Untimely Death meme
On a battered, damaged recording device:
"I'm not going to apologize for knocking you out. You were both doing that stupid self-sacrificing bullshit thing, and you both know how little I tolerate stupidity. This is my problem and I'm going to deal with it.
"I don't know if you're even going to hear this, but you know, I deserve a final monologue. I'm worth it.
"*sniff* You two can pick out my official last words for me, since I know my real ones aren't going to be appropriate for print. But for the love of all that can be understood in this world, I do
not want you thinking that I'm doing this because I'm "selfless" or whatever bullshit people are going to say about me after I've hauled this thing back to the Hell it came from. You deserve better than that.
"So here it is in all honesty: I'm doing this because I'm a selfish bitch and I don't want to live in a world where one of you is dead. I refuse. No you don't get a choice in the matter, shut up and stop fucking crying! You can cry when I'm done!
"*ragged breathing* Where was I? Oh yeah, honesty. After all I've put you through over the years, you deserve it. But I've got to keep this brief.
"Amelia, I'm sorry I wasn't a better friend to you. I tried, but I don't think I was very good at it. Thanks for being mine anyway. It meant a lot to me.
"Tyson...thanks for a lot of things. I thought no one else would ever understand me for awhile there. Thanks for proving me wrong, and I don't say that to many people. I'm sorry it had to end this way.
"And this is it. R2-D6 back at the school has a copy of my will, same as always.
"I love you guys. Penny out."
*sound of recorder being put down, sound of footsteps moving away*
"
Hey clown! That's right, I'm talking to you! I'm talking to you! That's right, come on! Come on, what are you, scared of little ol' me? WELL YOU SHOULD BE! I'm taking you with me! Fuck you, clown, fuck yo--!"
*Explosion. Static*
