ojandtostitos commented on thedirtysouth's post in blueridgeschool:

Tatum had decided immediately after the incident at homecoming that distancing herself from Mackenzie was the only option. Not only had the entire shaken her up in general, but it had sort of shaken her to her core, really put her on the spot. Plus there was the matter of how Mack had acted toward Sam, and even sort of snapped at Rath. She was sure that it was never going to end, but then Sera and Hunter had got her out, and after that she immediately made her decision. It was too much, she was getting too close all over again.

It was her fault, really, for leading the blonde on. Which was regrettably exactly what she was doing, whether it was intentional or not. Mackenzie Dubinsky didn't fall for girls, didn't shout out embarrassing things to them in crowds of people. Mack had been Sera's friend for years, and until the blonde set eyes on her, Tatum was pretty sure the older girl had never acted this why before. She was just fucking everything up, possibly Mack's whole life not to mention her own. Her inner coward never had to fight too hard to gain control, and so avoiding the blonde had been the best answer. Avoiding her, and ignoring that the scene at homecoming ever even happened.

But it had been forever now, over two weeks, since they had spoken to each other. She had, however, spoken to Rath plenty. His advice was still fresh in her mind as she read over Mack's question, feeling her stomach plummet and trying to fight against the urge to get sick. She always got so nervous. She had typed the most dismissive response she could, and then had taken to waiting, sitting in her desk chair with her legs pulled up to her chest.

It soon occurred to her though, that she was still wearing her clothes from class. She felt suddenly silly, and even sillier as she jumped out of her chair and began rummaging through her dress drawers. Was she actually changing because Mack was coming over? What was the difference? She should have just said no, avoided the whole ordeal, cut the older girl out of her life and make them both feel saner.

But she didn't, and now she was hastily kicking her legs out of her sweatpants, hauling on a pair of clean jeans and a new tee. She examined herself in the mirror, swallowing thickly as she eyed her reflection. She looked like shit, but she had looked and felt like shit a lot this year. It was a tense one, a lot less relaxed than she had wanted her freshman year to be. So why did she feel better knowing Mack was coming, even if it would probably only complicate things further?

The older girl had a knack for knocking down her walls, and Rath's encouraging words still echoing around her brain weren't going to help her resist. What if he was right? There was no making life better without taking chances, maybe things would even work out in the end. Sera had been out for a long time, and their dad didn't know yet. It was incredibly dishonest, but she hadn't been killed or anything for the time being.

She immediately wanted to stop thinking about her father as soon as he was on her mind, and she turned away from the mirror, grabbing a hat from the where it was discarded on the end of her bed. She was pulling it on, pulling her ponytail through the back, when she heard Mackenzie outside the door. Her pulsed seemed to quicken, then stop, before returning to a normal rhythm.

Clearing her own throat, she anxiously ran her hands over her shirt as if to calm non-existent wrinkles, before moving over and pulling the door open carefully. She saw the blonde on the other side, and felt her pulse skip again, making her clear her throat awkwardly and step aside to let Mack inside. She didn't really know what to say, and her mouth felt dry, so she didn't say anything at all.

When the door was shut, she went straight to her desk instead, plopping into her chair and busying herself with hunching over it and starting to roll a joint. It was the only idea she had. Shaking a cigarette out of her pack to get a bit of tobacco from, she added just a few pinches to her pile of weed before turning, looking rather on edge as she offered the remaining three quarters of the cigarette to Mack.