What little we know 'bout love...

You're nearly over the hill...

2009-07-16T02:48:02Z

Happy birthday, Landon.

What's it feel like to be old as fuck?

~~Oh, and Lu- burn in hell. Happy birthday, whore.~~

Dessert or Disaster?

2009-07-07T16:50:26Z

I fucking hate drawing in goddamn ink, because I always fucking end up smearing it with the side of my shitcocking hand. Even when I flip my shitwitching sketchbook upside down so I don't have to deal with the motherfucking wire spiral-y thing getting in my way, I still manage to fucking fuck it up.

And scissors! Man, fuck scissors! I always look like I'm having a damned seizure when I try to use the bitchfuckers, because I try to actually cut... but just end up opening the assfucking blades instead of making the proper dumbfuck shearing motion.

While we are at it- I hate twatwrenching can openers. Seeing as the stupidshit electrical one I bought from Goodwill broke, I now have to like fucking twist myself into a cocksucking fucking pretzel to use the goddamn manual one we've got here. I've tried to do it with my right hand, but it doesn't work because it's a fucking gypsycunt.

Fuck. My. Life.

Tuesday, July 7th.

Hm.

It's Jude's birthday today. Call me crazy, but I've never been able to get that date out of my head. I dunno why, it's not like I spent a million years with him; only celebrated his 21st birthday with him. Maybe it's just one of those things that I'll always remember. ...today being his birthday also means that it's the day the premonition I had will play out. I really doubt that I saw a premonition a year in advanced, but honestly I have no way of knowing that since I can no longer pinpoint when my visions are going to play out. No, no. It's happening today. I know it. Goddamnit!

She's going to fucking kiss him. She's going to fucking kiss him and tell him happy birthday. My best friend is going to fucking kiss my ex-boyfriend and tell him happy birthday. I knew Lucy was keeping something from me lately, but I could have never fathomed it was this! How could she do that to me!? At first I was worried that I still felt I had some 'possession' over Jude, but I... dunno. I don't think it's fucking that. I mean I still care about Jude, and always will... but I can't fucking goddamn fucking believe they'd do this! AND THEN LIE TO ME ABOUT IT!

[about half a page of writing that's been crossed out, a few curse words are visible]

Whatever. I don't really fucking care. They can go off and be fucking happy, and lie to me, and for all I care go jump off a damned bridge! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! BUT I DO CARE! WHY WOULD SHE LIE TO ME!? WHY WOULD SHE BREAK LIKE, BEST FRIEND CODE... AND THEN LIE TO ME ABOUT IT!? FUCK!!!!!

I don't care. I am going to force myself to not care about any of this.

-A

Wheee!

2009-07-01T00:48:40Z

Tomorrow! Tomorrow! Tomorrow! Tomorrow! Tomorrow!

ISSUE ONE OF MERC WITH A MOUTH COMES OUT! WHEN!? THAT'S RIGHT- TOMORROW!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Victor Gischler and Bong Dazo do him justice. Especially seeing as someone saw it fit to try and destroy my beloved Wade Wilson lately. Hint hint: I'm still going to hunt you down and flay you alive, Gavin Hood. You too, Ryan Reynolds. Your ears annoy me; go back to pissing off Parker Posey as Hannibal King, assfuckingdouchefucker.

I mean, wtf!? Deadpool... Weapon XI? Uhm, no!? That's almost as fucked up as saying Emma Frost is Kayla Silverfox's sister. Or how about let's throw in Sooraya? Yeah, because that TOTALLY makes sense! Of course she was in the same age range as Scott Summers and Emma Frost... when they were kidnapped by Weapon X... and then just managed to miraculously show up to be trained by tham under what would become Academy X. Yeah. Perfect sense. HOW CAN DEADPOOL BREAK THE FOURTH WALL AND TALK ABOUT HOW DOORKNOBS DON'T KILL PEOPLE, BUT HE DOES... IF HE HAS NO MOUTH!? OH MY FUCKING GOD! I WANT TO PUNCH BABIES! THAT MOVIE STILL PIOSSESFWE:IDSHKJLrnbl dskj;llelrwkrhlewfelfwefdsfffldslsdldfjlllkjlkjlsadfcsvdsjfnfdihfhefhuef!!!!!!!!

