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mood |
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 thoughtful |
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music |
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I'm Still A Guy by Brad Paisley. |
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So, theres this boy who I've been crushing on all year. I walked in English class on the first day of school, without him even saying anything to me I immediately thought he was attractive, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I have never had someone have that sort of affect on me. Yeah sure, after I get to know them, or silly celebrity crushes, or someone is just plain hot but nothing else is there. This was completely new. And now, eight months later, I finally realized what it was about him... He's a man. A real, honest, man of God. A perfect example to me of a man in the process of falling in love with the Lord and having that wild adventurous heart that most men tuck away because they're being feminised, or they're scared of stepping up and being a man, or they hide it behind work, drugs, booze, whatever they need to do to fight down the fear of discovering what they're truely made of. I mean I always knew he was a guy, but I never knew he was a man. I've never ever liked someone like him before so I didn't understand it, but thats the big thing right there. The biggest picture I missed. He's a real man. It's amazing to me. And thats why on the first day of school, when my spirit, body, and mind sensed a man the woman in me came to life.
It's mindboggling to me now that I couldn't put my finger on it before, but I understand why I didn't. All the guys I've ever known have been gay, somewhat flamboyant, never sober, always complaining and seeking affirmation girls, little boys, feminised or just afraid and not in ways they realized. It's so beautiful to see a man whose sure of himself and his masculinity because its been confirmed by God and not on anything thats of this Earth. I wanted to run up and hug him when I figured that out. Because it takes a lot of strength, courage, and drive to seek his heart that makes him a man. I'm so proud of him and I'm glad I finally figured it out. I'm utterly captivated.
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