HOLYSHIIIIIIT!

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 03:31:44 GMT

Weather sucks. Okay, so at least it's not hellish blizzards that trap poor farm folk in their barns, but I still live in California. Why the hell is the weather pissing down on us like crazy?! I am way too cheap for umbrellas.

Rescue me.

Is it wrong not to always be glad?

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 05:17:49 GMT

out of character.
hello my name... is Ana.
you can contact me at... ahoneymooninred.

in character.
hello my name is... Avery von Schönberg.
my major is... composition / cello performance.
my age/year is... 22 / senior.
i come from... Los Angeles! But not where it's all glamorous and pretty, obviously, like on Rodeo Drive or something. We still live in the same building in Koreatown and there's this smell on our street, I swear to God, like kimchee mixed with old burritos that never goes away.

oo1. It might seem kind of weird but I consider myself Austrian. I was born here in California, but when I was eight Pauline (my mom, who is totally cool with the first name basis by the way), married my step-father Andy, who is the cutest little old dude EVER, oh man. Anyway, he adopted us, I got a sweet last name (because Pittz is gross), and then he convinced Pauline that the family should pack up and head overseas. We lived there till I was fourteen and then moved back to LA... well, that's that. I'm Austrian.

oo2. I have dual citizenship and speak German fluently, obviously. We lived near the border of Hungary so it was a necessity to pick up some Hungarian as well or else everyone was going to peg us for total Americans. After so many years living there, I picked up the accent too but that comes and goes now. I actually forgot how to speak a lot of English over there but it's all good now. Well, kind of. I still forget shit all the time so if you could be useful and like help me figure out that vague word I'm looking for, you'd be awesome.

oo3. I don't know anything about my real dad and I couldn't care less, seeing as he went to, you know, Splitsville when I was like four months old. It's still a sore subject with my older brother Alex though because he was old enough to remember him, but Andy is all the dad I'll ever need.

oo4. I'm self-taught, bitches! Well, kind of. I didn't have any formal training until high school. My mom used to teach piano but really, no one else in my family knows anything about music. We didn't have room for a piano in the apartment when I was a kid, but this old lady next door let me and Alex come over all the time and mess around on it. I started taking violin lessons at school when I was eight because everyone was required to take this lame music class and I hated it. I tried other strings but didn't feel comfortable until I started on the cello even though it's like the same size as me. I guess I just took to music more than other kids though because I started composing early on.

oo5. Let's not confuse radical feminism with lesbianism. I'm all for equal rights or whatever, but honestly just because I like girls doesn't mean I'm one of those stereotyped man-haters that goes around burning bras or whatever radical bullshit people think crazy feminists do. I believe that my opportunities and my rights shouldn't be restricted because of the way I was born - a homosexual and a woman. Similarily, just because I have a backbone and can stand up for myself does NOT equate crazy bull dyke or something, guys.

oo6. On that note, absolutely no one in my family was surprised when I came out, and I'm so grateful that I've got nothing but positive vibes at home. If anything I'm pretty much a dude in a little chick's body. I've always been a huge tomboy, and I hung out with my brother and his friends 24/7 when I was a kid, so I guess I got it into my head that I was just another little boy minus certain distinctive equipment.

oo7. I'm insanely competitive by nature, especially when it comes to other guys. There's a lot of bad blood behind being a chick in professional music, so I feel like I have to work harder to prove myself. As a kid, I was this scrappy little thing that took pride in the fact that I could do anything the other boys could, and that I could do it better. I climbed city park trees higher and stayed up longer, and no one could beat me at foot races. There wasn't a dare I wouldn't take either.

oo8. Apparently I piss a lot of people and their high horses off at Allegro with my composing and playing. Whatever. I can't help my creative impulse, and I'm glad to have my own style, even if it is rather off-kilter. I mean, I thought the point of going to a top notch school was to actually do something exciting, and what's the point if you're just sitting around blowing smoke up Mozart's ass?

oo9. My health is terrible. I was always in and out of hospitals when I was younger with lung problems. Pneumonia totally kicked my ass not once but twice, so it always came as a surprise to other people growing up that I wasn't as delicate a thing as they thought. Obviously I'm not climbing around in trees like a chimp anymore. I'm actually a complete lazy ass nowadays and get winded if I run, which is sort of ironic. Now I not only need an inhaler but have to use a nebulizer regularly.

o1o. Um, yeah, the number thirteen? Not cool. No seriously. It gives me the heebie-jeebies and the worst part is my birthday is on a thirteenth. I don't know how it all started and I can't explain how helpless I feel when I overanalyse everything to see if a title has thirteen letters in it or something. And yeah maybe it makes me a loser but I try to avoid getting cash back in ones at all costs. Did you know the back of the American dollar not only has a pyramid with thirteen steps, but "annuit coeptis" has thirteen letters, and so does "e pluribus unum." And it gets worse. There are thirteen stars above the eagle's head, thirteen stripes on the shield, thirteen war arrows in its left talon, and thirteen leaves on the olive branch in its right talon.

do you promise not to tell? Avery knows that the rest of the world doesn't see things the way her family does, especially in terms of her sexuality. When she started high school in America, she unfortunately had her first experience with the ignorant hatred that's out there: a group of girls in her year attacked her in the toilets and beat her badly. She's absolutely terrified of something like that happening again, and that's a big part of the whole wise-cracking, tough girl persona she's created for herself.

pb/picture Ellen Page.

{Bigmouth strikes again}

HOLYSHIIIIIIT!

Is it wrong not to always be glad?