I could kill you. Sunday 23.3.2008 @ 3:13am mood | cold How the hell are you going to invite someone over at 2am, tell them you will leave the door open for them, make them stop what they are doing to come over so fucking late in the freezing cold in a car that has no heat, make them waste their time and gas to go to your fucking house, and the door is locked and you aren't answering your phone? Nice. This is another reason why im gonna stop giving in. This is what i get for giving you what you want YET again. Thanks you asshole. 10Whisper{Into the wind}

Oh no, no no Saturday 22.3.2008 @ 4:38pm Some people are going to be in for a rude awakening. I am talking about a SERIOUS friends cut. I have been here at work doing some serious thinking. What I need and what I don't need in my life. The needs far surpass the wants so it will be fairly easy letting some of my so called friends go. You think im stupid? You, who always has an excuse for everything but no common sense or smarts to back any of it up. I am really tired of the takers. I am tired of being a giver. I am getting to old for this shit. I looked in the mirror a few minutes ago and I saw age in my face. I am being worn out from all this bullshit so I am not sacrificing myself, my health, my sanity, ANYTHING for anyone who won't do ANYTHING for me. This is a give and take relationship never a take-take so get a fucking clue. I am tired of when i care, you bitch and get an attitude well then fuck, since its clear you dont want me to give a fuck i wont anymore. Go fuck yourself silly, go shoot up until you od, do whatever whenever but just NEVER again with me. I dont give a fuck anymore. This is not what i want or need and so some of these fuckers i call friends are OUT. You'd be surprised who some of you are. Haha fuck you. 12Whisper{Into the wind}

FUCK YOU Friday 21.3.2008 @ 6:39pm mood | pissed off God I am SO sick of everyone's shit! I do SO much for everyone and everything in every fucking aspect in my life and I get NOTHING in return, nothing GOOD anyway. I get called names, I get cheated on, I get talked down to im just so fucking tired of dealing with people who I KNOW are fucking not worth my time or energy OR KINDNESS. Im honest, so Im a bitch. I'm not fucking you, so I'm a whore. I don't take your shit so I'm trash. Do I have to hang myself before anyone really gives a fucking shit? I have tons of "friends" but NONE of them are the kind I can turn to anymore. I have NONE of those and everytime I get one...JUST ONE someone takes them away from me. IM SO SICK OF IT I COULD JUST DIE. In fact i wish i WOULD just die. what the fuck! My friends all are too wrapped up in their own lives to make time to give a fuck about anyone else but when they need someone I am supposed to be there. No one REALLY cares anymore. New people I meet give a fuck for a while, then they stop caring too. Matt was my only real friend. Someone I could cry to, talk to, and he was there for me.... and now, though he still cares, is barely a friend anymore because of his ex. People are rotten. They are liars, cruel, fucked up. I just want someone to hang out with me for an hour at the mall. I want someone I can call up and tell them about something that happened. I want someoen who will go with me to Old town for 30 minutes to enjoy the sunlight, fresh air and people. I want someone to fucking give a fuck. I'm sick to death over all of this shit. When I cry, where are any of you? When you bitch about shit I am there for you and listening and truly give a fuck but I get NOTHING in return when I REALLY need a friend so fuck you. Fuck all of you. 18Whisper{Into the wind}

Before i pass out... Tuesday 18.3.2008 @ 3:57am mood | tired Tonight was fucking fun as hell. Lori aka O'Leery, Tabby aka Flannigan, Rudy aka O'baby McShady, Apollo Ohno Jr aka McNasty, Arthur aka Murphy, Vince aka O'Malley, Sean aka McAfee, Charlie aka O'Connor, Abernathy, McLovin, Cornish, McGinnis, McDougal, and so on were allll decked out in the GREENEST BS ever. Like we LITERALLY looked like fucking clowns but it was fun as hell. lots of people were in hats and had some green but no one outdid us lol they NEVER do. i can honestly say we were the crowds entertainment. Everone was getting drunk, beating everyone up Irish fisticuffs style, playing pool, getting MORE drunk, etc but surprisingly I think because of drinking so much for 4 days b4 tonight, I was sober. I had 3 drinks and called it quits and we were there for 6 1/2 hours. I feel great! EVERYONE we knew was there. EVERYONE in the city was there lol. I even saw Vince aka Brock Sampson aka O'Malley (tonight only) tonight. It was great cuz I really missed him. I love his humor. Rudy gave me the best Massage ever while we waited on Flannigan and McAfee to finish bullshitting around so we could dip. It was a great time. My Irish name for the evening was O'Brian. On a different note, Our Friend Pablo did this of me: He is a professional photographer for the military. This was only an edit, his photographs are phenominal. 5Whisper{Into the wind}

Eh Monday 17.3.2008 @ 5:08pm mood | blah I haven't felt up to updating recently but I feel I have things to actually write about. 1. I have an opportunity to be a business owner but the question is, do i WANT to own THAT business? The answer is NO but It will give me so much more in life and LOTS more money at LEAST 20g's more than what I make right now. 2. Been partying a LOT lately. Went out Thursday night to Hardtimes, goooood time. Friday we went to Hardtimes, Saturday Qball, Sunday we went to Bennigans with our friends and dressed like the Irish Circus. It was HILARIOUS and fun. LOTS of good pics to post later. Then we went to Lucky's after but it was just 5 of us who partied after the dinner. Tonight we will be going to Hardtimes again in our ridiculous St.Patty's Day gear. It's gonna get stupid! lol 3. I decided to forget about Matt. Get over him you know? It's like we are friends, but not like we used to be and i REALLY blame his ex for that. I will always be his friend but i was like....whatever he really doesn't make any attempt to talk to me anymore unless I am already in NJ in which he tries REALLY hard to see me (which is surprising) but get this.... I was thinking this last night....just let it all go and then at 5:45am....yes BEFORE DAWN he texts me...we were talking back and forth for a while and i finally was able to fall back asleep around 8am. I was shocked it was him to be honest and so i thought "Is this a sign or something?" So I guess i won't give up just yet. 4. Next month is gonna be super ridiculous for me. My birthday is next month, Mike's Bday is next month, Kyle and Colleen's Wedding is next month, OTHER Mike is coming back from Italy, and Starscream will be here for a day on the 16th. It's gonna be a busy month for me. I am mostly looking forward to the wedding. I am SO excited about it. I caught a glimpse of Colleen in her wedding gown in a pic she showed me yesterday at dinner and she was SO beautiful in it. Her hair was really lovely. Anyway im off for now. I will have pics and such from the last few days up by the end of the week i think but Tabby's pics (the better ones) are on a disposable cam so those will come later. BOO >:[ 6Whisper{Into the wind}

