Who: Seth Wadcock and Odette MacFarlan
What: LOLOLOL
When: During practice! (6 am)
Where: His house


Seth was beyond tired. He felt like he was going to pass out any minute. And it wasn't because it was early, normally he'd be at the pitch by now but it was the fact that he hadn't gotten any sleep in the past two days because the baby that was so kindly bestowed on him cried and cried and cried at all hours of the night. And whenever he got her to sleep he had just enough time that he would be falling into a deep sleep when the crying started again.

This time it was sure to last though. Leanne, at least she had a nice name, hadn't had much sleep either. He was sure she wanted her mother, because really what did he have to offer? She had just fallen asleep not even ten minutes ago when the banging started on his door. No no no. This was not good. He couldn't handle anymore crying.

Seth raced to the door and flung it open before whoever it was could hit it again. "MacFarlan" he hissed through his teeth. He would not yell. He would not wake the baby. "What the fuck. You're suppose to be running practice." he said not once raising his voice above a whisper. The baby was just in the other room. Not waking the baby. He needed sleep.

It had been funny at the first practice when they all showed up and Seth wasn't there. Then, it had been wonderful on the second day, because he was actually keeping up this charade and he still hadn't shown up. But by the third day, Odette's amusement about the matter shifted completely into anger, because who the hell did he think he was? Just missing practice and dumping all the responsibility on her without a moments notice? What the hell was so important that he felt he could just do this? There must have been a be-all-to-end-all fedora sale in France, that would be the only explanation.

"What is going on!" Odette screeched, blowing by him and into the foyer, gesturing wildly. Alright, where were they? All the hats that he had just bought, because by now, that was the only excuse she was accepting from him. Everything else would get a very ugly reaction. "Drystan's running it," she replied with the flip of her hand, completely ignoring him as she continued to walk more into the house. The concept that this was the farthest she had ever dreamed of walking into his house (let along go to it), was beyond her at this point: the answer of what the hell Seth Wadcock was up to for the past few days had completely consumed her.

She continued loudly, "Because we, and by we, I mean the team, took a vote, and decided that we had a right to know what was going on here, because if it was any of us that pulled this, you would be---"

Seth's eyes bugged out as she stepped into the foyer and started yelling. Oh dear god, he was never going to sleep. The bags under his eyes were going to be a new permanent feature on his face. He followed after frantically holding his fingers up to his lips and shushing her. Which obviously wasn't working at all because she continued on into this house talking so god damn loudly. He wasn't even paying attention to what she was saying because he focusing all his attention on how to get her to shut up and the soft barely audible babbling that he learn to signify loud wailing was soon to come if silence wasn't obtained. He finally settled for slapping his hand over her mouth. "Will you please just shut the fuck up?" he pleaded in a quiet voice.

He just stood there not moving not even breathing, waiting for the wailing to start. Seth let out a small sigh of relief after a few seconds and finally let his hand drop from Odette's mouth. But he hadn't waited long enough, because Odette was only half way through demanding an explanation, in a much softer tone, when the crying started.

"God damn mother fucker. You have got to be shitting me." Seth yelled before leaving Odette standing where she was and heading off into the other room. It was fine to yell now. Obviously the kid was never ever going to sleep. He scooped the small baby up in his arms and rocked her, just the way Savannah had shown him, since she at least had experience with Roger. He could do this. He was already way better than he was two days ago. "Shhh you don't have to sleep, just stop crying, please?" and now he was pleading. Merlin.

Luck was on his side though, because apparently the little girl just wanted attention since she had been woken up and stopped crying after a few minutes of Seth rocking her. Thank merlin.

What was going on? If Odette hadn't been so shocked at Seth's aggressive display to quiet her, she would have bit him-- it was the least he deserved. So she stayed silent once he released her, deciding that he could abuse and attack him through better ways than words at this point: one of her famous hard glares formed on her face (an especially nasty one just for him this time) as she made a rude gesture with her hand at him.

"What the---" she started after he let out a stream of curse words. But that wasn't what caught her by surprise, it was the very distinct cry of a child coming from another room that did. What was--- despite her second instinct telling her to walk the other way (she had learned well enough with Penny, Marcus, and Terry that crying meant go the opposite direction of the noise), Odette closely followed Seth. Really, she had no idea how she had gotten to a point where she was surrounded by babies all the time.

The amount of shock that went through her system was indescribable: her mouth dropping at the sight of Seth with a baby in his arms. What was this--- did she apparate herself into the middle of the Department of Mysteries? That couldn't be his baby, his wife had not been pregnant for the last nine months--- or was she? No, no, she would have noticed something like that--- better yet, the mags would have said something. Odette watched the scene unfolding in front of her with her mouth open, and her body pressed up against the side of the door frame for support. What... was going... on.

