Extracurriculars

To Callaway

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 23:56:36 GMT

It was finally finished: the book he'd written about his time with Adam. It hadn't taken him as long as he thought it would. At first, he'd started to edit the book from before he was kidnapped, tried to finish it. But he was such a different person now that he needed to put it away--it hurt too much to realize that he'd never think like that again. Once he got going on his new book, the words had come out of him, rushing to get down on paper, purged from his brain. It was all metaphorical, of course, a fantasy novel steeped in allegory and easeful charm. The characters, however, were clear. The little peasant, Parker. The protective daddy long legs, Callaway. The fluttering bird who'd almost forgotten how to sing, Murphy. The destructive, ferocious bear, Adam. The quick witted fox, Reagan. The impossibly sweet rabbit, Elijah. And the cocky but loyal dog, Shay.

Parker sat, anxious, on the couch while he watched Callaway read the manuscript. He'd given it to his publisher already and she was busy editing it. But Callaway's opinion was the one that mattered. Murphy still lived with them, which included Seth now, and he would let the two of them read it as well, but right now, his complete attention was focused on Callaway. Every breath, every expression, made him hunker down lower behind the pillow he was holding on his lap.

emma, wyatt, bau & co

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 06:09:56 GMT

With Liam away on vacation, Emma was the lead agent in charge. Liam was due back in the morning, well, not back to work but back home. When Brie had started to get direct threats, Emma thought it best to put her in protective custody. Mick insisted she be assigned with the other agents to keep an eye on the woman, and Emma had agreed to it. But now that Brie was under lock and key, the man stalking her and killing prostitutes in her name was getting angrier. He'd slipped up, finally. He'd left a print at the last scene, and he was in the system. They'd gone to his house to apprehend him, but he wasn't there. Instead, there were clues as to who he'd be after next, and a location. An abandoned warehouse. Emma and Wyatt were enroute to his apartment when Micah had called to tell them that Kyle Pratt wasn't there, and that he might be at the warehouse location. She and Wyatt were closer, so they went ahead, thinking a woman's life was in danger.

When they got there, Emma took the lead, her gun in hand. She could hear noises, though she wasn't sure what they were. The others would be there soon with backup, but for now she was focused on hopfully saving the woman she assumed Pratt had.

smith, lijah, whit continued

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 05:32:09 GMT

Continued from here.

Elijah didn't answer, instead he just let out a sleepy giggle and smiled. When the water was drained and he was helped out of the tub and dressed, he yawned. He curled up onto the bed and nodded his head a little, his eyes all ready slipping closed.

Whitney swept into the room then, a tray in his hands. He'd made pancakes, and they had peanutbutter and syrup on them. He'd learned Elijah liked his pancakes that way while Smith was gone.

"I can't believe you eat this," he said as he settled it down on the bed, "But it's sweet and you need sugar. There's some milk there for you, too. And some hand santizer wipes for your fingers for when you're done."

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 02:41:39 GMT

The murder itself had been quick. Smith wasted no time when they got back to Shadow Falls. He hunted Elijah's step father down and he killed him, plain and simple. He hadn't deigned to drink the man's blood, but strangled him to death and tossed him into the lake to sink and rot. It had been nothing more than an extermination. He hadn't tortured the man, and he hadn't given him much of an explanation for why he was dying except that he deserved it and he owed Elijah a peaceful existence.

Then, he'd turned himself in. All of this happened before Whitney could do anything to stop him. Smith had been very careful about that aspect because the whole point of this was to protect both of the people he loved. Elijah from his step father and Whitney from the Council. After pleading his case, he was sentenced to six months in the dungeons. But he'd been granted the small mercy to leave a letter for Whitney and Elijah to be delivered after he was incarcerated.

It read: Whitney and Lij. Please don't be mad. I'm not running from either of you. 6 months and we can go back to normal. 6 months and all of us will be safe again. Let me do this. -Smith

Not much of a poet, but he got the point across. That was 6 months ago and now he was collecting his watch from the guard and heading home. There was scars on his back from where he'd been punished. Only very talented vampires knew how to hurt another vampire enough to leave scars. They were faint though and in another fifty years they'd be gone. No injury lasted forever, except maybe emotional ones.

As was common, the exact date of his release hadn't been publicized. So he walked himself home to Whitney's, terrified that Elijah (or maybe even Whitney himself) wouldn't be there. Instead of walking right in, he knocked before trying the door to see if it was unlocked.

open to liam

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 11:24:16 GMT

Liam and Reagan had talked about taking vacations before, but they never followed through. Liam's work was demanding, and Reagan was content to stay close to him. He didn't want to go off on a vacation all on his own, and his art kept him busy enough. Plus he got to travel quite a bit sometimes, too, when he had showings scheduled across the country. So when they'd followed through with this vacation, he was a little surprised, but very excited. The idea of getting to go away somewhere with his husband was exhilerating, and exactly what he needed.

He was still having trouble sleeping, but he was doing better. He was coping the best way he knew how, and Liam was always there for him. Reagan was astounded at just how patient his husband was. They still hadn't had sex yet, but Liam seemed fine with it.

Hawaii was beautiful. The moment they landed Reagan was taken aback by the beauty, it was stunning. After they'd settled in, they had something to eat and then they'd taken a nap together. It was close to evening time when they wokeup and headed out to the beach. The sun was still out, but would be setting soon, and it was still hot outside. Reagan had on a pair of cargo shorts - he really wasn't the type to wear silly swimming trunks, a thin white v-neck t-shirt, and a pair of sunglasses perched on his nose as he lay sprawled out on the towel next to Liam. They'd both put on copius amounts of sunscreen, especially Reagan since he was apt to burn so easily. He was sketching in a sketchpad, drawing a picture of the scenery that surrounded them.

To Tristan

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 23:12:21 GMT

The boys hadn't gone to see Andy Warhol the next day after school like Scott had planned. Their father, clever as he was, kept thinking of ways to keep them busy. Of course, it took a long time for Scott to finally drop the issue, but he never forgot about it and the invitation for Tristan to go to The Factory. Their senior year passed and Scott had had just about enough. He didn't want to go to college, but he also couldn't bear the thought of Tristan having all of those new experiences without him. By the skin of his teeth, he'd been admitted into the same New York university that Tristan had and now there was only one summer left standing between him and the rest of his bleak life--or so he imagined. One glorious, hot summer where he had no responsibility other than doing nothing. The summer of '66.

So that first day after graduation, it was clear what had to be done. As he laid on his bed in jeans and a tshirt, he re-read the article in the gossip column about Edie Sedgwick utterly losing it. He lamented the fact that she'd left the Warhol tribe and gone completely mad, but he also admired her for it. "I've never wanted to fuck somebody more," he said out loud to Tristan, just to shock him. He loved how his words could still put a stark look on his twin's face even though Scott had been saying lewd words since he could talk. His first word had been 'shit' thanks to their foul mouthed nanny who was quickly fired thereafter.

open to shay

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 13:44:15 GMT

Elijah had gotten the fabulous idea that he and Shay should get a hotel room to see what really being on their own would be like, and of course Shay had indulged him and agreed. After packing up and arriving at the room, they'd ordered room service and had a picnic on the bed. When Shay got up to take a shower, Elijah found his violin and settled on the floor to play for a bit.

He'd only just gotten the violin back recently from the FBI. He hadn't really played it, because it felt strange to even think about now that he didn't have to. He wanted to wait until he wanted to, and today he wanted to.

He had his shoes and socks off and was wearing a brown pair of slacks with a matching vest over a white t-shirt, and he probably looked silly sitting on the floor like he was. He was so into playing that he hadn't even heard the shower cut off, and he just kept right on playing until the song ended. He was going to start another one when he realized that the sound of water was no longer drifting out of the bathroom, and he turned his head in the direction he knew Shay must have been standing in with a shy smile.

"Are you watching me?" he asked softly.

parker and callaway

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 02:38:31 GMT

Surprisingly, things were going pretty well with Murphy in their home. Callaway was extremely accpeting of the boy, and Parker's attachment to him. He worked to give the two enough space on their own but still kept himself included every now and then so that Murphy could get to know him a little bit.

It was late at night, after a Callaway had cooked a big dinner for the three of them, and he was up late writing in his study. Parker and Murphy had been watching a movie together, though they'd been whispering to eachother througout the entire thing. Callaway could hear them now and then, and it made him smile a little bit.

After a while, he dozed off at his desk in front of his laptop, slumped down in his chair.

To Micah

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 04:21:37 GMT

Having just found out that Ally and Clark were taking vacation at the same time, Wyatt was currently at his desk, considering the implications of that. No one (except Liam) knew if they were going on the same vacation or not. It could have been as simple as not wanting to find a substitute interpretor for Ally. Or it could have been as complicated as another office romance. Wyatt was very sharp, obviously, but if asked to read his friends' behaviors, Wyatt turned almost useless. He didn't have that kind of savvy. He kept stealing glances at the two of them, wondering if other people were suspicious about him and Micah like this.

When he saw Micah come back in from interviewing a suspect they had in custody, Wyatt straightened in his chair, suddenly ultra aware of how he reacted to the sight of the man. It sent his senses reeling.

open to chancellor

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 07:34:13 GMT

After his session with Liam a few days earlier, Kerri was wondering when he'd be able to schedule a session with Chancellor. He had to speak to every member of the BAU team, but he was told to focus especially on Liam and Chancellor. Chancellor had been giving him the slip at every turn, and seemed too busy to return his last two calls, and his last email trying to schedule a session. With the heart attack and hospitilaztion, though, that was understandable. Okay, it would have been, but all of Kerri's endeavors had been prior to the attack.

At the moment, Kerri was busy taking a lunch break at a sushi place. He was surprised to see Chancellor there, alone, looking over the menu at the sushi bar. Chancellor was the type of man who usually chose more hearty food, but given his health recently, Kerri supposed some changes had to be made.

Deciding to take the oppurtunity to see how the man was doing, and to maybe see if he could get Chancellor to commit to a session, he headed over and slid into the empty seat next to him.

"Hello, Agent Connelly," he smiled. "Glad to see you out and about."

open to Liam

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 06:20:58 GMT

Kerrigan had spoken with the BAU members before. Every year, he had a few sessions with them, just to see where they were at mentally. He felt the team was a fairly good functioning one, and he had a tremendous amount of respect for each member. This year, though, he'd gotten called in early for the sessions. Mainly he was told to focus on Liam, and once he'd been brought up to speed on all of the things that had happened recently, he understood why. He hated to pry at a time when he knew Liam was probably still dealing with things and trying to heal emotionally in his own way, but it was his job. Orders were orders.

A few floors down from the BAU, Kerri was waiting in his office for Liam and sipping a cup of coffee as he jotted a few notes down about the Adam Banks case, and specifically, what the file said about Reagan.

open to Shay

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 06:59:38 GMT

Parker and Murphy were sound asleep, Elijah could tell. The sound of their breathing always let him know if they were awake or asleep. Parker had fallen asleep before Murphy had, and he'd been out for two hours now. Murphy for an hour. Everything in the house was silent. Though they were downstairs and a bit away from the house, Elijah could hear Adam's footsteps sometimes. If Adam was home, he usually had one of the three upstairs with him, too. The moment he heard footsteps he sat up on his bed and scooted to the edge, waiting to hear if Adam would come downstairs or not. It made him feel sick to his stomach that he often wanted to be the one Adam chose to take upstairs. It was the only time he was out of the cage, and his only sense of freedom, even if it wasn't real freedom at all.

To Elijah

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 21:10:25 GMT

Shay was currently hunched over the counter of a second hand shop, staring at the 35mm film SLRs. Getting his affairs back in order hadn't been altogether too difficult, given he'd only been gone for a little over a year. And now he was looking to add to his collection of cameras because that's simply what he did when he had spare time. He glanced over at Elijah, interested with the way he touched things to see them, liking to watch his hands move over objects with that exploratory, inquisitive spirit. He watched him for a little while before asking the girl behind the counter to take out the Nikon he'd been eyeing. As soon as he had the camera in his hands, he held it up to focus on Elijah.

"Lunch after this, what do you think?" he asked. Having Elijah with him all the time had been the biggest blessing he'd ever had the fortune of receiving. He couldn't even begrudge his nightmare experience to get here because it had yielded Elijah. That was helping him deal with the trauma more than any therapy could. His mother had, however, insist he go. She'd set up appointments for Elijah as well, wanting to make sure they were both happy and healthy as soon as they could be.

liam, reagan

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:59:09 GMT

Chancellor had told Reagan not to put off his own healing process. But Reagan hadn't really known how to even begin to work on his own healing process. Mostly, he just blocked everything out and just pushed forward. He got lost in painting, that had always been easy for him to do, and he was thankful for it the moment he'd been alone for the first time. Liam worked late nights, but he always came in, and Reagan hadn't had to sleep alone. Being alone during the day was a little unnerving, but he managed and just ignored how it made him feel. And at night, it was worse, but he could handle it for a few hours until Liam was there, and once Liam was home he was fine. Or at least it was easy to pretend to be fine.

But when Liam got the call about Chancellor's heart attack and had to leave straight from the office to fly out, and Reagan realized that he'd be gone overnight, panic started to set in. It was slow at first. It was even easy to push it down and forget about it for a while, but each time it came back, it got worse and worse. He almost called Liam about a dozen times, but he didn't want to bother him. Not when Chancellor needed him, not when it was something so important. Of course Liam had called him, but Reagan was short and quick to be off the phone because he was afraid he'd break down and beg his husband to come home which wasn't fair to him. Sleeping alone in their bed wasn't even an option, and Spooky wasn't exactly the most comforting thing, even if the little cat tried to be. Doors and windows were checked several times over, even though Reagan knew Adam wasn't coming. He was locked away in some hospital, but still, the irrational fear was there and Reagan gave into it. He tried to sleep on the couch but every noise or wash of headlights through the window as a car swept down the street left him on edge, and eventually he just went down to the basement to try and paint. When even that didn't work, he really started to freak out because painting always worked. So he did laundry and reorganized the closets, and then he started to alphabitize Liam's books in the man's study. Eventually around dawn Reagan just finally broke down and cried, sobbed really, sitting in the middle of a sea of stacks and stacks of books and that's where he just decided to stay. When the crying stopped he just sat there Indian style and sort of zoned out with his chin in his hands and his elbows propped up on his knees.

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 07:39:13 GMT

Parker felt better with Murphy around where he could keep an eye on him. After getting the details about the incident with Adam, he thought maybe Murphy should be committed. The boy was hurting and Parker was very worried that he'd do something dangerous again, self-destructive. He wanted nothing more than to be there for him and really, he'd missed having him so close all of the time.

Murphy was in the guest room and Parker was in the kitchen fixing something to eat. He was writing again, large amounts and he wondered if maybe it didn't have something to do with Murphy being close again. Not to say he missed being in that cell, but there was something to be said for a constant support system. Parker stirred the spaghettios he was heating up on the stove, liking the sound of the fork scraping and klinking against the steel pot.

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 07:02:28 GMT

The drive to D.C. wasn't that long and he happened to know that the Starbucks was open until midnight, which was a good thing for him because he was going to need to get some coffee if he was going to make it back to his hotel. Once he arrived he parked out front of the store and then he went inside so that he could order a drink and also talk to Comfort. He made his way up to the register and he stood there, waiting for Comfort to acknowlege him.

He'd really needed a new career, but more to the point, he really needed a job. The career would come later, but for now, Comfort was ready to settle for the first thing that had come along. Needlese to say, he'd been too embarrassed to put Westpoint on the application and it hadn't been needed. Starbucks at least had pretty good benefits. When he saw Chancellor though, he immediately concluded that none of the benefits were worth it. His jaw tightened and he hardly looked at the man. He was smart enoigh to realize this probably wasn't coincidence. "What can I get for you today?"

"Whatever will keep me awake on the drive back to my hotel." Because for right now he was already running on fumes and it was only going to get worse as the night progressed. "and you could also tell em what time you get off work tonight and I'd like to have a chance to talk to you for a little while."

"An americano," he said as he punched it into the register. At first he didn't respond to the part about talking. He didn't know what the man wanted to talk about and he was surprised to see him there at all. He considered it for a moment and then glanced at the clock. "In a half hour." He smoothed his hands down the front of his embarrassing green apron. "And that will be $2.75."

Chancellor gave him a five and when Comfort gave him the change he just dumped it all into the tip jar. "I would really like to talk to you for a little while, before I head back to my hotel. Maybe we could go for a walk or we could even just sit over here for a while."

"Oh, yes, please let's sit in my mediocre place of employment and talk." He snapped, but kept his voice low so his manager couldn't hear. He glanced at the line behind Chancellor. "You can wait for your drink over there."

