|Current mood:|| confused|
My Birthday Weekend
So this weekend was ultimately very fun and I was incredibly broke. Friday was the bachelorette party which I already talked about, Saturday was the Comedy club and Lucky's and Sunday was just a nice day that I spent with my ex (yes my EX) and had a good time then later met up with Tabby and friends at Hard Times.
It was a lot of fun, we had a lot of laughs, a lot of drinks, and a lot of good times but of COURSE my week has to start off really shitty and just kind of ruin the fun I had on the weekend. I don't want to get into it too much but I am tired of trying to prove something to someone who is always going to be blind to my efforts. I have a bad habit of throwing the bad things on the table when really im trying to make a point about something else...I need to work on that but still....I don't know why i keep trying.
I just feel bad for the guys who were really nice to me and told me they liked me and wanted to maybe date that I was flat out rude too, told them to eff off in nice and not so nice ways, and for not giving them the chances they deserved just because I was stuck on feelings I had for someone else. It's my fault because I can't control the way I feel or WHY I feel that way but now Im just sitting here wondering....what if I had given this person or that person a chance....is it too late? for the most part it is.
Is it a sign that I haven't talked to Matt in a long time and when i do I 99% of the time have to text him, but today when i pretty much got bullshit news from my ex and I was trying to figure out wtf just happened and wtf I should do that he called me? coincidently a minute after I was really upset? I like to believe that it is...but I just don't know exactly what that means....
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