fap (fap) wrote,
@ 2009-02-15 23:01:00

Entry tags:

hayes, sims

Hayes, Generation 1.1

First, lets meet our founder, Camille Hayes. If she looks a little nuts...it's because she is.

Popularity: Become Media Magnate.

Yes, a legacy founder. You live on a lot where the grass is your floor, you have no wallpaper and you sleep on a really cheap mattress.

Camille realizes there really isn't anything better to do and ponders the existence of the lawn gnome.

Camille: I shall call him...Jerome. Jerome the Gnome.

Yeah, Camille. The point of making cereal is to eat it. Not to make the cereal, place it on the counter, and then stare into...nothing. I can already tell you aren't very bright.

And this is where any hint of her sanity goes down the fucking drain.

Camille: SO HOW ABOUT THOSE MICROWAVES, JEROME??! LOLOLOL THEY SURE ARE HILARIOUS!

Camille: Flamingos are LAME. I'M ALL ABOUT THE GNOMIES, MAN.

...is she on crack? The scary thing is..she was gaining social while doing this. She thinks the gnome is talking back to her. What. The. Fuck.

Way to completely flash your vagina to Jerome the Gnome, Cam.

Gnome is not amused by any of this. Not at all.

Camille: NO I DO NOT WANT TO GO DOWNTOWN. I have GNOMES to socialize with.

Well, she went anyway.

She tries to make friends by telling everyone at da clubz that she is a heroin addict.

Alma: OMIGOD DON'T HUG ME YOU JUNKIE.

I'm guessing this is why homegirl(gnomegirl?) sticks to the gnomes.

She attempts the slutty approach of making the real friends.

Yeah..I bet she's looking for a gnome or other inanimate object to run away to.

She didn't find any gnomes.

Camille kept trying to play poker, but kept standing around with that in her thought bubble. My poor legacy founder is well..poor.

Staring at them like a weirdo isn't going make you rich. It's going to make you a creep.

Cam found something that she COULD afford. CHEAP BEER!

Yeah, I would hide from Camille, too, Bartender. You don't really like to talk to people who can have fluent conversations with objects.

Camille: THIS CUP OF "FRUIT PUNCH" CALLED ME A STUPIDHEAD, I SHALL END HIM WITH MY NOT STUPID AND VERY SMART HEAD.

Camille: My hands sing the songs of the umbrellas~

I'd be crying my eyes out if I was a popularity sim whose only friend was a gnome, too.

Camille: SOMEONE HURT JEROOOOOOOOOOOOOME. JEROME IS DEAAAAAAAAAAD.

Camille: LOLOL JEROME ISN'T REALLY DEAD. HE'S JUST KIDDING. RIGHT, JEROME? LOLOL JEROME REMEMBER THOSE MICROWAVES? AREN'T THEY SO CRAZY?!!?

Yeah, the microwaves are the crazy ones, Camille. It's the microwaves.

I need to get her some real friends. Now.

I feel like I've seen this all before..

Well...it's not like I didn't see it coming. All her wants involve making new friends and all she ever does is talk to that damn gnome.

At least she's socializing with something that's close to a real person...:/

OH, YOU CRAZY MONKEY, CAMILLE!

Feeling a little constipated, bb?

Camille: I JUST HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN, JEROME. IT WAS AS LAME AS A FLAMINGO.

Are you kidding me? FOR FUCK'S SAKE, CAMILLE. MAKE SOME *REAL* FRIENDS.

Okay, uhm. Someone get her into an asylum. ASAP. That is the most genuine crazy face I have ever done seen.

I wouldn't kick my only friend to the ground if I were you, Camille.

WTF @ this want. Can't you only do that when a sim is in university? Please don't tell me this neighborhood is already fucked up.

Cam still isn't good at making friends. Which is really bad solely based on the fact she is a popularity sim. ALL OF HER WANTS REVOLVE AROUND TALKING TO PEOPLE, BUT NO ONE LIKES HER. >.>

Camille: I need a gnome to vent to. D:

Camille: HEY EVERYONE THIS GIRL OVER HERE *TOTALLY* WANTS TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME.
Garden Club Lady: No! No! She's LYING. I DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH THE CRAZY LADYYYYYYY.

Life's hard for Camille. It's okay, sweetie, you still have your gnomes and the cups with sticks pasted on to them!

Since the rest of the store was a complete vagina party, we send Camille to one of those night clubs. People don't judge you as much at those.

Camille is upset, because the counter told her she has no friends. I mean, it is the truth. Why it took a counter at a nightclub for her to realize that is beyond me.

She then continued to do boring things like play pool. (No one played with her ;____;)

Honestly? Me too.

Camille: WHY CAN'T I MAKE REAL FRIENDS WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME??!!?!?

Back-Up Plan: Blind date.

Wow, thanks for merging your creepy crystal ball with my founder, matchmaker. It's not like people were already making fun of her or anything.