IM BACK Thursday 13.3.2008 @ 3:05pm And hating it. So before I left on Friday, we had been without internet and phone service at the house since wed. Tell me why I got back on Tues night and everything was STILL out....still is and it's Thursday...a fucking week without service. im tired of fucking calling the Cox assholes and wasting my time with them on the phone so they can "pretend" to come out. NJ was fucking fun as hell. We met some new people (no one I would keep as friends but they were cool to hang out with for a night) we had our guy friends dress in Tabby's lingerie LOL they WANTED to do it too it was funny. We ate at the Crab's Claw...best food ever. Saw Forrest and went out with him for a little bit to meet his friends, hung out with Matt back at HQ for a while then the next day at a skate park. Had my very first porkroll everyone kept telling me about and it wasnt as good as I thought it'd be, and learned that there are whales and seals at the Jersey shore at sunrise in the winter....wtf! Got to see my brother, his wife and the kids, so yep, it was fun and a great time. It's nice to get away. I have lots of pics and video but i wont upload that stuff till the net is fixed at home. I REALLY want to live there. it's a different feeling when you are close to people to really love. The only family I have here besides my dad is my shitacular evil sister. NOT FUN. Enough for this crappy update. It sucks to be back! 4Whisper{Into the wind}

Go speed racer GO! Friday 7.3.2008 @ 1:06pm So 2 days ago a tornado blew through here tho we werent hit or anything we were outside of it, the wind and rain were bad though. But ever since then the phone and cable at my house have been out. I am at work now writing this and im kind of pissed cuz No one at home will know wtf to do when the cable guy gets there even though I left instructions so watch when i get back from NJ on Tuesday Night, the shit will STILL be out. In any case, I am waiting for Tabby to get here so we can head out to NJ :) im excited we have a couple friends coming up to hang out for a day or 2 as well so YAY. I hope I get to see Matt, and i hope Suhail can stay tonight. I just hope the guy running the show in the lobby isnt a prick. I have had really good luck with the people who work at this hotel being really nice and making friends with them, lets hope its the same this time. Also, Krystal is going to be here soo :D Im excited about that cuz I havent seen her since Summer and i REALLLLLLY miss her. We have huge st.patty's day plans again this year. We are bringing the Irish circus everywhere we go! People are getting used to and anticipating the tradition now, Everyone is calling and asking about it lol CANT WAIT. Well tty all on Wednesday! 7Whisper{Into the wind}

ALRIGHT EXPLOADER! Wednesday 5.3.2008 @ 12:13pm I am so excited, and happy, and RELIEVED! I thought I was going to have to suffer going to NJ this weekend without being able to play my ipod in the car because the cig lighter isn't working and i dont have time to mess around with fuses since I have to work and change my oil and pack and such. Well i forgot that EXPLOADERS have another adapter on the passenger's side! YES! Annnnnnd im off to work again. 4Whisper{Into the wind}

Tuesday 4.3.2008 @ 10:00pm I WANT A FUCKING BF 9Whisper{Into the wind}

It's still winter you know. Tuesday 4.3.2008 @ 3:50pm So why is it 72 degrees? LOL not complaining but I love my winters :( Yesturday and today were really nice days. I wanted to skateboard yest but ended up being too tired. Today I could but I still need to get my face on, take mini to the petstore, and idk....procrastinating. I guess the longer I allow my ankle to heal the better anyway. eh I might just go to oldtown and bring Mini and skate there. Im off for now. 2Whisper{Into the wind}

New Layout Monday 3.3.2008 @ 10:26pm Yep that's right. I just put up a new layout. Im tired now so Im going to bed 16Whisper{Into the wind}

:p Monday 3.3.2008 @ 1:25pm mood | drained I have been so emo lately, im really sorry everyone haha. Man I drank too much last night. Didn't go to work today, Im tired as FUCK right now and want to pass out but i have SO much I wanted to do today...wait i have off tomorrow...sweet i will do it tomorrow then. It's my dads bday today we are taking him out to dinner. I am NJ bound this weekend. Leaving after work Friday and I won't be home till Tuesday night. I think Sunday or Monday we will be going to Atlantic City with Forrest. Quite possibly Suhail and his mum too (lol i know i cant just take su there without his mom, she LOVES AC) I cant wait to get away! 9Whisper{Into the wind}

No work for me! Monday 3.3.2008 @ 3:44am mood | determined I partied too hard tonight. Went to Lucky's which sucked, then hardtimes which was fun as usual but empty then to some fucking bar in DC for a bartending competition. I am drunk and tired and dealing with drama right now so I will call in sick tomorrow at work. I hate Mondays anyway. I am excited to see Forrest next weekend. He was psyched to knwo I was coming up and said we will go to AC over the weekend since he has free hotel room rentals he needs to use up...i text Matt about it but didnt hear SHIT from him...kind of made me mad but whatever. Tomorrow I will work on my website and a new layout for Scribbld since im sick of this one i have now. Other then that I am going to talk to James about Moving to England and then I will spend my time thinking about good bf candidates. I am due for a bf. i am ready and WANT one. 4Whisper{Into the wind}

The Big Suck Sunday 2.3.2008 @ 8:40pm mood | annoyed Well, band practice sucked straight bullshit tonight. First time doing practice again for over amonth and Tabby makes us 2 hours late, has a bad attitude the entire time, refuses to play 95% of what we were playing and was a complete bitch to the lead guitarist. He messed up while playing drums once and she got on his nuts and he apologized for it but she went on and on and on and made it really uncomfortable for us to play on. They started yelling at eachother and I thought he was going to drop his shit and punch her in the face. He walked out on us 3 times to cool off. She ruined the mood, and ruined practice. As long as she is in the band being a bitch and always needing her way, we will not get anywhere. Tonight was an ultimate failure. I am now going to go out to Lucky's, Hardtime's and who knows where else to get shit faced. Dueces. 7Whisper{Into the wind}

