time will set us free

for reference / linking

2009-04-29T23:34:29Z

I walked out with a head full of self-doubt. Had I really just seen my girlfriend with another man? I slammed the door, just to make sure.

The street was cold and empty. My only company was the razorblade in my back pocket. Indeed, it was my only friend on many nights similar, at least before I met her. Now I knew we would be making up for lost time tonight.

I collapsed at the end of her driveway, one of my feet sinking into the wet gutter. My head hit the concrete, sending jolts of pain to my eyes. Next to my head was an open bucket of chalk; earlier in the day we had scribbled our names onto the drive, complete with cliché little hearts.

I couldn’t get the image out of my head: my girlfriend sliding off her dress, a man sitting naked at the foot of her bed. The painting I had done for her was crooked over them. But had I really seen it? Could I trust my tainted mind?

Tears were dripping down my face, even though I tried to stop them. I didn’t need to cry! Everything was going to be fine. This was just a silly mishap, a mistake.

I knew that was a lie.

Reaching into my pocket, I took out the razorblade. It was wrapped in a fine white handkerchief, which was speckled with blood. I unravelled it gently, careful not to cut my fingers. It was obvious that I had some skill with this, because I was quick and efficient. I wanted to get down to business.

I sat up, kicking the chalk into the grass. The razor sat poised on my left wrist, ready to leave its mark. The existing scars were dull in the coming moonlight.

I looked at the door anxiously. Had she even noticed me walk in on them? And if she had, would she come looking for her traumatized boyfriend? Did she care at all? “Just come out,” I said under my breath. “Just come out and be with me. I don’t want to have to do this.” The door didn’t budge.

Grabbing a stray piece of chalk, I threw it directly at her window. Surely that would bring her out. It shattered against the glass. There wasn’t even the vaguest hint of movement.

I searched for the place where we had written our names. This was where I would do it, I decided. This was where I would make her remember.

Sitting the razor on the ground momentarily, I took my cell phone from my pocket. This was my last effort. She had to come. My fingers shook as I dialled her number; I couldn’t look at her picture when it appeared on the screen.

It rang. With each passing second my heart beat louder, blood rushing to my head. ‘This is it,’ I thought, ‘this is when she’ll pick up and rush outside to me. She loves me.’

Her voicemail came on. It was a happy message, and even mentioned me by name. She said she loved me. But if she indeed loved me, why was she not out here for me to effortlessly take her back?

The years we had been together meant nothing anymore. I had forgiven her so many times before, but it wasn’t going to happen now. I should have been there for her. I led her to cheating. It was all my fault.

“Hey, it’s me,” I started, shakily. “I just want you to know that I love you.” I picked up the blade again, balancing the phone on my shoulder. “I love you so damn much.” My breath caught in my throat. This was it.

I slid the razor horizontally across my wrist, hard and deep. I inhaled sharply. “It’s not your fault.” Lie. “It’s all mine. It always is.” Lie. “I just wanted you to know.” My breath was coming in hard gasps by the time I closed the phone. This was it.

Lying back, I spread my arms out to either side of my frail body and let the razor slip onto the driveway. The concrete was cold, but the blood warmed my fingertips. I closed my eyes, her image burned into my eyelids.

I let the blood soak into the concrete, into our chalk names. I hoped that it would never come out – a gruesome memento of me and my love for her.

“I love you,” I mumbled, clenching my teeth. “And no matter what, I would still die for you.”

memes are like stds-- we all have them and don't know where they came from. xD

2009-01-20T17:16:35Z

1. How about a brief introduction?
Is this rehab? wtf. hi. I'm chelsy. chela if you're kinky. haha. I live in kentucky bleghhhh but will be in south carolina for college in a few months ftw.