Ennywhoozles. Deadpool teaming up with his own zombified head from Marvel Zombies sounds good to me!

Holla.

Sigh...

2009-06-19T09:46:36Z

Why was I stuck with the family that I was? Can't I just have a normal family... one that isn't insane? Is that too much to ask for!?

I just got a call from Uncle Andrés. A very drunken Uncle Andrés, might I add. Now I understand that I don't have a normal sleep schedule, but figured that he might be asleep by now... you know seeing as he gets up at like seven in the morning to go to work.

Supposedly he and Aunt Sara want us to fly down there, and go with them to visit Valparaiso this summer. Or at least that's what I think he said, but I couldn't really understand him 'cause he was slurring his words AND speaking waaay too fast. He said he was going to call you, but I'm not sure if he'll actually remember this all in the morning or not, BUT! If he does, tell him you are taking summer classes or someshit and DO NOT MENTION THIS TO MOM AND DAD!

I am not looking for another 'fun-filled' family vacation- which you know they will want to do if they hear about this. I'm still reeling from when Amy, Mom, Dad, you and I went up to Myrtle Beach a few years ago. You do remember what happened in Myrtle Beach, right? Yeah. I really didn't think you'd forget that too quickly. And if that's not enough to not make you want to do this, do you remember when they came up and visited with Mark, Paola and Xavier? Yeah. No. I'd rather not have to put up with that side of the family. You know if we agreed to it, someone else would hear about it... and pretty soon it'd be a fucking Alkeinos family reunion.

So yeah, mention this to Mom and Dad- I will kill you in your sleep. I'll strangle you with unwashed pants. Don't put it past me.

Whatever you do! Do not answer phonecalls from Andrés or Sara! Or any member of the Alkeinos family that does not live within a 25-mile radius of the island! There is a conspiracy afoot!

HA HA HA HA HA!!!

2009-06-12T20:16:22Z

In case you were not in attendance to the Wando High School graduation ceremony today, or simply want to see that magnificent spill again, I have a video recording of the 2008-2009 valedictorian faceplanting as he walked off the stage after giving his speech.

It should be up on YouTube within the hour.

You're gonna be a star, Junior! An intarwubz star! I know I speak on behalf of the entire Alkeinos and Rhodestvenski families when I say how proud of you I am.

~~HAHAHAHAHA OMG SHIT WAS SO CASH!~~

Mr. Sinister is a drag queen.

2009-06-05T04:49:45Z

I ~~am an idiot~~ didn't mean to spring that on you like that. Dawn brought up the point when I was talking to her, and I figured I'd gauge your reaction of such... since it's something else we've never talked about. Not that I'm suggesting we go ahead and do that at all, I~~'m just an idiot~~ just wanted to know your thoughts on said subject.

I think it's safe to say that I got a little overzealous there. I mean, we just got engaged... and yeah. ~~We probably shouldn't~~ ~~I don't think~~ That probably isn't a subject that even needs to be touched, especially with all of this shit that's going on now.

~~And I know I could totally say this to your fucking face, but can't bring myself to do it. Why? Because I'm a pansy ass bitch.~~

You know how you've told me a million times before that I need to think before I speak?

...why have I never fucking listened to you?

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid fucking STUPID! ~~KIDS!?~~

Really, Alena? There are so many more important things going on right now, and you had to bring that up!? Oh my shitcocking godfucker. You. Are. An. Idiot.

End of discussion.

Blame it on the wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-what the FUCK!?

2009-06-01T02:44:41Z

I'm pretty sure I just got mean mugged by Jake Gyllenhaal, Ron Howard and Forest Whitaker in one five-minute period. And I would not be surprised if Samuel L. Jackson just stole my soul with those looks he was flashing errywhere. It's also my personal belief that T-Pain & Andy Samberg are better than T-Pain & Jamie Foxx.

Don't know what I'm talking about? Educate yourself here, bitches.

What the fuck has happened to the world? There's not nearly enough THC in my system to deal with this right now. Holy qweodiuhs!

EDIT;;

That plus the New Moon trailer (as seen here) ... ... ... I have lost all faith in humanity. Like srsly. :/

Wooow.