I have said this before, I know. Sunday 2.3.2008 @ 2:34am mood | depressed I just had a breakdown. I just can't do this anymore. I am literally losing everyone I care about for one reason or another. none of them are GOOD reasons either. Most of them are people I love or have loved in the past. I was in love with Matt tho he never knew, he was young and didnt understand what was behind my actions and words....he thought i just liked him and i could never come out and tell him i loved him cuz I knew in the back of my mind he had a string attached to someone else. I was right in the end and now we dont talk unless i initiate the conversation and the feelings of friendship arent really even there anymore. I miss him so much as a friend that it hurts. He used to text me every day. I wanted to e-mail him and tell him about it but I am not sure if he is with his ex or not and I dont want him to be between a rock and a hard place because I was too chicken to tell him when I had a chance how I really felt about him. I wont be able to chill with chris anymore. He is like the only real friend I have now days to hang out with, dick around with, joke around and shoot the shit with. I WANTED to see if I could be friends with my ex...yes most of you know him as...well...bad things and bad words lol and rightfully so but I cant mentally do that anymore. I break down when I think about our past. I cant move forward with anyone because of the feelings i still have for people in the past...because I hold onto the idea of hope for us. Like Garm.... He has professed to me how much he likes me and how before he met me he dreamt of the perfect girl and it was me. Im not perfect but he loves to think so. Umbra from last night keeps asking me to go out. All of these people are really nice but I just cant fucking do it. I dont know why its like my heart has planted its foot in the ground and refuses to let me go through boot camp again.... im fucked up....i dont know how to fix myself. 11Whisper{Into the wind}

Bound - Betty Page tribute Friday 29.2.2008 @ 11:45am mood | blah Well tonight is the Betty Page tribute and originally I wasn't going to go but a few friends called and said I should because I could probably win the contest. Me and Tabby are going to go early to Felix (Where bound is hosted) and help promote for a while before partying. I haven't been to bound in ages. On my way to work i was remembering how Matt and Ryan went and they were talking about how different it was for them and how cool and fun it was though it felt unreal, like the movies. I miss them. I really want a boyfriend. 5Whisper{Into the wind}

What to do Thursday 28.2.2008 @ 1:51pm mood | crappy I should seriously just say "fuck it" and start new with EVERYTHING. All my so called friends, my job, the state I live in, etc. Cuz what im doing right now, it just isn't fucking working for me. In other news, today is my day off and I have shit to do. I WOULD get dressed and go to the mall or something but I honestly don't want to. I miss having people who would be able to go with me some places. I do EVERYTHING alone now days. I was contemplating just staying in bed ALL day until LOST comes on tonight but I already got a headache from sleeping too much so I'll pass...just stay up and do DICK all day. 15Whisper{Into the wind}

James Wednesday 27.2.2008 @ 2:13pm mood | flirty So I was an hour and a half late for work today. I was taking my time and just felt lazy, didn't want to go in but i need the money so i just went in late. I got on MSN which I have been having trouble signing onto lately and James signs on about 15 min after I do. I haven't spoken to him in ages. He told me he missed me too much and that he hopes im on every night he gets on and im not and it makes him sick to his stomach to not be able to talk to me. I'd like to believe his feelings are real but when someone is that far away you can't ever REALLY tell. Well he was like "You know, I love you with all of my heart but you wouldn't believe me no matter what I say and do but I wanted to get that off my chest, it sucks when so much time goes by and i can't see or talk to you" I got butterflies in my stomach. I started getting all nervous and anxious lol, felt like a highschool girl all over again talking to her crush haha it was a wonderful feeling. Then he asked me in all seriousness "Nikki, move to England. I have my own place and want you to be with me." I REALLY got all redicuulously shy and butterflied up with that. I told him I have no passport, am terrified of planes, and can't believe he is serious. So he was like "Give me your phone number, I will tell you how dead serious I am over the phone. Besides I need your number anyway for when I get to the states" It's so nice hearing something like that from someone you really like. It makes me happy but sad at the same time cuz I can't bank my hopes and dreams on what he says. I need to FEEL it. I need him to be IN FRONT OF ME and prove it. I have been let down too many times to just blindly fall for this kind of thing. 9Whisper{Into the wind}

Lately... Wednesday 27.2.2008 @ 2:11am mood | stressed I have been starting to feel like nothing is ever going to work out. My life in general is fucked in one way or another. I am constantly in fear of my father dying ever since my mother died which is why i refuse to leave his house. I have been aggitated with him lately and rude because ever since his back surgery last month, the medicine he takes has made him forget so many things and he talks so damned much and he interrupts everything and says the most off the wall shit....thats how my mom was before she died. Other than that, all my friends are thinning out. Guys who like me, I dont like back in that way. Guys I like, are taken, fucked up, too far, or not serious about their feelings with me. The band i am in has big plans but no one can ever work out a practice schedule and we have a show to do in APRIL that we are NOT going to be ready for. I want to go to NJ but i know I WONT because of my feelings for Matt. I just want to cry it all out but it will be a waste since I know in 24 hours i will still feel the exact same. 6Whisper{Into the wind}

So long....Sucker Monday 25.2.2008 @ 4:26pm mood | discontent Well once again, mark had one of his FRIENDS ask me why I didn't show up last night. Sure I got texts from him telling me where he'd be and what times but it was a mass text for everyone in his phone book so it wasn't a personal invite though i know he wanted me to go. The thing is I didn't care enough to go nor did i want to go out so if he personally said, "Nkki, i want you to go." I would have showed up for an hour or something but he didn't so i said fuck it, it's his last day and I don't care enough to go if he doesn't care enough to fucking call sicne he said he CARED so much before. Also Chris stopped by today, with NO STABUCKS AGAIN lol but he says he is leaving in exactly 2 weeks. That kind of sucks cuz he was a good friend to me. I have a lot of friends sure but i only really hang out with a couple and he was one of them so with him moving to Costa Rica.... gonna suck for me. Guess he stopped by to tell me i have to hang with him more in the next 2 weeks. That fucking sucks, I dont want him to go even though i never tell him that but even if i did, it wouldn't matter. 19Whisper{Into the wind}

Slacking Sunday 24.2.2008 @ 6:48pm mood | sad I been falling behind on the updating of the 365 thing. Rock of Love 2 comes on tonight :) And tonight is Mark's last night here but you know what? who cares....He hasn't called or texed me and thats fine but to have his other friends text me to invite me to your going away party is just cruddy, i told his friends he better have lost his fingers or something cuz if he isnt inviting me himself then im not going. In other news, I was going through old text messages to clear out some space and I saw all of these really old nice texts from Matt and it made me incredibly sad. I feel like I lost him as a friend because of his whole ex gf issue....its his life so i never stepped up and interfered with that subject but its killing me. I text him when I pulled myself together and he immediately texted me back and he seemed like he wanted to talk to me and it made me happy but then again, he used to be the one to text me all the time out of the blue....i dont get a hi from him or anything anymore....I just want my friend back. Also I haven't talked to James much lately, that makes me sad too because i feel like we are really drifting apart as well. When i do catch him, he is really busy or I am and we make our convos short. I don't think he likes me as much as he used to. One of the biggest reasons i dont want to go to NJ is because i dont think Matt will hang out with me, and if he does it will be akward or different....he wont stay the night, we wont be close...i can just tell. In any case, life goes on. 8Whisper{Into the wind}