2. What got you into role playing? The first game I ever joined was the barrow-downs, a fandom rpg: god, I just went back, and it looks exactly the same. that was the place I first roleplayed, and where I grew into what I am now. I really respect and appreciate my time there. (Here's my account, because I have no shame: http://forum.barrowdowns.com/member.php?u=267)

3. Original, Fandom, or other?
I play mostly originial games, now. I like the creative freedom.

4. Which one of your muses fan favorite and why do you think people think so?
Hmm. Who of mine is y'alls favourite? I really don't know. I don't keep up with these things. haha.

5. What post/thread are you most proud of?
Oh god! that's not possible. I love all of my scenes. I can't do it. But it'd be something from pierian, defs.

6. Do you find writing easy? Hard? What aspects do you struggle with?
Well, it's easy, I guess. I think I'm good with grammar, but sometimes I can't describle. I tend to tell, not show. And when I do show, I get so flowery and annoying that it's... flowery and annoying.

7. Do you tend to use the same PB again and again? Is the character different each time, or the same one tweaked slightly to for each game?
I don't think I've used the same pb more than once. there are too many pretty people out there to recycle, though sometimes I want to.

8. Write a few sentences on your favorite muse or pairing.
Muse? Or character? I can't pick a favourite character. Right now I'm loving wade cos he's shiny and new, but there's something about lydia that I just can't bare to part with. hmm.

9. Do you have any big pet peeves when it comes to RP?
I hate godmodding. now, of course, with y'all, I don't have that problem, because I trust everything you do in the game, but I've seen it in the past.

10. Are you guilty of any of the pet peeves you hate?
I don't godmod. sorry.

11. What was the first game you joined? Fandom,Original, or Celeb?
http://forum.barrowdowns.com/
wtf muse or character again? I have several muses. one is this spitfirey redheaded girl. there's another tall, thin dude who's really emo. he comes up a lot. xD

13. What would you call your writing style?
people say I write teenagers very well. maybe it's because I am one? idk.

15. Name one thing/character you'd love to write/pick up but have been too afraid or shy to do.

Sometimes I feel uncomfortable with it, I'm generally not too bad and I'm always willing to better myself when it comes to writing.

17. When you write, is there anything that helps?
Music.

18. What inspires you?
music, books, tv, every day life.

19. Lastly, how would you sum up your RP experiences and you as a writer?
they were the best of times, they were the worst of times... but mainly the best. :]

14. Do you have a set group of people you tend to RP with? If so, what is it about them that makes you stick around?
ILY BBS! you're so lovely and creative and unique and I adore every second.

more gaaaames

2009-01-14T17:19:15Z

In this game, I am going to list 10 FACTS, all of which are true. You have to guess which of my PS characters they belong to. Comment with whatever ones you can guess!

1. l. frank baum // lydia baum
2. alexandre dumas // davy dumas
3. william makepeace thackeray // wade thacker
4. mark twain // markie clemens

1. cries every time they watch 'titanic'.
2. has seen every 'harry potter' movie and read the books about eight times each
3. hates going swimming
4. owns striped socks in every combination of colours possible
5. won their first acting award in their third grade production of christopher columbus discovering america
6. paints at least once a day
7. has two different myspaces, one main one and another for pictures
8. only been drunk once, and not by choice
9. loves their favourite pair of orange pants
10. wants to join the army like their father

can you keep a secret?

2009-01-14T17:03:42Z

Pick one of my characters and one of yours, and I'll tell you something they've always wanted to say to your character but could never bring themselves to say out loud. don't hold back~!

(also, I'm still working on the kiss stories. just so you know. :])

kissy kissy

2009-01-13T17:06:41Z

Pick two characters, one I play and one you play, and come with a location and/or situation, and I will write you ~~between 50 and 250 words~~ a short fic of probably any length about the kiss that happened in that context.

It can be a pairing we already share or one that is completely random and impossible! It can also be old characters of mine or yours. No limits on this one!

so.

2008-11-10T16:15:01Z

I'm kind of pissed. I had this big long spiel typed in here and it was utterly epic, I hit 'post', and it was gone. of course, it didn't autosave or whatever, either, because life sucks for me. so I'll make it shorter this time because I don't feel like writing it all again.