Chancellor frowned and he went down to the end of the bar to get his drink. He just stood there, his arms folded over his chest. He felt like he was just going to make this so much worse.

Cooper helped the other customers, doing his level best to ignore Chancellor. But the truth was that he kept looking over at him and in the last thirty minutes of his day, he spilled two cups of steamed milk. When his shift was finally over, he headed out to the parking lot, walking past Chancellor.

Chancellor hurried after him. In thirty minutes he'd finished off the venti americano and he was a little shaky from the caffeine on the empty stomach. "Comfort.' He followed after him, practically running to catch up. "Wait, we were going to talk.'

Ultimately, Comfort didn't have a great deal to be angry about, just disappointed and humiliated, which turned to fury in his stomach. He stopped and turned around, leaning back against his sensible sedan. "About what? Why did you come here? I don't even want to know how you found me or how many privacy laws you probably broke to do it."

"Talk to me." Chancellor had tossed the paper cup in the trash and now his shaking hands just smoothed down the tie. "I'm sorry about the other night, I was in a horrible place. I wanted you to stay I just didn't want you to see me like that."

Cooper couldn't help but watch Chancellor's hands. He wanted to touch the man's tie as well. "You can't feel two opposite things at once. You didn't want me to stay and that's fine. You don't have to feel guilty. I chose what I chose and it as worth it." For that one time it had been worth it.

"I could make it worth it for you still." He wasn't even sure what he was asking or what he was trying to get at at this point but he wanted to let Cooper know that he still wanted him around. "Come back to the hotel with me. Spend tonight with me."

"What happened when I left?" He asked instead of answering Chancellor's offer. It was cold out and he wrapped his arms around him as if to block out the temperature.

"I drank too much and I went back to my hotel, where I was locked out, and I called Liam because I was upset that you weren't there and I didn't know who else to call. And he came and I told him about you and he made sure I didn't choke to death on my own vomit and then he went home."

Cooper nodded a little. "And I'm supposed to spend the night with you?" He acted like he planned on saying no, but in reality, his heart was thudding with excitement at the prospect.

"We don't have to have sex." he was probably really in no shape for it. "but I want you to come with me. Ride back with me and sleep with me. Let me wrap my arms around you and keep you close. One night and if you don't like it you don't have to come back but let me just show you."

Cooper swallowed, glad he was leaning against the car. Hearing that from Chancellor was incredibly tempting, downright alluring. "You just don't seem like the cuddling type, Connelly."

Chancellor stepped forward and he slid his arms around Comfort. He was trembling, partially from the lack of sleep, partially from the coffee, and partially because he was terrified that he was going to say no. "Let me show you what type I am."

He had had pathetic schoolgirl fantasies about something like this, all of them starring Chancellor. His cheeks flushed immediately at the embrace and he exhaled his held breath. "I gave you too much espresso," he said in mock lament. "I have work tomorrow." Which wasn't a no perse.

"I'll bring you back in the morning." he tipped his head down and pressed a kiss to his mouth, just a brush before he drew his head back. "I'll bring you back for work, just come with me. Don't make me beg."

Comfort raised his eyebrows. "You wouldn't beg," he challenged lightly. Was he dreaming? This was starting to feel like one. "Don't beg," he added, in case Chancellor was serious. "I'll come with you."

"Good." He tightened his grasp around him and he leaned down to kiss him again, taking his time with it, though he had to stop when he felt like he was giong to come apart. "How many shots did you put into my Americano?"

"Four," he said with a slight smirk. He'd thrown in an extra one because he'd said he needed to stay awake. "Can't handle your coffee?"

"I very rarely drink coffee." He admitted. Sometimes he did, usually black coffee and only in the mornings because if he drank it too late he couldn't sleep. Now he was jittery and feeling a little disconnected. "Let's go before I lose my ability to drive."

Cooper glanced down the length of his body. His hands couldn't resist smoothing down his tie, enjoying the feel of it beneath his fingers. "It's a little ways. Let me drive."

"My car." He kissed Cooper's forehead and then let his lips ghost down over the bridge of his nose before he kissed him on the mouth again. "In the morning I'll bring you back here."

Finally, Cooper let himself really submit to the attention of Chancellor's mouth and his body yielded to it with warmth. He whimpered ever so slightly into it as his hand slipped a fist around the man's tie. "Okay," he said after a moment.

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 06:53:19 GMT

Parker had heard about the incident with Murphy when Liam called to tell him that Adam had been taken into custody. The agent had expressed his concern for the boy and Parker had asked for his number. He'd been expecting Murphy to call, but when he hadn't he'd assumed that the other had just wanted to move on with his life. It was only a few days after Adam's capture that Parker called Murphy's parent's house to find out where he was.

Murphy was at home, in his own room, curled up in his bed when his mother brought him the cordless phone and told him that there was a boy on theo ther line for him. He told her if it was Seth he didn't want to talk to him, that it hadn't been enough time. Mostly he just didn'tw ant to fight with him but he was convinced that it would just be a fight if they talked. But she said it wasn't, someone she didn't know, and so he took the phone. "Hello?"

"Murphy?" Parker said, relieved to hear his voice. Something about Liam's concern really had Parker worried. "What's going on? Are you okay?" He was clearly worried, the sound of it radiating through the phone. Parker was frequently harsh and the softness in his voice was a contrast to the usual.

Hearing Parker on the other end of the phone made his chest tight and he closed his eyes and turned over so that he could press his face down into the pillows. He was quiet for a full minute before he tilted his head to the side to lift his mouth away from the pillow. "I'm fine. How are you?"

"No you're not. I can almost see your face; it's in your voice. What happened with Adam?" He'd heard the story from the agent, but he wanted to hear it from Murphy's point of view. Hearing his voice was kind of difficult, moreso than he'd expected it to be. Memories came rushing back and he tried to keep them from flooding his brain all at once. He had to sit down on the couch as he spoke.

Frowning, Murphy brought his hand up to his face and he tried to rub away the feeling that he needed to cry. Honestly, he didn't want to talk about it with anyone, especially not Parker. "It doesn't matter what happened. He's going to jail. You really shouldn't have called, Parker, this... this can't be good for you.'

"Is that why you haven't called me?" He said quietly, trying not to sound hurt by the fact that Murphy hadn't contacted him. "Because it's bad for you? It does matter what happened. I wanted to thank you for turning him in. He's in jail and he can't hurt us anymore."

"I didn't call you because you don't need me to call you." He was going to start crying, he couldn't help it. "You have Callaway, you have your live back down, it's good for you to get over all of it and not to have to deal with me." He sniffled a little bit and wiped at his eyes. "It's not bad for me, I miss you." He bit his bottom lip and just frowned a little bit. "Yeah, your welcome.' Though he didn't sound like he meant it.

He could hear the tremble in Murphy's voice and Parker sighed, hating to hear the boy cry, especially when he couldn't do anything about it. "Come down here then. Come and see me. I'll pay to fly you out here. I miss you too. I miss talking to you and I miss hearing you play." Sometimes it was hard to get to sleep, even safely in bed with Callaway, something didn't seem right without the others there with him.

Murphy just burst into tears then, his body shaking as he curled up as tightly as he could. "I can't sleep.' He told him. "I can't sleep when I don't hear your pencil scratching on the paper or when I can't hear everyone." Practically exactly what Parker was thinking in the moment, he didn't even realize it. "I was going to let him take me. I was going to go with him, so it could be just the two of us and I could make sure he never hurt any of you again, but I was too weak."

Parker held the phone tightly to his ear, knees hitching up against his chest as he tried to calm his own reactions to Murphy crying. It physically hurt, stomach twisted up at his center. "You weren't weak. You called the cops and you won. You saved yourself and you saved all of us."

"I wasn't going to." He shook his head. "Don't you understand that? I wasn't going to. I was going to let him take me. I was going to let him have me. And i called Liam instead, and Adam was so angry. He hates me now."

"So what if Adam hates you?" Parker said in disbelief. "He never loved any of us. He's sick. That's not love. None of what he did to us was fueled by love and you know it." His voice was full of passion and he felt an upwelling of anger at the situation, at what that man did to them.

"But it doesn't change the way I feel about him." Murphys voice was tiny now, quiet and timid because he knew that what he was saying was wrong, and that it wasn't going to make Parker want to talk to him anymore, but he thought maybe that was what needed to happen anyway. "I don't expect you to understand."

"What do you mean you don't expect me to understand?" He frowned. "Like I wasn't there for five years?"As if he didn't know Adam or the situation. "Murphy. Let me fly you out here. You can stay with us."

"You were there for five yeras but you didn't fall in love with him. You hate him. You all hate him. But I don't because there is something wrong with me." his voice was a little higher pitched. "I can't even have sex with my boyfriend without thinking of him. Or thinking of you. You really don't want me to come out there. Callway won't want me to come out ther.e"

"Then you need a new boyfriend. And you need some time. You're not in love with him, Murphy. You're brainwashed. He put you in a cage and forced you to pretend. I understand that it gets confusing." His voice had softened. Murphy always made him go back and forth; it kept him on his toes. "I do want you to come here. I want to see you."

"Why? What good will it do you?" He knew that Parker was probably happier. In his mind he knew that he was. "and you don't know how I feel, I'm not brain washed, that's not fair to say. Everyoen thinks that."

"Then why did you call Agent Montgomery? What were you scared of? You're not supposed to be scared of someone if you love them." He was trying to prove to Murphy that he didn't love Adam, that it was all just in his head.

"Because he was going to take other boys. He was going to try to take you back. And he said that he was going to kill Seth. I couldln't let him do those things. So I turned him in. And he hates me, and my boyfriend can't even look at me, and none of my family even knows what to do when I'm around, they just look at me with this look in their eyes. I hate it. I just wanted to go away, I wanted to go away with him and never come back."

"You don't love him!" He tried not to yell, but the volume was getting there. He reigned back. "If you won't come to see me, then I'm coming to see you. I'm sure that Callaway would rather you come to us, but you're not making it easy. You never make anything easy."

There was no way that he was going to let Parker come all the way out to see him. Then he'd really have no escape and there would be just another person putting pressure on him. "I'll come. I'll come to see you. You can't come here."

That was an odd turn of phrase and Parker hesitated. "I can't? Why can't I come there?" It sounded like Murphy was hiding something. He paused and sighed. "Murph, I'm really scared for you."

"I don't want you to see how i live here." He didn't want him to meet his alcoholic boyfriend or his hollow shells that he called his parents. "I don't want you to be here because I can barely be here."

"Then it would be good for you to get away for awhile." He liked the idea of tugging Murphy away from his life, rescuing him though he was not really optimistic enough to believe that. "Tell me you'll be okay."

"I don't know. I hope so." He whispered to him, because he really did. He hoped against hope that everything worked out for him in the end, but unfortunately his life wasn't always that good to him. "When do you want me to come?"

Parker didn't know what he was going to do with his melancholy Murphy, but he was going to do his best to be there for him. Perhaps it was selfish to want him to come out just so that he could check on him, but Parker was generally selfish. "Today, tomorrrow? I can book the flight online and have you on it." Money really wasn't a problem for Parker.

"Today." Murphy wanted just to get on a plane and go. "I need to shower, I need to get out of bed, and if you make the filght for tomorrow I'll just lay here until then anyway." Because since he'd gotten home he'd barely gotten out of bed at all.

"Promise me that you'll be on that plane when I come to pick you up," he said firmly. He remembered himself in his darkest times, saying that he would be somewhere and not showing up because he just didn't care. But he believed that a promise would mean something to Murphy and so he demanded one as he got up to get on the computer to book a flight.

"I promsie that I will be there." Even if he was going to be doing it with a frown and feeling put out because he really just wanted to be alone. he had a hard time telling anyone no, especially Parker.

Parker had a sense of that fact and right now, he was planning on using it to his advantage. After a few moments, he was able to give Murphy the information about his flight and the appropriate numbers to pick up his tickets at the airport. It wouldn't be long and Parker was glad for that because he wanted Murphy there now.

Without saying a word to his parents, Vegas, or Seth, Murphy just got up, showered and packed a few changes of clothes into a backpack and then headed out. He took a bus to the airport and managed to get there just in time for his flight, which wasn't really saying much because the airport was tiny and the security was easy to get through. He listened to his headphones for the short flight, just wanting to keep himself as distracted as he could.

Leaving a note for Callaway explaining everything in his usual verbose way, Parker left and took the car to go and get Murphy. There was a spare bedroom in the apartment and Parker had fixed it up a little before leaving. At the airport, he paced nervously, anxious to see Murphy, wishing he could just fix him right then and there.

By the time he got to the airport he was feeling nervous again, and shaky as he weaved around the people down to the baggage claim and past it so that he could just go outside and get some fresh air and find Parker. But Parker was waiting for him inside and when he saw him he changed course and started in that direction instead. He tried not to run but it got the better of him and he was jogging and then full on running to get past everyone.

Searching the crowd was nerve-wracking, but when he finally caught sight of the swift moving Murphy, Parker felt a wave of relieve come over him. He headed toward him to close the distance more quickly and gathered him up into a hug. "I'm so glad you came." Part of him really had been worried that not even a promise would get him there.

Murphy threw his arms carefully around Parker and just sank into a hug against him. It had been great to see Seth and to see Vegas, but it was nothing compared to the weight that was lifted off of him when Parker put his arms around him and he could smell the scent of the other boy, something that had grown to be such a comfort to him when he was back in that place.

Parker was able to enjoy the way Murphy felt against him because he had separated him from that place that he hated. It would bewilder him to know that Murphy liked him because he reminded him of the basement. He held him in an embrace for awhile, just standing there wrapping him up in his arms. To think that Adam almost had him again was a very scary thought.

Murphy didn't say anything for a long time, just stood there holding onto him like his life depended on it, and maybe it did. "I didnt' think that I would ever get to see you again." Most of him hadn't wanted to, if only because he wanted Parker to heal.

"I knew I'd see you again," Parker said with conviction. He was sorry that it was under these circumstances and that Murphy was so miserable, but Parker hoped a little while away from his old life would help him out. He pulled back to get a good look at him.

Murphy, if possible, was thinner. Paler. His eyes were still big, round, and full of all the things he couldn't say, though he wanted to. Lifting his hand up, he was self conscious of the way he looked because he didn't want Parker to think he was ugly. "I haven't really been sleeping that well."

He couldn't help but be a little surprised by the physical manifestation of Murphy's misery. To the contrary, Parker looked healthy, strong and bright eyed. Freedom suited him far more than depression and captivity. "The bed in the guest room is insanely comfortable." He was going to talk to Callaway about sleeping arrangements, having the desire to sleep next to Murphy, but uncertain of how Callaway would react to that.

Murphy nodded a little bit and he just took Parker's hand so that they could get out of the airport. Being in large crowds of people had started to become a problem and he knew that he was just a mess all around, but he didn't want to break down because there were too many people here. "Can we go?"

Nodding, Parker led Murphy out of the airport and out to the parking lot. He helped him with his bag, but kept a hold of his hand. Once in the car, Parker sighed and looked over at Murphy. "I'm looking forward to hearing you play again."

"Oh." Murphy's shoulder's sank a little bit. "I didn't bring my keyboard." He hadn't thought about it, if only because he hadn't played since the last time he had played for Adam at the house. He hadn't felt the desire to because Adam had always wanted so badly to hear him play and no one at home really wanted to.

"We'll find a piano," he said with a reassuring smile. Parker was genuinely happy, and pleased to have Murphy around again. It was a relief to realize that his presence didn't bring back too many bad memories and that he was going to be able to enjoy him. "Don't churches usually have a piano someplace?" He reached over to ruffle his hand through Murphy's hair, liking the freedom to touch him without bars inbetween them.

"You'd go to church with me?" Murphy went, usually on Sunday mornings. Sometimes he would drag Seth out of bed with him or sometimes he'd call Vegas, but most Sundays he went alone. He hadn't been in three years, and hadn't planned on going again, but hearing Parker mention it perked him up a little.

That surprised Parker. He'd meant maybe sneaking into a church and stealing their piano for a little while, but the way Murphy brightened at the idea of actually attending church made Parker smile a little. He and God hadn't been on the best of terms in a very long while, but that didn't mean he couldn't explore a service with Murphy. "All right, we can do that. We can look up churches in the phonebook when we get back to the apartment." He hesitated for a second, remembering Dog. "Do you like dogs?" He asked.

"Mhmm." Murphy had always wanted one but his mother had been terrified of letting him a dog. If he'd turned out to be allergic to it it would have only presented more problems for his breathing. And he was, really, fairly allergic to dogs, but it didn't stop him from playing with them or petting them, or wrestling around with them if they were big enough.