BORING Friday 22.2.2008 @ 8:36pm mood | hopeful I finally got all of my old Project 365 stuff over at the new one. (project365 Tomorrow I will be posting pics from NJ over the summer and then I will start posting recent pics :) The weather has been so shitty. I wanted to go to NJ this month but that doesnt look like its gonna happen. Actually no I have money in the bank and money coming to me on monday so maybe it WILL happen :o In any case i want to get the fuck out of here for a while. I need to see Matt, even if he has a gf....I just want to see him for a minute and I will be fine. 52Whisper{Into the wind}

My Project 365 journal Thursday 21.2.2008 @ 12:56pm mood | artistic If anyone is interested, I made a seperate 365 journal for project365 and that is zelly365. Add it if you're interested :D 1Whisper{Into the wind}

nkmJKSDFNDJKFNDEJ!!! FUUUUCK Wednesday 20.2.2008 @ 7:58pm mood | pissed off So i get home at 7pm. I walk inside the house and don't see my dog. The lady on the couch doesn't have her with her outside while she is smoking and I notice my dad was just pulling up behind me. I figured she was with him. Well he comes inside and I go to see Mini (my dog) and she is not there. I ask my dad where Mini is and he goes "She ran down the road. Some guy told me where he saw her and took me to where she was but when I got there she wasn't there but I am going to get a coat on and try again." Well Mini has ran out the door many mnay times but she always only goes next door cuz the neighbor has a lot of cats she likes to play with. Well I go next door, she is not there, I walk to the end of my court and don't see her. I call for her...nothing. This has never happened before. Mini loves me, whenever I call her even when she knows she will get in trouble, she runs right back to me so I go inside and my dad is like "I will go look for her now she was in the next court over." While he was taking forever and a day to go look, I didnt want to waste time so i ran back out the door to the next court over. After calling for her and walking between yards and not finding her I started to freak out. 'What if she got hurt by a cat' (She is little and the cats here are vicious. 'What if somenoe stole her?' She is cute as hell so ANYONE would want her HOWEVER she neevr lets strangers go near her without running away and she is fast as shit but still I freaked out. I go back inside and my dad is like "NO luck?" and im like....-glare- NO...NO FUCKING LUCK....WHY R U STILL EHRE AND NOT OUTSIDE LOOKING FOR HER? YOU ARE THE ONE WHO LET HER RUN OUT WITHOUT A LEASH...." Then we got into a cursing match and I was like "WHY THE FUCK ARE U WASTING TIME YELLING AT ME WHEN U CAN BE OUTSIDE LOOKING FOR HER? We dont need ANYMORE time to go by.... We r NEVER gonna find her!!" Then he goes...well she has been gone since 3:30....Are u fucking serious!? 3 fucking 30? See now I was under the impression she was only gone for a few minutes but she was gone for about 4 hours. It's damn near 8 at this point and i start crying and REALLY freaking out yelling about how we arent gonna find her NOW, she will never come back if she hasn't already. SO My dad keeps going on and on and I tell him to stay the fuck inside and do nothing then i will get her. Determined as fuck i walk 3 blocks and decide to go into a court and there she was. Cold, wet, shaking and terrified. She wasn't sure if it was me but she came to me and I walked her home, threw her in the shower, dried her up, and locked her in her kennel. I now know what it feels like to be a worried mother looking for your child and let me just say.... i feel bad for doing that shit to my parents when i was younger lol....but fuck i was so scared. 18Whisper{Into the wind}

Project 365 is back! Tuesday 19.2.2008 @ 5:58am mood | awake Was anyone familiar with Project 365 on GJ or PHOTOJOJO where the GJ community got the idea? Well I made it for Scribbld since I know a lot of you are artists when it comes to photography and even if you aren't, so many of you take pictures regularly, this will give you a place to store them and make new friends :) You don't have to join if you don't want to of course but I just figured i'd put it out there that in case you want to give the project a try you can check it out and for those who had an account on GJ, you can now participate in it over here too :) 11Whisper{Into the wind}

Monday 18.2.2008 @ 11:32am mood | relieved When: Friday night Where: Hardtimes What: Drunk as fuck & a knife fight. We got to Hardtimes (me and my sis) she stopped drinking months ago and she said tonight was the night she was gonna drink a little. She gets shit faced, I get shit faced. All our friends show up, we are having good times HOWEVER, Tabby wanted to leave and she took my keys, Our friend went with her and told me not to worry, he'd take her home along with our other friend Ronnie. I stay till the place closes and Jean offers me a ride home, John does, and so does Meaghan. Either way I was being responsable and had sober rides home. I end up leaving around 2:15am and 4am comes around and Tabby apparently was still at Hardtimes looking for me in the parkinglot and calling everyone she knew to find me. 3 guys come out of nowhere and start harassing her and she tells them to go fuck themselves. Thing is, you don't fuck with Tabby. She is pretty yes, she is a girl yes, she was dressed up yes, but it's TABBY. She is LUCIFER in the flesh. So they pull out knives and she laughs and pulls hers out screaming "What you think just cuz im a girl I won't cut a mother fucker? You think im just gonna sit here and play the victim u have NO idea who ur fucking with." So one guy goes to cut her and gashes her hand open and she stabs him in the leg. the thing is she was with those guys...but they weren't aware of what was going on. Ronnie stayed in the car and freaked out, his friend he was with straight got out and ran, and then the SMALLEST guy who she just met came out of nowhere and started cursing at them in spanish (they were spanish too) and he threatened them and they ended up running as too much attention was being brought to them now. Long story short, you don't fuck with my sister. 12Whisper{Into the wind}

