MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCH.

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I'm going to beat you with a candelabrum, you do realise this?

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No you won't.

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You're not seriously doubting me. Did you already forget the last time I hit you with that book of sheet music?

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Don't you mean Webster's English Dictionary?

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No, now you're confusing that with the month before, actually. Idiot.

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Uh, no, you're not, or else you would have had some bloody consideration to begin with.

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But I didn't know! I was only saying merry Christmas. I thought it would be, you know, nice. I thought it was universal in the States? Oh why did I ever say anything to anyone ever.

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Universal only if everyone in the States was a bunch of sanctimonious prats.

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They sort of are.

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You and I, my dear, are currently in the big ol' U S of A. Are you calling yourself a prat too, or just the natural-born citizens? For shame. I thought some people at Allegro had manners.

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Not to be a jerk, but I wouldn't mind if you wished me a Happy Hannukah, even though I'm not Jewish.

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Oh, darling, I already know you're not Jewish. Nice try though. It's Hanukkah.

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But. All I said was 'Happy Holidays.'

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Was I talking to you? No. Go away.

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Sorry.

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Oh, for fuck's sake, man, grow a spine.

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Umm. Okay.

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I pity you.

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Um.

Sorry.

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Yes?

I mean. Just because a lot of people celebrate Christmas doesn't mean everybody does. And I guess I'd be pretty annoyed if I kept getting told happy whatever if I didn't celebrate it.

I didn't know you were Jewish. I'm sorry if I said Merry Christmas.


(And so is Rob, he just doesn't know how to say it.)

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That question mark says "no."

Also, why are you speaking for your beau, or is he usually that thick?

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I'm sorry, you're making me nervous.

Also Rob's my boyfriend not my beau, and he's not thick.

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