thedirtysouth posted in blueridgeschool:

Mackenzie offered the younger girl a small half smile as she walked into the room. She couldn't meet her gaze though, keeping her eyes trained on the floor as she brushed lightly past the redhead. The blonde hadn't missed how her heart seemed to speed up at being so close to the other girl. It took all the self control that Mackenzie had not to pull the girl into a hug. The redheads silence scared her though, she couldn't read it.

Only once Tatum had closed the door and went to sit at the desk did Mack make a move away from the door. She walked wordlessly over to the redheads bed, sitting nervously on the edge of it. She had no idea what to say, she felt like sorry wouldn't ever be enough. How could she tell Tatum she was sorry when she could barely remember what happened? She chewed anxiously at her lip, her brows furrowed. There was an unusual tightness in her chest, it hurt and made her feel uncomfortable. She could see her vision getting blurry, and realized that this must be what it felt like to break down. 

Swallowing thickly, she looked up at Tatum as she was offered the cigarette. The small redhead looked as though she was waiting for the blonde to snap at her. Mackenzie bit her lip as she felt a small tear escape from her eyes. She had been trying so hard to keep it together, but the on edge look that the girl was giving her was breaking her heart. 

"I-I'm not gonna bite Tatum," she said quietly, accepting the cigarette and lighting it with a flick of her wand. "G-god Tatum, I'm so, so, sorry!" 

She scrubbed furiously at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt before looking towards the window. She didn't want to see that Tatum was seeing her weakness. Taking a drag from the cigarette, she took a moment to try and compose herself. Her eyes were still dangerously watery, and she could feel her walls beginning to crumble. 

"I was just upset, and hurt. I know it's not a good reason, but it's the only one I got." She ran a shaking hand through her hair, and took a deep breath before continuing. "I don't remember what I said, but I didn't mean any of it T. I promise, I...I care so much about you." 

The tears started falling now, and there was nothing the blonde could do to stop them. It was a long time coming, she supposed, one can only bottle up their pain and despair for so long. "I would never hurt you intentionally, honest! I was just angry, and hurt, and drunk. It was stupid, but it's not who I am Tatum."

Taking a deep breath, she wiped at her eyes again. "The only true part of me that night was the part that told you I loved you." It was out in the open now, she had admitted it soberly to the redhead. She only hoped that Tatum wouldn't crush her.