http://www.cbsatlanta.com/news/26054783/detail.html

A ten year old girl and her aunt are hospitalized after a "freak" accident caused a spray paint can to explode in their faces. Really? Freak accident? Because the only thing freaky I see here is the freakishly large amount of ignorance this woman had.

OH I DON'T HAVE A HAMMER HANDY. WHAT SHOULD I USED TO HAMMER THIS NAIL? WHY A FLAMMABLE CAN OF SPRAY PAINT THAT ALSO SAYS DO NOT PUNCTURE, CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE.

As cold and cruel as this may seem... the bitch deserved it. I only feel sorry for the 10 year old girl, she probably wasn't aware of what was happening. What the fuck. Seriously.

I'd also like to add that whoever wrote this story needs to learn the value of proofreading. "Was helping her Lowe" should probably be "was helping her AUNT Lowe" and "skin graphs..." SERIOUSLY? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? It's GRAFTS, you moronic reporter.

Honestly, I kinda like Justin Bieber. Yeah, I know. Sue me.

BUT THIS. Wow. I was going to try to think of a witty caption for this post, but just watch this. The whole thing. Seriously. It speaks for itself.

( Declaration of War Against Justin Bieber haters )

THIS IS A LINK TO FLESHLIGHT. THAT MEANS ADULT SEX TOYS. IF YOU DO NOT WANT THIS ON YOUR SCREEN BECAUSE YOUR BOSS IS WATCHING YOU SURF, DO NOT CLICK.

I'M 904 YEARS OLD AND WHAT IS THIS?
http://www.fleshlight.com/alien/?link=230667

JUST READ THE SALES PITCH. I CAN'T CONTAIN MY LAUGHTER.

This is from The Daily What and I figured it was hilarious enough to post here.

NYC’s WKTU “ballbusts” a woman by informing her that her son is a heterosexual and then waiting to see how long it takes for her to catch on.

It’s longer than you think.

( Under the cut )

So which remix do you guys prefer the most?

I'm Backin' Up by the Auto-Tune the News guys

OR

They Shoot the Rubber by Mike Relm

LET'S GET READY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMBLE!

I'm just gonna leave this riiiiiiiiight here.