so sad.”

Her cheeks turned a brighter pink, such compliments she wasn’t use to. Yet she couldn’t find herself looking away from his. It was like they drew her in. They stayed like that in silence as if each trying to read what the other was thinking. A crash of thunder broke the silence. Yui yelped and ended up clinging to Taiki.

“I think that’s enough studying for the evening. We’re not going to get anything done with that noise.” He stated with a sigh.

“Please stay.” Yui whispered, a hand tightly gripping onto his shirt.

He said nothing and stroked her hair his other arm around her protectively. To help soothe her he began humming.

Several house later Yui’s mother came home smiling seeing both asleep on the couch. Gently she put a blanket over the two whispering, “Thanks for keeping her safe for me.”

11/25/11 08:16 pm

Ugh...my sister just had to start drama over a harmless status update on facebook. I am not asking anyone that's on my facebook to reply mind you. I just have to vent the stupidity of it all.

Purple = Me
Blue = My sister
any other colors = others that have replied
[] My thoughts with it
---------------
My status as of Yesterday: "I completely forgot to mention something I was thankful for this year. O.o
 
Hmm besides my love and awesome friends. I would say my cousin Jessica for her supporting me and Vicky  being together unlike my sister whom has to question it."


Charree: Not that I need to get into the great debate & start crap with you on FB, but apparently you do not appreciate me for being a caring sister who only is trying to look out for your best interests. I never said that I didnt accept it I question because you havent met face to face & I never see anything on her wall that you two are an item.Irregardless of how you might think that I am, I am still your sister & I do care about you, but you really dont need to post things like this that hurt my feelings because you want to be so mean.

[...Wtf?!  How does that even sound insulting? Where the hell did I say anything about not appreciating you and all that other crap?!]

Me: It's not that I "don't appreciate" and trust me you're not as caring as you think you are. If you cared as much as you say you do you wouldn't question it, and just be happy for me!
 
Just because she doesn't have anything about us on FB doesn't mean shit. Plus she doesn't exactly have internet connections at the moment anyway if you must know. And I wasn't putting it to be mean it's a fact. The way you ACT and the shit you SAY makes you extremely unsupportive even if you don't think so. You hurt me with your words all the time, but not once have you ever said sorry. Instead you decide to start drama out of anything I say in return. This why we can never get along, you want us to so bad, however you always find ways to fuck it up. Hence why I don't bother anymore cause I know this is how it is going to be.


Charree: Give it a rest. I think you need to look in the mirror and realize its you & your actions that make this hard. I hve nothing to be sorry about because at least I tell it like it is & not sugarcoat things to protect your feelings. You aren't 12! Grow the fuck up already, get a damn job & move out! You are almost 23 & you dont go anywhere or want to do anything! You liked to make so much fun of me when I gained weight & now look who's getting big herself! Its cuz you dont do anything! I am done! Do not respond to me!

[Yeah. That's complete bullshit right there. You obviously weren't thinking of all the hurtful things you've said to me in the past year let alone the majority of my life. Yet you call me the immature one? Even Jessica said you act childish and selfish, this just kinda proves her point. Also I don't mock you for your weight that often...if at all. I really only do it on the rare occasion I do is because it's bullshit on how much you lost or you're making fun of mom when she's thinner than you.]

[info]yen_sama : I remember when I got into a relationship with a girl once, my mom kept saying stuff like what your sister says. It just sucks when relatives don't wanna be there for you and support your happiness. Sorry you have to go through this. Also, " I never see anything on her wall that you two are an item." isn't really a good excuse to be skeptical, especially because of the nature of the relationship. She might not have outed herself yet, and is apprehensive about the possible reaction her acquaintances may have. Plus, she lives in a red state in the south. Maybe you should take that into consideration before a LGBT person from the south refuses to advertise themselves

Aunt Rose: Bonnie just be happy with whoever you are with enjoy your life to the fullest


Charree: Okay this is insane...i have a lot of gay & lesbian friends! I used to go clubbing with my best friend Cliff all the time to gay bars in Seattle! i am the last person you should ever question to not support you in what you want to be. I went to battle for you with your dad for being a lesbian! So everyone do not make me out to be the hater you so think i am! I helped raise this girl and i want her to be happy to be with or who she is but I want what is best and do not want her to get hurt like i did with a lot of guys i dated when i was her age. So there Bonnie..if that aint support then you have bigger issues and you need help!

