L'anello

update

retronami@charter.net — Sat, 08 Jan 2011 06:14:18 GMT

Who: Jonah and Sasha
What: Jonah waits for Sasha on the steps of the trailer he, Luca, and Sasha share for Sasha to tell him that he is leaving. When Sasha walks up, he knows something is up and asks what is going on. Jonah tells him that he is going away for a while, and he expects Sasha to react worse than Luca had. Instead, Sasha just says all right, seeming to not be too phased by Jonah's plans and Jonah is a bit hurt. Inside, though, Sasha is sad and freaking out a bit. He asks when Jonah is leaving, and Jonah says he's not sure - that night or the next morning, maybe - and that he has to go talk to Emil first. Sasha just sort of nods, and Jonah gets to his feet. He is about to leave before he turns and wraps Sasha up in a tight hug and apologizes, and tells him why he feels he must go. He promises that he will be back, and that he loves Sasha, and then he pulls back to give him a little kiss. Sasha is upset, but keeps his tears at bay, and says he will miss Jonah and that he loves him, too. Jonah thanks him for saying so, and then he tells him that he will miss him before he turns and leaves Luca on his own, and Luca goes inside the trailer to lay down and finally cries.

To Jonah (backdated a little, Baton Rouge)

retronami@charter.net — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 16:51:04 GMT

Living in Baton Rouge wasn't good and it wasn't bad. Most of Kemp's life was like that. He spent his days avoiding school and trying to have fun. Even in a large city like Baton Rouge, Kemp had a hard time finding things that held his interest. He was the sort of boy who always wanted a new challenge, something entertaining, or difficult, or amusing to keep his active mind occupied.

Today, he was trying his hand at panhandling downtown. His parents were typical upper middle class and he certainly didn't need the money, but why not? He liked playing the role of someone else as frequently as he could--anything to combat the imaginary boredom in his mind. He held out a baseball cap to passerbys, trying to look as cute and dirty and homeless as possible. He was doing a pretty damn good job of it too and he had quite a few dollars hanging out of the hat.

When he saw Jonah across the street, his easily distractable mind perked up and he waved at him like he knew him. "Hey! Hey, you!" Darting out in front of traffic, he raced across the street and grabbed one of his dollars from his hat, holding it out to Jonah. "You dropped this."

Luca and Sasha

retronami@charter.net — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 16:25:08 GMT

After Jonah leaves, Luca goes to find Sasha to see if he is all right and to tell him about him and Jonah having sex. Luca finds Sasha in their trailer and they proceed to talk. Things seeme to be going well until Luca finally mentions he slept with Jonah.

Sasha leaves and Luca chases after him. He launches himself into Sasha's back, flips him over, and proceeds to beat the shit out of him. Then he kisses him. They bicker some more and finally Luca helps Sasha back into the trailer. Luca begs Sasha onto the bed and cleans him up a little and then crawls in with him. They kiss and start to get close. Sasha wants exactly what Luca did to Jonah, but Luca wants Sasha to fuck him, wanting him to be the first, trying to make up for Jonah. Sasha insists on his way and Luca makes the mistake of asking who was his first time. When the answer is Eric, Luca starts crying silently, but continues.

Feeling the tears, Sasha looses his desire but insists that they keep going. Luca stops becaue he thinks Sasha doesn't want him and is only forcing himself to go through with it. Sasha freaks out, begging him not to stop and not to abandon him after dangling the possibility in his face. Luca refuses to continue and gets up. They argue. Luca feels like Sasha is blaming him for everything. Sasha feels like Luca is doing the same. Luca makes the mistake of saying that maybe he should leave too and takes his pillow to go sleep somewhere else.

Sasha takes a bottle of alcohol he took from Eric and one of his knives, goes into the bathroom and proceeds to slit his wrists. Luca is gone for about 20 minutes before he can't stand leaving Sasha alone. He finds him in the bathroom covered in blood, calls 911, and takes him to Crowley's trailer. Luca has gone into full shut down mode. Emil and Dean accompany them to the hospital and Sasha is stabilized.

When Luca goes to see him, he is angry, cruel. Sasha tells him to get out, Luca refuses. Sasha can't stand to look at him and yells, which causes a nurse to come and escort Luca out.

To Darius Backdated

retronami@charter.net — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 21:09:54 GMT

Ender was clapping powder into his hands, standing at the base of the pole, ready to climb up. He couldn't practice any of the throws or catches without his brothers, but Ender often spent time building stamina by hanging on the bars, swinging. He was responsible for a lot of the anchor work and he needed to be strong.

