biggestflirt

August 18, 2011 4pm

2012-03-18T02:56:19Z

I bring to you another installment of

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK

This week?

CHRIS LANDRY

Yes ladies and gentlemen. Me. I have been a jerk being mean to people. To the people I ripped on: Spence and Josh I'm really sorry. That wasn't cool. But I'm most sorry to Melia. The things I said weren't nice at all. It was WAY out of line for me to call you frigid and to bring up Gray like that. I'm sorry.

So I offer you my most embarrassing moment from when I lived in LA. The ladies might want to take notice though. Just saying.

TA DA! Yeah...

So yeah, Chris Landry. Picks on people. Is a jealous retard. Stupid jerk.

I'm sorry again for anyone I hurt or upset with what I said. If it makes people feel better, I was taught a lesson about what I did by SOMEONE and I didn't expect THAT at all. ~~SOMEONE apparently has a lot of anger and didn't care about being made fun of so much as his "friend" getting called names and such.~~ It's not cool to pick on people, especially girls going through a hard time. So sorry again.

BACKDATED: July 22nd 6pm

2012-03-06T12:07:11Z

[Private]

Mother fucker

It's taken me like 3 hours to write this.

You know I forgot that slutty little cheerleader was HIS little sister. So when I was at the small pool after I made the post, I didn't think about it when I walked behind the pool house to go to my car. She was the only one I knew there, so I was like whatever I'll head home, it was about 3, and I saw that fucking little curly haired jerk. I was like whatever Loser Josh, come to defend your little girlfriend?

That boy...

Shit. I had no idea. Intense. Let's just say I won't be going anywhere for a few days. He got in my face and threatened me so I pushed him and he was like you did NOT just touch me! And I don't remember exactly what happened, but I was against the wall and then I was on the ground, and Jesus I've never felt hurt like this before. It hurts to breathe and to move and just... Shit! I'm not going to forget the image of him standing over me breathing hard like that and telling me fuck with him all he wants but leave other people out of it. And if I ever threaten anyone again I'm going to need a lot more than my daddy's gun.

Then the fucker took a picture of me on the ground like that! With my shirt off all broken and bloody and bruised. WTF! Said if I don't stop he'll make sure everyone knows that it was him that kicked the shit out of me, the little quiet virgin who beat the shit out of the basketball star.

Fucker. Guess I'm going to tell everyone I'm going on the road with my dad for a couple weeks so I have an excuse to just sit here. I can't believe he had it in him. It's always the quiet ones right? Someone needs to put a pressure valve on him before he shows up at school with an Uzzi. People are wrong about him, though, that's for sure. I kinda respect the little bastard, if I wasn't lying here pretty sure at least three of my ribs are broken.

And the worst part?

He didn't even TOUCH my face. He was like I want you to remember this and walk around like you're not hurting so no one knows what happened to you.

Shit.

[/Private]

So, I'm sitting at home, just chilling, kinda grounded I guess until Dari's party. This has been an eventful day. After Dari's party I'm probably going to go around with my dad until school starts. See you bitches later.

July 22 2011, noon

2012-02-22T22:07:25Z

In honor of someone's birthday, I thought I'd bring it back with a vengeance today.

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK

LOSER Josh AKA Joshua Roberts

HI! My name is LOSER Josh and I'm the biggest fuck faced fucker there ever was.

I thought that I could get a girl, but I'm such a tiny HOBBIT prude I wouldn't know what to do with my pecker if it could walk and talk and give me directions.

It's so fucking small that I have to pee in order to figure out which hair is my penis.

Stupid assed mother fucker, probably cries while he watches fucking girl movies and has mommy issues, too. Shouldn't he be a senior this year? Add idiot to his list of faults.

Dear Loser Josh,
I should kick your tool ass just for existing. Why don't you take those lips and that gravity defying hair and go suck a cock like you know you were made to do?

Get a life and DIAF,
Chris

July 9, 2011 12 pm

2012-02-09T15:44:35Z

Today I bring you a new series started by the one and only CHRIS LANDRY!

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK

This week I bring you...

SPENCER LEWIS

HI! My name is Spence and I talk too much. I ramble on about bullshit that no one cares about. I like wring my hands and get all nervous for no reason. There's something dangling between my legs, but I don't know what it is or what to do with it. I even sit down to pee.

Dear Spence,
Grow a pair.
Love,
Chris

Monday June 23rd, noon

2012-01-23T19:14:22Z

Dear ladies,

I'm just sitting here, all alone, and thinking someone should entertain me. Best message gets a surprise.