Parker seemed relieved at that. "Dog is pretty sweet. He's still getting used to me, but I like to think he remembers me from when he was a puppy." It still stung a little that he'd missed the entirety of his pet's life, but he shook the brief negativity off and started the car to head home. Once there, he insisted on carrying Murphy's bag up the stairs.

Murphy only had a backpack and it was fairly light. Four t-shirts, a pair of jeans, and a few changes of boxers. He had a book and his ipod in there too but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. But of course he let Parker carry it, the boy insisted.

Upstairs, Dog greeted them at the door, a large black lab who bounded up to Murphy with the confident demeanor of a dog who had lived a comfortable life. Parker gave him a bit of affection before leading Murphy into the guest bedroom. "The bathroom is down the hall," he noted. "We have spare towels and stuff in the hall closet."

Elijah, Adam, Parker (Backdated to when Elijah was first taken)

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 06:32:40 GMT

Elijah had been living on his own for a little over a year, and he had nestled himself into a very comfortable routine. He lived in a tiny little apartment alone, and he didn't need much. He went to college at the same time every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning. He went home at the same time every day afterwards for two hours, then went to work at a local music shop until close. He went to the grocery store every Tuesday at noon. Every Tuesday and Thursday he went to practice for the local orchestra that he was a part of, and every Saturday he taught three different boys violin lessons on the side. Sundays were his quiet days and he just stayed in at home.

It was a Saturday evening, and after his last student Elijah went home and let himself into his tiny apartment. He closed the door up behind him and locked it like always, then he went to go put his violin down on the table. He knew his way around his place like the back of his hand and if anyone who didn't really know him ever saw him in his own environment, they would never guess that he was blind if they couldn't see the way his eyes never seemed to focus on one thing.

He turned the TV on just for background noise, and there was a report on the news about a young violinist close to Elijah's age who had been attacked in his home a month prior. Elijah had heard the story before, and he just switched the channel to some music and went to go fix himself something to eat for dinner.

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 19:54:57 GMT

Clark was reading brochures. Technically, that wasn't in his job description and he was on company time, but it was a slow day, all of the tasks of the case had been delegated out and he wasn't the most skilled agent at crime fighting in the unit. He had a week paid vacation coming up and he planned to enjoy it thoroughly. The first case he'd worked with the BAU had been the Banks case and it had been disturbing enough to bother him at night. While he was sure he'd get over that issue in the long haul, he was still growing accustomed to the horrible things people could do to one another. Terrorism was one thing, but the personal psyche was ever darker, ever more unnerving.

In spite of his intelligence and his ability to read people, Ally was still a kid at heart, and truthfully so was Wyatt. So the two tended to hit it off sometimes and Wyatt was learning more sign language by the minute, so it was easier for them to talk to one another. They were just kind of running around together and they'd gone to get lunch while everyone else was working and screwing around. When they got back he walked over to the desk and he patted Clark on the shower to hand him the lunch he'd brought back for him.

Food was always a welcomed gift and he turned around to show his overjoyed facial expression at the offering. He had to admit, the kid always knew what he liked. For the moment, he set the brochures aside and glanced over at Wyatt with a polite smile. For some reason (rather obvious), Clark had never quite taken to the guy. He didn't like the idea that Ally had been so infatuated with him, and probably still was. Even if he was older and liked to think he was past all of that inadequacy stuff, he didn't like his odds if he ever had to go head to head with Wyatt. Wyatt picked up on the faint air of hostility and he always gave Clark a wide berth at the office. "How was your lunch?" Clark signed as he dug into his own.

"Good." Ally moved to sit down on the edge of Clark's desk and he helped him unwrap his sandwich. He opened the little bag of chips and dumped them out onto the paper so that he could pick at them while Clark at the sandwich. "We got sandwiches and ice creams. I got you a cone but I ate it on the way back." he laughed softly, but it was silent, it was just his shoulders shaking a little bit.

Very few people could take food from Clark and live to tell the tale. Ally was one of them, and he let the boy nibble off his chips, especially since he was the one who had brought them. "It isn't bad enough that you ate the ice cream, but you had to tell me about it to be sure I missed it?" He made a sad face, as if his heart was broken.

"I was thinking that we could go after work and get some ice cream before going home." He nudged his foot against Clark's and then he signed that he'd gotten his netflix and that Clark should come over to watch them with him. Really that meant they'd start a movie and probably spend the rest of the night making out or grinding on one another.

He loved watching movies with Ally, mainly for that reason. "We could do that," he nodded and kept eating his sandwich. After a few moments, he put it down so he could sign again. "What are you going to do without me when I'm on vacation? Are you going to put in for a substitute?" He wasn't sure he liked that idea. Once again, his worries about not being enough kicked in. What if the substitute was more proficient? Or just better in other ways?

"I don't know." He shrugged his shoulders a little bit. "Wyatt has gotten a lot better at signing, I thought maybe I'd just go without. Or maybe I'd put in for my vacation." Because he was due to take some time and he figured he could go up and visit his family. "Maybe I will go and see my dad and my brothers."

Their relationship wasn't very well expressed. It was anything but written in stone and Clark often found it confusing. But he thought it best to keep it like this just because of the age difference and the fact that they were co-workers. But as time went on, Clark realized how unsatisfying it was to adore someone so much and not be able to call them one's own. He regarded Ally for a moment, wanting to tell him that he should come with him on his vacation, that they would pick a place together, but he didn't say anything.

When Clark didn't say anything, Ally just took a few bites of his chips and then got up to walk around to his own desk so that he could work on his case files for a little bit. But he really couldn't focus and so he signed over at Clark. "Where do you think that you are going to go?"

"Someplace with water," he said thoughtfully. "Actually I was considering a cruise. Or maybe Las Vegas. Someplace with water or a buffet." He was the sort that could go on vacation alone and enjoy it immensely. But something was telling him that this year's trip wasn't going to be as good as the last because he'd be thinking about Ally.

That made him smile and he signed back that he would have loved to go somewhere with a buffet. If they had gone to Vegas together he kenw their entire trip would revolve around food but he wasn't going to ask Clark to take him with. "Do you think it would be really hard for me to get a sub while you are gone?"

Clark frowned a little and shrugged. "It would be easy to get one, but it would be impossible to get one as good as I am." He said that, but there was a part of him that was genuinely worried about that.

"Well I think that is true at least." Just because he clicked with Clark and they worked really well together. In a lot of ways. "Maybe I'll just stay here and save my vacation for when I actually have something I 'd like to do."

Clark nodded and looked back down at his brochures. Maybe he could wait for a vacation too. "So long as you don't make the sub cry, you could probably get by without me. Actually, since Wyatt has set his mind to learning sign language, he's practically certified." Wyatt learned with extraordinary aptitude.

"Well he does a very good job of talking to me, that's for sure." He nodded and he smiled over at Clark a little bit. "I could probably get by without you for a week, though it would be difficult."

"He does a good job of everything, I'm sure." There was the faintest hint of resentment there, even if he didn't want to feel it. It was hard to keep it from coming through in the motion of his hands.

Without caring about anyone that might see, he reached his hand up and settled it on top of Clark's to stop him from signing. He just let it rest there for a second before he drew it back to say, "He's not you."

Clark looked at the way Ally's hands simply couldn't cover his own. He liked that they were delicate by comparison to his own. "No, he's nearly the opposite of me." Clark wasn't worried about anyone seeing their interaction either. He didn't find a great deal wrong with workplace romances. He didn't necessarily include himself as a member of tje team either, so it was even less of an issue.

"Do you feel threatened by him?" The question was sort of casual and he tried not to make the look on his face match what he was thinking. He didn't want other people knowing what he was asking and because Wyatt was the only person who understood his signs he wasn't worried about it.

Even though he knew what Ally meant, Clark answered with a joke. "Threatened? I'm pretty sure I could take the smartypants in a fight." He passed the issue off with a laugh and a return of his attention to his lunch.

Ally caught the edge of the paper and tugged the sandwich out of Clark's reach before looking at him with a knowing look. He wanted a real answer, not a smart ass answer.

Clark frowned up at him. Food going in the opposite direction of his mouth was a sad thing. "No, I'm not." It was a lie, or more accurately a fib meant to avoid his own issues with their current underdefined relationship. If he was threatened, then it was something more than he was ready for.

Ally regarded him carefully and then pushed the paper back towards him so that he could have the rest of his sandwich. And he went back to work, having a feeling that this conversation was over.

That wasn't a very satisfying ending to their conversation, but Clark would take that over actually dealing with anything. When he finished his food, he got up to throw his stuff away and headed to the bathroom to clean up.

Ally couldn't help but wonder if maybe he was just a fun play thing for Clark and that he'd eventually tire of him. The thought was sort of scary, mostly because Ally knew his feelings were already deeply involved and it was just getting worse everyday.

Clark came back and sat at his little work area. There wasn't much for him to do when Ally wasn't interacting with someone. "Since this case is in DC, do you think they'll let you get out into the field?"

Ally shrugged his shoulders again. "Typically no. They only take me in the field when they really need me for something. I'm too much of a liability otherwise." Because he couldn't always be as aware of his surroundings as other people.

"Do you want to, or do you prefer the more intellectual side?" He realized that he had never talked about stuff like that with Ally. What if he didn't even know the boy very well.

"I really wanted to be a field agent. I passed all the tests and everything with flying colors. I can handle the physical endurance and all of that. It's just the hearing. I can't be in the hfield because I can't hear what is going on around me."

"Have you ever considered getting an implant to help you hear again?" Technology had not been anywhere close to developing a cochlear implant when his mom was alive, but he often wondered if she would have gotten one.

"No, I haven't." His dad had brought it up to him once and it had resulted in a fight about not being good enough just because he was deaf, and his father had backed down. He wasn't really looking to repeat the fight with Clark so he said nothing more on the subject after that and pointedly did not look back up at him after that.

Just because Ally had let him off the hook didn't mean Clark would return the favor. "Their success rate is astounding. The adaptation only slows as you get older though. You really should consider it if you want ro do field work. You wouldn't be giving up your identity."

"I don't want to have brain surgery. If they mess up they could kill me and I'm too young to die." He said, as if that was the only reason why he didn't do it, but there were so many.

Clark scooted his chair close to Ally's. Reaching up with his hand, he slid hosbfingers against the bone that was right behind Ally's ear. "It's an extremely low risk operation. They don't go very far in, just under here. Most patients go home the next morning." He understood all the issues with it, having studied and been a part of deaf culture his whole life. But he was under the impression that Ally's hearing was holding him back from doing something he really wanted to do.

"And if I get it and I can hear then I wouldn't need you and you'd be out of a job." He sighed, liking the way it felt to have Clark's fingers in his hair and he just closed his eyes for a moment to concentrate on that and nothing else. "And I don't want to get my hopes up about anything and if I decided to do it, I will."

"You would still need me for quote awhile. Your brain won't adapt its language centers overnight." Instead of removing his jand, je kept it there, slidimg a little higher and letting the side of his thumb graze the shell of Ally's ear. "What's wrong with some hope?"

"Because what if it doesn't work? I can't take not getting to be a field agent again. It was hard enough to hear them tell me no the first time." And if he tried again, and failed again, he knew it would crush him.

Clark didn't like hearing that and he pulled his hand back. "Well I can't force you to go for it." Even if he thought the kid should at least look into it.

When Clark pulled his hand back he felt like he'd said something wrong, but it was the truth, which made the recoil even harder. His mood dropped in an instant and he turned his attention back to the computer.

He could understand being told no was hard, but part of why he liked Ally so much was that he seemed like the type of person who didn't give up. Clark went back to his own work.

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 19:49:32 GMT

The back and forth of the train as they made their way from West Virginia to Idaho lulled Murphy as he drifted in and out of consciousness. Being awake didn't necessarily mean he was entirely there and it was several minutes to an hour before he started to really come around. At first everything was blurry. The trees whipping by the window he was leaned up against. His shoulders were hunched up and it allowed his face to stay relatively hidden from Adam, though he opened his eyes and tried to see where the other man was and what was going on. He shifted slightly, though he tried to stay as still as possible so that Adam didn't know he was awake.

Adam had invested in a personal compartment for the long haul that spanned numerous states. It did not, however, come with its own bathroom. Those sorts of rooms had been available, but they were a good deal more expensive and Adam needed to save money until he could pick up a few contracting jobs in Idaho once they settled down. He just didn't know how he was going to handle Murphy until then. He didn't have his secure basement anymore and he knew he couldn't keep the boy sedated for that much longer without risking his breathing. For now, however, Murphy seemed sedated well enough for Adam to leave him alone while he went to the bathroom. He needed a shower and they had a small one just down the hall for passengers. So that's where he was at the moment, heated water hitting his face.

Once Murphy completely realized that Adam was gone he got his cell phone out of his pocket. There wasn't a lot of battery left and he was thanking his lucky stars he'd put it on silent because there were dozens of missed calls and text messages from Seth and Vegas and his parents. But he skipped right past those and found Liam's number in his phonebook . He tucked his head down and pressed the phone to his ear, wanting it to seem as though he were still asleep should Adam decide to come back in while he was making his call.

As soon as Murphy had gone missing again, Liam had taken the case back up. The team had worked two cases at the same time before, and he let Emma and Mick take the lead on the gunned down prostitutes while he and Chancellor pooled their efforts back into finding Murphy while the trail was still hot. Currently, Wyatt was running the possibilities of Amtrak stations out of West Virginia when Liam's phone rang and he picked up. "Montgomery here."

"Agent Montgomery." he whispered into the phone, keeping his voice down so he didn't alert anyone outside of the train. "It's Murphy Knite. I need your help." His voice was stressed and that much was obvious even though he was whispering.

"Murphy," he said with surprised and looked up at Wyatt, who immediately went to get Jude to put a trace on the current call and Murphy's number since it was in use. "What's going on? Are you hurt? Are you with Adam right now?" That was his biggest concern. If Murphy was with Adam then he was in danger of disappearing again, not to mention, Murphy was now their main connection to the man.

"I don't know where he went, I'm alone right now, but I don't know for how long." And he knew if he got up and tried to run, the drugs in his system would keep him from getting very far because he was still feeling so sluggish and slow. "I'm on a train, we're going to Idaho. He found me on the train back to West Virginia and he took me to a hotel. I just woke up, I don't know how far we are from Idaho or anything like that."

It was going to be a little difficult to track exactly where the train was at this point in time or where it would stop next, but immediately, Liam set Wyatt to working out the probabilities. If they'd been in a hotel then it was most probable that they'd left sometime within the last twelve hours, since that morning. "Can you look outside? What is the landscape like?" They were passing beyond cities, the lay of the land looked populated. Nothing like the flat open expanses of places farther west. They were still only or hours out of West Virginia.

"I don't know." Murphy looked out the window and he tried to see what was out there. "It looks like a city. I can see buildings and houses. I don't know where it is though, I can't see any signs or anything. I'm too far away and my vision is blurry." he tucked his head down again and just closed his eyes. "I'm really dizzy and I feel like I am going to throw up."

Liam felt a well of panic and he looked to Chancellor for some sort of reassurance. When the man wasn't there, Liam himself was his only source of confidence. But when Chancellor was close to him, he still looked to the man for comfort. "Don't try to move much more." He didn't want Murphy's blood pressure to drop. "We're coming after you. There's a trace on your cell phone. Leave it on for as long as you can so we can make sure to get a lock. Don't worry, Murphy. Everything will be okay."

"The battery doesn't have a lot of time left on it. I'm down to the last bar, I don't know how much longer, but I can leave it on. Do I need to stay connected with you or should I hang up?" he asked softly. "I don't know how much longer I can stay on the phone, he could be back any moment." And he didn't want Adam to catch him with the phone.

Adam had slipped into the compartment quietly, not wanting to stir Murphy before he got the chance to sedate him again. He was surprised to find him awake and on the phone. His blood ran cold and he reached down to take the phone from Murphy's hand. "Let me guess, Agent Montgomery. How's Reagan doing? Good I hope. I'm afraid Murphy can't talk anymore." And with that, he snapped the phone shut, turning it off and then for good measure, putting it under his heel and crushing it with one sharp jerk of his leg.

Murphy looked up at him slowly, his eyes lifting so that he could see Adam's face. His hair was wet and he looked good, which made Murphy's heart ache. The fact that he was turning him in, knowing that he would be sent away, it just broke his heart. "Adam..." he knew that he wasn't going to get a chance to reason with him.