[...Right. That's kinda one of the oldest excuses in the book even if it's true. Also Mom and Dad confirmed your "battle" with dad never happened. On another note I am bisexual, there is a difference. Are you sure you're not the one that needs help?]

Hato: I'm with you Bonnie, I'm thankful for everyone who has supported me with my love Branden, even though he lives in NY. It feels good when you've got people that have your back in long distance relationships. May you two have a long and happy relationship together! ^_^
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So yeah, at the advice of my 'rents and Hato I am not replying at all and just sticking with the one I stated. I felt I made my point with it even if it came off as a little harsh. I just had to share with how outrageous this turned out from something not even the least bit insulting nor implied to be insulting.
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10/29/11 05:23 pm - Grandma makes a visit

Well here's something spooky. On the anniversary of my grandma dying (It was 4 years on Thursday) at 3am my mother's alarm clock went off. You think that would be nothing, but the thing is not only was that the exact time my grandmother passed, my mother had not set her alarm at all. And at that same time I was still up gaming with Hato and got super cold like the heat had been off and couldn't seem to get warm.

Then my mom called my aunt about it and found out Auntie Kathy had woken up 3am her time (she lives in Florida so 3hr dif) and her alarm had been set for 4am and was chilled. Mom then found out today Charree (my sister) had also been woken up by it and was cold and so she put some extra blankets on, not too long after she woken up suffocating from the heat and her blankets had been tucked in; She nor Loren (hubby) had not done this to the blankets. 

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10/10/11 03:47 pm - My gods America is getting stupider every year I swear!


Originally posted by gabrielleabelle on LJ at Mississippi Personhood Amendment
Okay, so I don't usually do this, but this is an issue near and dear to me and this is getting very little no attention in the mainstream media.

Mississippi is voting on November 8th on whether to pass Amendment 26, the "Personhood Amendment". This amendment would grant fertilized eggs and fetuses personhood status.

Putting aside the contentious issue of abortion, this would effectively outlaw birth control and criminalize women who have miscarriages. This is not a good thing.

Jackson Women's Health Organization is the only place women can get abortions in the entire state, and they are trying to launch a grassroots movement against this amendment. This doesn't just apply to Mississippi, though, as Personhood USA, the group that introduced this amendment, is trying to introduce identical amendments in all 50 states.

What's more, in Mississippi, this amendment is expected to pass. It even has Mississippi Democrats, including the Attorney General, Jim Hood, backing it.

The reason I'm posting this here is because I made a meager donation to the Jackson Women's Health Organization this morning, and I received a personal email back hours later - on a Sunday - thanking me and noting that I'm one of the first "outside" people to contribute.

So if you sometimes pass on political action because you figure that enough other people will do something to make a difference, make an exception on this one. My RSS reader is near silent on this amendment. I only found out about it through a feminist blog. The mainstream media is not reporting on it.

If there is ever a time to donate or send a letter in protest, this would be it.

What to do?

- Read up on it. Wake Up, Mississippi is the home of the grassroots effort to fight this amendment. Daily Kos also has a thorough story on it.

- If you can afford it, you can donate at the site's link.

- You can contact the Democratic National Committee to see why more of our representatives aren't speaking out against this.

- Like this Facebook page to help spread awareness.

5/21/11 09:06 pm - sums up my thoughts of the day


4/25/11 06:25 pm - Sakura Con 2011 report

Been home for about a few hours now, took the 180 home. Feels good to be able to wrap up in my own blankets with Luke again.

Friday:
Got up around 8:30am to get myself already to head out to the con around 10 with mom. Or at least that had been the plan. Hato texted me letting me know that the room wasn't yet and the earliest we could check in would be 1pm. Great. But much to my surprise as I was eating my breakfast Hato texted me again saying her friend Ashely could give me a ride to Seattle.  By this time it was around 9 something. Mom okayed it since that made it easier for her.