Slowly, he climbed the pegs, unaffected by the growing height. When he got onto the platform, he glanced down at the ground, liking the little lurch of vertigo that he got. He wasn't afraid, but his body responded to the danger of being so high up. Unlatching the bar, he clasped onto it and stepped off so that he could start the swinging. His arms did not get tired easily and he hung there idly for awhile before hitching his knees over the bar and hanging upside down.

to luca

retronami@charter.net — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 09:42:40 GMT

No matter how hard Jonah tried to feel better about things, he only seemed to feel worse. Things were just getting worse and worse between he, Sasha, and Luca. He didn't know what to do, and the overwhelming feeling of depression was getting to him. He wanted to go away, at least for a while. He felt like he needed to be on his own to figure things out, and maybe that's what Sasha needed. And Luca. Maybe they just needed to be away from him. A part of him worried that he'd come back, and they'd be something without him. But it was better they'd be something without him, then what they were now - whatever they were.

He planned to tell only three people. His brothers and Emil. He was nervous to tell Luca and Sasha the most, of course, and as he sat down on the little couch in their trailer he stared down at his shoes and the little bag packed sitting next to his feet.

To Darius, backdated

retronami@charter.net — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 05:57:18 GMT

The way Darius had called him 'Mr. Foster' before he left had stuck with Sinclair. It was hard to grade the young man's final exams when all he could think about was the way he'd bitten his bottom lip all nervously before telling him that he wanted to be more than friends. Even though he'd gotten the test graded that evening, he waited a few days before going to seek Darius out to tell him the good news of his passing. He just couldn't bring himself to talk to him just yet.

Even after finishing up all his grading, still Sinclair thought of Darius. It was silly, to be so distraught over the crush of someone young. It was probably just a passing fancy, seeded by the fact that Darius had been forced to spend numerous hours a week with him, studying boring subjects and needing to fantasize to pass the time.

It was around day two of being tormented by thoughts of Darius that Sinclair finally set out to find him and tell him that he still wanted to spend more time with him, wanted to be around him, even moreso now that he knew how Darius felt. He carefully signed Darius' diploma and packed it in the little leather folder before heading out to deliver it to him. He went to his trailer and knocked on the door, but when no one answered, he tried the handle and peeked his head inside. "Dari? Are you here? I need to speak with you."

To Darius, backdated

retronami@charter.net — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 16:02:07 GMT

The winter of 2001. Sinclair sat in his large trailer which doubled as the classroom for the young people of the circus. Emil liked to have the children go to school, or at the very least have the opportunity to do so. The circus was a fine career, but he always worried that someone like Ilario wouldn't have had the choice had it not been for home schooling tutors who came with the circus.

Sinclair was the most recent. He'd been there now about seven years and was well established as the bringer of homework and field trips. Some of his students hated him, but only because he was very persistent about learning. Teaching a nomadic circus crowd was a difficult task, but Emil had snatched Sinclair up right out of college so they'd managed to train him to be sensitive to the needs of travel and rehearsal.

He was just finishing up some grading. Finals for this semester had passed a couple of days ago and Sinclair was finally done with final grades.

Abra and Julian

retronami@charter.net — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 09:49:31 GMT

Six months ago, one of the elephants, Dulce, was prodded into a rampage. She killed Abra's assistant and was put down. Arba has been looking to replace the man to round out her show with her remaining two elephants, Madre and Picaro. Finally, she turns to the cooch tent and selects Julian for the task. Julian agrees and goes to meet the elephants. Picaro takes an immediate liking to her and Julian agrees to train with Abra while still working in the cooch tent. Eventually, she will perform in Abra's shows with her.

Emil and Iggy

retronami@charter.net — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 09:41:51 GMT

After a few weeks of throwing himself back into work and neglecting Iggy, Emil finally seeks him out. That afternoon, they steal away to Emiliano's trailer and play a game wherein Iggy is blindfolded and has to guess the items with which Emil is touching him. He guesses two and is promised two gifts as a reward. They have sex and they take a nap together.

Someone may or may not have seen Iggy come out of Emiliano's trailer later that afternoon.

Christmas Furlough

retronami@charter.net — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 21:24:31 GMT

Updated the city stop schedule.