2009-05-25T00:03:12Z

So. I didn't want to actually bring this up, but I think I'm going to go fucking insane if I don't. I'm not trying to rub this in anyone's face - how happy I am - because that's not what I'm trying to do at all. I know that a lot of things have happened lately, and for some time there it almost felt wrong to laugh, but honestly, when I think about it

Lucy, I wanted to tell you... but then I didn't want to because of Sam. Does this make me a bad friend? I dunno. You said yourself that we needed to get married, or someshit. I can't remember exactly, and I REALLY hope you don't hate me. He asked, I said yes - like I told him I would - and yeah. I'm enga

~~We could all die at any second, especially with recent events coming into play. So I figured, why not make the best of the time I've got and~~

Marlie, you kinda knew about this. Well, you did know this was going to happen, but yeah, I'm engaged? And I knew about Dan. I wanted to tell you, but like, I dunno... it just didn't seem like my place to do so? Ugh, I'm sorry.

~~Fuck everything, I'm god damn e~~

~~Holy shit, what if my parents somehow see this? I still haven't told them. They are going to kill~~

~~Farmer. Braddock. I swear to fucking fuck, if you tell me father about this this- I will crucify you in the office at the tattoo shop with my new 9mags and croquet spikes~~

~~Guess what? Uhm, I'm gonna be Mrs. Alena Sher~~

I'm engaged.

I've got an idea...

2009-05-13T02:46:32Z

I think I'm going to go back to school. I've already got two semesters of community college under my belt... that's only like, a few more to go.

I think I want to be an art teacher. Could totally work.

Can't you just imagine it now? I'd be that cool art teacher that wears like wooden bracelets, sarongs and those hippie-ish leather sandals? Or I could be the art teacher that has tons of ear piercings and asks the students in class to address her by her first name, instead of Miss Alkeinos? Great. Mental. Image.

l o g o f p r e m o n i t i o n s.
Sunday May 10th, 2009 -
• Alvin bringing in groceries at the house, and bitching about how much he hates cabbage.
• Farmer and Thomas switching tee-shirts and giggling like idiots.
• Meredith and Seth drinking coffee and talking. Couldn't make out conversation.
• Kasey counting out pills of some sort.
• Some guy looking at something in a folder and smirking creepily. Can't make out what he's looking at.
• Marlie staring at something just out of view with an amused look on her face.
• Quentin and... oh, my. I thought we were done with sex premonitions, trusty brain o' mine? T.T
• Jude and Vera at dinner? Euw. Wtf? I really hope he's not actually doing anything with her. She's like a walking STD, or I'm sure she's got... something. I hate that stupid junkie bitch!
• Blonde girl - looks like she's maybe 15 or 16 - rolling her eyes as she talks to someone off-panel. All I can make out is, "You do realize that means the cat's going to want to kill it when it's born." LOLWUT?

Monday May 11th, 2009 -
• Logan and some girl that looks kind of familiar laying together.
• My boyfriend getting a call telling him that he's now officially a tool, employed by the Finance/Accounting division of Sprint/Nextel.
• Some guy with really short blonde hair and some guy with long-ish dark hair (looks like brothers?) talking about 'betties' behind the counter of some shop.
• Hawthorne talking to some big executive-type-looking guy about "What needs to be done."
• Angie and Mr. Samson flirting... in the teacher's lounge? Either way- Euw.
• Dan and Marlie; something about "long distance relationships don't work." ...shit.
• Lia arguing with another blonde about a shelf that still needs to be replaced.
• Nessa holding a baby. BIG SURPRISE THERE! At least the little parasite is cute.
• Poker game at some bar in town. (Eddie's? Possibly?) Couldn't really make out much, except for a woman's voice saying "You know you love me, you frugal bastard", and a male responding with "Keep thinking that, galley wench." Then they said something about a fishing trip. ...okay?

Tuesday May 12th, 2010 -
• Some show at The Oasis. (I think it's the Oasis?) Can only make out Ricky and Deslin. Fuck you~~r stupid band~~, Braddock.
• Girl with dreads and some Indian guy talking about Sam I Am and laughing.
• Dark haired girl staring at a corpse in what looks like a morgue. Is that Cassie's voice in the background?
• Tejano music. Loud as fuck vacuum. Hispanic lady. I'm guessing that would be my neighbor- Justine.
• Meeting of some sort. Can make out the faces of "Longshot", "Roulette", Leon, Nate, some skanky looking bitch, Tweedle-Buttlamprey and Tweedle-Asshag. Are they all Order members? Where's Elkins? Look into this.
• Forcefield that looks kinda like Alec's. Mr. Samson? Oh, of course my old Drama teacher has powers! How stupid of me to think otherwise.
• Big ass burst of flames, and the sound of two girls laughing.
• Dawn and Spencer kissing. Uhm, I thought they were divorced. Doesn't that like, go against the rules of being divorced? ALSO! SIDENOTE: GROSS!
• Landon pounding on a door shouting that it's eight pm. Lu...

