In my daydreams, in my sleep, [entries|friends|calendar]

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[03 Jul 2009|12:24am]
So I guess I should tell you guys about Ian.

Ian plays on a pool league with my best friend's boyfriend/fiancee/babydaddy. Well, I was with her while he was away and we went to his pool match about 20 minutes away in this dive bar. We get there and sit at a small table and meet her boyfriend's mom and brother and Ian. Kayla introduced me to Ian and Don (friend, plays on pool league with them) and Ian made a comment about how I have nerdy black rimmed glasses too. Kayla replies "Yeah, and she's a nerd like you too!". A few minutes later he texted her for my number so he can mess around with me or whatever. But he asked her right in front of me how old I was. Well, he texted me and we basically talked all night til like 4AM.

Then we talked all week. To the point where he was asking me to show up the next week to his pool match. Well. I went. And I was nervous (like shaking.) and watched him play pool. He text texting Kayla that he was too nervous to talk to me. But then finally I moved to sit next to him. And then he just kept poking me. Like a little kid. It's so immature that it's cute. Then he kept grabbing my knee and I'd go to stop him. And then he held my hand. It was so cuteee :]! His friend Don kept staring at me and when Ian stopped drinking Don was like "Oh wow he really likes her!" It was cute. He kept trying to take pictures of us together. Both of us are not fans of pictures. But then finally Kayla took one. Not a fan of it but whatever. So we stayed until pool was over and then he tried to get me to play but I refused. Then we went back to kaylas....

We get to Kayla's and talk for a bit. Kayla and Nick went upstairs and we put on a movie. Ian kept trying to see if I was ticklish, which I'm not. But he is. I got his soft spot and he grabbed my arm and leaned in and kissed me [!!] We ended up making out the rest of the movie. I swear, it's like there was a manual written about what turns me on and he read it. Anyways. Kayla ended up walking in on me ontop of him making out. Damn baby is cock blocking me en utero. So then we sat there and cuddled for a bit and then he left to go home because he had work early in the morning. I walked him to his car and we made out some more. We're like teenagers.

The following week, last week, we were at the bar where we met. And he didn't even come near me til like the end. And then he hardly talked to me. Aparently he wanted to take me home that night and "have his way with me". But I had my period. It was odd. We hardly talked much that week. I was getting weird signals and wasn't sure what was going i wasnt sure if i was supposed to go to pool this week (yesterday).

On Saturday I went to a bbq/bon fire and becca and finch stole my phone and was texting ian how he should come sleep with me and shit. he was such a gentleman about it. it made me swoooooooon. Becca and finch were being jerks and he just stuck up for me.

Well, Kayla texted me and told me to walk there and Ian had texted me probably wondering where I was. So I get there and he hardly talks to me. So I'm thinking i pissed him off or whatever. [Sidenote: Ian likes to keep score of the games] But I think he was getting tired of sitting so far from me because he pulled up a chair next to me and started poking me and stuff and holding hands and i decided to stop being shy around him and just annoyed him. he said he wasnt annoyed. then it was time to leave and kayla wanted my phone charger so i had to go home. kayla didnt have room in her car so nick told ian to drive me i got in his car and buckled up and kayla and nick drove off. ian asked me where i lived and as i was telling him he leaned over and kissed me. after a minute of making out we decided to meet kayla and nick. we got there before them because they said they circled the block because i wasnt there. then we hung out on my street. then we decided to go to a parking lot to sit because we were blocking traffic. every time we stopped at a stop sign or light, ian and i made out. then kayla suggested we go to her place. i was all over him the whole time he was driving to kaylas (biting his neck and nibbling on his ear and kissing him) At one point I stopped and he goes "I didn't tell you that you could stop" I continued.

So then we get to kaylas. And I show Ian kayla's pet baby deer, Bambi. (yes i know...but the thing was left to die. they saved him/her) Then Ian went and sat on the recliner and I sat on his lap. We kissed when Kayla and Nick werent looking. He kept biting my boob. I blew on his ear and he grabbed my ass. (which he is a fan of). Then kayla went to bed and ian and i moved to the love seat and started making out. then to the futon. then we lost some clothes. then he fingered me and wasnt so nice about it. idk why boys get so rough at first. eagerness? anyways. after a few (i lost count) orgasms I had to hold his hand back because i needed to catch my breath. Thennn of course he had to wear a belt and make everything difficult for me because it was pitch black. so he helped me out. and i started giving him a handjob but the positioning was awkward. so i moved. and then i was getting tired because he wasnt getting off. so i repositioned myself and went for the gold. lets just say he didn't give me a warning and he ended up getting some in my hair. and honestly, i wasnt mad. i thought it was hilarious.

