| {SCENE}: MAKING A CHOICE |
[12 Oct 2011|03:34pm] |
It appeared that even the joys of Hawaii couldn't sustain a good thing for too long.
It hadn't been salient yet, it hadn't been overt, and that was essentially Oscar's dilemma: should he say something and risk the tentative peace they had going, or just keep his mouth shut and hope that it was just another one of his companion's moods? If he were being honest, if he was unflinching in order to express how he truly felt, then he'd readily point out the fact that he was, at least partially, living out lyrics that Eminem had sang about - when it was going good, it was going great. And then when it wasn't? It was as if his entire world was crashing down before his eyes. He blamed himself, first and foremost. He was responsible more than Jeremy ever could be; he left Puerto Rico and when he found that the model was so much as willing to flash a smile at him, he placed his heart in the older man's hands. If he wanted to hold it, if he wanted to protect it from any possible harm, he could. He even acted that way at times. His jealously over someone the Puerto Rican might've liked, as well as his insistence that the Latino was adorably innocent even at times when he tried his damndest not to be, Jeremy, perhaps unsurprisingly, knew all the right things to say to wear his friend like a ring on his finger.
Oscar loved every minute of it. He looked forward to the kisses they shared whenever the inclination struck them and the banter they shared so easily was unrivaled as the highlight of each of his days. It was only when Jeremy decided to take the proverbial ring off that things changed. The Bayamon native thought he was used to it. Back in New York, they went through these shifts every once in awhile. Time would pass, Jeremy would need his distance. Oscar would grant it almost entirely without question. Eventually, Jeremy would come back around and Oscar would never think twice about greeting him with open arms. It was a theme of the bond they had, the promise formed of 'I'll always be there for you, I'll always forgive you.' Jeremy was really the only friend Oscar had, so what other option was there?
He never thought about an answer to that question. Even in their worst fights, he told himself he'd always be back at the American's doorstep… some romanticized notion that it was home or something.
As he watched Jeremy walk back into the hotel room they shared in Honolulu, there was no adoration in his dark orbs. If anything, there was only a dethatched question which greeted him at his entrance.
"Are you acting differently because you're worried we're getting too close again?" He said something, in part because he was tired of having to walk on eggshells. He was tired of being a trusty ring that Jeremy always found, no matter how many times he tossed it aside.
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