"I told you you would betray me. You're the reason it won't work, not me." He flopped down onto the seat, unable to think at the moment. All of the wind was out of him at the possibility that he was going to go to prison, going to be separated from all of the things that he loved.

"I wouldn't have betrayed you if I had thought for one second that you would make good on everything. You drugged me. You drugged me and you knew it could have killed me but you didn't trust me, so why should I trust you?"

"YOU denied everything I wanted to give you. You said you didn't want it. You said it wasn't going to work. You did this." He hitched his knees up and scooted himself as far away from Murphy as possible. It wasn't the idea of prison that scared him--he'd been through worse things in his life. But the idea of being unable to complete his work was terrifying and he was breaking down again.

"Stop it." He said softly. He scooted closer to him and put his hand on his knee, holding onto him. "We don't have long now, Adam. Don't fall apart." Murphy was going to lose it, he knew he was going to, but he had to do this to save Seth's life and Vegas'.

"Fuck you!" He kicked at Murphy with his barefeet. "You said you loved me. I gave you EVERYTHING!" He raised his voice as much as he dared in the train. "Get away from me. I'm leaving you at the next stop. They won't find me and I won't come for you again. Is that what you wanted? For me to just go away?"

"No." Murphy recoiled when Adam kicked him and he hit the side of the window. Everything ached from the impact and he closed his eyes for a second before just looking at him again. "You said you were going to kill them. I couldn't let you kill them. No matter how much I love you."

"Stop saying that you love me." His tone took on a very dark edge to it. It was hard to reconcile Murphy's action with the perfect little world he'd created in his own head, and so everything was falling apart. The only thing that made sense was the side of him who didn't trust the boys, who had taken pleasure in hurting them.

"I love you. It's your fault. It's your fault that I'm this way and that this happened. What do you want from me? Do you want me to just let you lock me away? To let you keep me in a cage? It'll kill me. You'll kill me.'

"I WILL NOT KILL YOU." That was the last straw. How dare Murphy suggest that his actions would kill him when in his version of purpose, he was saving these boys from themselves. "You do not love me. You're just like her. You're too fucking selfish to take my help. You're too sad to even see me trying to help."

"I'll just kill myself then." Murphy told him, feeling as low as he could possibly get at this point. "I'll kill myself and then I really will be just like her." He got up, his body wavering as he stood and he put his hand against the window to try to keep himself from tipping over.

"With what?" he said angrily. "There's nothing you can use here. I've made it safe." He stood up and forced Murphy back down onto the seat, refusing to let him move. He was still compelled to protect him, no matter how angry he was.

"I'll find a way." Murphy tried to shove back at Adam. "You have the drugs with you. I could overdose. It would be easy. It wouldn't take too much to kill me, cause my lungs to seize up and I will suffocate to death. It would be so easy, Adam. Just let it happen."

"Shut up." He said, shoving Murphy down harder. He was done with this. Locking the compartment, he sat down in front of the door and kept his bag with him. He needed to think. He needed to figure out if escaping himself was worth risking Murphy's life again.

Murphy stayed still for a few minutes, his head spinning. He really felt like he was going to throw up, though at this point what would have been worse? Sliding off of the seat he crawled to the door and he put his hands against it. "Adam please."

"Please what? Let you kill yourself? I hate you for suggesting it. Do you hear me? I hate you." Just like he hated his mother even in the midst of missing her so much. He was crying when he lifted his head up to look at the other.

"Then why do you care? If you hate me then why do you care?" He was so angry at this point. "You were going to kill them and I couldn't let you do that." he slammed his fist against the door. "Dont' you understand that?"

Adam shook his head. "I wasn't going to kill him." He'd threatened to kill Seth, but he hadn't meant it. Not that Murphy would have been able to tell. Adam had been very passionate at the time. "I was trying to make you stay." He actually flinched at the way the boy hit his fist against the door and he reached up to grab his wrist to prevent him from doing it again.

Murphy was so upset he didn't even know what to do. "This isn't fair, it's not fair, Adam. I couldn't let you kill him, I couldn't." He sank against him and leaned his forehead to the man's. "We'll destroy each other. They'll take you somewhere where you can get help." And Murphy, well, he'd probably only destroy himself.

"They'll take me somewhere where I'll die and somewhere where I can't protect you." Despite his anger, having Murphy this close was intoxicating and he squeezed his eyes shut to hold back tears. "I'm never going to see you again."

"I'll visit you. I will come and see you. They can't deny you visitors." he brushed his fingers gently along his cheeks and he kissed him again. "I will see you and you'll be okay."

"Then I'll be in a cage and you'll like that, won't you," he snapped cruelly, pushing Murphy away from him. He wouldn't have control in the place he was going, he would have nothing that made him human.

Falling back onto his butt he couldn't help but start to cry. "I didn't want this for you." But he didn't want his life for any one else Adam might have kidnapped if he had gotten away.

The crying upset Adam, confused him. He wanted to make it better for Murphy, but he was also still furious. Lunging forward, he landed on top of the boy and wrapped his big hands around Murphy's delicate neck. He squeezed lightly, just threatening. "I should take you before I go," he said as he leaned down next to Murphy's ear.

Murphy fell back and he tried to stop crying but the hand on his throat scared him. He just nodded, agreeing with the sentiment though he wasn't entirely sure of what it meant. "I'm going to miss you." he whispered, a slight wheeze to his voice.

The wheeze was finally satisfying when before it had been so scary. "No you're not. You had me and you threw me away." His hands squeezed more tightly, cutting off some of the air. It would be fitting for Murphy to die this way, he thought. But he knew he couldn't do it, for all of his posturing. He released Murphy and instead just kissed him with command.

Murphy kissed him back, hungry for it as he wrapped his arms around Adam's shoulders. His fingers tangled in the back of Adam's shirt and he let out a soft and needy moan. He didn't want to lose him, but he couldn't let Adam have or hurt anyone else.

He was letting himself cry now, and the tears mixed with the taste of the kiss. He slipped his thigh between Murphy's legs, hitching it up so that it created pressure and friction against his groin.

Murphy's hips came up and his body responded. This was the last time he'd get to have Adam so he thought only of him and only of how good Adam had been to him on occasion. He was already hard, completely ready for the other man to have him one last time. And there was a small, very tiny hope that when he was through Adam would kill him.

There was urgency to this because he didn't know how long they had together. He tried to forget about his feeling of betrayal, but it came through in his movements. He was being rougher than he usually was, hand fisting into Murphy's hair and yanking his head to the side to expose his neck so he could kiss it with contrasting kindness.

To say it didn't hurt would be a lie, but he didn't care about the pain. All he cared about was getting closer to him, having him. Both of his hands slid down and he jerked at Adam's pants, working them open. He tried to give Adam what he needed, he tilted his head farther to the side. "I love you."

"Don't say that," he hissed against his skin. That couldn't be his fantasy anymore, he couldn't reconcile what Murphy had done with his previous ideas about the world. He pulled back with a jerk and stood up, pulling Murphy to his feet before he started to undo the younger man's pants. This was rapidly just becoming about claiming his territory.

Murphy frowned and he knew that Adam was not going to be kind to him any longer and he didn't blame the man. He'd betrayed him in the worst possible way and he knew he had to do something to make it up to him. At least a little. "I do."

He slapped Murphy, hitting him hard for saying that. It was forcing him to confront just how fucked up his delusions had been and he was breaking. He yanked so hard at Murphy's pants that he ripped the fly as he pulled them down. Not bothering with his shirt, he turned Murphy around and shoved him against the large, flat window in the train compartment.

Murphy barely got his hands up to keep himself from going face first into the glass. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against it anyway, he didn't try to fight back. There was no use and he wanted to give Adam what he wanted. At least one last time.

His hand grabbed against Murphy's hip, forcing them back a little so that his ass pressed in against Adam's groin. He was hard, turned on by this more than he wanted to admit. Most of the time, Adam had separated violence from sex. If the boys weren't compliant, he didn't force them to fuck. He punished them for it, but he didn't have sex with them. But now, he wouldn't have cared if Murphy struggled or not. Reaching down, he pulled himself out of his pants, not bothering to take them off. With a handslick of spit for lubricant, he thrust into Murphy, pushing forcefully past any resistance.

Murphy cried out, unprepared for the pain. Even in all the times he'd given it up to Adam it hadn't ever been like this before. Maybe this was just what he needed, and he refused to fight him for that reason. Instead he choked back a few sobs and tightened his fingers into fists, as though that might help.

He wanted it to hurt, wanted to punish him for screwing up his plan and (how Adam saw it) screwing up his own life. There was no sweet admiration, or adoring caresses like there used to be. There was just his cock thrusting into Murphy's body, relentless in its urge to get off inside of him. Reaching around to grope at Murphy's cock, Adam was sure that there was some pleasure in this for him. Deep down, he thought Murphy wanted to be treated like a thing.

Murphy kept crying. Somewhere along the way he'd gone limp, the arousal gone. He was barely half mast. Adam's groping didn't help and he just cried harder. If this was how he was going to remember Adam maybe it would do him good in getting over the man. Maybe.

When he found the boy had gone softer, he grit his teeth and pressed his face agains the back of Murphy's neck. His entire world was a lie. He kept thrusting, using Murphy's body to get off. When he came, it was silent and frozen for a few seconds before he pulled out and pushed Murphy away.

Murphy was still crying and he struggled to get his pants back up. They were torn and he couldn't close them but it didn't matter. He just sank down, curled up against the seat. Maybe Adam would be better off now, better off without him. "I'm sorry."

"For which part? Being disgusted by me, or sending me to prison?" His voice had gone hollow and as he put himself away, he wouldn't even look at the boy. "Will you still come to visit me, Murphy? Because you'll miss me so much? They won't let us have conjugal visits, you know." Sardonic.

"I'm not disgusted. You hurt me." He hadn't ever really done that before and Murphy was scared. "I'll come visit you, as often as I can." He kept his head down and his face covered.

"I won't come to see you," he said pettily, like a scorned lover. He hitched his knees up on the seat, leaning in the corner and falling silent. He'd given up the desire to run. His mind wasn't even working out methods of escape now.

"I will come and sit there until it is over then." And if Adam refused to see him then it was Adam's choice. He stayed huddled in the corner, his arms around his knees/

It was a good thirty minutes before the train stopped and Adam went to look out the window. They were at a station but this was an unscheduled pause and he knew what was happening. He wondered how many of them there would be and he wondered if Liam would be amongst them. No, probably not given the short time. "It will be torture to see you," he murmured before he jumped at a knock on the compartment door. "Adam Banks? Adam Banks, open up." Came the gruff voices.

Murphy said nothing. Instead he just sat there, knees against his chest. He was very quickly unraveling and he felt like he was going to completely fall apart if he wasn't careful. "I love you. Goodbye." he murmured.

Adam considered his options. He wondered if he could attack the officers severely enough to be shot. He wondered if he had enough sedative in his bag to just kill himself before they forced the door open. No, he had a drive to live and no matter what was ahead of him, he wanted to see it through. He wouldn't do the same thing his mother did. He didn't have time to consider much else because the police came inside and while one took care of Adam, the other knelt down by Murphy. "Sir, are you all right?"

Murphy said nothing, just wrapped his arms tighter around his knees while he watched them put Adam into handcuffs. He felt like he was dying on the inside and there was nothing he could do. "Don't hurt him." he said softly.

Adam stared at Murphy, trying to drink in as much of him as possible. But he didn't say anything and he didn't fight. The officer next to Murphy put his hand on the boy's shoulder. "No one's going to hurt him," he said with confidence, but it was only meant to reassure the victim. He helped Murphy to his feet. "We have an ambulance outside and they'll take you to the hospital. Your family will be notified."

"I don't want anyone to notify my family. I don't want to go to the hospital. I would just like to get a train ticket to go home." He didn't want to fly and he didn't want everyone making a fuss. "I can take care of it myself if you just let me off at this station."

The officer felt badly about having to force Murphy to go to the hospital. "I'm sorry, Sir, but it's standard procedure to get you checked out. You can discuss calling your family once you get there." He was a young man, a rooky in all senses of the word and while he spoke with confidence, there was an air of worry to him. He put his hand against Murphy's back and started to escort him out of the train. Adam was in the police car already and the man's partner was phoning it in.

Murphy grabbed his bag and Adam's as he left the train and he kept his arms wrapped firmly around Adam's things. When they got off of the train he pulled away from the officer's touch and he just started walking away from him and in the direction of the ticket booth. He had no intention of letting them take him to the hospital.

There was nothing the man could do to force Murphy into treatment. He watched him go and told his partner to radio that in too. He assumed the bags were his and not evidence. Once headquarters was notified, they called Montgomery to tell him that Banks had been apprehended and Murphy had refused to cooperate.
-----------------

Murphy got away from the officer and he found some money in his bag as he approached the ticket counter. Honestly he didn't even know if he wanted to go home. Part of him just wanted to disappear into nothingness. Carry out the train ride to Idaho without Adam and be alone there. He was shaking by the time he bought his ticket back to Chester and he had a few hours to wait so he just went and found a place to sit, to curl up, knees against his chest, clutching Adam's bag like it was his life line.

With the information that Murphy had simply walked away from the police, Liam tried to call the boy's cell phone. He and Chancellor had been on the road for about an hour. Liam wanted to be there and see for himself that Adam had been apprehended. It wasn't necessarily his place at this point, but he needed to see it. But instead of going to the police station where Adam was being held, he pulled into the train station. "There he is," Liam pointed out the windshield at Murphy who could be seen through the windows.

Chancellor got out of the car and he waited for Liam. He didn't always have the finest touch when it came to victims and he didn't want to go upsetting Murphy any farther than he already had been. Murphy didn't even see them coming, he just had his chin on top of Adam's bag, clinging to it like it was the last piece of attachment he had to the earth.

Liam took the lead inside, wishing he had a degree in counseling or something more useful than his own educational background. He was compassionate, but not necessarily skilled in the kind of treatment Murphy so clearly needed. Going up to him, he knelt down in front of him. "They say you didn't want to go to the hospital?"

"I'm going home." Murphy said softly, looking down at Liam from where he was sitting in the chair. "I bought a ticket to Chester, my train leaves in another two hours." and that was fine, he didn't need to go to the hospital to be looked at. He knew if he went they would wash all of the last traces of Adam off of him and for now he didn't want that. "I'll be fine."

"We'll drive you back," Liam offered. "You shouldn't be alone right now. Maybe I can call Vegas to come and get you? Or he can meet you back at Quantico and we can give you a ride there." He presented quite a few options, wanting to convey that ultimately, it was up to Murphy and the only reason Liam suggested any of it was because he was concerned about him. "You miss him. Is that his bag?" Unlike the officers, Liam could tell the differenc between the way Murphy treated his own bag and the one that had belonged to Adam.

Murphy tightened his arms around it. "Don't." He curled his fingers into the fabric so tightly that his knuckles went white. "Don't, it's all I've got." his eyes were welled up with tears and if Liam tried to take the bag from him he was going to have quite the scene on his hand. "I already have a ticket, I'll just take the train." Because he didn't want to fall apart in front of anyone else and he needed time to figure out what he was going to do.

Liam was worried that the sedatives were still in the bag and that the way Murphy was feeling know, he might use them. But one shouldn't be making life and death decisions when he was so distraught. "I'll go with you then." He said firmly. "Chancellor didn't do all this work to not see you home safely again." And now that Adam was caught, he wouldn't be taking Murphy again.

"Why?" He asked softly. "I don't even know if I'm going home." He was going back to Chester because he'd bought a ticket for that state on the fly but when he got there he wasn't sure where he was going to go. Maybe by the time he got home he'd want to see Seth and Vegas but right now he just wanted to be alone.

"Why do we want you home safely? Because you have people who care about you back there and who are counting on us to protect you. I know it's hard right now--you feel as if you loved someone and you betrayed them. But you didn't betray him; if anything you saved his life and the life of others he was inevitably going to kidnap. Unsubs like Adam don't ever stop."

Murphy just nodded. He knew that. Deep down, somewhere, he knew that Adam wouldn't have stopped and that he would have just gotten worse until he killed someone and then he'd go to jail and maybe get the death penalty. But it didn't make him feel any better right that second. If anything it just made him feel a little worse because it was him, of all people, that turned him in. "It's not the same anymore. Seth doesn't love me like he did. I'm different and Vegas and my parents know it and they wish the old me was back but I can't be the old me."

"There is no old you, Murphy. It's just you all the time and people change and that's okay. Things will get better." He wasn't positive of that, but he spoke confidently enough for anyone listening to him to believe he was certain. "And what makes you say Seth doesn't love you like he did before? Because of his drinking?"

