Life Notes - April 5th, 2008

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April 5th, 2008

01:10 pm - Muse
Someone at a poetry event -- I can't recall who it was -- once asked me what my muse was. I asked her to clarify what she meant, and she said that some people can only have the energy to write after they've undergone some pain.

I think 'muse' is a very crude word, but if there is an answer to that question, I find that I am most energized after being exposed to other good works of art. The aesthetic sense is associated with pleasure that isn't quite the same as anything else that can be experienced, even if it is pleasurable. It feels different, somehow.

And perhaps that sense of aesthete isn't always associated with creation (I use creation here as a simplification of Coleridge's basic theory). It's also associated with a certain degree of destruction, such as --


-- the time when I opened this draft of a poem that I am about to present at the performance poetry thing and then decided to toss it into the garbage bin.

It's not that it was bad. It's just that (oh look at my ego/artist's temperament again!) it just didn't feel right. Wasn't me.

I'm probably going to get clicked off (or stomped off?) the stage at The Loft, but ah well.

Note to self:
Refer A Scanner Darkly (which I haven't watched), Tsai Ming Liang, Miss Fynn. All gacked from the sickening word, the blogosphere. This is what I am doing when I ought to be focusing on Wong Phui Nam.

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02:00 pm
To write later: on Farish Noor, Kit Siang. Linguistics, the sadness of having to resort to using CAPS to GET your ATTENTION, and Miss Fynn and about not being able to appreciate and express myself in the Malay language as beautifully as she does.

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