izanami's journal

not much has changed

Fri, 03 Jun 2016 00:23:00 GMT

Oh, great. I wrote about a paragraph then something went wrong and it all disappeared. Basically, my tumblr got hacked so I thought I would see how many other of my ancient/forgotten accounts I could find and maybe delete. I was going to delete this one but I just read the few entries I already wrote and I thought, like, wow, time capsule! So I will leave this account alone for now.

D still rings up to mumble/yap/sing at me, but now she sends mindless crap over facebook/whatsapp instead of in email. I still avoid her as much as possible.

unproductive again

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:58:56 GMT

Did absolutely nothing yesterday other than a few daily/regular things I do on Facebook. Spent the rest of the day asleep - got up late, then went back to bed (because I was dozing off anyway) until 4.30pm. Hadn't meant to sleep that long, but I guess I needed it. Getting worried about the level of fatigue I'm experiencing. Had thought I'd beaten it earlier this year, but now it's back and I don't know what to do about it. Will mention it to my doctor when I see him, I guess. At least I managed to cook dinner.

still no idea

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:50:58 GMT

I know I'm not happy with the way things are but other than what I know I have to change about my behaviour, I don't know what to do to get out of this hole I dug for myself. I decided that major changes couldn't happen til next year because of what is happening in December (hoping to get closure on a certain issue), but meantimes I am getting dragged further down by my own stupidity. How old do I have to be before I stop behaving like a spoiled teenage girl? Ironically I was never a spoiled teenage girl at the time... making me a late starter, I suppose.

Okay, hello, this is me. I often don't make sense, even to myself, even when I know what I'm trying to say, so don't waste brain cells trying to understand. Probably there isn't anything to understand, it's just me being stupid.

I'm female and over 25 but I'm in one of those phases where I don't want to say exactly how old I am because I'm not feeling it. I don't feel like an adult. I don't know when I will, if I ever will. I just don't know.

I either sleep too much or not enough. I can't seem to balance it out.

I tend to forget to eat but I wouldn't say I have an eating disorder - internet addiction, yeah. Porn addiction, slightly (internet porn more so).

I don't socialise much because I don't have many close friends and those who are emotionally close are geographically distant, whereas the local ones are people I've learned I can't trust much. Sad, but there you go.