"He just loves it more than me." Murphy frowned. "He loved me enough to give it up last time and this time he loves it more." He didn't know what to do with himself. "There's no where for me to go. I feel trapped in my old room at my parents but the place that Seth got when he lost our apartment is horrible and tiny and I feel like I"m suffocating."

"He doesn't love it more. Please don't believe that he loves alcohol more than you. When I was with Chancellor, I loved him very much and it was hard to stop. Give him time. He can't stop just for you. It would be like asking Adam to stop what he was doing for you."

"I don't think I can just wait anymore. What if he wants to keep drinking forever? Then what do I do?" He looked over at Chancellor and then back at Liam again. "You guys were together?"

"Then you move on. Don't put the responsibility on yourself. Maybe he'll come around, maybe he won't, but he'll still love you." He glanced up at Chancellor and nodded. "Yeah, we were."

Murphy was quiet for a few long minutes and then he looked at Liam again. "Can I ride with you?" Because he figured it would be easier for him in the car than on the train.

"Yes, of course." That relieved him immensely and he stood up. "Let's go. We're going to stop by the police station."

Murphy sniffled and he moved to stand up. One hand went down to tug his pants up a little more because they kept sliding down. Adam had ripped the zipper and the button off and by now the come and blood had stained the insides of his thighs. "Can I see him?"

Liam noticed when he stood up and it was all he could do to keep from saying no. "If you really want, yes." Liam looked at Chancellor as if he needed an idea as to what to do.

"Maybe I will just sit in the car." Murphy wasn't sure but he could tell that Liam didn't think that it was a very good idea. Chancellor just looked Murphy over and he glanced up at Liam. He wasn't really sure what to do either at this point. The kid was refusing medical help. The best they could do would be to take him if he passed out at some point along the way. For now he just put his hand at Murphy's elbow and helped him along to the car because he was limping.

Liam didn't want to deny him his choice to see Adam, but seeing Murphy's ripped pants made him ill. "Did he do that to you?" He asked quietly as he got Murphy into the car.

"It was my fault." Murphy kept a hold of the bag and just leaned his head against the car window. "It doesn't really matter anymore. I can wait in the car, he said he wouldn't see me if I ever came to visit him anyway."

"All right," he said sadly. He couldn't argue with him for fear that it would only upset him further. He got in the car himself and headed to the police station. "Do you want to stay in the car with him," Liam asked Chancellor.

Chancellor nodded. "Maybe we should stop somewhere after and get him something clean to wear." he suggested. It was a long drive back and he wanted to make sure that Murphy was comfortable and that he could maybe even sleep in the back seat on the way home.

Liam nodded, it was a good idea. Without another word, he got out of the car and headed inside. He wasn't gone for very long and when he returned he was very quiet. He felt better, but was confused about the whole Murphy situation. He drove to a Kmart he'd seen on the drive into town. "What size do you wear? I'll run in and grab something. Pajama bottoms maybe?"

"Probably a small." If he was getting pajamas bottoms. Chancellor fished two twenties out of his wallet and he handed them over to Liam. "Maybe get him a pillow too and a blanket. Bottle of water." He looked over his shoulder at Murphy. "did you want to go inside and maybe get cleaned up?"

Murphy just nodded and he looked down at the bag in his arms. "I promise I won't take it or anything from it. If you want I can come inside too, and we can leave the bag locked in the car." Chancellor offered and he just nodded. Murphy stuffed everything down onto the floor and then got slowly out of the car.

Liam walked behind Murphy to better cover him up. He didn't want him to feel embarrassed, if he felt anything at all. Once inside, he led them to the bathroom and then sent Chancellor to go get the stuff while he stayed there to help Murphy.

Murphy ducked into the bathroom and he went to the sink to get some paper towels so he could try to clean himself up as best he could. Murphy looked over at Liam. "Do you think that you can just stand outside the door to make sure no one comes in?"

"Of course," he said softly. Liam did as he was asked, leaning against the entrance. He wished there was a button he could push to make Murphy understand how sick Adam was and that he wasn't worth this grief.

Murphy cleaned himself up as best he could, and he tried to make sure not to make a mess of the bathroom because he didn't want anyone to have to clean up after him. Once he was cleaned up he came out of the bathroom. Chancellor was already back with a few things and he handed him a pair of new boxers and pajama bottoms. Both were black in case he bled more, though there hadn't been much blood in the first place.

Liam urged the boy to go and put them on and when he was back in the bathroom, Liam just looked at Chancellor for a few moments before speaking. "Feel like giving him any advice about having an alcoholic boyfriend?"

"Thinking about it." Chancellor said. "But I don't want him to end up doing what I did." Which was giving Liam everything he wanted until there was nothing left to take. "I don't want him to have to watch his partner sober and in love with someone else." Not if it was going to end like it did for him.

"I've been trying to tell him that. I think he needs to let the other kid go for awhile. Not that I don't think Seth needs help, but I don't think Murphy has much left to give and I don't want them to be as broken as we are."

"That might be the advice I give him." He reached up and brushed his hand against Liam's cheek and he gave him a very fond smile before letting his hand slip away. When Murphy came out he offered him his hand again, taking him by the elbow to take some of the pressure off of him as he walked.

The touch was a welcomed comfort. This trip was messing with his mind on a level he hadn't expected. But he was eager to get home to tell Reagan that Adam had been captured. He wanted to know more about Murphy as well and would ask him. Leaving the store, Liam noticed that the bag had a Reese's peanut butter cup in it. "That one best be for me," he smiled faintly.

"You know that it is." Chancellor still remembered all of Liam's favorites and he was still all for indulging him in any way he saw fit. "I got a few different candy bars, something you can pick for yourself Murphy." He wanted to make sure he was fed, even if it was just a candy bar.

Liam laughed a little, especially when the milk duds came into view. "You're good," he noted as he got in the car and handed Murphy back the sack. There was water, and some bedding. "Sleep and food will do you good."

Chancellor had managed to get him a pillow with a little pillow case and a blanket. Murphy put the pillow down and he got some of the candy out of one of the boxes to eat it once he was settled.

It comforted Liam a little to think that Murphy was at least eating and hopefully sleeping. The drive back to Quantico was a couple hours long and mostly quiet. Along the way, Liam had called Murphy's parents and Vegas to come pick him up.

Murphy had fallen asleep almost right away once he was laid down and Chancellor stayed quiet. For some of the way he just let his hand rest against Liam, comforted by the touch. And for some of the ride he spent it texting Mick, because she was more or less the best friend he had aside from Liam.

When Murphy was back with his family, Liam went to thank Chancellor for going with him. The case was officially closed on their end. He sat on Chancellor's desk, regarding him. "I would have lost it harder without you around."

"I'm glad that you didn't." He smiled as he came over to stand just in front of Liam. He put his hands in his pockets and he stayed back far enough that he wasn't tempted to try to get any closer to him.

He nodded with a relieved laugh. "They'll probably send him to a hospital since I get the feeling he didn't really know what harm he was causing. Parker wrote about how he thought he was saving them from something." He didn't know how he felt about that.

"Mick told me that when Murphy was here, before going to see you, he asked if he could testify on Adam's behalf in court. He doesn't think he belongs in prison but in a hospital where he can get help." That had alarmed him a little bit. "I hope that Murphy's family take him to get checked out."

"I'll call them and reccommend it." He thought the boy needed help too. At least someone to talk to. Glancing over at Chancellor, he pressed an issue that probably didn't need pressing. "Are you doing anything about Comfort?"

"I found out where he is now, where he's working. I was going to go there this afternoon to speak with him but then this came up." he straightened his tie, fidgeting with it a little bit because he was a little uncomfortable talking to Liam about Cooper.

Noting the discomfort, Liam shut up about the man. It was nice not to be arguing with Chancellor and he didn't want to start something. "Well, back to the other case then."

Chancellor nodded. "I am going to go ahead and go back to the hotel. I might still have time to go and see Comfort if I hurt." he looked at his watch, not sure what time Starbucks closed.

He didn't show how he felt about that, simply nodding. He got up and headed back to his office to finish up for the day.

To Mick

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 20:34:08 GMT

Misty Rains was the name she gave the woman who took her information. It was second nature to use that name instead of her real one. She knew that the agents upstairs would find out her real name because it was in the letter she had in her jeans pocket, but before she could correct herself the woman had called up to send someone down to fetch her. "Yes, she says she has information relating to the current DC shootings. No, she won't tell me exactly what but she says the local PD sent her here."

Brie shifted nervously from foot to foot, wondering if this was the right decision. Years ago, back in Texas, she'd had a stalker. Harmless, she thought. More of a secret admirer than something she feared. The incident never went reported and when she'd moved to Washington DC for school, she assumed that she'd left him behind. She hadn't even thought of him for years and wouldn't have if it hadn't been for the letter she'd received a couple days ago.

reagan, liam

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 11:05:17 GMT

It had taken about a week for Reagan to be able to pick up a paintbrush and paint something substantial. Once he'd started, though, it was like the flood gates had been opened and he lost himself in painting for hours while Liam was at work. He had his laptop open and music playing, all of the songs on shuffle, and when he realized it was the playlist that had been playing when he'd first brought Liam home with him he paused to listen for a moment. Most of it was Depeche Mode. A soft smile spread across his lips and he went back to painting, completely lost in the music and what he was creating. He wasn't even sure what it was just yet, but he always liked those paintings the best.

Liam was exhausted. The drive back to the BAU had been long. But with Murphy sleeping in the backseat, things had been satisfyingly peaceful and Liam felt accomplished. Once he got back to the office, je wrapped up all that he could and then headed home eagerly.

He heard the music from downstairs and after slipping off his shoes and loosening his tie, he headed down. Making sure not to sneak up on Reagan, Liam made his presence known with a clearing of his throat as he moved into view. "Good news," he said, voice full of relief.

When Reagan heard the footsteps on the stairs, he abandoned his paintbrush in a cup of water before he got up to grab a towel so that he could wipe his hands off. When Liam came into view, he smiled softly. He'd been worried about Murphy, even before - when they'd first gotten rescued, and his worry had only grown.

"I like good news," he said as he tossed the towel aside and went over to slip his arms around Liam's waist. "What is it?" He had hopes, but he wanted to hear it.

"Murphy is safe. He's upset and pretty lost emotionally, but physically he's going to be all right. We found him in the train station. He'd refused any help from the police officers." As Liam spoke, he realized it didn't sound like that great of news. "They got Adam," he added and that made it much better.

He let himself relax against his husband, finally able to feel like he had him fully back because the man who had taken him would be broght to justice.

Reagan closed his eyes and let out a breath of relief. A part of him really had believed that maybe Murphy would never be seen again, that maybe a part of Murphy would always want to be with Adam, as disturbing as that thought was. It was good to hear that not only was Adam in custody, but that Murphy was safe.

"He's home?" he asked, pulling back to look at Liam. "Did you make sure he got home?" He was speaking of Murphy, he wasn't quite yet ready to speak of Adam.

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 19:45:00 GMT

When Murphy finally got on the train to go back to Chester, Adam was intensely relieved. It was hard to be close to the BAU and especially Liam. There was no one in the world he hated more. The man had one thing he wanted and had ruined the other things. These things being people. But he'd been following Murphy at a distance. He was the first he wanted back; the one he couldn't live without. He bought two train tickets with cash, and then another so he could get onto Murphy's train. When he found him, he sat next to him, an aisle seat, blocking Murphy's exit. He sat there silently, as if he was just another passenger.

At first Murphy didn't even look up. He was listening to his headphones, head head resting against the glass as he watched the scenery pass by. He had one foot up on the seat across from him and he was tapping his fingers against his knee, enjoying moving them like he was playing the piano. After a few moments, when he realized someone was sitting next to him, he lifted his head and looked over. Just a glance and then back out the window but he froze completely once it registered in his mind who he had just seen. His heart started to beat a little harder and he licked over his lips before looking back over at Adam. Oh god.

The compartment was empty and that had certainly been a blessing. He reached up and took Murphy's headphones off, hand trembling with emotion. "It's okay. Please don't be scared. I had to see you again. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner." Adam was hanging between lucidity and his delusions. Half of him knew Murphy would want to be rescued from horrible Seth. The other half knew that he was fucking crazy. Losing the boys had thrown some things into sharp relief.

Murphy felt crazy in that moment too, because part of him was happy to see Adam sitting there beside him. His heart was still pounding, he was afraid of being taken, being caged and pinned down. A tremble ran through his body and he closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again. Adam was still there. He licked over his lips again and took a breath before speaking. "I was worried that you were going to hurt yourself or someone else."

Adam looked haggard, broken down nearly beyond repair. His fingertips brushed down the side of Murphy's cheek. He was glassy-eyed and he wanted to kiss the boy, but he held back. "I didn't hurt anyone," he promised.

Murphy nodded and he didn't make any sudden movements. Instead he just closed his eyes again when Adam touched his cheek and he leaned his head down into it. Savoring it because he wasn't sure if he was ever going to get it back again after this. he felt like he was being given a chance to say goodbye. Or maybe that was what his rescue had been. A chance to say goodbye to his family. "I was worried about you. I miss you."

Hearing that made him exhale a breath and he leaned his forhead down against Murphy's in relief. "I'm a mess without you. I failed all of you." Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to push down a wave of nausea that welled up at the idea of failure. "I love you so much, Murphy. I bought tickets far away from here. When we get to your hometown, we can get a hotel, sleep some and then just go." He leaned in and kissed his cheek, working his mouth toward Murphy's ear. "Please come away with me. Please. We can help people together. We can start over."

"Promise it'll just be me and you?" Murphy asked, alraedy thinking about what it would be like for him to just take off with Adam. He loved Seth too much to ever really do it, he was certain, but right now it just seemed like the best idea he'd heard in a long time. "You won't fail me, just keep me. Don't put me in a cage and I'll never run away." he brought his hand up to let his fingers rest against Adam's cheek. "We can go away and just be me and you."

The notion of not keeping Murphy in a cage was terrifying. He pulled back and let his fingers tuck a lock of hair behind Murphy's ear. "But you're so safe there. You won't have to worry about anything." He wanted to protect him from ever getting hurt or hurting himself. But he didn't answer about it just being the two of them. "Seth is drinking again. He won't stop for you. You're not happy with him."

"I'll be safe if I stay with you, you don't have to keep me in the cage." he whispered, sort of afraid that Adam would just put him back where he belonged. "You can't go after the other boys again, can't I just be enough for you?" He let his fingers trail down his jaw and across his chin. "Please Adam. Just you and me okay? We'll start over somewhere new, we'll be like normal people.'

"Neither of us is normal," he said firmly. "Your talent is dangerous. You still don't understand that." He'd brought the syringe if he needed it, but he really didn't want to have to use it. "I won't go after them. I don't think I can help them, but there are others. You don't have to be jealous."

"No. I don't want to go with you if there are going to be others. I don't want to go if you're just going to put me in a cage.' He shook his head, leaning back so their foreheads weren't touching anymore. "I don't want you to lock me away, i want to be free and I want to be with you, why can't it just be us?"

"You said you missed me." His voice took on an edge. "But you'll run away if I don't keep you locked away. You'll go back to him and he doesn't deserve you." He was starting to get angry.

"I won't leave you. Not if you don't put me in a cage. I can't be in a cage again, I can't be with other boys." He was starting to get upset and it showed on his face as he shifted in his seat. It would be too hard to get out of the compartment from around Adam but he knew if Adam wasn't going to let him live how he wanted he would have to try.

"Promise me you'll never leave." His expression shifted away from anger, but it didn't lose its intensity. "Swear to me you won't leave me." Maybe if he'd made his mother promise that, she wouldn't have killed herself.

"I swear that if you don't lock me up I'll never leave you. I swear that if it's just me and you I'll stay by your side until the end of time." he was serious, completely serious, but he didn't think that adam could make him that promise.

"Why won't you help me with others?" He sighed and pulled back into his own seat. He stayed aware of the possibility that Murphy would run. "It's so selfish to say you can be the only one to be protected."

"I am selfish, I want you to just want me. I want you to just protect me and to keep just me. I want all of you." but he knew that it wouldn't happen. Adam would get jealous or angry and he'd lock him away again. Or he'd see someone he liked and he'd try to take them and then he wouldn't just be with Adam. "You can't promise me that though, can you? You already have someone else in mind probably. I 'm not going back in a cage."

"I came for you, didn't I? That means something." If he didn't have at least one of his artists, he wouldn't make it. "I won't put you in a cage. If I can save you, maybe it'll be enough. Maybe it'll make dad happy to know I saved someone so special."