I'm thinking of dropping lydia. it's not that I don't like her, because I do, it's that I don't use her. so if y'all want lydia to stay around, you need to give her some action-- which now makes me think of lydia having sex which would be awkward for everyone. you saw her drunk. sex would be worse.

as I was pondering what life without ms. baum would be like, I figured for a moment that I would only have three characters. says I, "three characters is perfect in november! you have a book to write, after all!" I them promptly shot this side of me in the face with a cow tranquilizer and threw it in a closet.

what this means, in a nutshell, is that if I get rid of lydia, I'm picking someone else up. It's inertia or gravity or something. chela can't have less than four characters or she'll explode. and you don't want chela on the walls, do you? blood is awfully messy and I'm afraid some vampires might come and that will just mess everyone up. so don't let me explode.

I have a list of a few that I've considered, but I really don't know which one I want. Any characters in particular you ladies are looking for? I'm thinking: upton sinclair (black, for jessi. haha), sinclair lewis, t.h. white (a sadist, because he would have plenty of friends in the springs haha), c.s. forester (army kid, but nothing like markie. we don't need another markie. xD), agatha christie... I think that's it. anyone else?

so. comments, questions, queries? also, I realise that 'queries' and 'questions' is pretty much the same thing but they sound good together so stfu.

why not.

2008-10-17T16:12:34Z

1. What would your character kill for? What would they die for?
2. What would they refuse to do under any circumstances? Why?
3. What do they dream about? [Either literal or figurative].
4. What’s their biggest fear?
5. What single object would they be most hard pressed to part with? Why?
6. What is their fondest memory?
7. What is their worst memory?
8. What or who was were their most significant influence? Expound.
9. What do they believe makes a successful life?
10. What makes them laugh?
11. What are their religious views?
12. What is their greatest strength?
13. Do they have a fatal flaw? If so, what is it?
14. Who is the most important person in their life?
15. If they died or went missing, who would miss them most?
16. How would they describe themselves?
17. How would others describe them?

lala it's cold in heeeere

2008-10-16T15:51:42Z

Name: Chelsy
Alias: Chela
Years role playing: about five now.

Notebooks: no
Earthlink: wtf is that?
Chatrooms: on aim, yeah.
Message Boards: I used to, and I'm thinking about starting up at a new one I just found.
Journals: yessir!

Favourite three characters: currently? hmm. lydia, romeo (though I don't play him much D:), and alfred
Least favourite character: davy is feeling really weird for me right now.
Male or female characters: both, but I think I write boys better.
Oldest character: oldest one I still have? markie. oldest age wise? uhm... alfred? or is it franz?
Newest character: wade
Most popular character: in-game, markie's supposed to be popular. wow. hmm. I don't really have any popular characters. haha.

Which character of yours would be most likely to...
Jump off a bridge: franz would do it for fun
Get drunk and pass out: davy
Kill somebody in a very unorthodox way: hmm. markie would probably kill someone with a nail file.
Get married: lydia (if it's jt, haha), otherwise, alfred? davy maybe. idk.
Be far too hyper for their own good: lydia
Rape somebody: hmm, wow. I don't see him doing it, but I think, out of all of them, probably wade.
Be raped: lydia
Get lost and refuse to ask for directions: romeo
Get lung cancer: also romeo
Star in a horror movie: markie would be in one and wear heels and break her ankle.
Star in a porno: romeo says he's tots up for a sex tape.
Star in a video game: how do you star in a video game?
Be a rap star: haha franz would totally try.
Have a torrid gay love affair: wade, but no one would ever know.

Relate each word to a character of yours.
Love: romeo
Hate: wade
Money: romeo
Seduction: markie
Lies: wade
Tragedy: uhm...
Manipulation: markie
Violence: wade
Politics: hmm...
Fire: lydia
Ice: franz. idk why.

