| friends only |
[Sep. 30th, 2007|05:28 pm] |
Ooh I love this girl, she's a superstar
You can't change the world, you're a superstar. |
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[Sep. 27th, 2007|04:17 pm] |
"What do you mean you've never seen Rent? How could you have not seen Rent?!" Wilhelmina rolled her eyes exasperatedly and shook her head while her friend ranted on. Her constant banter on the said play was enough to drive someone insane, namely her. She knew it was a bad idea to bring up Rent. Anyone that had been a fan could go on and on about that damn play as if it was the greatest thing ever invented. And just as she assumed her friend was very much the same, speaking on and on without taking a breath as she spoke of Mimi and Roger. All she could do was stand there praying silently to herself that the line they were waiting for coffee in would speed up some. Unfortunately that wouldn't happen because as we all know when you want an escape it won't happen. Quietly she didn't reply to anything her friend had to say. Rather she listened on until she couldn't really take anymore of her never ending love fest of the play. "Karen really, you want to know why I've never seen Rent? Maybe it's because my husband just fucking left me and the only thing I could focus my attention on was my divorce. I'm sorry that dancing, singing, eye openers to the aids epidemic didn't tickle my fancy but I've learned everything they tried to make people aware of years ago on PBS. Not to mention....I hate musicals." Well if that certainly ended the conversation faster than she expected. She hadn't technically meant to snap at her but her imbalanced emotions flared at any given moment. That would happen to be one of them, making her instantly feel that faithful feeling of guilt. There was an impending apology in the back of her mind that she refrained from muttering. That apology wouldn't have meant much so she kept her mouth shut.
Dejected, she returned back to her apartment soon after with her head slightly hung low. The silence alone in her place added onto the looming cloud of depression that had been hanging over her head. It had been some time since she had been in a room filled with noise and the more she thought about it, the more she realized how alone she had been lately. Dropping her oversized brown Bergdof Goodman bag on the corner of her couch, she bypassed her most prized Wellesley degree, a picture of her smiling baby nephew, a picture of her grinning parents and small trinket she brought back from her amazing stay in Japan before heading off to her bedroom to change out of her clothes. Clad now in her Christmas pajamas her mother sent early, she headed off to her kitchen to make another cup of coffee. After the peculiar encounter back at Starbucks, the normally delightful cup of coffee she always looked forwards to having wasn't so good anymore. Making a cup of her own that she hoped would be more enjoyable, she sat down at the round table in her kitchen. The only noise that echoed through the room was that of her brewing machine. She wasn't sure what about it that summoned up memories but there she was unknowingly thinking of her past. That same sound woke her up early every morning before her husband headed out for work. He had been a caffeine fanatic, needing at least 2 black cups before 7 am. Often she'd offer to make him a cup but was told that she couldn't make a good cup to save her life. Never had her family been much on coffee. The youngest daughter of a chemist and an army Sargent, you would think coffee would be a staple in their home. Yet both of her parents despised the drink, finding one of a million reasons to why it wasn't good for the mind. It all accounted to her lack of coffee skills that showed off later in life. "Too watery" he'd always tell her which was the only reason why she went out of her way to master the perfect percolated beverage. Anything he wanted would be done, it was all she had been told by her mother to keep a man, especially a man of his status. however that wasn't the reason they were married. Despite the fact that he had everything a woman wanted, from the looks to the riches, she had fallen in love with him based solely on the personality he was blessed with. Quite possibly he was the only man that could tame her wild ways, the only man that could make her smile that wide, the only man that could make her gasp, the only man that could make her blush and above all the only man that made her blissfully happy. Never in a million years had she thought she'd find herself with what she thought was her soul mate and for that reason alone she'd do everything she could to keep him there by her side. Even if it meant spending morning after morning burning her hand on a pot to make coffee to his liking. Five years of marriage had went smoothly or as smoothly as she thought it had could in her mind. Some time after the honeymoon stage died down, it had been called to her attention that the man she thought was so perfect wasn't so perfect after all.
The scenario played out like a real life soap opera that she wished she wasn't a part of. His tears flowed like waterfalls the very night she came in after a long shift at the local newspaper she did freelance work for. Confused, she walked further into the room figuring that he had been crying over something else. What had he been crying over? The new of his mistress that was now pregnant with his baby. Well that one she hadn't expected, not in the least bit. Never had she thought the man of her dreams had been cheating on her, let alone having another woman pregnant. To say that her world crashed beneath her would be an understatement. She had been utterly lost on what to do. Her heart told her one thing differently than that of her mind. She listened to her heart, tried to stick it out and be there for him because the perfect wife that could make the best cup of coffee could be there through the hard times as well. Only that didn't work as well as she hoped. Constant fighting from how the addition of a child that didn't belong to her, the long nights he was out without telling her where he was going to the distance they now had made things hard. The fight to stay together had became some tougher than initally thought that a mutual separated was agreed upon. The choice alone made it even harder to find that semblance they once had. Now with even more space apart, reluctantly she agreed that there was nothing more they could do. A five year marriage was now down the drain. No longer was she that of a proud wife but a lonely empty soul. Gone were the mornings she woke earlier than what she had to make his cup of coffee or the nights she snuggled up close to his body. Gone were the dinners at that same kitchen table not long after he came in from work, gone was the love that once filled the spacious wing of his family's home.
Now she was adjusting to a life much different to one she had been accustomed to. Her relationships with friends strengthened, she became closer to her parents, found solice in the youngest member of their family despite the issues pertaining to children. She even found herself more dedicated to her job, a new job actually back home, the last place she ever envisioned she'd be. She even found herself more dedicated to her work. One thing she prided herself on more than anything was working at local newspaper writing about various topics as she pleased. It was an odd joy but one enough to help her get through the day. However the growing numbness she had felt since her divorce had yet to fully ease away. "All in time" she told herself, even if she didn't fully believe it herself. All in due time had in fact happened despite her disbelief. She had met a handful of amazing friends as well as this amazing man she was convinced had her heart. However the thought alone along with the increasing silence that had now filled the room left her in a trance. Somehow, someway her eyes turned towards to now finished pot of coffee. If only she wanted a cup....it had all been a waste to make now. Leaving the table, she turned away from the coffee and headed to the phone to call the very same friend she had let left. "Hey do you think you can come over with that DVD? The Rent one?" |
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