"What is this?" Odette demanded, her hand flying up into the air as she pushed off from the doorway, finally getting her voice back. This was... a joke. A really bad joke that everyone else would find stupid, but Wadcock would find hilarious. Why else would he single her out like this? Because it would be funny. Nope, she didn't believe this for one second. "Where did this come from!"

Ugh. Seth had forgotten that Odette was there. There were so many jokes he could make, 'Well Odette, when a man loves a ---' but he just wasn't in the mood. He readjusted the baby in his arms before settling down on the couch. "This would be Leanne, my daughter, who was conveniently dropped off on my doorstep at two in the morning three nights ago when her mother had decided she had had enough or wasn't good enough to raise her or what ever bullshit reason she had before disappearing into the night. Apparently I wasn't the only one on United that knocked up some chick at an after party."

He didn't even bother looking up at Odette, he knew what kind of look would be on her face. That she wouldn't believe him, hell he didn't even believe it at first. The first two days of missed practices where solely made up of him going over the paperwork trying to prove the baby wasn't his and trying to find the mother, but it was and she had disappeared, no where to be found. And today well, today he was just too damn tired, that and he had to find someone to watch her while he was at practice, and shopping for baby crap, she couldn't sleep in a bassinet forever. Leanne yawned, which Seth mimicked unconsciously, before closing her eyes again. Yes she was going back to sleep.

Seth rested his head on the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling. "I didn't want to tell anyone until I got everything straightened out. So you have you're answers now. I'm not dead, I'm not blowing off practice because I feel like it, and I'm certainly not out having fun. I'm bloody exhausted cause I haven't slept properly in three days and I'll come back when I can. So you can go tell Fawcett and everyone else that."

"At a...." she trailed off to herself. Odette stared blankly at Seth as he spewed out his story, her mouth still hanging open slightly during it. This thing--- baby-- was legitimately his daughter? As in... someone besides his wife had decided it was a good idea to get it on with Seth Wadcock? And then decided to have his offspring? And then give it to him? Who were these people? Odette would like to meet them and attempt to explain just how off the loony they really were.

So. If she got this straight. This one time a year ago, at a United party no less (she shouldn't be surprised about that), Seth knocked up this girl and now he was stuck with it--- this baby--- forever? Which, by the by, had not been produced with his now wife? Oh, this was just too great. That train of thought with the image of him in front of her provided to be too much, and it all got the best of her. Not caring to control herself, Odette let out a soft laugh, which soon turned into a long guffaw after a few minutes. The world was finally getting back at him for her! Finally, finally! And what a suitable punishment! Maybe he would think twice about abusing her from now on, because honestly, he couldn't be in a shittier position than the one he was in right now.

"I'm sorry," she choked through her tears, unsuccessfully wiping them from her face, and not really that sorry. "This is just--- so--- Leanne?" Odette bent over with her elbows on her knees to support herself, gasping for air. She probably shouldn't expose herself in such a vulnerable position to him, but his arms were burdened with wait: it would work to her advantage for running away quickly. "Don't--- don't worry," she continued, one arm going to her stomach now. She should tell the first reporter that she saw, but she wouldn't. No matter how horrible they had treated each other, Odette couldn't quite bring herself to expose something so personally like that of his to the world. "I won't--- I won't tell."

Seth lifted his head off the couch once he realized the laughing wasn't his imagination. Seriously? Was she seriously laughing about this? This was not a joke. Not the least bit funny, This child's life was now in his hands, he was now suddenly a father, having to be responsible and raise her so she didn't end up acting like---and she was laughing? She found this humorous?

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. He was not going to yell. He was not going to wake the baby. He carefully shifted her in his arms and then laid her down on the couch so he could get up. Merlin, she couldn't even stand straight. Oh and wiping tears from her eyes as she promised not to tell. Like he gave a shit about that. It was going to get out eventually, like he could hid a child.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he hissed closing the space between her and himself. "I know you hate me and all, but seriously? You find this funny?" Anger seethed through his voice as he brushed passed her and made his way out to the foyer, and if Odette was smart, she would follow. "I am too fucking tired for this shit. Fucking hell, I'm trying my best here. And I don't need you laughing in my fucking face. I don't give a fuck who you tell. Do whatever the fuck you want, Odette. I've left you alone for weeks, just like you've always wanted and now here you are laughing in my face over---" He flung the door open and made a clear gesture that it was time for her to leave. "I'll be at practice tomorrow since you obviously can't handle it."