Lastly, would you ever...
Play a prostitute? why not?
Play a musician? most def.
Play a pilot? give me a shot!
Play a homosexual? I LOVE FRANZ <3
Play a pedophile? hell, sure
Play a politician? I'm not very good with politics
Create a character for the sole purpose of smut? I'm not that shallow.

he's "ps' gossip girl", according to jessi

2008-10-13T22:27:53Z

(let's liven scribbld back up, shall we?)

so I've brought in wade and have started scening with him. he's a very busy gossiper-- if you're in a conversation with him for more than ten minutes, you're probably going to hear something about yourself floating around school the next day. of course, I can't come up with all of this gossip, so I'm letting you guys have free reign. if you want to mention a rumour in a scene you're writing, you can go ahead and assume that wade started it-- or passed it around, at least. he has no shame, so don't be afraid to make them disgusting and morally corrupt. ;]

here ye here ye

2008-09-23T16:19:04Z

I have a franz ferdinand at arp now. his journal is fearlessfranz and he is an artist and he is my first OMGGAY character in a rp so I tots think we should do a scene now y/y?

memelicious

2008-09-22T22:48:18Z

If you could say anything to one (or more) of my characters, what would you say? Give advice, give a compliment, ask a question, whatever! I'll give you a response in-character.

oh, what the hell.

2008-09-16T15:51:02Z

you know the drill. go for it bbs.

1. What do you think of _____________ ?

2. When did you last ____________ ?

3. __________ or ___________ and why?

4. What did you ______________ ?

5. What's your favorite ______________ ?

6. How would you ______________ ?

7. Who would you most like to ________ ?

a favour~

2008-09-10T16:09:20Z

you guys are good a pbs, yeah? yeah, that's what I thought. I need you to search for me because I'm coming up with nothing but I really want this character to have a proper pb.

so here's what I need. I'm making a new character for ps but it's hush hush for now. so shhhh. I need a native american teenage boy. if he's not really native, but like hawaiian or indian or whatever that's cool, but he just needs to have that feel.

your help is very much appreciated, bbs.

edit: and because I'm a totally douche I didn't look at the ooc comm until just now, so I now know that characters aren't being accepted at this point in time. but I don't care because I'm doing him and he can just sit around. :]

I didn't plan on doing this, dammit!

2008-09-09T23:18:39Z

you all with your influence.

Give me one of my characters and one of yours, and I'll tell you how they end up together and what their first-born is like, even if they are unqualified to have children. I'll even give a PB because I'm fabulous.

might as well

2008-09-06T15:15:30Z

Comment with one of my characters (past or present) and I will tell you the following:

1. What initially prompted me to like the character enough to write about him/her.
2. One of his/her best traits.
3. One of his/her worst traits.
4. How easy/difficult I find it to write the character.
5. The story/thread/chapter/post/paragraph/tag/phrase where I feel that I truly captured the character.
6. My plans for the character in the near future. (In the case of previous characters, this question reads as "what I planned to do with them.")

I can't resist anymore

2008-09-03T22:41:42Z

so. this was going to be a poll, but scribbld decided to be all, "hey, I'm a bitch and don't want to make polls right now!" we're gonna have to do this the old fashioned way, then.

I'm going to make a character. I can't resist the temptation any more. I just don't know who. It'll either be upton sinclair for ps, or franz ferdinand for arp. or maybe both. ya'll need to tell me who you wanna see because I really don't know.

I have no imagination.

2008-08-30T23:21:25Z

Explain the meanings for all of the usernames for all of the characters you roleplay.

Pierian Springs

Louisa Alcott -- Louisa May Alcott: geez_louisa
geez louise, geez louisa, yeah, I though I was cool.

Lydia Baum -- L. Frank Baum: tree_hugging
I like underscores, apparently. but lydia's last name means 'tree' in german, and she's sort of a hippie and yeah.

Davy Dumas -- Alexandre Dumas: maninanironmask
Dumas wrote The Man in the Iron Mask. so there.

Markie Clemens -- Mark Twain: permanentmarkie
like permanent marker. don't judge me.

Stage Left

Romeo Montague -- Romeo Montague: beautytoorich
from the line, "like a rich jewel in an Ethiop's ear // beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear!" even though it's talking about juliet, romeo's vain enough for it to work.