Ashely had been nice enough to let us keep our stuff in their hotel room and offered us a ride to the hotel when it was time. When that time came around after I had got my ticket she basically bailed on us. Leaving us to find our own way to the hotel with 50lb suitcases to carry around. About an hour or two later of getting lost we found the hotel and found out it wasn't really that far from the con.

Needless to say we were still rather pissed at Ashely for abandoning us like that especially when her and Skyler, the owner of the truck offered. And even said if he couldn't take us he would give Ashely the keys. But noooo Ashley's other friends were way more important that Heather and I. Those two hadn't seen each other in 8 years and this is how she treats Heather it makes me so mad. And she ignored Heather all three days pretty much hurting Heather's feelings pretty bad. When we did get to the hotel we changed into our swim suits and soaked in the hottub since we went up and down hills with our luggage when we got lost.  And then swam for a bit in the heated pool.

Con wise nothing was much done since we were so focused on finding the hotel. We did go back to meet up with [info]lunapitty and for the Exist†trace concert, which was awesome. My crazy Usagi unfortunatily ended up seeing me on the escalator and said hi to me in a rather creepy way that even freaked Heather out a little.

My camera has amazing survival skills. It was pretty much dead when they did their last song, but stayed alive even after they finished until I hit stop.

Hato and I went to McDonald's afterward to eat and then went to Barns N Nobles since she had to got to the bathroom. I bought a hardback comic version of The Last Unicorn. The art in in it's gorgeous!

Saturday:
We got the "pleasure" of being awoken  by our neighbors having sex. More so a constant bam bam and slight moaning on the other side of the wall. We were so pissed. I at least bammed really hard on the wall to signify how loud they were and it instantly stopped. I hope I killed their mood to be honest. 6-8am is too fucken early to be having sex. Assholes.

Explored the vendor area for a bit I bought a Zorua plusie which I have named after my fox character Yoru. Mainly cause I see it as him as a Pokemon. XD Hato and I got some "friendship keys" since we lost the ones from when we were kids. It's basically our best friend thing. Bought the special item for [info]midoriseppen which will be shipped off tomorrow.

We went to a q and a for Exist†trace to kill time before the Q&A started we had a little photoshoot with [info]lunapitty which was pretty fun. The Q&A was really short though though the reason for that will have to remain underwraps or it will ruin a surprise for [info]midoriseppen Hato and I got her something special and personal which will be with my photo and video entry since I don't want to make this too huge.

Had an awesome and hilarious phone conference with [info]midoriseppen Best part of Saturday I feel. Plus she snorted which was adorable. <3 Hato and [info]midoriseppen got along great which made me quite happy. Hato approves of [info]midoriseppen, infact she loved hanging out with [info]lunapitty too.  She even sees why I see[info]lunapitty as a big sister. [info]lunapitty at least blocked visual of me when she and Hato noticed my Usagi coming our way so I wasn't seen.

I don't recall if we did anything else after that cause we pretty much passed out after we got back to the hotel after the conversation with [info]midoriseppen Though I didn't sleep very well do to waking up every hour.

Sunday:

Went to the con for a raffle didn't win. And then went to Pike Place Market we got some silly pins and sushi. Then lazed about the rest of the day while we finished packing.

3/10/11 07:52 pm - Update on the rib issue

Well after having Mom check out my ribs. They are defiantly bruised and I also pulled a muscle in there as well. ... Great.

It makes it so difficult to do lots of stuff even sit hurts a little now. This is going to be annoying while it heals.

3/1/11 03:04 am - Hato's Epic Failure at AIM!

Hato had the most epic fail moment just a few minutes ago. She was trying to make an AIM account and it kept working against her as did msn when she tried to confirm her email. And then all the user names she tried were already taken. And as a joke I suggested Hatofails and she used it thinking I was serious. And it worked.  So now her username on AIM is seriously now HatoFails.

We laughed so hard our stomachs hurt and we ended up crying. I may add I was the hearing end of her failing when she cussed out her computer for defying her will. And now Msn is working even more against her. Best laugh we've both had in a good while over the phone. I'm surprised she didn't snort loud enough for me to hear.
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