Dresden Academy

Who: Luka and Adelaide, her brother Simone and his boyfriend Jesus.
When: Tuesday April 19th
Where: Adelaide's brother's apartment. Burnham City, NY
What: Luka goes over to Addy's house to entertain her. And then things just get crackier.
Rating: SFW. Language.


Luka was bored. It was a fairly typical state of mind for him and it usually resulted in very bad things. An idea struck him, a field trip to see his pal Adelaide. It just so worked out that she was in Burnham instead of Baton Rouge.

He didn't think to ask why. What Luka did was invite himself over for a visit. He packed a bag for overnight just in case. The train ride wasn't so terribly long and if Addy wanted to get rid of him he could take one home fairly late at night.

He stood at the front door of her building and buzzed the apartment for Simone Legaux and Jesus Suarez. "Looking for Adelaide," he said into the intercom.

Addy tried to get to the buzzer before Simone did, but he shoved a hand on her face and held her off while he listened. “This is not your usual gentleman caller,” he teased, holding down the intercom button so that their visitor could hear. “You slut!”

“Si! I will kick your ass!” They scrabbled for control of the speaker, Adelaide finally gaining the upper hand with an elbow to her brother’s face. “Idiot. Luka, come on up. I will be hiding bodies.”

He laughed and grinned into the intercom. "Sounds like an excellent start to our break." Even though it was almost half way through. "Coming up." He let go of the button and opened the door as soon as he was buzzed in. The elevator ride was short and thankfully devoid of musak. He knocked on 502 and waited for trouble.

Trouble was right behind the door, again fighting for dominance and the right to greet the guest. Addy had no idea why Si was so intent on always being first at the door; it was like living with a puppy with attachment issues. “Fuck off, puta! Go shave your legs or something!” She managed to open the door just a crack before he shoved her into it. “Ow! Let me answer the damn door!”

Luka slid in with a smarmy grin. "I know I'm a catch ladies, but you don't need to fight over me."

“Did you hear that Si? There’s plenty of Luka to go around. So go away, I call first dibs.” She shoved him away, back further into the apartment, and rolled her eyes as he disappeared into the kitchen giggling. “It’s like being in the girls dorms all over again.”

Luka smirked at that. "Why are you here anyway?" Not that he minded; he needed an excuse to get out of his house and away from all his siblings.

“I live here now.” She shrugged. “Herr Hitler kicked me out.” It wasn’t the worst thing that had ever happened to her. It wasn’t the best thing, but if Luka knew her parents, he’d probably agree that it wasn’t the worst. “So! Welcome to Reject Stadium, home of Rene Legaux’s most disappointing endeavors.” She grinned. “The lack of curfew and supervision more than makes up for the teeny rooms.”

Luka offered her a conciliatory grin. "And I'm willing to bet they're much better role models. I could only be lucky enough to get kicked out of my house." He shook his head and dropped his bag just inside the door. "You know me, I'd end up in a crack den with Hawthorne as my legal guardian."

“Oh good lord, Hawthorne Nikitin shouldn’t be allowed guardianship of any living thing. He’s an asston of fun, but he could kill a potted plant in an hour. Maybe see if one of the crack addicts will adopt you instead.” She grinned evilly. “There’s always a chance you’ll get one who won’t try and sell you for a couple rocks. Pretty thing like you would fetch a good price, my man.”

"Or molest me for fun and profit," he added with his trademark dimples. "You're just lucky I didn't ask to bring Thorny along with me for our visit. He almost set the house on fire yesterday. Had to take him out to the movies. He wanted to see Your Highness but it was sold out so we ended up seeing Scream 4." Luka stuck out his tongue. "I never saw the first 3."

She raised an eyebrow. Your Highness sounded like a chick flick. “Oh wait, is that the one with Natalie Portman’s ass?” The parts of trailers that stuck in her mind... “Scream must have been such a disappointment then,” she teased.