Starting December 21st, the circus has a two week furlough in Baton Rouge, LA. No performances. Ilario will be handing out the Christmas bonuses on Sunday the 19th. $200 for non-performers. $300 for performers.

to Regan

retronami@charter.net — Sun, 12 Dec 2010 08:56:26 GMT

Oliver had always been talented at what he did. He hated having the need for assistants. He'd only had three throughout his entire career. One had been unreliable, another had been fantastic, and his last one had been insufferable. Now Oliver was on the hunt for his fourth, and he wasn't at all excited about it. He'd put an online ad out for the next city they'd been in a week before, and now that they were in the city he was anxious to meet the few who had answered it. The first two had been all right, but he was skeptical. The third was a girl named Regan, and he'd never worked with a girl before so he had no idea what to expect. He had on a pair of navy trousers, a pale blue button up dress shirt, and navy blazer as he waited at a table in the cafe he was set to meet this Regan at. He sippd his coffee and glanced around, taking everything in. He'd always been a people watcher.

to luca

retronami@charter.net — Sun, 12 Dec 2010 08:32:39 GMT

Eric had very nearly left the circus. He'd been packing his things angrily when Emiliano had caught wind of it and come to talk with him. It took an hour to calm him down, but Emiliano had convinced him to stay. A week later, a new city, a new show. Eric was avoiding Sasha all together. He was avoiding just about everyone all together. If you weren't a bottle of whiskey, he didn't want anything to have to do with you. After his show, he was wandering back to his trailer with a new bottle in hand. He wasn't trashed yet, but he was definitely feeling pretty loose. He spotted Luca up ahead, and he figured it was Sasha. He headed for him, but instead of saying anything he just bumped into him and kept on walking, as if he hadn't done anything at all.

To Jonah

retronami@charter.net — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 18:46:58 GMT

Rehearsal day was probably Luca's favorite day. He got to go around to all of the sideshow acts and talk to them about their plans, if they needed anything, if they were prepared for their shows. It made him feel like a manager. The fact that Emiliano had been the Sideshow Barker when he was a boy was not lost on Luca. He dreamed of owning this circus one day and while maybe Ilario was the next in line of "succession," he knew that the man wouldn't want the responsibility of running the whole circus. No, Ilario was content to focus on the books, keeping everyone paid.

So on rehearsal day, Luca got to walk around like the little Prince of the circus and maybe he was a little cocky about it, but he genuinely did want to help out where the sideshow acts were concerned. The twins were trying on a new outfit and Luca was trying to help them grapple with the logistics of it.

"No, I think this strap goes here--" he mumbled as he bent over, trying to fasten them into an impossibly complicated costume. Finally, he shook his head, giving it up and taking the garment to be fixed.

As he was walking, he spotted Jonah and called out to him, hustling to catch up. "Hey," he said brightly.

update

retronami@charter.net — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 08:03:29 GMT

Who: Jonah + Sasha
What: Jonah is reading in his bunk when Sasha comes in from the end of a night's show. When Sasha crawls into his own bunk, Jonah follows with his book and cookies that he baked earlier that day. Sasha has a cookie, but the taste reminds him of his mother since it's her recipe and it makes him sad. They talk a bit, and Sasha for some reason warns Jonah not to ask about being part of his act though that was the way it was always meant to be - he and Jonah were to be the act and Luca was to be their barker. Jonah says he wasn't going to bring it up so Sasha didn't need to get all cranky. Jonah mentions that he wants to cook their Dad's spaghetti on their next day off, and Sasha asks why. He says Jonah using their recipes won't bring their parents back. Jonah gets quiet and offers to try to make something new and Sasha says he doesn't care. Jonah tells him goodnight and goes to slip into his own bunk again.

Luca and Sasha

retronami@charter.net — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 02:09:02 GMT

Sasha expects Luca to make good on his promise to play their cutting game. Luca is afraid of knives ever since their parents' death, but plans to keep his promise. They go to a secluded storage trailer and Sasha proceeds to graze scratches along Luca's hips. Luca endures and even enjoys, feeling braver and feeling the beginnings of the ability to let go of all his worries.

Sasha stops quickly when he starts to get aroused, and after some arguing, it is revealed that he doesn't want to do this because he's hurt by the fact that this used to be their thing and Luca rejected him. He's afraid that he'll want to continue and Luca will reject him again. Luca wanted to do this because he wanted to overcome his fear and get close to Sasha again. Luca begs and then finally relents, though tells him he wants to continue playing the cutting game in the future.

