Self...How are you feeling?
Well, I feel as though I am confusing the hell out of myself while not really confusing myself at all. Just getting myself in deeper is all. Deeper in situations I really don't care to be in and then questioning my feelings later. Knowing what i shouldnt do but doing it anyway ...yeah that's where I am at right now.
I hate careing when people dont want you to care, then when you could give a fuck less they want to fucking bitch and moan about it....you either accept my feelings for what they are or go fuck yourself already!
I hate feeling like people are hiding things from me.
On another note, I just read James's away message. Last time we talked, he wasn't doing so good. His mum abandoned him and his family for a guy he sees using women at bars all the time but she wouldnt believe him so she smacked him instead. She will learn the hard way then i guess. Then he was going through old photos and became really depressed, I now know what they were of since I just saw his personal message on MSN.
"R.I.P. Dad" And then after that he wrote "I am dreaming about my lovely American wife, not long until I see you Nikki xxx" I am touched and really happy but sad at the same time for him because I know how hard it is on him when it comes to the death of his father, especially when his mom is being the way she is. Poor kid. :(
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