Seth stood there and waited for her to leave and after she didn't make a move in the first few seconds after he was talking he went off again. "Get out. I have shit I need to do now that I'm coming to practice tomorrow. Go! Get the fuck out of my house. Don't come back!"

She felt bad for laughing at him, she really did. It wasn't very nice on her part, and she knew almost exactly what must be going through his head right then, and Odette understood that it sucked more than anything, but she couldn't bring herself to stop laughing. It was just--- it just was too hilarious. What were the odds? Like--- what? Of all the people--- and his face, that was the sinker. It was just too much, too much for her to handle, and it took a while for Odette to calm herself down (purely to reduce the blaring pain coming from her stomach).

Luckily, Odette's attempt to stop laughing in his face (she wasn't going to lie, he completely caught her on that) coincided almost exactly with Seth exploded into a new fit of rage, so it worked out that she looked like she was finally taking this situation seriously. She watched him with her lips held back tight, a random laugh or two threatening to break through, but she held her ground. This was serious business they were dealing with here, no doubt about it. But Odette couldn't help but think that for once, in a very long time, him hissing and ranting angrily in her face at her wasn't bothersome one bit.

He just had to ruin everything, didn't he? With his swearing and stomping and yelling. Honestly, they both knew if their situations were reversed (which would never happen, but for argument's sake, she would fall under the pretense), he would be still rolling on the floor, gasping for air. So. He needed to chill the fuck out. And deal with the fact that this was the most ironic event she had witnessed all month.

"Oh--- stop being so dramatic," Odette rolled her eyes, letting out a random low chuckle as she turned back into the hallway, still holding on to the doorframe. "Close the door, don't need to go inviting anyone else in." Her face contorted into a flash of a smile for a second at the sight of him, comparing Seth quickly to a ravingly confused bull she had once seen in Spain. Focus, focus. "Look, if you want help, I'll help you."

Seth just huffed as he pushed the door closed again. Okay fine. So he was being a little dramatic... it was a dramatic situation. And now Odette was standing there being nice, and not the creepy nice that she was before but like... genuine nice. And in this situation he wasn't going to turn down help just because it was Odette.

"Okay, you wanna help?" he said before making his way to the closet to grab a hat and some sunglasses, he was going to call her bluff. "Then I'll take you up on that. I need to go shopping for... you know baby things or whatever." He ran his hand through his hair. How in the hell was he going to get all this stuff without causing a media feeding frenzy. "Any ideas on how to go about buying stuff without being noticed?"

A hat and sunglasses? Odette rolled her eyes as she sighed, realizing that Seth Wadcock had obviously never wanted to deceive large groups of people before in his entire life. And while those accessories were a valiant attempt, it was a far cry from what he needed to do. She would know, because things like that never worked. But luckily for him, she was experienced in the ways of deception-- when she tried, anyway, but now definitely counted as trying. The only way to go and do things you didn't want people seeing was by not going out at all.

"Put the fruity hat down," she shook her head, grabbing it out of his hands before he had a chance. "Where's---?" Odette began, but stopped as she spotted parchment on a desk farther down the hall. Taking a few quick strides, she grabbed a piece and began writing a quick letter, only pausing once to look up at Seth's face for a few seconds and give another round of short laughs. Yep, this whole thing was still funny, no matter how much she was involved or not.

"Write down what you want," she instructed, pushing the quill into his hands once she finished. "I'll go down there to get everything while you stay here. With your baby. That you should never leave alone," Odette looked at him expectantly, just waiting for another heated response. But before Seth could, she began again, remembering the other piece of parchment in her hands. "Where's your owl?" she asked simply, not bothering to clue him in that the letter included a long winded lie explaining why the owner needed to close off the store (or open, it was six in the morning), and open up the floo network for this house (she had memorized this address months ago so as to never go near it). She figured the implication of free quidditch tickets somehow appearing at his doorstep if he did this the next day would help.

Odette looked at Seth quickly, waiting for him to react. "Don't make me regret doing this."

"It is not fruity!" Seth said snatching his hat back from Odette. It was vintage. Classy even. He followed her down the hall, taking the parchment and starting to write what he knew he needed, which were just the obvious things. He really didn't know what she was on about, even owl orders could be traced. He was only halfway listening to her when she mentioned never leaving the baby alone. "And I know not to leave the baby--wait what?"

She was going to go out and get the stuff for him? Really? He couldn't help but just stare at her, not even bothering to try to hide the fact that his mouth was gaping open.

"I--uh--I won't. Thank you." What an odd feeling... thanking Odette MacFarlan. The apocalypse was coming, Seth was almost sure of it.