So I won't ruin everyone's mood by announcing that it's James Potter's birthday today. So I guess it's as good of a time as ever to announce that Ian and I are getting a divorce. I figure it's better to come from one of us than hearing it in all the tabloids.

Wouldn't you lot have loved to hear that during the playoffs? Sorry, folks. Pretty sure he's getting custody of Katie, before you ask---

Today would have been my best friend's twenty-second birthday.

I don't know what's worse, having your entire memory warped or living through this. Somebody shoot me, please. Was that too muggle ugh I'd rather be a mu---

I'M HOSTING THE QUIDDITCH AUCTION ON FRIDAY

OOOOH BABY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

LILY ALICE GILLY!!!! We need to pool our money to get DRYSTAN FAWCETT the hottest guy out there!! AND WE'RE ALLOWED TO DO THAT BECAUSE WE ARE MARRIED.

Why haven't I pack-backed across Europe?

OH BY THE WAY HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY LILY!! YOU OLD LADY YOU!