so i ran to kaylas bathroom (naked) to wash my hands. and Ian helped me get dressed because i couldnt find my shirt. and by help, i mean he fondled my boobs. after finally finding my shirt i walked him to his car. and he kissed me goodnight. like ten times. it was like
me: text me when you get home
ian: i will
me: drive safe!
ian: always do, babe
me: good. im glad
ian: goodnight
me: -makes sad puppy face-
ian: awe dont be sad!
me: i can't help it, it's like i like you or something!
ian: awee you're cute
me: you should just stay here with me
ian: i have to be to work in 3 hours

etc.etc.etc. you get the picture. lets just say. butterflies for sureeeeeee :] happiest i've been in such a long timeee.
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[07 May 2009|01:33am]
so i clearly don't know how to make a cut. haha.

well, college is over for now. really good last few days.
currently trying to move in with my brother. and look for a job.

well see.

suggest cds i should download!
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[06 May 2009|01:35am]
I'm back home. I'm sad to leave my loves. I'll post next about the last few days at st rose.

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<lj-cut="freshman>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

I'm back home. I'm sad to leave my loves. I'll post next about the last few days at st rose.

<lj-cut="freshman year">
50 Questions about the Memory of Freshman Year… Here is a chance to sum up your freshman year and think back on a few memories you have. Answer the questions honestly! You don’t have to be a freshman to answer the questions, the older you are the better. Tag ALL your Friends and the People who made your freshman year what it was…GOOD or BAD…

1.Where Are You From?
Orange County, NY

2.What School Did You Attend?
St Rose.

3.Where Is That Located?
Albany, NY

4.Was It Very Different From Where You’re From?
Home - Small quaint village. School - Downtown ghetto of a city.

5.Did You Stay On Campus?

6.What Residence Hall Did You Stay In?

7.Who Was Your Roommate?
First semester was Alexandra. But she's a fucking bitch. She moved out and then I had Emilie, my Polar Bear <3

8.Did You Get Along?
Alexandra: Not at all. She was a bitch.
Emilie: very much so <3

9.Who Were Your Closest Friends?
Heather, Kathleen, Liz, Becky, Andrea, Emilie, Jess, Thorfun, Shannon, Maureen, Katie, Andy to name a few.

10.Which Clubs/ Organizations Did You Join?
history club, then I got inducted into Phi Alpha Theta [History Honor Society]

11.Perform In Any Shows?

12.Who Were You Dating?
Mark for first semester. Single second semester.

13.Talk To Any Underclassmen?
I was an Underclassmen.

14.Where Did You Mostly Spend Your Weekends?
Home. hahah.

15.Where Did You Spend Most Of Your Money?
Food, alcohol.

16.Did You Party?



19.Get Tattooed?

20.How Many? Where?

21.Get A Piercing?

22.How Many? Where?

23.Get Lost?

24.Get Stranded?

25.Get In Any Fights?
With Alexandra but she was a bitch.

26.See Any Fights?

Oh yeah.

28.See Any Thing Disgusting?
more than I'd like to admit.

29.Do You Regret Anything You Did?
Yeah. But whatev.

30.Did You Go To Church?
I don't believe in God.

31.How Were Your Grades?

32.Fail Any Classes?

33.Drop Any Classes?

34.Who Was Your Favorite Professor? Least Favorite?
favorites: Fausette, Kannenburg, Holligan, Paredes (he wanted me, haha),Ledbetter,
least: mustapha, depinto, wahlleber,

35.What Was Your Favorite Course? Least Favorite?
favorites: African American TransAtlantic World, US History Since 1865,English 105, Spanish 101, Intro to Philosophy
leasts: Intro to History 100, Sub Saharan African Politics,

36.Fall Asleep In Any Classes?
US because I knew my stuff. Jen would have to kick me awake

37.Get Kicked Out Or In Trouble In Any Classes?

38.Argue With Any Professors?
Wahlleber because I knew I was right (and I was). Paredes because he was being a douche and he apologized.