He asks to go to bed with him and Sasha agrees, but once they're at their trailer, Luca gets into his own bed. Luca had realized before that Sasha was hard and he urges him to take care of himself, saying he could live vicariously through him and Jonah. That only serves to confuse Sasha and they stop talking.

To Aidan

retronami@charter.net — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 22:31:58 GMT

Even though Memphis had protested a little, he was kind of glad that they hadn't thought it a good idea to move Aidan from his trailer. Granted, that meant he'd been sleeping on the damn couch for the past couple days, but Memphis didn't want to be responsible for kicking the kid out and maybe hurting him further.

He'd kept an eye on him when he hadn't been busy, and it had worked out that the incident had happened on a Thursday becuase show days weren't quite so crazy for the rousties. He really wished the kid would just come to already though because it was coming up on moving time and Memphis wouldn't be able to look after him. Not that he admitted that he was even looking after the kid at all.

But there he was, drinking a cup of coffee--with a healthy dose of whiskey in it--and staring over at the boy on his bed, wondering if he was ever going to wake up. The thought, quite frankly, frightened him, and Memphis wasn't used to being scared or feeling responsible for anyone but himself.

update

retronami@charter.net — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 20:22:42 GMT

Who: Eric + Sasha
What: Eric went to see Sasha after one of his shows as Sasha was getting everything put away for the night. He tried to make a move, but Sasha was having none of it. They ended up fighting, and Eric told Sasha it wasn't fair of him to demand him not to sleep with anyone else if he was fucking his brother. Sasha said if he had a brother he wanted to fuck, it would be different than just random people. Eric said he wouldn't want to sleep with his own brother and hinted at a bit of disgust at the thought. He called Sasha selfish and said he would rather sleep with whoever he wanted than just sleep with a selfish little shit, and Sasha said if Eric slept with Crosby that he'd kill Crosby. Eric said he was done and was leaving the circuit, and went to his trailer to go pack his things up to get away from Sasha's crazy ass because apparently he can't sleep with anyone around the kid or he'll slice their throat. Emiliano should have a lot of fun convincing Eric to stay.

update

retronami@charter.net — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 08:59:01 GMT

Who: Geb + Crosby, Sasha + Eric
What: After getting dropped off to settle a debt in the circus, Geb took Crosby under his wing and offered him a place to stay. He warded Eric off and away from the kid and after eating took Crosby to get him settled. The next day he went into town and got Crosby some clothes and a few other things. That night he and Crosby talked, and after he tucked Crosby in the boy asked to sleep with him. Geb obliged, and he had a conversation with Crosby though Crosby was asleep. They fell asleep together.

After drinking some in his trailer after a show, Eric went to get some food from the tent. He spotted Crosby but Geb told him to get lost, and he went to sit with Sasha and Jonah. After making a snide remark to Jonah, Jonah got up and left to sit with Maeve and Aidan. Sasha and Eric got into a bit of a fight, and by the end of the meal Eric got up and left, leaving Sasha on his own.

Luca and Sasha

retronami@charter.net — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 08:44:44 GMT

Luca goes to find Sasha to talk to him about Jonah and Eric. They get into an argument and Luca makes his feelings clear that Eric shouldn't be in the equation. Sasha challenges Luca to deny that he wants sexual contact with his brothers and Luca can't but refuses to move forward with those feelings. Sasha starts to storm off and Luca continues the fight, claiming he misses Sasha. Luca pushes Sasha and Sasha pushes Luca back, busting his stitches open in the process.

Luca forcibly takes Sasha to see Crowley and during the procedure feels guilty and promises him that he will let Sasha cut him some like they used to do when they were kids before their parents died. Crowley stitches Sasha up poorly and Luca carries his brother back to their trailer. Luca stays with Sasha until he falls asleep from the pain.

To Reed

retronami@charter.net — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 02:25:57 GMT

Arthur didn't like to think of himself as childish, but ever since the breakup, he'd been avoiding Reed. That was six months ago and he realized just how ridiculous it was to work on an act's lighting and sound when they weren't there. Talking with him through post it notes on various cables and props was not, in the least bit, professional.

He could have left Anello. There were other options for him. He'd worked as a stage manager in plenty of theaters before and he was brilliant with electrician work. But nothing appealed to him like traveling with the circus. He could have picked up with another circus, but it all boiled down to the fact that he wasn't ready to say goodbye to Reed forever, no matter how much he tried to tell himself that he was tired of the fighting and not feeling good enough. He still loved Reed desperately and maybe that was why he avoided him so deftly.