He could say that now and it was comforting to Murphy in a way, but it didn't change the fact that he didn't think that Adam would keep his word. He leaned in, letting his lips brush softly across Adam's because he had missed the way it felt to do that. "You don't mean it though. You'll get angry with me and you'll lock me up, and you'll see another artist and you'll want them. You don't want just me."

Adam slipped his hand over Murphy's. "Don't say that." He said with a frown. "Please don't. You said you'd stay with me. Don't abandon me already. I can't take it. I don't know what I'll do. You said you missed me." He was starting to panic and instead of getting aggressive, he was breaking down piece by piece.

Adam breaking down was always his weakness. He caved and he lifted his hand to brush Adam's hair back. "I can't go back in a cage, it'll kill me." He whispered as he leaned their foreheads back together again. "You'll kill me if you do that, don't you understand?"

Adam grit his teeth together. "I just want to lie in bed with you." That was the thing he'd been thinking about the most. He missed the others too, but they were unreachable. It helped that Seth was too fucking drunk to be very vigilant, or even notice right away when Murphy was gone, or so he thought.

"Okay. We'll just lay in bed together." He wrapped his arm around Adam's shoulders and he kissed him again, just a soft brush of his mouth against the other man's before he closed his eyes. "We'll lie in bed together."

That calmed him down a little and he relaxed his muscles. "All right," he nodded and pulled aay from Murphy to relax for the rest of the ride.

Murphy sank back in his seat and he looked out the window again. He had no idea what he was going to do. He'd been so worried about Adam and so worried about the other boys, but he couldn't just go with him, could he? He thought about Vegas and his parents and Seth and how much it would hurt all of them. It wasn't fair to anyone. He leaned his head against the window and closed his eyes, thinking that once they were out of the train he could run. Once he knew he could get away maybe. Or maybe not, maybe he'd just go with him and forget about everyoen else.

Once they got to the train station, Adam was sure no fbi would be around. No one would have noticed Murphy was gone just yet and they wouldn't expect a train station, he figured. He kept ahold of Murphy's hand. "I'll die without you," he said firmly, just to reiterate. "I'll die, I swear."

If anything that kept him from trying to run. Instead he just nodded and he laced his fingers with Adam and he followed him through the crowded train station. "Where will we go?" he whispered, not sure where they could even find a hotel this time of night.

"It's not going to be fancy," he said gravely, as if it pained him to think that he couldn't give him something nice right now. "Say you love me. Please." He had to hear it. The thought of giving up on all the others was terrifying him. He was going to have nightmares tonight about his father's wrath.

"I love you." Murphy told him, falling easily into it as they made their way out of the station. "There is a motel near here I think." One that wouldn't be so bad. "We can go there and sleep until the train comes in the morning."

Adam trusted Murphy, even though his saner side was telling him to be cautious. He squeezed his hand just to remind himself that this was real. "Have you spoken to tje others? Do you think they're okay?" He was worried about them of course.

"I don't know, I haven't talked to any of them." Not directly, anyway. He knew that Reagan was okay from Liam but that was it. He didn't want to tell Adam as much, he didn't want him to think about them.

"Aren't you concerned about them? Don't you miss them at all?" It surprised him to sense that Murphy didn't want to think about the others. "Not even Parker? I saw how you reacted to him sometimes." It wasn't jusr Adam who lusted after other men.

"I dont want to talk about them." his voice was almost a whine. He missed them too much, he missed them more than Adam did, but he wasn't going to tell him that. "Just shut up about them, all right?" he was getting agitated.

Adam couldn't understand why Murphy was getting upset, but he pulled back on the topic anyway. Out in the open like this, he was more at Murphy's mercy. It as chilly out and he slipped his arm around the boy's neck to make sure he was warm. They walked to the nearest hotel, seeing the sign glowing in the darkness ahead of them. It was a cheap enough place that cash was almost expected. He wasn't too worried about concealing his identity, but he didn't want to leave much of a trail. The hotel manager didn't even look at them twice as he handed Adam the key.

Murphy said nothing, he didn't even so much as look at the man behind the counter. When they got to the room he put his bag on the floor and went to sit down on the end of the bed. He bit his bottom lip and adjusted his glasses before looking up and over at Adam. He was on the verge of freaking out.

Adam felt it, waves of anxiety coming off of the boy. "You have inhalers with you, right?" He asked with worry etched on his face. He wanted to make sure they didn't run into a problem later. He knelt down in front of him like he planned to beg for something, but instead, he just leaned his head against Murphy's knee and sighed with relief, trying not to start sobbing.

"Yeah, I have my inhalers." He chewed on his bottom lip and closed his eyes as his as Adam rested his head against him. "Let's lie down, all right? We can just get settled and it will be fine. We can just sleep and in the morning we can go."

"I'm scared you'll run as soon as I'm asleep," he said honestly. But he got to his feet and crawled up onto the bed. Holding his desire at bay, he kissed Murphy on the mouth, keeping it almost chaste.

Murphy laid back with him, not entirely certain he wouldn't do that. Instead of saying he would or wouldn't, instead of making promises, he just leaned into the kiss and let his arm slide around Adam's waist.

"I've been living in my car, hotels, trying to keep track of you where I can." He'd bought a car with his emergency fund and had recently sold it, covering his tracks as he went. It had been difficult, but this moment was worth it. One thing about Adam was that he was honest, open. The way he kissed Murphy showed exactly how much he cared about him.

"I've been thinking about you. I was scared about what was going to happen if you were alone for too long." Murphy brushed their noses together and he reached up to let his hand rest gently against the side of Adam's face. Part of him wondered what his life would have been like if he had met Adam on the street and they had been friends instead of this.

All of this was tender and almost too good to be true. He leaned up to kiss the boy's forehead. "We're going to Idaho. My father grew up there. He would like that we're going there."

Murphy nodded and he brushed his fingers down the side of Adam's neck, his hand coming to stop there just at the top of his shoulder. "All right." he wasn't going to argue about where they were going. He didn't care.

"Did you fuck Seth the first night back? Could he keep his hands off of you?" It turned a little sharply, Adam always acting on whim, reacting to the thoughts that raced through his brain.

"No, we didn't fuck the first night." Murphy had taken a shower and he'd passed out pretty quickly that first night. They hadn't fucked until Seth was drunk enough to make it happen and it had been a disaster.

"Has he fucked you at all?" He wanted to know details, hating that Seth had had the opportunity to get his hands on him again. Unappreciative lush.

"Yes." Murphy wasn't going to lie to him, not even if it was going to piss Adam off. He'd have to take the anger if it came but he refused to lie, not for any reason.

"Tell me about it. Tell me about how he fucked you, Murphy." He had the urge to torture himself and it was easy to tell that there were negative emotions broiling.

"He came home and we were talking and he started kissing me and undressing me. I just laid back and let it happen and I thought about things until I got hard and until it really started to feel good. And I almost came but I called him Adam so we stopped."

That actually surprised him and his expression changed. "What did you think about?" He asked curiously, hoping that it was him. He was tremendously satisfied by the notion that Murphy had called out his name.

"Parker." Again with the dangerous honesty. He hadn't been thinking about Adam when he called out his name. He'd called it on reflex, but he'd been thinking about Parker. "About what it was like when you'd put us together for you."

"And yet you don't want me to have anyone else." He kissed Murphy's jaw, pleased with the fact that Parker had been his inspiration. So long as it was within the world he'd created for him, Adam felt that it was okay. "What if I got Parker back for you?"

"You can't. Parker is home and he's happy. He didn't want to be there like I wanted to be there. He doesn't want me the way I want him or you the way you want him. He'd be miserable if you tried to get him back."

"He never fought except when it came to you," Adam pointed out. "He attacked me over you." That must have meant something. "Maybe I can find someone just like him and we can be a family together. You need people who really love you."

"I don't want there to be anyone else." He pulled away from Adam, turning onto his back. He was up and down just as fast as Adam was these days and he didn't try to cover it. "You just want everyone else."

"I just like watching you," he said quietly. "I just want to make sure you have enough love." And if that meant more people, he'd do that. He sighed. "We'll see how you feel later. We'll see if I'm enough to satisfy you. Me and memories of Parker." He kissed his neck, moving forward the instant Murphy pulled away from him.

Murphy turned over so that his back was to Adam and he curled up. They were never going to work. He could see that, he could stay settled long enough to realize that this was going to be it. But he could make it last, at least for a little while.

"Don't," he whimpered quietly, feeling him pull away. "Don't turn your back on me." He wanted to get angry, but he was too scared to frighten Murphy off. "Please."

He laid there for a second, his back to Adam, but he eventually turned over again, giving him what he wanted because he didn't feel like he had a choice. "This is never going to work you know."

"And neither is you and Seth. What has he done for you? I've done everything for you." He was working under the assumption that it was a competition. Murphy was a prize between them, and even though he loved that prize dearly, it was still an object. "It's all right. Everything will be perfect once we get to Idaho. I'll build you a house."

"Maybe not." He wasn't sure. "maybe it won't work for me and anyone. Maybe you took that away from me." He frowned and he tucked his head down. "I don't want a house."

He couldn't take it anymore and he grabbed Murphy's hair, clenching his fist against his scalp. "I know what's best for you. I'm not going to cottle you anymore. Stop being ungrateful. I didn't force that pathetic slob to drink again. He just doesn't love you enough and that's not my fault."

His eyes shut and he squeezed them tight as his hands came up to Adam's chest. "Stop it." he said through clenched teeth. "You're hurting me." Murphy tried to push him back, shoving at Adam while he pulled away, his hair pulling tighter in the man's hand.

"I'm hurting you because you hurt me first. You can't play with me." He spoke through a clenched jaw, mouth very close to Murphy's cheek. He held more tightly for a second before releasing him and standing up so he could pace a few times. "You don't want to be kept in a cage. Fine. You don't want others. Fine. But don't tell me it won't work. It'll work if you let it."

Once Adam let go of his hair he calmed down a little bit and he opened his eyes to watch him pacing back and forth. Murphy's heart was still racing a little bit and his eyes tracked Adam back and forth, back and forth. He was actually still sort of frightened and the feeling surprised him because he'd long since gotten over being scared of Adam.

Adam ran both of his hands through his hair as he muttered to himself. "I'm trying. I'm trying. They took you way. Dad, they took them away and I couldn't stop it. I'm sorry." He was on the verge of tears and a rageful scream as his feet beat against the ground. "They're going to die and it's my fault. I'll kill him, Murphy. I'll fucking kill him if you go back to him."

Murphy's heart seized in his chest and he knew that was the end of it. There was no way that he could allow Adam to take him, no way that he could let Adam go free. He'd never killed anyone before but now he was threatening it and there was no way that murphy could let it go that far. If he killed someone it would really just be over. "Lay down. Calm down. We should sleep because the train ride will be long."

Adam didn't listen to him and he went to his bag, tugging out a smaller bag. It had his syringes in it. His whole body was trembling. He couldn't survive in a world where he didn't have the control and Murphy had taken too much of the control. He opened the satchel and started to prepare the drug. "I'm doing it my way."

Murphy shot up in bed, his eyes wide with panic. He was up on his feet and bolting for the door the second he saw the syringes. If Adam started drugging him there was no telling when he'd be lucid again or where he'd wake up if he put him down.

Adam, having expected some balking, was ready. Darting to the door, he blocked Murphy's escape. He was stronger, but he was also busy dealing with the needles so he was distracted from the struggle.

Murphy ran directly into him and he knocked him back into the door. His hand flew up, trying to knock the needle out of Adam's grasp because if he couldn't get the drugs ready then he couldn't stick Murphy with that thing.

It worked and the needle went flying. Adam let out a growl and smacked his hand hard across Murphy's face, wanting to stun him so that he could scramble for his equipment. Everything was going wrong and he was panicking.

The open handed smack wasn't as effective as it would have been if he'd closed his fingers into a fist, but it still knocked Murphy down. He let out a grunt as he hit the ground and he turned over quickly to try to get back up.

He tried to calculate the time it would take him to grab the needle versus how long it would take Murphy to fumble with the two locks and the chain on the door. He decided to go for it, sprinting across the room to grab the syringe and bolting back as fast as he could.

Murphy threw the deadbolt and undid the handle lock. He tugged the door open but it caught on the chain and he let out a whine. Shoving the door shut his fingers scrambled for the chain lock and he pulled it free so he could open the door again

Adam crashed into the back of him, slamming him up against the door and forcing it to close. He slid the needle into his arm, depressing the plunger. It wasn't enough to cause him breathing distress, but enough to make it hard to move his limbs, confuse him.

Murphy hit the door and he sank down a little bit, his forehead coming to touch to the wood as the drugs immediately started making him sluggish and tired. He let out a soft whimper and then started to cry. He'd been so close.

"Shh, it's okay. I love you. I love you so much. This will just make it easier for you." As usual, he twisted his actions to martyr himself. "It'll be okay." He lifted him up quickly and put him on the bed. Some dark part of himself realized that Murphy would hate him and he put his head in his hands. He had to be strong enough for the both of them.

Murphy kept crying as he was laid down against the bed and he was trembling. His limbs felt like they were heavy and his brain was going fuzzy. All he wanted to do was get up and run or call his brother. "No, you can't do this to me."

"I can. You're mine. You'll always be mine, baby." He curled up next to him, trying to convince him with his body that they belonged together. "When you wake up, we'll be far far away from here."

Murphy's brow furrowed and he started to cry harder. "You're going to kill me." he whispered to him. "You're going to kill me, I can't stay here. You have to let me go." he was begging him.

"I would never let you die. Don't you understand that that's why I'm doing this? I will never let someone I love die again. My mother was enough for me. I won't go through that again."

Murphy was getting drowsy, he could hardly even keep his eyes open, but he tried. He had to stay conscious. "Adam, please... please don't do this to me." But it was too late. It was already done and he was fading out fast.

"Let go," he said warmly and smoothed his hand against Murphy's side. "Sleep and you'll be okay. It's beautiful there, I promise."

Murphy passed out after too long, his body going limp against the bed. His face was still wet with tears but he didn't look upset anymore, just peaceful.

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 07:20:50 GMT

Liam had done his best to let go of the Banks case. It comforted him to know that Chancellor was working on it and that he was doing all he could. It helped to have a new case, and he threw himself into it as usual. It was lunch now though, and Reagan had packed him a peanut butter and banana sandwich which was his favorite sandwich of all time. He'd long since learned to take a lunch break without obsessing over the case and he was in the conference room now, eating his sandwich and looking at the newspaper.

Since he had slept with Comfort, Chancellor hadn't been sleeping well. Between the hotel room and the case and knowing that there was still a chance that he wasn't going to be working for the FBI very much longer, he'd just been awake all night, obsessing over the case and over everything. For a while he'd worked at his desk, and he'd eaten lunch there, but he was having so much trouble keeping his eyes open that he got up to head to the conference room with plans to sleep on the sofa in there for a while. When he came in and saw Liam he stopped.

Liam took another bite of his sandwich, chewing it with deliberation. When he finally looked up and saw Chancellor, he didn't find it all that odd that the man was just standing there, but as he looked at him, something felt off. "Glad to see you still work here," he noted.

"Not for long, I'm sure." He went to the sofa, moving around the conference table to get there, and he laid down, his back to Liam. Chancellor was really too tall for the couch but he tucked his knees up a little bit so that he fit without having to hang his legs over the edge.

Since Chancellor wasn't looking at him, Liam could stare at him without feeling strange about it. He looked from head to toe, smiling a little at the fact that he was planning to sleep on the couch some more. "Does your hotel room not come with a bed? You know the offer still stands for you to stay at my place." He was almost sure Reagan wouldn't mind having a house guest.

"It does." Chancellor knew that he probably just needed to go back to the hotel and stay there until he could sleep but he didn't really feel up to it. The hotel still smelled like Comfort, even after the damn sheets had been changed, and all he could think about was that boy. "I don't think you'd like me staying with you."

The rustle of newspaper was heard as he turned the page. He wasn't really reading it now, but he wanted Chancellor to think he was still reading it, half-distracted. "Why wouldn't I? We have two spare bedrooms and one is clear at the other end of the house. I'd hardly have to deal with you at all." He knew that wasn't true; they always had the habit of running into each other even if there was an entire house in between them.

Chancellor said nothing, just stayed still on the couch. He had so much that he wanted to say, wanted to talk about. He'd talked to Mick briefly, she knew that he'd slept with Comfort. But he hadn't had the ability to tell her anything more and he didn't even know how to bring it up with Liam either. He was a complete mess right now but he was outwardly fine. Tired, but fine.