ALRIGHT. I KNOW you don't like humans and would much rather talk to a gnome or flamingo or shoe or piece of paper, I don't care. JUST MAKE NICE WITH SOMEONE FOR ONCE SO I COULD GET BABIES FROM YOU. This is taking too damn long.

I wouldn't look so smug, Camille. You're the one having mental breakdowns.

That face is giving me chills. She IS extremely creepy. No wonder everyone avoids her.

Camille: HEY WANNA PLAY GAM--
Some Guy: Uh..no..it's fine...can you..uhm...take a few steps back?

Yeah...(lol crotch shot~)

You know..I think it was the socks/mandals combo that really got her into this mental breakdown. Probably the fanny pack, too.

I kind of feel bad for this guy. I'm pretty sure meeting Camille decreases years from your life.

Some Guy: I'll call it..."Crazy Lady I Met Who Is Really Crazy Why Isn't She In An Asylum Yet?"

I do not blame him. Who in their right mind would want to date Camille again? Who in their right mind would date Camille AT ALL? There must be a drugging process done to get some unlucky guy to marry her.

A SOCIAL BUNNY VISIT. NICE. She probably has -83473857 aspiration points.

Social Bunny: WHY IS SHE SLEEPING, I DON'T LIKE IT HERE. IT'S CREEPY.

Camille: I HAD A REALLY BAD NIGHTMARE. THE SOCIAL BUNNY WAS HERE AND I HAD MULTIPLE MENTAL BREAKDOWNS AND---
Social Bunny: LOLHAI!

It really isn't good to be mean to the only people willing to speak to you. Seriously, I know exactly why no one likes you.

If she's trying to convince me she's completely normal by /sexcasually/ resting on the bed. She's failing, horribly.

I'm gonna say the Paper Boy is going to be changing his paper route soon.

Camille: REMEMBER THE MICROWAVES!? HA HA HA HA. MICROWAVES ARE TOO MUCH, DON'T YOU THINK?!

Camille: I smell like happiness!!!!!!!!!!

No, you smell like TV dinners, macaroni and cheese, pop tarts, and milk. GO TAKE A FUCKING SHOWER.

Sweet! Hot pirate man. POUNCE, CAMILLE....Camille? Where is she?

Dammit, Camille. Snap out of your crazy face and greet the man before he realizes he just walked by the bad neighborhood and flees.

Camille: I DON'T LIKE YOU, YOU AREN'T A GNOME.

dothesmustle: *fumes*

Whoa, Camille. SNAP OUT OF IT, THE DAMN PIRATE IS...PLUNDERING JEROME.

Camille: OMIGOD WHUT RU DOIN'?!!?

Camille: FUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU, PIRATE. YOU DISGUST ME, YOU THIEF!
Pirate: I feel like whistling today! :D :D

It seems as if she enjoyed that nightmare. Sims 2: Erotic Dreams Y/N?

Camille: NO IT WASN'T HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT!!!!

Having nightmares about meeting new people and she's a popularity sim. Camille is a winner.

How expected of you, Camille.

Screw you, Camille. I finally get hot-gothic elf guy in my neighborhood and you go all bitchtastic on him. THX FOR RUININ' MY HOPES AND DREAMS.

She hates nice elf man, but she swoons over Pirate who stole her bff gnome.

When they actually want to be her friends, she rejects each and every positive interaction. Nice. Real nice.

So I guess they decided to be bffz with each other.

Elf guy kicked Cam out of her house so he can watch Pirate jump rope.

IT'S OKAY, GIRL STILL HAS HER GNOMIES.

Pirate: Yeah, I don't really like to date crazy gnome-loving girls.
Camille: I DON'T LIKE GNOMES. SEE? I KICKED IT~ :D :D SEE!? I'm so sorry, Jerome. I still love you.

You must be one BADASS pirate if you can steal the gnomes. TREASURE? PSHAH. Gnomes is where it's at.

Camille: SCREW YOU GUY THAT DOESN'T STEAL MY GNOMES. YOU SUCK.

I don't understand what goes on in that crazy little head of hers. She'd rather befriend this guy that steals her shit and not with the nice elf. That's it. She's stupid.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WAT.

Oh meh GAH. Obviously some old guy trying to be hip is the perfect guy for Camille. Not like a...psychiatrist or anything. Some octogenarian biker. Pure logic.

You already stole her gnome, Pirate. Don't steal her date, too. Jerk.

It didn't even matter, though. Camille promptly left him to go steal back her gnome.

Uhm. WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED HERE? She barely knew him. D:

Camille: OMFG WHAT DID I JUST DOOOOOOO?

I don't even know.

Elegant girl.

Camille attempts to make snowmen in hopes of befriending them. 'Cause to Camille, the less alive, the better.

Which would explain her old man fetish..

That ends this update. So. Will Camille ever make friends? Babies? OR MAYBE EVEN CAKE?!?!
Stay tuned and ~find out~

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