Because some people are RUDE--
Just because I said I didn't need to pay rent because you're so SURLY--

Because my soon-to-be-former residence houses an enormous JERK pain in the arse, I am seeking someone seeking a flatmate.

Well, I thought travelling north of the equator meant saying goodbye to humid weather, but goodness! Britain, you're so muggy!

Now, tell me everything new, and quickly, before a little pair of claws or horns get the better of this book.