Valentine's Day Thursday 14.2.2008 @ 10:25pm mood | content Well even though I was asked to go out tonight by 3 people during the week I knew what i WANTED to do since A. I am not really dating anyone and didn't feel like getting into the spiri, B. I don't care about Vday even when I DO have a bf or gf, and C. I have priorities i need to take care of. I spent the day blasting good music, cleaning the fuck out of my room, and watched one of the BEST episodes of Lost EVER. Happy? YES. Could tonight have been better if I had gone out? FUCK NO. I liked my plan even though i hate cleaning. Anywho, hope you guys had a wonderful day. Oh and i found what i think are the CYBERsex (the theme was CYBER and since it's Bound they incorporate SEX in it sicne it's a BDSM club) photos on a disposable cam i can get developed and see along with my old digital cam i found,got to work, and pulled old pics off of :) ( too bad there are only 2 pics ) 11Whisper{Into the wind}

OMFG! Tuesday 12.2.2008 @ 10:11pm mood | surprised HOLY SHIT! Mini is barking her ass off, I go to the door to see what was going on and Suhail is standing at the door. IM SO FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW! I am so surprised. He is my best friend from Jersey, he just popped up! omfg im so excited! 8Whisper{Into the wind}

Ain't SHIT going on Tuesday 12.2.2008 @ 5:21pm mood | bored I don't have much to talk about. I am expecting things in the mail I haven't gotten yet, bummer. I had really great sex last night, I FINALLY went to the laundry mat to do my clothes (yes i have a machine at home but no one knows how much shit i have left laying around without washing in MONTHS) so I went there to do it. I am slowly but surely cleaning my room, tho everyone knows damn well I try to get Chris to come over and do it lol even my dad made a comment to Tabby today saying "I heard your sister was attacking her room..... normally she gets poor Chris to go over and do it for her" LMFAO I actually DID call him but he didn't answer XD im horrible. Oh and I am not voting. Today is our voting day but I don't care TOO much about any of the candidates. I know who I WOULD vote for if i wanted to fight traffic and get stuck in a 3 hour voting line but I decided im not 100% on it so im not gonna bother. Other than that *high fives skwigelf for making the TOP 5!~ HOLLA AT ALLAH 7Whisper{Into the wind}

Ew mark Sunday 10.2.2008 @ 12:19am mood | annoyed I don't know what Mark's deal is but he is def being an effin royal pain in the ass. First (many months ago) We try to make plans to hang out and nothing works for a month so he deletes my number. understandable as I would do the same if i felt i was wasting my time. We find eachother again and he takes my number again. He tells me after another month of not hanging out he wants to delete my number but he will give me the benefit of a doubt. We finally hang out and we hit it off, we get along fine and blah blah blah etc etc. Now that I have actually tried to make time for him and I texted him 2 or 3 times a week to see what he's up to cuz im free, he is always doing something and that's totally fine but he is the type of person who will still try to say I havent been trying so tonight I told him, "look it's cool ur busy but ur gonna have to stop saying i am not trying hard enough cuz now u see i actually have tried and now u r too busy..." He thought I was mad and I wasn't I just said not to say i didn't try this time around so then he goes"If you are looking for someone to go out with call john, he is looking to go out" EW....I HAVE johns number, if i WANTED to hang wioth John id call him but i didn't i asked HIM what he was doing and i told him all of this so he goes, "ok i just got a new tattoo done and im spent but where are you going? I will go cuz ur my favorite" I replied with a "oh please, give me a fucking break, no it's cool...dont want you to over exert yourself or hang out cuz u feel u have to im not really in the mood to go out, i was just seeing what u were up to" and I told him "im gonna go practice our songs on bass ttyl" , he replies with "probably not" UGH.....so I of course sent him a text saying "ok then probably not" I mean really i dont have time to play games with him or anyone else so if they wanna go that route i will make it easy for them. I know what he wants tho...he wants me to keep asking him to hang out and he wants me to be on his nuts like every other girl well he got the wrong bitch cuz i dont do that shit. 12Whisper{Into the wind}

;___; how sweet Friday 8.2.2008 @ 7:55pm mood | loved I haven't talked to Matt in a long time. He texted me to tell me he got a dog the other day. We e-mailed eachother but it wasn't the same. I know we BOTH know we are growing distant....It has been killing me since we used to talk to eachother one way or another every SINGLE day for about 3 months if not longer then suddenly *POOF* it's like we are strangers now. I try not to let it get to me but it really does get to me. I try to keep it off my mind by thinking about positive things. I just wanted something....I wanted for the longest time to know he still cared about me. Well I got a text saying "Check your e-mail when you can" from him. I was more nervous than anything, thinking he was going to finally tell me "That's it, I made my choice, I can't talk to you anymore." Or something along those lines but what I got instead was something that moved me to tears, it's as if he was reading my mind. We have always had this weird connection going on but this really made me happy. It's so perfect for him to have given this song out of everything he could have given me cuz one I always liked that song, 2 its a very innocent song, and 3 it's a young song you know? like highschool sweetheart song. He has been going through things with his ex. He never had closure and isn't sure how he feels anymore but wasn't sure about giving her another chance and i want him to be happy, I gave him his space and told him to just go for it. He told me he still wasn't sure but in this e-mail All i got was "This is for you. I think about you when I hear it and i dedicate it to you, from me. No matter what happens, I want you to know I still care, i always will have a special place in my heart for you." That was really BIG of him to say since i know its always been hard for him to come out and just tell me how he feels sometimes. This is all i needed. Now no matter what happens, I will be happy. (it only plays 30 seconds of the song in firefox but all in IE...wtf) Click to hear the song ( LYRICS BEHIND CUT ) 5Whisper{Into the wind}

W00T! Thursday 7.2.2008 @ 8:39pm mood | cheerful Today I went on a shopping spreeeeeeee. I haven't been able to buy myself any clothes in a couple years cuz I was always too afraid to spend he money when i know I would need it for something else. I'm excited because I have new stuff for work :D It's all really nice stuff, no t-shirts, no jeans. Lost is on ewhdnbwehfbfhwefh!!!!! YES! FUUUCKKKING CANT WAIT! Right now last week's episode is airing but afterwards is the new one. A 100 MPG CAR!? WTF!!!! NICE! I wish all cars were like that! Too bad this car is fucking ugly as fuck. And probably costs a million dollars lol. In other news, I took pics with my shitty webcam since a few people asked me to take pics but I can't normally cuz I don't have a fucking digi cam or other type of cam then i realized my webcam takes them but they are pretty shitty quality and small, anyway Here i am :D     PS. Yes, the room is a fucking mess. 24Whisper{Into the wind}