"Yes," he replied about Natalie Portman's ass. "You know Thorn. He likes his stoner, buddy comedies." Luka shrugged because it wasn't quite his bag, but he'd watch it with his cousin anyway. "Scream was alright. It's like Courtney Cox's face was melting. It was pretty gruesome. Which I suppose is all you can really ask for in a horror flick."

“Mmm, attack of the killer botox. Pretty much the only thing I remember out of Scream is the popcorn and the phone call at the beginning, and the rest of it actually happened in Scary Movie. The sign with ‘certain death, this way’ and removing Carmen Electra’s implants by stabbing.” She flopped down on one end of the couch. “Go ahead if you need to light up; Si’s not fussy about smoking in the house.” In fact, he was probably doing it right now.

Luka didn't need a second invitation. He broke out his cigarette case and lit one up. "I fucking hate sneaking around." At home he had to sneak outside, or smoke when he was elsewhere. His mother would never let it down if she knew he smoked (just like his father who only pretended to quit to stop her nagging). "So Simone's pretty cool to live with, or what?"

Addy laughed. “Um, he has his moments.” This was drowned out by Si yelling from the kitchen that yes, he was fucking awesome to live with. She just rolled her eyes. “Like I said. Girls dorms all over again.”

"Do you guys like... Have slumber parties and paint your toenails, gossip about boys and shit?" He laughed and a puff of smoke drifted out of his lungs.

“Oh my god, it’s like you’ve been here before. When Jesus gets home, we’ll all sit in a circle and do your hair and make fun of me because I’ll be a cat lady.” She giggled, and stole his cigarette momentarily. “Maybe not with cats though. I could be a reptile lady.”

"You strike me as a reptile lady," he said and nipped his cigarette back for a puff. "In all your cold-blooded scaly goodness."

“I resent the ‘scaly’ comment. You could have gone with something mildly sexy,” she teased, then laughed. “Oh, I see, I’m gonna be one of those. Fat, hunched, house full of animal shit. Yay, future.”

"Reptiles are sexy," he replied. "I don't need to gild the lily." Then he reached over to poke her in the side. "Reptile ladies don't really do houses full of animals. They have like... a terrarium room with five or six snakes. And they have poles to practice their erotic snake dances. It's a totally viable and very sexy life for you."

“That is much more like it, thank you very much.” She grinned. Luka was one of the very rare exceptions to her ‘all boys are assholes’ rule.

Simone poked his head out of the kitchen with a raised eyebrow. “Should I clear out and give you some private time, then?”

Addy stuck her tongue out at him. “Yes. Fuck off so we can Xbox in peace.”

Luka laughed. "Please tell me you’re making a cheese plate out there in the kitchen?" Then he turned to Addy. "Rude!" But he laughed and shook his head. "Oh Xbox. Mortal Kombat came out with a new one on Monday. I'm both disgusted and enthralled."

Si’s ears perked up; he was being given the opportunity to play hostess. “I can make a cheese plate. I can make the best cheese plate.” He disappeared back into the kitchen and they could hear him rummaging around in the fridge before he returned. “But I will have to go to the deli.”

“Bring ham,” Addy demanded from the floor, where she was untangling controller cords. “Another one! Shit son, that’s like what, fifteen now? I’m still playing GTA3!”

"I prefer Vice City," Luka announced. "Good soundtrack." Then he grinned once Simone was gone and asked: "we just made his day, didn't we?"

She shrugged, half in the cabinet where the television was and trying to plug stuff in. “At least half-made.” If he really wanted to make Si’s day, he’d probably have to hang his pants off the doorhandle. “You’re gonna get an epic cheese plate out of it though, he goes all out. He’ll probably bring back a feast and demand you stay at least a month.” She backed out of the cabinet and checked the signal.

"If he feeds me cheese plates every day I'll never leave," Luka promised with his hand on his heart.