Tom Wingfield -- Tom Wingfield: memory_play
In The Glass Menagerie, Tom considers his works 'memory plays'.

A Royal Pain

Albert Gotha -- Prince Albert, Prince Consort: in_a_can
prince albert. in a can. do you have any? ha ha get it?

memeeeeeeees

2008-08-28T16:14:39Z

okk. so I stumbled upon this website called the meme express and that was probably not good for your flist. just sayin'. here a few I grabbed at random, and feel free to steal them. I'm going to answe them for only one of my characters, starting in alphabetical order-- I'm really surprised I've got a system!

[idk why it won't be uncentred without deleting the cut. hmm.]

Albert

Do you love the rain . . . or hate it? The rain's okay, I suppose. It's water. I like water. But it's not always good to be swimming when it's raining.

Have you ever sung, danced or simply played in the rain? Yes. And there won't be an explanation to that one.

What do you like best about a rainy day? Everything seems so much slower on a rainy day. I don't have to worry about keeping up with every one and thing.

Have you ever thought about the rain (or a storm) as a metaphor for life? No, not really, but now that you mention it...

Davy

Do you remember rising early on Saturday mornings, as a child,
to watch your favorite animated series? Gulah-Gulah Island, oh my God.

Which cartoons did you like the most? see number one.

Do you still enjoy animated programming? It depends what it is. I'm not going to watch most of the cartoons on nowadays, because they're all shit.

What do you think about the advertising that accompanies these shows? They make me hungry, generally. But I don't think kids shows should have advertisements. That's just causing parents to spend more money on useless things-- trust me, I know.

How have animated programs changed in recent years? They suck now. Short and simple.

Louisa

Do you love to read? I like to read, yes.

How many paperbacks do you have going at one time? I try to have just one. I don't have time for more than one.

What is your favorite genre of books? I like real-life sort of things. Struggles of the everyman.

Do you consider paperback books a scholarly pursuit or a guilty pleasure? Both. Or can't they be in-between?

Have you ever written a book? Hah, yeah right. Although it kind of is a dream of mine.

If you could write a book, what would it be about? Recently I've been thinking a lot about the prairie. Maybe it's because I'm from Kansas, I don't know.

Lydia

Do you believe in Heaven? Yes, I very much believe in Heaven.
Is it a tangible place? I don't know what you mean by 'tangible'. Is it realistic? Well, no, not really. It's Heaven.But that doesn't mean it's not real.
What do you think it is like? I think everyone that's ever been lost is there. Every family can be together and be happy. That's what Heaven is: happiness.
Do you think you will go there someday? If I keep playing my cards right, then yes.
What is eternity? Eternity's forever. Heaven is eternity.
How important is it to think about Heaven now? It's important, but not so important. As long as I keep going to church and being a (semi-)proper Christian, I'm fine.

Markie

What special memories do you have of your own parents? I remember when they told me that I was never going to have a little brother or sister. It's really vivid in my head-- Mom was wearing a blue dress and looking real sad, and Dad was in suit. Not sure why. I was sitting on the couch playing with a Barbie and just say, "Yeah, okay." I still feel that way, I guess.

Why not recount an anecdote from your own childhood? I fell off a horse and scraped my knee and ripped my cute pink dress. Mom told me that at least I wasn't really hurt. I said that my dress was hurt and stormed off, only to fall again and get mud all over myself. She just laughed.

Are you a parent? No. Thank God. I know what a condom is.

Got any helpful advice for parents-to-be? Spoil them. Worked for me!

well do ya, do ya do ya wannaaaaaaa

2008-08-26T00:15:06Z

someone should probably say, 'hey, chelsy, you don't need a franz ferdinand at arp.'

we need to nip this in the bud, as were, before he comes into existance.

~~because I really kind of want him but albert would get jealous methinks.~~

another meme!