Liam was quiet for awhile, silenced by Chancellor's lack of response. But there was tension building in the room and he didn't know where it was coming from. "Did I ever tell you thank you for helping me find those kids?" And Reagan, him most of all, but he didn't want to mention that.

"You are welcome." Chancellor left it at that. He needed to go back to the hotel, he needed to just get the hell out of this place for a while, but he knew if he went there he'd never sleep. He'd just obsess. About Comfort and about his dead husband and god only knows what else.

"I haven't seen the Comfort kid," he said casually. He didn't afford him the respect of titles, especially not when he wasn't in the room. "Has he been harrassing you some more? Probably off digging up dirt on Meridian now." He had no clue the young investigator had gone back to the main office.

"Agent Comfort went back to Washington D.C." Chancellor said, though he knew that he was giong to have to elaborate now that he'd given that bit of information up. He didn't really want to get into it with Liam, he knew that they were likely going to fight.

Frowning, Liam actually set his paper down. "It's customary for the investigating party to let the lead agent know when the investigation is complete." He was annoyed that the kid hadn't even given him that. "Why did he go back to DC? Is it over?"

"It isn't, they are most likely going to assign another agent to the case once he's returned to the office. I'm sure his boss is already working on finding someone else to send here." He sighed softly and just closed his eyes, trying not to think too hard about what was going to happen next in their conversation and how he was going to take it.

Nowhere in Liam's mind existed the thought that perhaps Chancellor had slept with the agent and that's why he left. If he'd even considered that possibility, Liam certainly wouldn't have been laughing right then. "Really? So you did end up chasing him off." There was relief in Liam's voice, as if Chancellor had once again protected him from something terrible.

"Well that had been my original intention." Chancellor finally turned over onto his back and he turned his head to glance at Liam. He knew he wasn't going to like this next part. "He found out that I had all the case files so he came to the hotel to review everything and he saw pictures of Dory so he asked me to tell him about him and in return he'd tell me about something about himself. So I told him and then I asked him to tell me about the first time he fell in love or the first time he had had sex because I thought it would make him uncomfortable."

Just staring, Liam didn't say a word, the tension in his jaw growing so tight as Chancellor told the story that he wouldn't have been able to open his damn mouth even if he'd had something to say. Now the idea was there and he wasn't laughing anymore.

"He told me he'd never been with anyone before. Twenty-eight goddamn years old, blown up in afghanistan for his country, working for the FBI in a job that could really get him killed, even if he is IA. And he's never been with anyone. So I fucked him. I didn't even think about what that would mean for his job, which he's resigning from now, or for his life or anything." or what it would mean for Chancellor.

More staring. The silence grew and grew before Liam pushed his chair back from the table as if he was going to simply get up and leave. But no, that wouldn't be like him at all. "You fucked him because he was a year old veteran? You took his virginity off his hands just because? Just because it seemed like the patriotic thing to do? Are you fucking kidding me, Chancellor?"

Chancellor moved to sit up and he put his elbows on his knees and he leaned forward as he looked up at Liam. He knew he deserved an ass reaming but he also felt like he deserved to tell him all the reasons he did it. "No. I'm not kidding. I did it because he wanted it and so did I. Because I'm tired of being alone, and thinking about Dory all the time, and thinking about you and how if you hadn't picked alcohol over me I would have never had to meet him and I would have never had to lose him. And I was thinking about how fucking unfair it is that you have Reagan and that you're happy and yeah he was gone for a month and now he's a little bit broken, but you still have him. And after everything you put me through you have me and I have nothing." He got up. "So I fucked him because I was lonely and because I was sad and because I was so sick of missing you. And it just made me feel worse. Is that what you wanted to know, Liam? Is that a good enough answer as to why? "

Liam visibly winced, Chancellor's words making his stomach turn with guilt. There were too many things that Liam simply hadn't considered and there all of them were. It was so easy to be selfish with Chancellor, so ingrained into the way Liam operated and it wasn't fair to the other man. Very rarely did Liam not have the confidence to make eye contact and now was one of those times. He'd lowered his gaze, staring down at the table in front of him. "Yeah," he said quietly. "That's a good enough answer."

"I'm going home." He moved around the conference table but when he got to the door he turned around and came back. Unclipping his gun from the holster he had the clarity of thought to know it wasn't a good idea to go home with his gun when he was feeling like this. Chancellor took the clip out and laid each piece on the table in front of Liam before he turned to leave.

"You don't have to go," Liam said, alarmed by the fact that Chancellor had left his gun. It was good that the man had had the foresight to leave it, but the faint sense that he might use it was terrifying to Liam. "Don't leave. Don't go back and be alone. Just stay here in the conference room, Chancellor. I'm sorry. I can leave you alone and you can sleep, okay?"

"I'm tired, Liam. I'm tired of being in the hotel and I'm tired of being so exhausted all the time." and he was tired of being alone, and that was what he was going to be for the rest of his life, he was certain of it. "I'm just going to go sleep."

He looked at him hard, trying to discern Chancellor's real state and it was clear that he was telling the truth. "Okay," he said somewhat helplessly. He couldn't ask Chancellor to stay any longer. "Okay, I know you won't call if you need me, but I want you to."

Chancellor wanted to tell him not to worry about it, wanted to tell him goodbye and that he probably wouldn't get to see him again. But instead he just nodded and turned to leave the room. He took off his jacket as he walked out, loosened his tie. It was going to be a walk back to his hotel but he didn't mind.

Liam would call him later, go over to his hotel to check on him. He was still worried but he didn't think for one second that Chancellor thought they might not see each other again. He thought perhaps sleep would do the man good, if he could get it. Throwing away the rest of his sandwich, he headed back to work.
---------------------

The walk back to the hotel wasn't too bad. It was chilly out but Chancellor just let it soak into his bones. He figured it would be easier to fall asleep once he got back to the hotel if he was could and could wram up in bed.

Cooper could only imagine that Chancellor was at the BAU office, but he wasn't about to face the awkwardness of going to find him there. When he'd driven back to Quantico, it hadn't been as an investigator, it had been as someone recently unemployed. No part of him could justify going on at Internal Affairs after sleeping with Chancellor; he'd tried and failed. Now he was sitting and waiting outside of the man's hotel room door, knees hitched up, arms resting at his sides, head back and mouth open because he'd fallen asleep.

When Chancellor got back to the hotel and saw Cooper there he walked over to try and wake him up. He ran just the tip of his finger down the bridge of Comfort's nose. "Wake up, Cooper." Cooper because he knew that the boy liked to hear the sound of it. "You can't sleep out here."

"It's not impossible for me to sleep out here," he mumbled as he came to slowly. "But I suppose it's probably against building codes." He opened his eyes to see Chancellor standing over him and he wanted to reach up and drag him down. He'd tried very hard to be logical about this and realize that Chancellor probably hadn't slept with him for any more reason than he was horny at the time. But he'd had a hard time not thinking about him constantly and he just wanted to see him again. He got to his feet and concerned himself with pressing the crinkles out of his clothes from sitting there. "Can I come in?"

"Yes." Chancellor got his key out and let them into the room, holding the door open for Comfort to step inside. He had cleaned up all the case files the night before, though they were still sitting on the desk because he was still working on the case. "How did things go in Washington DC?"

As soon as they were inside, Comfort stepped closer to Chancellor, putting a hand on his back. "I know we didn't leave it on very good terms but I just--" his hand moved up to hook around Chancellor's shoulder and he moved to press his lips against the back of the man's neck. "I don't care if it doesn't mean more than what it is right now, I just want to feel you again." He purposefully did not even touch the question about DC.

Chancellor closed his eyes and he let his head dip down as Comfort pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. He wasn't sure he could get into it, even if he tried to. "Let's just lay down. I need to sleep." They could sleep for a while and maybe he'd be more in the mood after he'd relaxed for a while.

Cooper wasn't sure how to take that. "If you don't want to--I'll understand." He pulled back, wondering if this was just a nice way to reject him, but when he looked at Chancellor, really looked at him, he could see how tired he was. Still, he felt kind of stupid for driving all the way back there.

Chancellor turned to him and he put his hand on Cooper's hip to pull him a little closer. "Just lay down with me." Because if he left now Chancellor didn't know what he was going to do.

He felt his body go pliant. The idea of laying down next to Chancellor was a lot different than fucking him. Worrying his bottom lip with his teeth, Cooper nodded a little. "All right. I can do that."

"You don't have to." He wasn't going to force him to do anything that he didn't want to do. Letting go of Comfort's hip, he stripped out of his jacket and toed off his tennis shoes before crawling into the bed. He hadn't even taken his tie all the way off, it was just loosely knotted around his neck.

"I would like to," he said honestly but his voice was still full of trepidation. He took his own shoes off, the ones Chancellor had had him buy. He was dressed as casually as it got for him, slacks and a button-down. Even though he knew his pants would get unforgiveably wrinkled, he didn't take any clothes off. Instead, he went to the bed and gently started to unfasten Chancellor's tie. He slid it from around his neck and then went to hang it neatly over a chair. "Have you been sleeping?"

"No." Chancellor couldn't sleep, he hadn't been sleeping becuase of thinking about Comfort and about Liam and just a whole variety of things. "I just can't even think straight." he said softly. "Everything is hazy and it's just like walking around with gauze over my eyes.'

"I'm not on the case anymore, so if you want to talk about whatever it is that's bothering you, please feel free." He unbuttoned a few of the buttons on his shirt and then laid down next to Chancellor, tentatively putting his hand on the man's stomach and scooting close to him.

"No, I don't want to talk about it." It had been hard enough telling Liam why he was so depressed but he didn't want to talk to Cooper about it either. ""I just need to think about this for a little while." And figure out what the hell he was doing with Cooper and what it meant that the kid was back.

So there they were, neither of them talking about it and Cooper thought he could handle that for now. "You're sure you want me to stay for a little while?" The man felt very good next to him. This was what he'd been thinking about since the moment he'd stormed out the door. He put his cheek on Chancellor's shoulder and the movement betrayed just how much he wanted to be there.

"Yes." Chancellor could tell that he wanted it, that he wanted to be there just as badly as Chancellor wanted him. Sliding one arm around him, he pulled him in closer so that their bodies were flush and then he closed his eyes.

For a little while, Comfort stayed awake, just trying to keep his body from shivering. He wasn't cold, he was just nervous. But eventually it subsided and he relaxed against the other man.

After a while he finally drifted off to sleep, his body so exhausted that he didn't have any other choice but to give in. He kept his arm around Cooper, his hand pressed against his back. But the sleep didn't stay peaceful, it started to get a little restless and he murmured to himself.

The murmuring woke him from his very light sleep, but he didn't try to wake Chancellor up just yet. He watched him curiously, trying to decipher if he was having a nightmare or not and if he should wake him.

Chancellor was shivering and he tucked his head down, his eyes closing a little bit tighter. "Don't." he muttered, the word clearer than the rest of them. "you drink too much." he was dreaming about Liam, about their life together before the alcohol.

Cooper wasn't sure what that meant specifically, but his heart went out to him and he kissed the top of his forehead gently. "It's all right," he muttered against his skin, trying to soothe him without actually waking him up.

From the kiss on the forehead he went quiet for a little while, his body settling as Cooper murmured against his skin. He liked that, that he was comforting him, even if he wasn't fully aware of what was happening. He murmured Liam's name but it was so quiet and so mumbled that it wasn't really something that could be made out.

Shifting closer to him, he sighed. "I'm pretty sure you can't hear me right now, but I can't believe you were right. It's infuriating that I feel this way about you. It's probably nothing, but it doesn't feel like nothing."

Chancellor shifted slightly and he wrapped his arm a little tighter around Comfort. Of course he didn't really raelize what he was doing because he was still mostly asleep. "stop drinking." he whispered to him.

"Who's drinking?" he asked softly. He liked the fact that Chancellor was squeezing him more tightly, but he got the distinct feeling that the man thought he was someone else right now.

"You are." he murmured. chancellor was holding him almost painfully tight at this point, as if he wanted to hurt him to make him realize the error of his ways. "stop it. you're ruining this. you are ruining everything."

"Agent Connelly," he said when the squeeze turned from nice to hurt. "Stop, I'm not drinking." He got lost in the moment, briefly taking on the role of this person in Chancellor's dream. He felt the urge to deny such accusations.

"yes you are." he loosened his grasp just a little bit, as if he was already prepared just to lose this battle. "all the time." he moved his hand away from his back and he started to turn over.

Cooper put a hand on his shoulder, preventing him from turning away. He didn't want Chancellor to turn his back on him--not like this anyway. "I won't drink if you don't want me to." He was talking more to himself now rather than to Chancellor. "If that's what you need."

"let me go, why can't you let me go?" he asked with a soft sigh and he tilted his head down so that his forehead was touching to cooper's. he settled down after that, drifting back off to sleep fairly easily.

This didn't seem like a dream about his husband, and so Cooper assumed that it was about Liam. While he'd known that the two had been a suspected item, he hadn't been aware that it had been so intense, or that Liam had had a drinking problem. Somehow, it had been kept clear of the bureau's records. When Chancellor settled, Cooper settled too.

Chancellor was still and quiet for about an hour before he woke. His eyes just opened slowly and his breathing evened out a little bit as he blinked and then turned onto his back to rub his eyes. He'd still been dreaming about Liam, something just as heated as before, but it hadn't come through the way the other had.

"You're awake," Cooper pointed out from his spot on the bed. He was sitting indian style at the foot of it, reading a magazine he'd found lying about. He'd woken up just a little while ago and had decided to leave Chancellor to his sleeping.

Chancellor rubbed his eyes and he looked down at the end of the bed at Comfort. "I'm awake." He hadn't gotten very much sleep and he was still exhausted, but he knew he didn't need to bother with trying again. He wasn't going to be able to fall back asleep.

"Have you ever considered taking sleeping pills?" The man obviously needed more rest. He'd also heard that sleeping pills made it more difficult to dream, which in Chancellor's case, he guessed would be a good thing.

"No, I haven't." He rubbed at his face a little more and just laid his head flat on the bed after he tugged the pillow out from under him. Chancellor tossed it onto the floor and he glanced back over at Comfort again. "There is a shrink at the bureau, I could probably get some from him."

"Maybe," Cooper said with a nod and glanced back down at the magazine. It wasn't all that compelling, but he needed something to look at other than Chancellor lying there. "Did Agent Montgomery drink? Is that why you're not together anymore?"

Okay. Now he was pretty sure that he must have been talking in his sleep or dreaming. "What did I say when I was asleep?" It had to have been something, he wasn't sure what though and he was kind of worried that it was really bad.

"You begged me to stop drinking and then you just gave up. I guess you could have meant your husband, but it just didn't seem like that. Liam is the only other person I knew that you've dated. I guess it could have been a parent or a friend. I shouldn't have assumed." He sat up a little straighter, feeling like he should defend himself, or at the very least explain himself.

Laying his head back down on the bed he closed his eyes and he stayed quiet. The last thing he wanted was to get into a long conversation about what had happened with Liam. Not when he was feeling so down today. "My relationship with Agent Montgomery was complicated and none of your business.'

"I don't think any of your life is my business really, but that won't stop me from asking." His voice had taken on a sharpness and he got up to put the magazine back in the exact place that he'd found it.

"Are you angry with me now?" He ran his hands over his face again as if he tried to make the whole situation go away with this action. As if he thought for once second that that would actually work. Honestly, he was pretty sure it was just going to get worse.

"I'm trying not to be anything with you right now," Comfort said honestly with a shrug. Not angry, not sad, not infatuated. He set the magazine down on the floor and then straightened up. Glancing at the case files, he felt the urge to look through them, but they were off limits now that he'd resigned.

"All right." Chancellor got up from the bed and he went for the bathroom. He disappeared behind the door long enough to wash his face and then he came out and put his shoes back on and he looked around for his tie and grabbed it off the back of the chair.

Cooper sat on the bed and watched him. "You're going back to work, I suspect," he said a bit stiffly. This hadn't gone how he'd expected and he wasn't sure if he was glad he'd come or not.

"No, I'm going out for a drink." Chancellor put his tie on and he tied it into place. "And then I'm going to go for a walk. Maybe not necessarily in that order." Especially not if he got so shit faced he couldnt' walk.

"You're going out for a drink when only an hour ago you were asking some mystery person to stop? Well that sounds like a great plan." Cooper sighed, running his finger through his hair with slight frustration before realizing that he'd messed up his hair and had to fix it again.

"Yep. That's exactly right. Because right now it's go out and get drunk or think of new and creative ways to fucking kill myself because I can't sleep and I can't be awake and I gave my fucking service pistol to Liam, so I'm going to go out and get drunk and hopefully I'll pass out and sleep the rest of the night and i don't care where, hopefully in some alley behind some dank bar in a pile of trash, because right now that seems like a better place to sleep than anywhere else in this town."