Nosey Thursday 7.2.2008 @ 2:25pm mood | pissed off EW people are too fucking nosey for their own good. Makes me feel like I am not allowed to have a fucking personal life without their fucking comments all the damned time. Fuck off already! {Into the wind}

Lizard Lounge Sunday 3.2.2008 @ 8:39pm mood | cranky Last night was fun. Went to the Lizard Lounge to see Marco's band play. We were meeting up with Arthur, Amend, and Lori and later Octavia, Styx, and Ashley were gonna show up. Well the place sucked at first so we went to Murphy's down the street and listneed to an irish folk band play music along with drunken Irish people singing and dancing until midnight when Marco's band played. Octavia, Ashley and Styx were there and Kyle and Colleen were there too. It was really fun, the band was good, we had our friends there, we were getting drunk, it was hilarious. Octavia would shout at the band when it got quiet and Styx kept saying he was gay for Marco even tho he doesn't know Marco lol. We were leaving and I walk upstairs to see Styx grinding on Arthur as a joke I was cracking up. I love Arthur he never gives a fuck who grinds on him, guy or girl and it suprised me with Styx cuz he is STRAIGHT as hell, but he knows how to have fun. Went to College Park afterwards with lori, Amend, and Arthur. We actually TRIED to stay up but we were all so tired by the time we got there that me, Amend, and Matt (the other guy who lives there) watched about 5 min of a gay ass keanu Reeves Movie b4 i told them it sucked and I was tired and everyone went to their rooms to go to bed and I crashed on the couch, only to be woken up at dawn to the OTHER roomate, NIKO and his gf blasting music in the shower and singing....lol wtf ugh. Anyway it was a good time. And Everyone was blowing up my phone today about the fucking SUPERBOWL. I dont givea flying fuck about the superbowl. 11Whisper{Into the wind}

Join Post Secret Saturday 2.2.2008 @ 4:22pm mood | curious It's a really neat anon community. it's a great way to let go on your inner demons and tell a secret to the world you have kept for too long and always wanted to tell someone but never did. 5Whisper{Into the wind}

Wrap your arms around me Saturday 2.2.2008 @ 12:38am mood | depressed I hate sleeping alone now. I miss being able to sleep next to someone. Matt spoiled me with that. I haven't had that in so long then he came along and we would lay down in the same bed and talk till we both fell asleep and wake up spooning or cuddling haha fuck. I like the warmth of someone's arms around me, their body pressed against mine or just knowing that someone is there..... it's comforting. Going to bed alone depresses me. 8Whisper{Into the wind}

James, a wedding and other stuff Friday 1.2.2008 @ 5:23pm mood | hopeful finally got the official wedding invitation to Kyle and colleen's wedding. It made me so happy and emo all at once lol. Im so happy cuz they are getting married and it's an actual wedding and not a fucked up whoops u got pregs so now i gotta marry u type deals like so many other people. I am so happy for them and proud of them. Looks like im goin to Philly! And we are staying in NJ haha sweet. Good times, can't wait and it's 6 days after my bday so maye we can make it a week long event and party in Nj haha. In other news, I have rediculous icons i need to put up lol i did them for fun a long time ago i hope no one gets offended, it was helping me pass the time at work a year back. James and I were talking yesturday and he told me he is sure he wants to live in America but he's not sure how to do it. I gave him some advice and since he will be with freinds it shouldn't be hard and he wont be alone. He said he will come a month before his mates so spend time with me and see how things go with us and then he will head to NY to meet his friends and possibly start a life there. Now im happy as fuck and excited but at the same time i see myself only setting myself up. I will end up really liking him because well i already do and then he will leave me.... thats gonna hurt and suck all at once and i dont wanna go thru that but at the same time i have been dying to see him....wtf do i do? Carole says he might like me so much he might just stay.....I hope you're right C-tot. 4Whisper{Into the wind}

Monday 28.1.2008 @ 11:02pm mood | okay So I pretty much have gotten over Matt. Not like I wanted to or anything but I have no fuckin choice. Gotta let him go and do his thing and face the facts because that's all I can do. I am going to NJ next month, Feb is my NJ month but I don't think I'll see him which really bums me out. I can't even believe as good of friends as we were, that it kind of just stopped. I texted him last night and asked how he was doing and he said he was ahppy to hear from me, said he was good and asked about me. I didn't tell him about NJ, I don't think he will be ble to see me anyway. Oh well at least Suhail and Forrest will be there to cheer me up haha they are the funniest guys I know. Also, this guy I met a while ago at Malik's here in Springfield when it was the manager of Hardtime's birthday...well he liked me we exchanged numbers a long time ago and he called me like twice but deleted my number about 8 times cuz i NEVER call him but I always reply to his texts. Well he was at Hardtimes last night and I was teasing him like I CALL U EVERY NIGHT AND U NEVER ANSWER WTF! LOL well Tabby left me at Hardtimes and I got a ride home with him. I am glad i did cuz i never gave him the time of day really to eve get to know him and I discovred that he is a really nice guy, really funny, hes fun and he's a good person in general. I kind of like him now haha. He said he'd give me another chanc even though I didnt ask (the smart ass) and we hung out for a bit today. He is cute too, looks like Matthew Mcconaughey or however you spell it LMFAO. But he is moving to GA soon so i wont waste my time too much with him and i dont think i will allow myself to like him too much since it's obvious how this one is gonna end. every 10 minutes he kept saying "I am so pissed at you. Where the hell were you months ago? Why the hell didnt you ever call?" and I was just like "I called every night man Idk wtf ur talking about" LOL he believed me for a minute but then he caught on to my sarcasm. Speak of the devil, he just texted me. :D Anywho I guess I am a little happier is what I am trying to say. 21Whisper{Into the wind}

What i really want with you.... Saturday 26.1.2008 @ 8:06pm mood | gloomy I don't give a fuck about sex. I can and have lived without before. Sex is fun, it's great, it can make or break you. It always brought me closer to people but at the same time I dont fucking CARE about sex. Being with a guy for me is not about having someone to go home and fuck when I want. I just want a counterpart. I want to hold hands, I want to nuzzle them and cuddle with them. I want someone to wrap their arms around me and kiss my forehead. 19Whisper{Into the wind}

