| it should be easy.....shouldnt it? |
[07 Sep 2008|08:10pm] |
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my heart doesnt know the way it needs to go...my mind doesnt know where it should be...and i just wish i knew how to make myself wake up from this dream that sometimes i wish i i wasnt having. i gotta stop making things worse for myself. i gotta just love what i have and forget all the rest. why am i doing this to myself? its all my fault...i know it is.
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| this is it |
[23 Aug 2008|09:40pm] |
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music |
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missy higgins.....where i stood |
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i guess i just dont understand. my heart hurts from all the crazyness around me. do you ever feel like just crying. like no one around you understands the pain your in. the thing is, is that i dont know why i am in so much pain...which makes it harder to explain how i feel. he tries. i know in his heart he tries..to understand...to love me with every beat of his heart. but i guess sometimes i dont see it. i dont feel it or know it. i love him...i cant believe i would ever even think about hurting him...but i know i have and it breaks my heart inside. i wish i could be better for him. i wish i could be perfect just for him...but no one is. no one ever will be. i want to go to sleep at night feeling relaxed that tomorrow will be better...i love my job..and the kids i take care of...i love my son and my husband and my doggies and my home. but i dont love myself...i havent found myself. i dont love the mistakes i have made or the people i have hurt. but i guess no one said life was easy.
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