We're going to your place and now you got to freak me out

nineteen

2011-05-30T19:22:56Z

Save your condolences for someone who cares. My child is dead. Words won't bring her back. My father's youngest children are now motherless and they will always know that she died a murderess. There is no comfort you can offer that will sate my despair.

eighteen

2011-04-15T21:20:08Z

Honestly, if this child has one more accident, I'm through. I don't want them anymore.

seventeen

2010-08-29T03:33:59Z

How dare you do this to my husband and not expect to be caught?! There will be justice. I swear it.

sixteen

2010-08-07T01:53:02Z

[Warded from Christopher]
My husband has been acting remarkably strange as of late.

fifteen

2010-06-16T21:11:29Z

Silencing charms work marvelously well when babies won't shut their bleeding traps.

fourteen

2010-04-15T02:16:24Z

Children are absolutely vile.

thirteen

2010-03-02T14:52:59Z

BED REST?

I suspect ~~my father's wife~~ at least one house elf will be killed before this is through.

twelve

2009-12-28T19:31:09Z

I want them out of me! Now!

eleven

2009-10-06T21:23:28Z

I promise you that I will kill someone if I do not receive a proper massage and pampering within the next hour. Proper pampering does include cherries. I want a bleeding bowl of cherries. Now.

ten

2009-09-10T06:06:16Z

Lovely, is it not?

nine

2009-08-10T12:05:35Z

[Vivica]
WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE IS YOUR BROTHER? MY FATHER IS MISSING. THE FATHER OF MY CHILD IS MISSING. I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS.

[Aland]
RESPOND. NOW.

[Christopher]
~~WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? I'M PREGNANT, YOU PONCE~~ Are you dead? If you are dead, I will kill you a second time.

eight

2009-07-29T03:32:45Z

[Private]
Fuck Fuck Fuck

[Vivica]
~~I NEED YOU. NOW.~~ Vivica, darling, could you spare an hour or two for me?

Honestly, there must be a charm to block idiotic entries from one's reader.

seven

2009-04-12T22:48:38Z

The sudden abundance of random clamor and chaos occurring in the wizard world over the past week has made me somewhat envious. I've yet to witness an act anymore tumultuous than my younger siblings having a row, which is hardly poignant or entertaining, over the remaining cauldron cakes. Fortunately, they both will be returning to Hogwarts after today and the raucous sounds of their loud inane arguments over a shared washroom will cease. Their impending absence will do little to alleviate my boredom, however. A manor emptied of its inhabitants is nothing more than a dull creaky forest of rooms with house elves and family ghosts. It is an obnoxiously tame and stagnant existence when you alone occupy the manor's upper floors. I believe I need to find a few worthy and tolerable house guests to correct this loathsome imbalance.

six

2009-03-06T18:30:44Z

[Aland]
I do not appreciate being cast off as if I am second to anyone, Aland. Nor do I appreciate being ignored.

Why, Augustus! It has been too long. Tell me, what is new in your life? Collecting rare bobbles and words, I hear! We absolutely must make the time to catch-up. I know of a wonderfully quaint bookshop hidden away in Madras that I know you will adore. I do hope you have time in your weekend for a trip with a little treasure hunting and perhaps some light recreation? To know I'd be visiting such a warm and lavish locale without the proper wizard to escort me would certainly put the kibosh on my day.

five

2008-11-02T07:54:02Z

Absolutely ridiculous. As if stealing away an exonerated wizard's family makes you any less of a villain.

Is this the Crusades? Shall I make a running tally of martyrs to be avenged?

[Vivica]
Darling, you know if there is anything that you or your dear brother require, there is a haven for you here.

[Aland]
There are a number of spare rooms for you to choose from here. You ought not be alone and surely your home is overrun with tactless filth.

four

2008-10-29T06:20:10Z

How thoughtful of my dear brother to procure a wizard of proper quality to escort me to the ball. Imagine what could have transpired if I had arrived stag or missed the gala altogether. Pity that we will never know.

three

2008-09-14T09:57:59Z

The real tragedy here is that two strong examples of wizards are being locked away from streets that desperately need their presence, for crimes they did not commit.

two

2008-03-17T15:53:16Z

Quidditch. Is that really all there is to talk about?

Yawn.

one

2008-03-13T22:57:46Z

Note: Rainy days, cobblestones, and platform boots do not go together. Of course, there is not a single thing (other than fire) in existence or future existence that platform boots do or will go with so this should have been a given. Therefore if you do wear them in public and proceed to fall on your fat arse in said public, I will laugh and mock you. You have been warned.