AI IS ALIVE!!! Friday 25.1.2008 @ 7:45pm mood | jubilant So I resurrected my ipod along with EDWARD (aka Ed) My sister's ipod named after Ed from Cowboy Bebop. Anyway I plugged Ai into my computer and nothing happeed likeit normally did but them 5 min later my apple symbol lit up on my ipod and then it charged but it wasn't recognized on Itunes so i figured she was still broken ah well. Well I was looking for software to back Ai up, copy my songs from AI to my comp and I found a awesome program but you can't use it on an ipod that's not recognized / is broken sudenly I hear a *Ba Boop* and i look at itunes and she was recognized. I LOVE MY AI. She came back to life for me so I didnt have to suffer through crappy radio station playlists anymore. It did the same with Edward and Edward was left outside in ther grass and rained on for a full 24 hours....so I guess your computer and itunes will ressurect your ipods if they r fucked! lol nice. But I still need a new ipod (sorry AI) because Ai doesnt allow me to go back a full page anymore. I can go back in songs but when you press the up button and it takes you a full page back...yeah she doesnt do that anymore and thats a royal pain in the ass. 4Whisper{Into the wind}

I am terribly sorry guys... Thursday 24.1.2008 @ 4:12am mood | lonely I am flooding this site with entries today. I will give it a rest tomorrow I promise but I just had my biggest fears confirmed just now.... I really feel like nothing I want will ever come my way. I will never be with anyone I want to be with and i am not destined to be happy. I feel like a worthless piece of shit. Im upset, sad, depressed and confused. Do you know how bad it hurts to love someone and have to keep it to yourself? You can't tell that person you love them because it will ruin EVERYTHING they have going for them and it will possibly ruin your relationship with that person. Then when they tell you they love someone else you feel your heart being ripped out of your chest only they have no idea they are ripping you apart as they tell you cuz you have kept it a fucking secret so that they could be happy with that person.... I should have known it was too good to be true. I want to die. That's all I want.... 32Whisper{Into the wind}

OVERDUE INTRODUCTION POST Thursday 24.1.2008 @ 12:14am mood | worried Yes. I have posted many things in the last week or so and I never got around to an introduction post. Most of you know me from GJ, some of you know me from here alone. I want everyone to know me on the same level as everyone else and so I begin my introduction. (I was going to do this tomorrow but since Im sitting here just WAITING to hear something back from Matt I figure i'd pass the time with this.) THIS IS ME (Currently) ( +6 ) ( AND THESE ARE THE MAIN CHARACTERS ) And many of those people are a part of the DIRTY DOZEN. That's the name of our normal group of friends you can count into everything we do and show up to everything we go to or plan. There are more people I could put up but the ones I did are the MAIN people in my life right now and the MAIN people I will be talking about throughout this journal. Now im supposed to write about myself here but I think the best info on me is on my layout page and in my user info. I have a great sense of humor. I am open minded.I love poofy skirts and old fashioned dresses. I am obsessed with anything hair as you will see as we go along here. I am strong, I wear my heart on my sleeve, I like kissing, I love NJ (The jersey Shore by Seaside mainly). I can cook, I write, do modeling, photography and I'm a really nice person. I get along with everyone until you mess up BADLY, and I am pretty out of my mind sometimes lol. NICE TO MEET YOU 24Whisper{Into the wind}

Damnit... Wednesday 23.1.2008 @ 10:29pm mood | nervous I hate getting e-mails or texts from people that make your heart just SINK and you get all nervous. Matt just sent me an e-mail that's got me a little worried. He sounded all a-mess and said he really needed to talk to me..... My heart is racing. I hate that shit. Gotta wait for him to get back home to hear it. 5Whisper{Into the wind}

Mp3 PLAYERS Wednesday 23.1.2008 @ 8:50pm mood | indescribable UGH!!! I have been tormenting myself ALL day with this shit. I really can't decide what I want!! The Pink Zune It's cute, plays video's, holds music, pictures, has cute cases and it comes in pink :) The pink ipod nano I had an ipod mini which was pink, I am familiar with ipods. This one does all the same as the zune minus synching. or the fuckin ItouchIpod And this one does all the above plus internet, plus weather, e-mail, directions, etc. I am SO stuck. I need something for my mp3's though and I have ipod stuff for my car that i wouldnt need to buy again if i buy an ipod however i hear good things about Zunes and id have to go and buy stuff for it. Either way idc. Can someone help me? Anyone who has any of these and can recommend something? 10Whisper{Into the wind}