Fucking fuck, man. Things... are returning back to normal. Starting to return back to normal? Tf is normal anymore? Being a part of T.E.A.M., and having superpowers and everything had become the status quo around here. Now Sam's dead, and we're all just left to try and trudge on where he left off? Is that even possible?

My powers still are back at square ~~one~~ suck, and I don't even want to have to go through all of that to get them back to where they were. One stupid action was all it took. I miss my comic book character premonitions... Did what Lu said have any merit? Could I have seen this coming? Should I have? What would we have been able to do? Questions, questions, questions; so many damned questions! I'm sick of tired of having so many unanswered questions!

I'm worried about Lucy, but all she wants to do is hide away from the world. I don't blame her, but... I don't know what to do. I'm worried about Lucy, and Gabe, and Seth, and Landon, and Marlie and... everyone, honestly. This wasn't supposed to be like this.

I'm having nightmares again. Guh, fuck.

Keep your fingers crossed!

2009-04-20T04:26:33Z

11 DAYS AND COUNTING! ~~Well excluding today itself, and the fact that I've already got my ticket for the midnight showing...~~

I swear if they fucking fuck up Deadpool, I'll never read another Marvel comic as long as I live. ~~Okay, that's a lie. But! I will be really pissed.~~

The previews are everywhere, and I'm going crazy waiting. I found a torrent of it without the finished CGI effects, but feel like I'd be cheating if I went ahead and watched that. Instead I've already watched every episode of X-Men: Evolution, Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow (and laughed at the Hulk's grey hair), every episode of Wolverine & The X-Men I can find, the pilot for Power Pack, Generation X (and laughed at how dumb Buff and Refrax are), the Blade trilogy, Howard the Duck, Iron Man, Dr. Strange ~~holy god, why do I love that man so much!?~~ and of course all of the X-Men films. I think that covers it... but I've still got 11 days to watch everything else Marvel has created while waiting for Wolverine: Origins to come out.

SIDENOTE: Fuck you, Brett Ratner. Psylocke can't jump through shadows, that was not Kid Omega (I would have accepted Quill knock-off though), Silver Fox is DEAD, unless that was one of Madrox's dupes... he wouldn't be with the Brotherhood, Sebastian Shaw looks nothing like that and LEECH WAS FUCKING GREEN! AND NOT THE STUPID KID FROM ULTRAVIOLET! Oh yeah, and Ohmyra Morta is hot.

In other words, here's to hoping that we don't have a repeat of Ang Lee's Incredible Hulk.

That is all!

Whoadang.

2009-04-04T08:27:48Z

...

I should really not google 'weird diseases', because I come up with things such as Alice In Wonderland Syndome (micropsia/Lilliputian sight), Blaschko's lines, Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome and Aquagenic Urticaria.

But at the same time... without Oddee.com in my life, what would I do when /co/ and /b/ are sucking ass? Exactly.

On another note- I'm now traumatized for life. :/

I'm a ramblin' man.

2009-03-30T11:12:53Z

The Man Creature and I have embarked on an epicly epic adventure... in the form of a road trip.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can find some wifi, but you all may have to deal without my amazingness 'till Wednesday.

DC OR BUST!
Big holla that.

You know that travel mug of yours that you got for Christmas and left over at my place? It's now mine, and I'm taking it with me. I may give it to a bum in a fit of charity. <3

Make sure to feed S'not once a day, and then make sure Mom feeds Beej half a cup of food three times a day. They are growing boys and girls! Okay, singular nouns... whateva!

Kill our animals, and I swear I will truly ruin your life. The futon was just the tip of the iceberg. LOVE YOU, DUMBFUCK! AND THANKS!

Body modification =/= Self-mutilation.