2008-08-24T23:55:32Z

How long have you been roleplaying?: well, I started at about 12, but that was all really shite quality. I started with the reincarnated authors (and actual good games) around 2 years ago, I guess.
How many characters do you currently have?: Uhm. I think I'd have to list them to get them all: Albert, Davy, Louisa, Lydia, Markie, Romeo, and Tom. The last two I don't really play, and that only really upsets me about Romeo.
How many of them are in a relationship?: 4.
What's your favourite current romantic pairing?: Romeo/Juliet will always make me happy. And for some reason I really love Louisa/Jack.
What's your favourite romantic pairing that you’ve ever had?: Oh wow tough question. I really liked JT/Lydia, no matter how short it was. But I love all my pairings <3.
What's your favorite non-romantic pairing that you currently have or have ever had?: Oscar/Louisa, Romeo/Mark

Which of your characters is most likely to kiss on a first date?: Romeo (although he's not going to have any more first dates), Markie most def, Louisa maybe.
Which of your characters is most likely to sleep with someone they just met?: Romeo, Markie, and Louisa did it but thankfully got a relationship out of it
Which of your characters is most likely to have a one night stand?: Markie, and surprisingly I can see Tom doing it.
Which of your characters is most likely to have an affair with someone much older?: Markie. Because she is a slut.
Which of your characters is most likely to have an affair with someone younger than them?: Again Markie, for the same reason. Others depend on exactly how much younger.
Which of your characters is most likely to have an affair with someone who's married?: Markie. Romeo, if he wasn't married himself.
Which of your characters is most likely to have a secret gay affair?: Romeo has had secret gay affairs, but he is now very straight. Markie would swing that way, if you will, if the girl was hot enough.

Which of your characters is most likely to get pregnant without being married first?: Markie, and Lydia if she ever had premarital sex.
Which of your characters (that is not already a parent) is least likely to become a parent?: Even though it contradicts the question above, Lydia. She likes kids but I can't see her settling down and having them-- on purpose.
Which of your characters is most likely to get married?: Albert, and if things continue the way they are, Louisa.
Which of your characters is most likely to never get married?: Lydia and Markie
Which of your characters is most likely to stay married longest?: Albert, Louisa, and Lydia if she could get to that point.
Which of your characters is most likely to get a divorce?: Markie. For some reason I want to say Davy, too, even though he's a romantic.

ta~!

2008-08-22T15:49:37Z

I'm out of here for the weekend, liebchens. I was going to make a post on lj, but I have three different communities I'd have to do it in so I figured I'd just do it here~. I might be around, might not. Going to my dad's so it really depends. If you need me, email me and I'll get back to you when I can. AND WHEN I GET BACK I AM DOING A SCENE WITH EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. get in an orderly single file line, please.

ciao.

18 august list update

2008-08-18T16:17:33Z

I updated my character list today to add albert. the formatting is being a bitch, but whatever. it's there~.

save the earth. lydia would be proud.

2008-08-17T17:59:48Z

Here's what you give me:
1) one of my characters
2) one of your characters

Here's what I'll give you:
1) a letter of some sort written to that character

because I can't come up with my own memes~.

friendlyfire @ 2008-08-14T11:41:00

2008-08-14T15:41:19Z

guys. guys, guys. I have a new character and he's pretty much the coolest thing ever except I'm not really in touch with him yet and I don't like using periods so blow me. okk. so. breeeeeath, chela. we just got internet access at school again so I'm excited to be able to be online. except I can only get on certain websites but still. OH YEAH my new character. (I really shouldn't eat so much candy should I?) my new character is albert, prince consort. or albert gotha, swimmer extraordinaire. he teachers swim lessons to little kids and is tall and lanky and awkward and also did I say he was gorgeous? yeah. so. albert. play with him, will you?

just a reminder

2008-08-04T22:28:56Z

in case you forgot, I'm going back to school tomorrow (tuesday). I should be around at my normal times, 6-8pm est, once I get into the swing of things.

also, someone dissuade me from making an upton sinclair. I already have 4 characters at ps.