Addy grinned. “Here I thought you were visiting to see me! It was all the cheese.” She tossed him a controller. “Want to play Call of Duty? I unlocked Nazi Zombies mode...”

"Adelaide. My sugar tits. I came for you. If I can get cheese out of the deal then it's like... ganache icing on a double chocolate cake." Then she was talking about gaming and his face lit up. "Oh fuck yeah."

“Don’t ever tell anyone I let you call me that.” She put in the disc and leapt back onto the couch beside him to start killing zombies.

"What do you mean, let me?" He smirked at her delightedly. "Nobody lets me do anything," he said in a tone that suggested he didn't need permission.

She rolled her eyes and elbowed him. “Fine, don’t tell anyone you call me that and don’t get a punch in the dick for it.”

He pushed his shoulder into hers and then managed to kill a zombie in the nick of time. "Maybe I like it rough."

“I bet you do. All my friends are freaks.” She gave him a playful cuff around the head, and then cursed at the game as a zombie started attacking her. “Ack! I need a bigger knife.”

"You need to pay attention," he teased and poked her in the side again to punctuate his point. He managed to kill some more zombies before he had to go and revive Addy. "I'm kicking your ass right now."

“I’d kick your ass back at training, if you ever showed up.” She reloaded quickly while he held off the new hoard, and started picking off the zombies by the windows.

He shrugged unhelpfully. "Holden can suck my balls," he said gleefully as he shot another zombie through the head. "Fuck that shit man."

“Nice headshot! And watch your mouth, he’d totally do it. That guy’s a perv.” They finished off that round of zombies, and she took a quick look at the points tally before repairing a window barrier.

"Has he tried to feel you up, assistant coach?" Luka laughed a little fiendishly. He could just imagine Adelaide's horror and didn't have to turn from the game to witness it.

She wrinkled her nose, and not at the impressive display of gore from the headshot she just managed. “Ew, no. I heard things though.” One of the girls who had quit the team last year swore up and down the coach was a locker room shower creeper.

"Girls and their gossip," Luka teased and killed another wave of zombies. "I don't know that Hulett would let a pervert teach. Though she doesn't have any problems letting in stoners."

“Who said it was a girl!” It was though, it always was. She wasn’t sure boys gossiped at all. “It could be true. All he’s lacking is pedo-glasses. I watch my ass around him just in case.”

"You don't need to," Luka said almost consolingly. "He's watching your ass for you."

“So long as he keeps his hands to himself,” she said, and thought about maybe trading in her training shorts for some sweats instead. “My ass is off-limits.”

Si emerged from the kitchen at that point with the cheese plate (and a ham sandwich for Adelaide), having returned from the deli without their notice while they were playing. He shook his head upon overhearing the last part of their conversation. “I don’t even want to know.”

Luka grinned at their host(ess). "Simone you have outdone yourself." He paused the game without asking Adelaide and set into the cheese plate joyously. "And yes, you really don't. But if your sister comes home from school with a daddy don't be surprised."

“Aw hell no. I don’t need no creepy old man fanning the flames of all your daddy issues.” Si pulled a face and offered Addy her sandwich.

She snatched it away with a scowl. “I am not even. Coach Holden is not my daddy. Gross.”

Si pulled a face right back. “Holden? Herbology Holden? Oh, that’s just nasty. You could at least make an effort. Professor Behrend was hot. If you have to go there, go there.”

“Excuse you, if I’m going to pimp myself out to faculty all my base are belong to Professor Walsh.”

"I'd tap that," Luka said into a piece of cheese. He was certainly cracking himself up.

Addy shook her head and responded through a mouthful of ham. “Nope. You don’t tap Professor Walsh. You submit to him.”

"Then I'd submit to that," he corrected and laughed. "I'd also be the filling in a Morgendorfer sandwich," he added saucily.

She thought about it. “I would not. But I don’t judge your choice, because she is a MILF and I say that as the straightest girl ever.”