39.What Time Did You Get Up Most Mornings?
1st Sem. MF- 9:30. TTH- 10:30. Off on Wednesdays.
2nd Sem. MWF- 9:30. TTH- 10:30

40.Ever Wake Up To Eat Breakfast?
I saw breakfast 3 times. Once was at 1PM on a weekend. Once was with Heather who woke me up and dragged me there. And once was on my last day there with Emilie.

41.What Was Your Favorite Cafeteria Food?
Quesedilla's when they had them first semester. Grilled Chicken. Salads. Broccoli. And wraps.

42.What Did You Do For Thanksgiving?

43.What About Winter Break?
Pretty badass. Got wreckless with my family and HS friends.

44.Spring Break?

45.Who Did You Miss The Most?
My friends who went away to school or that I havent seen in a while.

46.Did You Grow Apart From Your Old Friends?
Yeah. I miss them.

47.What Food Did You Miss The Most?
The real kind

48.What Is The First Thing You're Gonna Do When You Get Home?
Shower without flip flops.

49.Learn Anything New About Yourself?
Yeah. I learned different things about myself like who to trust and what a real friend is and who my real friends are.

50.Are You Gonna Miss Your Freshman Year?
I'm going to miss my strose hoes <3
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[29 Apr 2009|02:41am]
research papers SUCK
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[07 Mar 2009|06:26pm]

If you're feeling so generous, I'm raising money for childhood cancer.

Childhood cancer kills more children in the U.S. than any other disease--more than AIDS, asthma, diabetes, cystic fibrosis and congenital anomalies, combined. This fact devastates me and is one of the reasons why I'm volunteering with the St. Baldrick's Foundation.

Please join me by making a donation on my behalf. Simply click on "Donate online" or "Donate by mail or phone" and you will contribute to the day when children no longer have to suffer from this terrible disease.

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[08 Feb 2009|11:07am]
It's been decided. Emily, Finch, Katie, and I are getting some people together and we're going to Toronto.
Seriously, why not? We need a road trip. We need to make up for our poor excuses for lives.

So, does anyone know if it's easy to book a hotel in Canada (Ontario) when you're 19? && What should we go see?
Also, where's the best place online to check? travelocity? orbits?

More update laterrr.
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[17 Jan 2009|12:36am]
im bored.
yay friday nights alone...doing nothing...

Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses the artist ( or soundtrack.. ) and the song name correctly.
Step 4: For those who are guessing -- looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING!
Step 5: If you like the game post your own

1. I spend more time trying to breathe.

2. It's getting cold thought it was too soon to tell but it was terribly old

3. Yeah you've been alone, I've been gone for far too long

4. Hey girl, is he everything you wanted in a man?

5. There are things in this world that I don't understand, like love, war, gravity or the lay of the land.

6. Keep your hands to yourself, these lips belong to someone else.

7. I wash it down just to block out all the sound

8. We are the leaders and the preachers teaching you what is right from wrong.

9. I'd like to take this time to detach my jaw, and really take a look.

10. Let's go! Indifference grows, indifference feeds on me.

11. Stay with me, You're the one that I need

12. I wish I could unzip my skin and take it off just to take a walk but I can’t do it

13. I found how to get to her now, I'll whisper in her ear when she's asleep beg her to love me when the morning comes she'll never know

14. The boys they have their eyes all over you, and you're loving every second of attention.

15. I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins.

16. I saw a spider I didn't scream, and I can belch the alphabet just double dog dare me.

17. My spine can be the piano keys that your fingertips play.

18. It's hard to wake up when the shades have been pulled shut.

19. I started looking out for myself today but then I stopped because I don't care.

20. Dressed up from head to toe to get by, it seems once again I forget what keeps me safe and dry.

21. Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in because it's cold outside, it's cold inside.

22. If you hate the taste of wine why do you drink it until you're blind?

23. I was so scared of everything you put in front of me I've been arching every part of me

24. I fly like paper, get high like planes

25. Just sit back and tell me I'm a liar for this.
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[06 Jan 2009|03:15am]
my best friend called me today.
she's pregnant.
i'm going to be the godmom.

im excited but disappointed at the same time. while i love her, i wish she wouldve planned her life out better. she wasnt using any form of protection.

she doesnt have a job, she doesnt go to school. she lives with her controlling boyfriend. he doesnt have a job. he's an army reservist so he only goes one weekend a month. and he might be shipped out soon.

but i love her and respect any decision she chooses. she's about 2 months along now.
they want to get married soon after the baby is born. and i will be maid of honor.
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[14 Jan 2008|08:49pm]

friends only.
comment to be added.

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