Tonight, he was adjusting the lighting filters from the matinee show. It was important for the evening show to have a harder edge, something racier and somehow more than the afternoon shows. And even the little slivers of light that came in from underneath the tent in the daylight affected Arthur's perfectionist sense of ambiance. It was important to him to get everything just right. Yet another reason that he had a hard time being with Reed if it couldn't be perfect.

update

retronami@charter.net — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 07:26:27 GMT

Who: Jonah + Maeve + Aidan, Eric + Sasha + Crowley
What: Jonah woke up in a bad mood. Maeve saw him moping and took him to the food tent to get something to eat. The two talked about Eric and Sasha a bit, then they went back to Maeve's trailer where Maeve gave Jonah a tarot card reading. She told him not to leave, but he is still thinking of leaving anyway. After he left the trailer, Aidan and Maeve talked for a bit about Jonah and about how Aidan thought Cass liked Maeve. Maeve left to go talk to Cass.

Sasha went into Eric's trailer to wake him up and tell him they were done. The two bickered a bit, and eventually Eric tossed Sasha out of his trailer. Sasha fell awkwardly onto one of his knives, and Eric took him to see Crowley. Crowley disinfected the wound and sewed it up, and Eric took Sasha back to his trailer where the two laid down, talked, and finally fell asleep.

To Aidan

retronami@charter.net — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 00:18:44 GMT

Every day was a busy day for the rousties. But at least it wasn't one of the packing or set up days. Thursday was a compilation of odd jobs and adjustments as people rehearsed their acts. As the evening drew on, people were winding down and Memphis had officially stopped working. Anyone who wanted something done could receive a withering glare and then wait until the morning.

Even though it was cold outside, Memphis was sitting out on a lawn chair in front of his ratty old trailer, drinking a beer and smoking some sort of herb. Medicinal, he would insist if anyone dared ask. But no one ever asked Memphis anything that wasn't necessary. He was well known to be a prickly and downright not worth all the effort it would take to get on his good side.

Emil and Iggy

retronami@charter.net — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 09:54:11 GMT

On Sunday night, Iggy and Ender were practicing a specific catch for the show. Emiliano, having set his sights on Iggy, went to watch. He invited them both out to dinner and Ender declined. Emil made it a point to seduce Iggy and did so successfully. It's unlikely that anyone heard them in Emiliano's trailer and they are making it a point to keep it a secret.

to luca

retronami@charter.net — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 14:18:45 GMT

Jonah was always the sensitive one. Being the youngest, he was looked after and a bit sheltered - always protected, even if he was only the youngest by 20 minutes. Losing his parents at such a young age had been hard on all three of them, and in different ways. Luca felt responsible for them all, Sasha was angry all of the time, and Jonah just felt a bit lost.

After the fight with Sasha the night before, in which Jonah ended up with a bruised side and a busted lip, he was curled up in his cot on his own. It was their free day. Tomorrow they'd pack up and move on, set up, and do everything all over again in another town. There was no telling what kind of a mood Sasha would be in then, or how things would go. It was always so up an down and it was exhausting. A part of Jonah knew that it as probably all his fault. He'd pushed for things with Sasha, and now it was all so complicated. He'd hinted at things with Luca - about how he felt for him - but Luca had just turned off about it all. Jonah worried that maybe Luca looked down on him now... Maybe he didn't love him as much as he use to. Something. Jonah was worried he just didn't deserve love which was probably one of he reasons why he looked so desperately for it and needed it. Wanted it, craved it.

Closing his eyes, he rubbed at one of hem and let out a quiet sigh before he rolled over onto his stomach and pressed his face against his pillow. It hurt, made his lip sting, but he kind of liked the pain.

snippet update

retronami@charter.net — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 07:17:45 GMT

Who: Eric + Sasha, Sasha + Jonah
What: Sasha saw Eric flirting with a patron, threw a knife at them, the patron took off. Eric and Sasha fought, then had really strange sex that entailed blood because Sasha cut him. Sasha left and went to shower, returned to the triplet's trailer to crawl into bed with Jonah. Jonah, upset, told him to leave his bunk which Sasha did. Jonah threw a pillow at him, then went to retrieve it and caught an elbow in the ribs from Sasha that caused him to fall and bust his lip on the counter. Luca probably heard some of the commotion unless he was out cold, though Jonah left the trailer momentarily to clean himself up, then came back. He crawled in bed with Sasha, they talked shortly then fell asleep.