“You say that as the biggest closeted lesbian ever.” Si took the punch with practised ease and stood up. “There’s tea and soda in the fridge; I gotta get for work.”

"Simone, from your lips to god's ears," Luka teased. "Has she ever told you about the bizarre sexual tension she has with Abernathy Ford?"

He stopped halfway to his room and turned around to give them both a very curious look. “Does she now? Jesus Addy, you’re going through that family like chicken pox.”

She reddened at Luka’s accusation, and very nearly turned purple at Simone’s. “I am not! Shut up Si! Asshole!”

Luka quirked his head to the side. "What's this?" he asked, a big grin spreading slowly over his face. "Have you been macking on AB's dad?"

“Turd! That would seriously fuck up the amount of time I’d have available to fuck your mom.” She scowled and picked up her controller, unpausing the game without checking if he was ready. When Si got home from work she’d kill him.

Luka snatched his controller up and paused the game. "Now you hold on just a hot minute." He turned and grabbed a hold of her shoulders, turning her to look at him. "What does your brother mean?"

“What do you care?” She wriggled out of his grasp. But then, she sighed, because she knew Luka and he wouldn’t let her wriggle out of answering. “I get along really well with her siblings, okay? It’s like, opposite of how I get along with her.” Very, very opposite.

"Really well?" he asked and then poked her hard in the side. "And which sibling?"

“Yeah really well, compared to her. Again, why so interested?” Oh, Simone was so dead. “Come on, we got zombies to kill.”

"I'm interested because you're dodging. And there are people related to Abernathy Ford who might not be mutant rednecks."

She huffed. “I’m not dodging, you’re just asking ridiculous questions. Her entire family is actually very nice. She’s the only one who got dumped in a vat of Noxious Potion at birth.”

"You got that right," he said. But he wasn't entirely swayed. There was something more to it if only because she was getting huffy about it. "All right. Let's kill us some zombies."

“Thank you.” She pursed her lips and wriggled back over to steal off the cheese plate, before unpausing the game again. “These fucking crawler zombies are assholes. They come way too fast.”

"I heard Andre had that problem too." Luka grinned, because Andre bashing was probably his favorite thing to do with Adelaide. "I wonder if that's why Queeny dumped him."

She smirked maliciously. “Poor thing. Can’t please a man or a woman.” ‘Too fast’ hadn’t so much been a problem from her point of view. About two seconds into it she’d been thinking ‘ow, you’re hurting me, get off’ and pretty much just wishing it was over. “Well, guess that puts him halfway to my wish about him dying alone and miserable.”

"He's too much of a prick to ever find something good," Luka assured her. "And he's lame."

“Sadly Asshole McCuntbag is no closer to my ‘dying in a fire’ wish.” She shook her head and clucked her tongue. “I’m a good person, why can’t I have that one thing?”

"He's so flaming he has to be flame retardant. You might have to wish for him to die by drowning. Or choking on dicks. I'm going with choking on dicks. Infected ones." Then he shivered because that was a picture he didn't need in his head.

Addy shook her head, also not needing that picture in her brainspace. “He’d like that too much. I should hire like the filthiest skanky prostitute in the universe and have her sit on his face. He can drown in blue waffle. Think Kim Kardashian is available?”

Luka nearly gagged. "Or one of those New Jersey housewives," he mused. "They're completely nasty."

“Ugh, right? Let’s roofie him and leave him in Atlantic City with a big sign around his neck that says CLEAN AND DTF.” Slutty bitch like him was probably crawling with STIs, but there was no need for honesty where justice was involved. Besides, it was Jersey. Everyone had STIs.

"And chain him up in front of an S&M store. Just for good measure." Luka was mashing his buttons hard before exclaiming. "Fuck! Fucking fragged from behind. Can you revive me or what?"

The swarm was upon her at this point. “Fuck, fuck! Just a-- fuck!” She died too. “What was that, like seven rounds? We can do better. Restart?”