The Main Players - The Guys Wednesday 23.1.2008 @ 1:27am mood | anxious Alright you guys. This entry is going to be rediculous but it's BOTHERING me and it's been on my mind for SO fucking long I just don't know what to do. The following men in my life have been confusing the hell out of me and if not that, they have been making me confuse myself. I am lost, scared, confused. I don't know what to do anymore but I NEVER want to lose any of them as they have all been a huge part of my life. Here we go, pics followed by our brief history and the problem at hand. MATT ( +2 ) I met Matt in the summer of 2007 in NJ. We met by chance at the WAWA off of 35 by the little pink beach house where we were staying at. He was there with his friends, I was out with my sis and cuz. One thing lead to another and we were all in the parkinglot drunk, talking, and hanging out. I was in Carole's Explorer and said "ANYONE WANNA MAKE OUT WITH ME?" and Matt was the first to say "I DO" but he was eating Doritos and i refused so he bought a pack of gum and Initially i was just kidding anyway but since he clearly really wanted to I kissed him. We ended up all partying at his friends house which ended with me and him making out again (As you will see in one of the above pics). We hung out with Just Matt the following day and he gave me his number.Well went back to VA we just didn't talk but I thought a couple months later it'd text him and ask how NJ is doing. He replied instantly and I made it a point to every few weeks or so, text and say hi. ( ...Click here to read more... ) MIKEY ( +2 ) Mikey has always been really cool and really nice but he has an issue with girls where he has a new gf every week. He gets around too but he has always genuinely cared for me and has always been there for me like a brother and a great friend. He kissed me once and told me he really liked me and never wanted to lose me and wanted to kiss me to see if ANYTHING would come out of it. I had the same feelings but he is military and will be in the military for another several years and he will live in Washington State soon after Ranger School. He asked me to Marry him over Xmas break, well to consider a marriage cuz im the only girl he trusts and really cares about. He wants to marry me to take care of himself and us. He needs the help and i could use it too, it would be by papers and we'd get a divorse if I found someone else. As someone who really cares about him I want to help him but Marriage is sacred to me, i want to get marreid once and i want it to be for the right reasons but I cant help but to think...what if we actually have a working marriage? Like we give it a try for REAL and things work out?? MIKE ( +1 ) Mike loves me. He has loved me for years and I could never return the love. Mike and I have a lot in common and I really like him a lot and care about him but he came into my life at the wrong time and had to go back into the military and has been there ever since. He tells me he loves me and wants to be with me and he wants to give dating a shot with me when he comes back to the states but He won't even be in NC which is right under VA like he thought he'd be...he'd be in SC and i can't deal with a distance like that but he is someone I KNOW who really loves me and would be kind to me, cherish me, and never cheat on me..... Idk what to do...I find myself getting really upset when he talks about being with other people now and I was really upset when he told me about SC....This just shows that i really do like him and want to be with him. SHAWN ( +1 ) I met Shawn in NJ in the summer MANY years ago. We hung out for a week and our last day in NJ we finally kissed. He was so unique and nice and HILARIOUS. We have so many inside jokes and he was a great presence. We neevr exchanged numbers since he lived in NY and I was in VA but he liked me so much he SOMEHOW found my number and called me a month later...I was SPEECHLESS when i answered the phone and heard it was him. I was happy as FUCK. We wrote eachother a lot but then lost touch. We recently (about a year ago) found eachother on yes...MYSPACE and we have not really talked up until recently. About a month ago he sent me something nice and then last night and the night before. He wants to come to VA and he says he misses me but.... he has a gf. And that brings up a story I will share later that happened today. I am just happy I have a connection with him again. CHRIS ( +1 ) Chris is my ex ex bf. He and I have had a wonderful open relationship. We understand eachother, he never EVER yelled at me or treated me like shit. he loved me and treated me like a queen. He goes out of his way for me and always does nice things. He and i will ALWAYS be friends and we know we still care about eachother but he wants to be with me again and as much as I like him, Something about him doesnt sit well with me. He is unstable to me.... he always travels and has so much going on....Idk what to do about him anymore either but I have recently gotten VERY jealous of the thought of him being with other girls. Especially this 18 yr old girl he's dating...I can't take it anymore but at the same time i THOUGHT I didn't want to date him. WTF is wrong with me?. And last but CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, The BIGGEST issue in my life... JAMES ( +11 ) James helps me with my Brittish-Enlgish translations. I picked up an interest in it and now he helps me figure things out and help him with proper English. He has always been such a gentlemen to me and said really nice and flattering things to me but I thought it was because he was English and that's just how he is. He and I have a similar ex story so we relate a lot and we both have a deceased parent. Recently he has been telling me these things that really make me feel butterflies, I feel really anxious and sometimes sad or overwhelmed but most of all he makes me incredibly happy. The issue with him is this, He lives in England and he will be coming to the US for at LEAST 3 months. He had planned on coming here for a month but he asnt sure where, now he says he wants to stay 3+ months or years in MY area and it's because of me. He says things like "I want to make you happy, I adore you so much i'd do ANYTHING for you" and I tell him i can't believe him sadly for many reasons and he tells me He "isn't lying" and he's "being dead serious". He says he thinks I was put in in his life for a reason and he just flatters me to death with these really sweet things I have NEVER heard a man say to me before. He tells me I make him unbelievably happy and he thinks about me day in and day out and it sometimes gets to him until he can actually talk to me. He is in England. I am here but if he is serious....I'd LOVE for things to work out but am I just setting myself up? SHOULD I believe him? 6Whisper{Into the wind}

HEATH LEDGER Tuesday 22.1.2008 @ 5:40pm mood | numb WHAT THE FUCK @ HEATH LEDGER DYING. I can't fucking believe he's dead. He was found in his apartment @ full cardiac Arrest with px pills scattered about. WHY....WHY THE FUCK do these young talented actors do this to themselves? So sad... 21Whisper{Into the wind}

Work Monday 21.1.2008 @ 2:55pm mood | working I am sitting here at work and we have never been busier however I am bored as hell now. we had a rush of people earlier in the day and now we have a 2 1/2 hour break before our next patient. Chris stopped by today with NO Mocha Frappachino like he normally brings when he's here :/ WTF is up with that!? LOL just kidding. Anyway I have some serious issues with guys i will disguss later with you all, I need to get it off my chest it's bothering me. I also have something of importance to let out that Mikey told me. Kind of bothered me and made me sad but it's a wake up call none the less. Now I have to piss like a race horse so I am off for now. Be well lovers. 4Whisper{Into the wind}

The FEDERAL PARTY Sunday 20.1.2008 @ 1:17am mood | giggly LOL just got back from the FED party. First off it took me 2 hours to get my makeup right and the gap in my teeth wouldnt stay still lol (black putty). Charlie came out to get us and before we went inside he opened the door and said "Ladies and gentlemen the secretary of state, Condoleezza Rice" And let me in and everyone goes "ohhh wooooow!" And then tabby follows in her tight ass SWAT gear lol they called us the CELEBS of the party cuz we went all out. Everyone was dressed up as something but no one put real effort into anything. There were 2 secret service agents who were there and when i came in they stood up and followed me around LOL. When i went to the bathroom one of them would stand outside the door with toilet paper and tell everyone it was occupied by the secretary of state and he'd hand me toilet paper. It was hilarious. It was really fun. I love dressing up in costume :D but seriously I was ugly as shit LMFAO 9Whisper{Into the wind}

NEW LAYOUT! Friday 18.1.2008 @ 5:17pm mood | loved Ah yes my loves, I have coded a new layout. Check it out would ya? In other news I called out of work today. I don't even really know why cuz I need the money but I wasn't feeling going in. We only had 1 patient anyway and I was going to sit there for a couple hours then go home so what's the point? I also have a lot of work to do here at home anyway that i wanted to get done. PLUS I need to get my Condaleezza stuff lol. Anyway I was talking to James today :) He was wearing that hat I love. He is so cute. He always cheers me up. Enough about that mush, I sent Matt his Christmas gift finally lol but I forgot what I did with it (did i send it? did I lose it?) this was at the beginning of the week and he called yesturday to tell me he got it :) Nice. One less worry. Anyway today has been rather boring. Ciao! 11Whisper{Into the wind}

Boring Thursday 17.1.2008 @ 4:41pm mood | bored Getting kind of tired of this layout already. Guess i should change it soon. It stopped snowing and now it's raining. GAY. I really want to go up to NJ soon. In other news i talked to James today. He told me I was the reason he wanted to come back to the U.S. I don't think he is telling the truth but he said he means what he says and that he is no liar. "God hates liars, and I am no liar" Is what he said LOL altho we ALL lie i think I know what he means. That'd be nice though cuz he is so kind to me. 8Whisper{Into the wind}