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violet_lily ([info]violet_lily) wrote,
@ 2010-03-14 00:51:00

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Current location:Home
Current mood: unsure
Current music:Lauryn Hill-Killing me softly

"History lesson"

Isn't it scary how easily history can repeat itself...even when you thought you were the furthest thing from it? Well here I sit, pregnant and alone once again. I guess there is no one to blame but myself...some how I always seem to wind up alone,no matter what I do. If I'm a bitch I end up alone and If I'm a saint I still end up alone. I mean what am I doing wrong here? I was recently told by one of my boyfriends friends that I was selfish because I was taking his best friend from him and that I was just like his ex-wife. He said who is he gonna have around if my boyfriend isn't there for him. I replied with "what about me? What about his pregnant girlfriend? Am I suppose to have no one? Am I suppose to be alone?" He replied with "You have your mom,don't you?" I couldn't believe it...he wants me to give up my boyfriend and I mean I'm not trying to sound selfish by any means..I know what it's like to lose your best friend to there boyfriend or girlfriend,it's not fun. I just don't want to give up the only thing I have right now...I mean sure my mother is around but she doesn't replace the father of my unborn child. I couldn't believe he was calling me selfish. My boyfriend and I have had multiple talks about him moving in and I have constantly stressed that he could see his friends whenever he wants and how they are welcomed to come visit anytime as well. I'm not a friend nazi, I want him to go out and have fun..I too need nights out,so I understand completely. I must say though I'm tired of all the antics and friend hate. Since I've gotten pregnant I feel like I've been shunned...especially from any social activities,It's like "oh no shes pregnant,don't invite her!" I've only got one thing to say about that "Pregnant people need friends too!" I know it sound crazy but come on people. I dunno I try to think of myself as a pretty selfless person...especially when it comes to relationships. I've always been big on giving. I mean I'm sure there are times when I'm a little less glamorous,but I try to be selfless and always consider what my partner is thinking. I'm sure these extra hormones aren't helping by any means,but I don't think it's selfish to ask your boyfriend to move in with you when your pregnant and live an hour away especially when he promised to be at all the Dr.appts and birthing classes. Which right now I have some kind of appt almost every week and I'm the only one who has a car so I'm the one who has to drive an hour to pick him up because none of his so called "Selfless" friends can drive him. It just bugs me that he's out partying while I'm an hour away sitting at home pregnant...is that selfish? Anywho I guess I'm by myself on this one. I put the ball in his court,if he wants to be a part of this he knows where to find me...

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