UsernameEmailRegionInterestAOL IMICQ IDYahoo! IDMSN IDJabber

025
[PRIVATE] We've been back in England for a little over month now.

And--- it feels just as difficult to be here as it was in september. I don't think--- I think it was the right decision to leave then. It was the right decision to go to Italy, which is why we'll go back soon. Especially for Tristan. It's not a very healthy environment for him to be growing up in, and without Gideon... it's not easy to begin with, but the last thing both of us need is everything around working against us. I want-- I want to give him the best upbringing as possible away from the war, away from pain and distract from the fact that he doesn't have his-- father.

Gideon, Gideon, Gideon... I could write his name over and over again, and--- it hurts, it hurts so much to know that--- Tristan will never know him like I did and that I will never-- see him again. It hasn't even been a year yet, but it feels--- it feels like just yesterday but decades ago at the same time. Is that possible? Everyday, I think of him everyday. Tristan has stopped asking for him, and I feel selfish constantly thinking only about him when my parents, his parents and Fabian are all gone... I don't talk to Molly. I should talk to Molly. She'll be having her baby soon...

I don't know why I'm writing this all down, but I just had this feeling like I had to. This is what journals are for, aren't they? I was flipping back to previous pages before, reading past journal entries and noticed how so much has changed since I first got this thing. How different I feel, how different everyone else has become. How much this war has affected so many people. And--- I---

I just--- it's time to go home. Just a few things to do and-- back to Milan. Tristan's Italian is starting to suffer, I can tell already. [/PRIVATE]

[MOLLY] .... [/MOLLY]



I think I would like to bring Tristan to a World Cup game. Anyone think there's any chance of getting tickets?