Cooper nodded and went to get his bag, digging around for the keys to his car. He felt like maybe he should go with him, but he didn't think he could stand much more of this.

Cooper being angry with him was just sort of the last straw. He'd been relieved to see the boy at his door but waking up like that and now this, he just didn't even know how to handle it. Part of him thought he should just go home. Back to his model cars and his loneliness.

Laughing a bit bitterly, Cooper shook his head. "You couldn't have just fucked me one more time, could you. It would have been so much easier." Another fuck and then it could have been over and Cooper could have gone off to work at Walmart or something. He slung his bag over his shoulder. "Well--are we going or not?"

"Is that what you want?" He asked him, turning to face him. "do you want me to fuck you and then that's it? Because if that's what you want then take off your pants. I'll fuck you right now and then you can go back on your merry little way. you don't have to go with me to get drunk, you don't have to hold my hand."

"Well, to be honest I thought you'd already fucked me and then that's it. The only reason we're talking now is because I had to come back for more." Not because of any desire to make contact on Chancellor's part. Deep down, Cooper knew that wasn't fair, the man was obviously going through some shit, but he was feeling a little selfish at the moment.

"Well then if that's what you want then I'll fuck you and I'll go get drunk. Or if you want a sloppy fuck you can wait until I get back. But I don't need you to hold my hand while I go and get drunk, kid. I'm an adult.'

Cooper threw his keys at him as hard as he could. It was the most childish outburst he'd ever had and he just felt stupid when the keys hit Chancellor in the chest and dropped away from him lamely. "Why don't you just tell me that I shouldn't have come?"

Chancellor looked down at the keys on the ground. "No. I'm not going to say that. Because when I saw you sitting on my doorstep it was the first good thing that has happened to me since I got here. And then I woke up and I was right back to where I was. So if you just came here for a fuck then I'll give you what you want and you can leave. Otherwise i don't know what to tell you."

He grit his teeth, jaw clenching. Stalking closer to the man, he bent down to pick his keys up and shoved them in his pocket. When he stood up, he was closer to Chancellor than he'd thought and he reached up to grab his tie. Tugging him down a little, he moved forward as if he was going to kiss him, but angled it to the corner of his mouth, something almost chaste. "I don't know what to tell you either."

Part of him wanted to shove Cooper back into the room and he wanted to fuck his brains out for one last hoorah. The other part of him wanted to just break down and cry. Instead he just leaned his head down, letting his forehead touch against Comfort's. "I'm sorry. I'm a mess, I'm a complete mess."

The gesture utterly broke his heart and his body leaned against Chancellor's. "Let me go with you. I'm not going to babysit you--I can't even imagine how one might try to do that."

"I don't want you to see me like that." Because he wanted to get too trashed to function and he didn't want Cooper watching while he did that, and he didn't want Cooper there for the things he might say.

Two steps forward, three back. "Then I'll leave you to it." He let go of Chancellor's tie, smoothing it down with his hand because god forbid he leave it crinkled. He just kept touching it, trying to press out any damage he'd done by holding onto it and then it was obvious he just didn't want to stop touching the other.

Chancellor just stood there, letting him touch him because it was clear that needed to be touching him. He leaned against the door jam, not touching Cooper but he wasn't pulling away from him.

He reached up to kiss him again, this time on the mouth, but even briefer than the last. "Okay, I'm going now." He didn't want to, but there was clearly nothing for him there right now or maybe ever. Heading down the hall, he disappeared down the stairs.
----------------

Chancellor never drank. Not since before Liam. And so it didn't take much for him to get wasted beyond belief. Shot after shot until he couldn't feel anything and couldn't even remember where he was. He stumbled out of the bar, looking around as he headed towards the hotel. By the time he got there he couldn't find his key so he just slid down and sat against the door in the hallway. He got his cell phone out to text Mick to ask if she could come and get him, but then he found Liam's number instead and he called him, planning to really let him have it.

Liam was picking up a late dinner, sitting in a drive thru line. When his phone rang and it was Chancellor, he thought maybe there had been a break in the case. Then he thought maybe the man was calling because he'd asked him to call if he needed help. That alarmed him and he picked up the phone. "What's going on?"

"Do you think that I did something to deserve this?" Chancellor asked, his voice slurring as he leaned his head back against the door. "Do you think that I did something at some point and this is why everything goes this way?"

The slur made Liam's blood run a few degrees colder. He knew the sound of that so fucking well even though it had been nearly a decade since he'd had a drink. He remembered the way his own voice sounded when he got to that blissful place of trashed. "Of course you didn't," Liam said softly.

Chancellor took a deep breath and he put his hand against his face as he sat there. "Comfort was here when I got back. He just wanted me to fuck him and he left. I should have just fucked him. But I didn't. Instead I was talking about you, fucking always talking about you."

"Nobody ever just wants you to fuck them, Chancellor. You know you get under people's skin." Liam said it with a touch of bitterness that he couldn't keep out of his voice. Not that he wanted Chancellor to be alone, but he sort of wanted to pretend that the man didn't have sex anymore. "What do you want from him?"

"I don't know." Chancellor didn't know what he wanted anymore. He didn't know what he wanted in his life. "I want Dory back." that was what he wanted. "I want you not to have been an alcoholic. That's what I want." He wanted the life he was supposed to have, not this one. Not the one he was stuck with. He knew in the morning he was going to regret this. Regret admitting anything at all.

"What do you want me to fucking say, Chancellor? I'm sorry. I can't say I'm sorry enough. And if Dory were alive I'm pretty sure he'd be apologizing for dying." In reality, dying was just about as controllable as being an alcoholic sometimes. He jumped when someone honked at him. The car in front of him had long since driven off and he was holding up the line. Scooting forward, he went back to the call. "Where are you?"

"I'm selfish." Chancellor said finally after a long moment and he put his head down against his hand. "I'm sorry." Calling was a mistake, feeling this way... it was just selfish. So he hung up the phone and tucked it back into his pocket and he sat there.

Liam just about threw the phone out the window with frustration. He hurried up and got his food and then drove to the hotel, hoping that Chancellor was there. It was just as likely a place as any and mayb the man had drug himself there.

Chancellor just stayed sitting against the door. He figured when he sobered up he would just head down to the front desk and get himself another key made and then sleep off what was left of what he assumed was going to be a horrific hangover in the room. If he could sleep. His knees were bent, arms resting on them, though he had one elbow bent up so he could lean his head against his hand.

With a flash of his badge, Liam had managed to get a key to Chancellor's room. If the man was there, he was pretty sure that he wouldn't let Liam inside, whether it be out of stubbornness or the fact that he was unconscious. But when he got upstairs and found the man leaning against the door, he was almost relieved. "Stand up," he said as he leaned forward and hooked his arms underneath Chancellor's arms to help hoist him temporarily to his feet.

Chancellor let out a grunt as he was hoisted up to his feet and the whole hallway was set spinning. He leaned back against the door, his head leaning back against it and he let his eyes close. "fuck." he muttered. "It's spinning. Everything is spinning."

"Lucky for me, I haven't eaten yet, so if you need to chuck, chuck." God knew Liam had puked enough times on Chancellor, and turnabout was fair play. He unlocked the door and helped the man inside, letting him use him as a crutch. Apt, Liam thought. When he got him inside, he let him flop down on the bed.

Chancellor dropped onto the bed and he turned over onto his side, pulling his knees up against him. He didn't bother taking his shoes off or trying to undo the tie. Right now he just wanted the room to go still again. "Go home, Liam. Leave me alone now."

Not listening to him, he set to work taking care of him. He went to the bathroom and got a cup of water. Sitting it on the bedside stand, he set to work getting Chancellor's shoes off. "Best hangover prevention is water. You're going to drink that as soon as I get you into your pajamas."

"Don't." Chancellor tried to pull his legs away from Liam, not wanting this. "Just get away from me. I don't want you anywhere near me. Your husband is waiting for you."

"Shut up, Chancellor." He said firmly and grabbed his leg more tightly, taking his shoes off. He'd called Reagan on the way home to let him know he'd be later than he'd expected. He'd been honest with him and told him it was Chancellor. Next, he leaned up to unfasten the man's tie because it would just be more comfortable.

Chancellor just tried to shove him off. The last thing he wanted was for Liam to be taking care of him while he was like this. "Seriously. Get off of me." He shoved at Liam's hands, trying to turn away from him as best he could.

"You're acting like a child. Stop. You did this for me a hundred times and there's no reason that I can't do it for you once. Will you just let someone help you?" He yanked at the man's tie, finally loosening it enough to get it off from around his neck.

"I did it for you because I was in love with you." The yank on the tie hurt his neck and he turned over away from Liam. "You don't owe me anything. I just want you to leave."

Unlike Cooper, Liam wasn't going to be easily deterred. "Yes, well, fight with me the entire way then." But he'd be damned if he was going to leave with Chancellor splayed out uncomfortably like this. "Scoot up," he ordered, hoisting the man higher on the bed so that he could sit up just a little, enough to drink the water.

Chancellor did not like being manhandled and he flailed as Liam tried to give him the water, knocking the plastic cup out of his hand and onto the floor. "I'm going to be sick." he scrambled out of the bed and for the bathroom.

With some dexterity, Liam avoided being knocked onto the floor by Chancellor's sudden scramble for the toilet. Instead, he turned and was wheeled down upon the bed. He supposed that getting some of the alcohol out of his system was going to be a good thing in the long run. While Chancellor was in there, Liam left to get a bucket of ice from the machine and a few bottles of water from vending. He took the key with him to be sure he could get back in.

Chancellor made it to the toilet before throwing up, which was a small miracle, because once he started he couldn't stop. He'd had far too much and his body just hadn't been equiped to handle it. The worst part was knowing that in the morning he was going to feel even worse.

Returning with some ice, Liam dipped dipped a towel in the cool depth before drawing it out and going inside the bathroom. "Feelin any better? Here's a cold washcloth." He haned it to the man to wipe his brow and mouth.

Chancellor took the cloth and he wiped his mouth off with it before laying his head back down against his arm. He closed his eyes and just tried to stay as calm as hecould because he knew the violent illness would probably be back if he moved. "No."

"You just wanted to forget everything for a night. For you, I'd say that's about shots. What'd you end up having?" He leaned casually against the counter, not looking directly at Chancellor, but keeping an eye on him.

"Ten." Chancellor muttered, his head still down. "And something called a something bomb." But he didn't know what kind of bomb it was, he just knew it had been bought for him by a girl at the end of the bar and he'd thanked her by drinking it in one go. That he was regretting now.

An impressive run. "Well, get as much out as you can and then replace it with water. I left a couple aspirin on the nightstand for you to take in the morning."

Chancellor heaved again, throwing up twice more before his stomach settled enough for him to sink back again, his butt on his heels. "I used to rub the back of your neck when you were getting sick? Do you remember? I did the same for Dory when he was going through chemo. It was the worst on nights when I had to work all day. I'd get home and he'd be fine and we'd go to bed and an hour later we'd be up, like this, all night. It's why I quit." He wiped his mouth again and then closed his eyes. "I just thought I'd come back when he got better."

Liam knew that even when Dory had been terminal, Chancellor had probably thought he would get better. He tried not to think back on it too much. "I remember surprisingly well for a drunk." Each time something came up, Liam looked away, feeling his own stomach churn with it.

"I just miss him so much." Chancellor had hoped until the last second that things would turn around. And when Dory had passed away he'd just sat there, holding his hand for as long as the nurses would let him. He'd spent so much time at the hospital in the last month that he hadn't even known what to do or where to go. He sat in the lobby for hours until one of the nurses called Liam to come and get him.

"I know," he said quietly and fought the urge to get down and rub Chancellor's back. Touching him was probably not what the man wanted right now, even if it was a comforting gesture.

He didn't cry. He'd cried so hard and for so long over Dory and over Liam and there was nothing left. Part of him thought that maybe he was going crazy becasue he couldn't make it happen. When he felt like he wasn't going to throw up anymore he wiped his mouth and got up to go to the sink. It was a slow process and he was shaky on his feet.

Liam did his best not to touch him, fearing that would set him off and this calm had been a direct result of just giving him a little space. But he watched him carefully in case he stumbled. When the man seemed stable, or at least propped well, Liam left to grab a water bottle but was back quickly.

Chancellor brushed his teeth. He was and always had been a terror when it came to dental care. He brushed his teeth and used mouth wash and then pushed away from the counter so that he could shuffle back to the bed. He wanted to lay down and forget about this night and all the nights before it, at least for a little while.

Liam was sitting on the bed when Chancellor came out of the bathroom. When the man laid down, he handed him the bottle of water and held onto his hand so he would keep hold of it. "Drink some, all right?"

Chancellor took the water but he didn't take the cap off or take a drink. Instead he just curled his knees up once he was laid out and he closed his eyes, completely settled. "I'll be fine."

Liam sighed. "You'll be hungover and feel like shit tomorrow. And you'll be a complete bear." Not like Liam hadn't had some of those days. Usually, he handled hangovers pretty well, given the fact that he'd been perpetually drunk. But when they hit, they'd hit hard.

"I don't care. Maybe I just won't come into work tomorrow." he'd been working literally everyday without a day off since he'd started the case over a month ago. Of course they both knew he was going to be there.

"If you wanted to take a couple days off, you know you could." He put his hand on Chancellor's shoulder briefly before running it down his arm. "Might help you to sort things out. Go fuck that kid again if that's what you want since he seems to want another go. We're not going to find Adam." He'd all but given up and the longer Reagan was back and safe, the less Liam obsessed over it.

The touch against his arm made his eyes close and he sighed softly, his heart aching as Liam touched him. "My heart hurts." he whispered to him. It was such a simple statement, he couldn't even keep it from coming out of his mouth.

Liam let his hand slip down so that he could lace his fingers with Chancellor's. He'd hoped that for the evening they'd moved past angry outbursts and the man wouldn't pull away from him. "I really wish I could make you happy somehow."

Chancellor held his hand, he didn't pull away. Instead he just closed his eyes and tried to remember what it was like before everything had turned into such a mess. "I don't think it's possible anymore."

"Don't say that. Dory would be crushed to hear you say that." Liam was crushed to hear it, but he didn't mention that part. His thumb moved comfortingly back and forth against the backside of Chancellor's hand. After a second or two of thought, Liam mustered up the courage to offer Chancellor some freedom. "If it hurts you to stay, you don't have to do it just because I asked."

"You want me there." He was going to stay, even if Liam offered to let him leave. Because he knew that if he didn't stay then he would really have nothing to live for and he'd probably end up dying sad and alone.

"I want you to be happy. Or at least not miserable. Being around me makes you miserable--I think it always has, just for awhile there it was worth the misery. But it's not anymore." He hated the idea that every seconds Chancellor was at the BAU, he was sad or angry about something.

"If I leave then I will go home and I will sit by the side of the pool or I'll sit in the house in my study, and I'll think about Dory, and I'll think about you, and I'll think about how useless it is to even still be around. And I would rather not do that."

Liam nodded. That was fair enough. Gently, he released Chancellor's hand and stood up. "I'm going to leave you to get some sleep." It wasn't going to be restful sleep due to the alcohol, but at least it meant Chancellor was going to be unconscious for awhile and wouldn't have to think.

Chancellor nodded but said nothign. He just let Liam's hand go and he stayed still, holding onto the bottle of water. Next time he'd remember that this was a terrible idea. Getting drunk solved nothing.

With one last look over his shoulder, he left the hotel room, making sure to leave the keycard on the table where Chancellor could find it since he'd lost his own.

seth, vegas

magsandahalf@gmail.com — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 06:46:00 GMT

It was a busy day at the record store, and Vegas was ready to go home. He had good news for Murphy. His boss said that Murphy could have a job at the record store whenever he was ready, no rush. It was ideal since Murphy could get back into the swing of things with Vegas at his side, and not have to go it alone. After finishing up his shift and clocking out, he called Murphy's track phone and left a message when his brother didn't pick up. He had a weird feeling, but he was doing his best to shake it off and not freak out about it. The last thing Murphy needed was for him to freak out and make a big deal when nothing was wrong.

Vegas headed for his car with his hands hidden away inside the pockets of his jacket, and his chin was tucked down low so that his mouth and nose were covered by his red and black checkered scarf. When he heard his cell go off, he assumed it was Murphy calling back, and he put it to his ear as he unlocked the door to his car.

"'Lo? Murph?" he asked as he slipped inside the car and pulled the door shut.