"Christ on a cracker. Yeah. Restart."

Addy shrugged off the death and went back to the start map to begin the campaign again. “All right, let’s do this. Si’s gone, cheese is here, distractions at a minimum.” She grinned over at him. “To the death! … again.”

Several rounds later and Luka was nearing a state of shell shock. "Adelaide. My eyes are going to start bleeding." He set down his controller and leaned onto her, shoulder pressed to shoulder, ear to ear. "More cheeeeeeese."

“To go with your whine,” she teased, side-headbutting him. “All right, all right, keep your pants on.” She chucked her controller into the cushions beside her and got up to check what was left in the fridge, bringing out some bundles wrapped in deli paper. Rifling through until she found the ham, she dropped the rest in Luka’s lap.

"You and your ham. You'd make a terrible Jew. Maybe you should just date a pig. Get all your dating needs in one." He opened up some of the bundles and pulled out a piece of cheese to nibble on. "Your brother takes such good care of us."

“Dated a pig already. Didn’t even get to turn him into bacon.” She pouted, then stuffed another slice of ham in her mouth. “He’s such a food bitch, you should have been here last Thanksgiving. I swear he cooked enough for an army.” There had been leftovers for a week and a half.

"I'd still flay him for you," he offered. He grabbed her chin and shook her head slightly. "I'd go gay for your brother. He could keep my house any day."

She beamed at the promise of violent vengeance, and then squinched her eyes shut and poked out her tongue at the facegrab. “Serious. If I ever get married, I’m getting housewife lessons from him, he’s the best.”

"Jesus is a lucky man," Luka marveled.

"You know I am," Jesus said from the door as if on cue. "I suppose my Si Si's off to work?" he asked Adelaide.

“Yes’m! You’re early. Moments earlier, my man, and you would have caught this puta trying to hit on your wife.” She tsked at Luka, loving all the new swears Jesus had taught her. “Lucky that elevator’s a little bitch.”

"Hands off my lady," Jesus exclaimed and stepped over to the couch to slap Luka on the back. "I'm not prone to sharing." Then he smirked at the children. "Did he feed you?"

Luka nodded happily, even though he still had some cheese slices in a package next to him on the couch.

"He's just a good little mommy," Jesus said cheerily. He dropped his bag on the coffee table and headed off into his room to change out of his uniform.

“Like a boss,” she confirmed, although she was pretty sure Jesus knew he would have fed them. Then she turned to Luka once Jesus was almost out of earshot to say, “That’s a lie, he’s a big sharer. An oversharer.”

"I heard that, chica," he said, peeking his out of the bedroom. "And I will have you know that you would die for gossip if I weren't."

Luka didn't bother hiding his laughter at this statement and gave Jesus a big thumbs up. "True story. She'd have to start reading the Enquirer."

“Or your diary,” she shot back. “And you say girls are terrible gossips. I keep my business to myself.”

Jesus changed quickly, chatting to them from the bedroom. "Nuh-uh, chica. You can't gossip when you don't have any business to gossip about."

Luke smirked. "He has a point." Then he proceeded to wage a tickle war with Adelaide.

“Well when I have business I’ll keep it to mys-- STOP IT!” Addy curled up into a helpless ball on the couch, wriggling and smacking him back. “Jesus, help me!”

Jesus hummed like he couldn't hear her pleas for help. Si Si was always going on about how Addy needed male attention. This was certainly male attention. He wasn't about to interrupt it and get a lecture from his boyfriend later.

Luka carried on happily torturing her with tickles until he almost rolled off the couch onto a package of deli meat that had fallen to the floor.

She put her foot in his belly once she felt him unbalance and pushed at him. “I can’t breathe! How is hanging out with you more of a workout than actually working out?!”

He flopped over the edge of the couch onto the floor laughing. "I'm a handful," he asserted and started attacking her feet with tickles.