2009-03-20T08:50:15Z

I finally did it. I finally pierced myself. I've been doing this for five years, and I finally got up the balls to pierce myself.

Who's amazing? I'm amazing, that's right. As is my new nose piercing; that's right, Alena now has a two nose rings in her left nostril.

Basically what I'm trying to get across, is you should all come let me stab/poke you with needles. ~~I swear it won't take me five minutes to get the needle through, like it did with this. My needle drive is much faster when I'm not on the verge of hyperventilating.~~

No. No, we don't shout 'Zieg Heil' in public.

2009-03-16T01:19:52Z

Now we all remember the awesome video games of ~~our childhood~~ the late 80's and early 90's, with such smash titles as Commander Keen in Goodbye, Galaxy!: Secret of the Oracle (Mmmm DOS) and Adventure Construction Kit... but there is one that I look back on and go WHATAHDAHFUCK!?

I am talking about, of course, Wolfenstein 3D.

For some reason, I all of the sudden today thought about my dear old protagonist, William "B.J." Blazkowicz, and his harrowing escape from the Nazi stronghold, Castle Wolfenstein. ...and my brain hurts. I'm not saying that I'm the most politically correct person in the world, but whoa. You've got your Nazi guards, your swastikas galore and let's not forget the fact that Adolf Hitler's pixelated likeness is plastered all around the GD game... or the fact that the maps in the game are compromised of rooms/areas shaped like swastikas. But! That's not all of it!

Sure, the game play starts of with you just stealing Nazi gold, precious, and killing all of their guard dogs (or giant mutated rats if you played the SNES version... Read: One of the dumber versions), and quickly goes downhill. Once you actually escape the first castle, you find out that the Nazi's are making mutants at Castle Hollehammer in Operation: Eisenfaust. But they aren't just mutants, they are the kind that have third arms, and lavender minotuars and the like. LOLWUT!? But I have to say the one part that makes me WTF!? the most is when you fight Hitler and his personal army of a million little guards at the end of Die, Führer, Die. I remember how hard it was to get a single shot at him, wether it was because his guards were kicking my ass, or that fact that he was in some Tony-Stark-knock-off-robotic suit and wielding FOUR gatling guns... Holy god. I'm not even touching The Nocturnal Missions, man.

I'm not entirely sure if I even really understood what was going on in that game when I first played it, I just knew that I got to shoot 'em up and kill stuff. In retrospect, I think that I should have been doing homework instead of playing that game religiously as a kid... With all of that said, it's not to say that video games are that much more 'PC' now-a-days, but I still can't believe something like that flew back in the 90's. /stupid rant

P.S. Does anyone else miss the original Spokey Dokes? I know I do. :/

Shitfucker, I miss my childhood!

Egg'a McMooby Muffin

2009-03-11T10:00:28Z

So I finally did it, I might be the last person on Earth that has though. Last night I stayed up waaay past muh bedtimez and watched Zack & Miri Make A Porno. Did anyone else freakin' notice the Tom Savini cameo!? I mean, everybody knows that Tom Savini's first gig as a special effects dude was on Dawn of the Dead, that was shot in that very same mall! ...I notice these types of things...

Ennywhoozles, am I the only one who was more distracted by the love story part of the movie than all of the tits and Jason Mewes' dick? I don't think I've ever said "aw" so many different times in one sitting, nor did I know it could be said in so many different tones and inflections.

To recap: I love Kevin Smith and am going to move to Munroeville. :D

...stickin' dick to the Princess.

2009-02-26T07:24:22Z

Question: What type of pants do the Mario brothers wear?

Answer: Denim denim denim. Denim denim denim. De-nim de-nim de-nim. Denim denim denim. Denuh-ni-num num num num den-ni-num.

If you didn't get it, you are a dumbass and you need to familiarize yourself with the music from level two of Super Mario Brothers. :D

selfsoulfriendcypherdoug

2009-02-18T06:17:23Z

I want a tattoo of Douglock - that's right Warlock and Cypher - that says 'THUGLIFE' under it.

I just don't know where to get it. Suggestions?

Cobra Kai!

2009-02-05T18:06:17Z

You gotta pay the Troll Toll if you wanna get into the boy's hole.

Christ, I can't stop singing songs from The Nightman Cometh. I can feel a rendition of 'It's Nature, Shit Happens' coming on.