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"Could we just snog, then?"

Eliza failed at sending him a real smile, and her lips faltered into a frown a moment later as she looked toward the floor. This was pathetic, she was pathetic. It had been nearly a week since she'd broken the news to Dedalus and they still had no answers! She had thought that asking him what to do through the journals would make it easier, but all it did was cause them to skirt around the real issue and go back and forth and back and forth in a way that they had perfected during their nearly two year long relationship.

Two years. In September, it would be two years. Eliza felt like she'd never had a time without being with Dedalus, it felt like it had gone past with a blink of an eye. But--if they decided to keep the baby, in two years he or she wouldn't even be a year old, they probably wouldn't be able to walk; that was nothing! Two years felt like an eternity when you were waiting for a child to grow up, just imagine the seventeen years until the baby was an adult, and just---seventeen years was nothing compared to the eternity they would spend, being his or her parents.

Eliza pressed her knuckles to her mouth, trying to calm her breaths. That was what was driving her mad, she knew. She could handle watching her nephew, she could babysit Kevin when Ingrid needed a night off, but was she really strong enough to take care of a child for the rest of her life? Did she want to give her life up for a baby? That was being slightly dramatic, but--her entire life, from the moment she decided (if she decided) to keep the baby, would be entirely for him. Or her.

She really needed to find out the sex.

Or---or maybe she shouldn't, because she didn't know if she was strong enough and---Eliza looked up at Dedalus, lips twisted as she forced herself not to cry. It was coming down to one thing, really, and Eliza needed Dedalus' response before she could possibly figure out her own answer.

"Could you--could you do it? Could you---we made this baby and---could you," Eliza couldn't get the words out. Kill it? Get rid of it? Her thoughts on abortion had never been strong, but maybe the trembling of her hands were answering her own question. "Could you act like it---never existed?"