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[29 Jan 2008|12:20am]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | rocky horror - time warp ]

i feel like making a list today.

*rosemary all but told me [and the rest of the people working tonight] that i'm gonna become a shift supervisor. they were talking about kim becoming the next assistant manager once she gets her license and she said, "well, we definitely have our next shift supervisor in this room!" and looked right at me and kind of grinned. that's a really big thing to me, to be honest. i've only been working for KFC for about three months [paula hasn't even gotten her 90-day referral bonus about me yet!] and to be bumped up to the same position that nick's at is like... whoa. then again, he just kind of came in at the position he's in [and, apparently, he's supposed to get promoted, but mary didn't say anything about that] and i've worked my way up, so i think she's seen a lot more of my hard work and willingness to learn stuff than she did with him.

*you know a guy is worth keeping when he passes up duck hunting with his friends on the last day of the season to let you go back to his house and sleep next to him. in the last two weeks, i've stayed at nick's house about 5 or 6 times -- all of which, his mom knew about. i think she's a little more at ease with he and i being such good friends, but nick says she pretty much knows about me and him being together, which she doesn't like just because we work together. i can understand her disliking that, but really... i love the guy more than pretty much anybody knows, so i want to be with him more than anything. if i get this promotion, his mom, his step-dad, our bosses... nobody can say anything because he won't be my boss anymore. we'll be on the same level, and we can finally be more open about being together. and dammit, i want that more than anything.

*the myspace blog isn't working and i'm a little tired of that.

*payday is tomorrow and nick owes me a LOT of dinners. and movies. and drinks. he said that he feels bad that i've been paying for stuff lately [which i don't mind for the most part, but it gets a little tiring] and that he'll make it up to me, but he just hasn't had the money lately. i know he really appreciates what i do, i just want to feel like the girl now, thanks :p he said that he really should be financing the dinners and stuff, not me, and that he'll make it up to me. i believe him, i just don't know when he'll be able to do that since he's gotta pay for medicine and some medical bills and everything. i feel so bad for him sometimes -- he works really hard, but a lot of the time, he doesn't have much to show for it. i'm trying my best to be understanding, i really am. i wish he could see that i just want to spend time with him, whether or not he's paying for stuff .

*i am scheduled <b>40</b> hours next week. WTF. that's more than nick's scheduled. i'm a little scared, to be honest. i know they're going to be long shifts and kind of tiring, so i'm a little worried that i'm not going to get a lot of sleep. then again, i think rosemary's preparing me for promotion, so i guess it's OK? whatever.

i'm not really in a typing mood anymore... so later.

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[16 Jan 2008|01:27pm]
i'm just getting over the crud that i got saturday night/woke up with sunday morning,  but i think i gave it to nick :[ i feel bad about that, but hey, he can't call in sick since a) he's a manager and b) they'd be all "wtf, susan called in sick yesterday; why is nick calling in sick?" something tells me i need a new job. not because of where i work [although KFC isn't the most desirable place of employment], but because i'd much rather have nick and no job or a job somewhere else then the job at KFC but not be able to be more open about me and nick's relationship. that's the only problem with me and him right now -- that, despite how much we like each other [and it's a great deal on both our parts], we can't really start dating because, technically, i work for him. it wouldn't be so much of a problem if his step-dad, bill, didn't work for muy brands as an operations manager.  yeah, that's the one thing standing in our way right now. lame, right? two people who're both of age, relatively mature semi-adults can't date because of his DAD. well, step-dad. whatever. it's all the same.

we've become a lot closer lately. it's a little weird but awesome all at the same time -- i'm so not used to opening up to people about stuff, especially my feelings since i usually think that it'll just be better if i keep my damn mouth shut and don't try to complicate a situation. but with nick, he really makes an effort to pull me out of my shell, to get me to tell him what i'm thinking. frank never did that -- i would say "nevermind" and it would be done. but all nick wants from me is honesty, for me to tell him what i was going to say, no matter how much it might've hurt him or made me look bad. we've been pissed off at each other before, but still managed to let each other cool down and work it out. that's a big thing with him -- he told me from the beginning that we can fight and get mad at each other and not be afraid to hurt the other one's feelings as long as we're able to work it out. i LOVE that. i really do. i want someone who isn't afraid to tell me how it is, no matter whether it's good or bad. i NEED that kind of brutal honesty sometimes. i need the fun in my life that he's given me for almost the last year since i've known him [when i mentioned that we'd known each other almost a year the other day, he went, "holy shit, it's been that long?" yeah, we've known each other since last march... almost a year]. i need... him. the way he makes me feel, the things he does for me, the way he makes me laugh... all that shit. that's what i need.

:sigh: i'm such a softie.
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