She screamed at the top of her lungs and tried both jerking her feet away, and kicking him as hard as she could. “How rough do you like it?” She yelled, feeling her foot connect with his chin.

Jesus stayed in his bedroom, but peeked out the door to see what was happening.

Luka yelled and managed to catch her foot as she pulled it away from his chin. "Oh Addy, you don't want to know." Then he pulled on her leg and tickled behind her knee, still from his spot wedged between the couch and the coffee table.

“Ahh! Bastard!” She beaned him on the head with a cushion and tried to wiggle away, succeeding only in slipping off the edge of the couch and very nearly catching her head on the edge of the table.

“You’re going to kill me!”

"Not trying to," he promised and called a cease fire for the moment. "How does Jesus feel about underage drinking?" he asked, about to suggest that they get hammered and start drunk dialing their friends.

Addy sat up, eyeing him suspiciously as though he might just start up the attack again once her back was turned. “Jeeeeesuuuuuuus?” She ventured finally, climbing back onto the couch to peek over the back of it towards his and Si’s room. “My favourite almost-brother eveeerrrrr?”

Jesus pushed the door open slowly and offered Adelaide his are you bagging me bitch face. "Is there something you wanted niños?"

She offered him her most brilliant smile. “Boooooze?”

He raised an eyebrow, but he knew Addy well enough at this point to trust her. Luka had been around before; he could be trouble, but then Jesus could always just send him home. "What kind?" he asked with the tiniest frown of disapproval. His tone suggested he was going to get it for them anyway. Simone could yell at all of them when he got home, until Jesus offered him a big bottle of his favorite wine and a hot massage in their bedroom.

Luka shrugged. "Any you have, honestly."

“Pretty please?” She beamed at the look he gave them as he disappeared into the kitchen. “I love you Jesus! You’re the best!” She picked up all the packages they’d kicked around in the tickle fight and put them on a pile on the coffee table. “I’m sure you’ll be wanting cheese later, and preferably not sat-on cheese.”

"Depends on who sat on it," Luka teased.

Jesus rummaged the cabinets and found that they had an ample supply of booze already. Si Si must have restocked. He smiled at that thought and got out three glasses. He'd start them off with rum and cokes which were easy and could get you well and hammered. He mixed the drinks and brought them to the living room on a small tray. "Let's watch a movie," he said as he picked up his glass and settled into the arm chair.

Addy winced in delight at the drinks, Jesus always made them especially strong. “Enough of these baby, and you can even get me to watch Velvet Goldmine again.” She shifted up to the end of the couch closest to him and leaned over to plant a big kiss on his cheek.

"It's about time you expanded your palette," he replied with a cheerful grin. "Guest gets to pick."

Luka looked over their movie shelf and didn't recognize a lot of the titles. "How do we feel about Rocky Horror Picture Show?"

“I’m shivering with antici... pation.” She smirked, and lazily Accioed the DVD over. “I haven’t seen this since junior year. Cool.” She lurched up off the couch and switched out the Call of Duty disc for the movie.

Luka had seen it once before and he was pretty sure it was only because Hawthorne thought it was a porno. He took a very big slug of his drink and grinned at his host and hostess for a cheers.

Jesus reached over to clink his glass with Luka's and then with Adelaide's. "Excellent choice," he said. Luka was trouble, but he was entertaining.

“It’s no Fight Club, but I guess it’ll do,” she teased Luka, before putting her feet on him. She liked to spread out while watching a film.

Luka grabbed her feet to knock them off, but decided she was fine where she was. He didn't mind Adelaide slumping all over him. "We can watch that next. After we get dressed up in your underwear and beat the shit out of each other."

“So just your average weekday, then?” She grinned. “No seriously, I got this bangin’ little blue set that’d be perfect on you; it’ll really bring out your eyes.”

"If you've got thigh highs to go with it I might be sold." Then he clucked his tongue. "Oh the gossip will be raging when everyone finds out I got into your panties."

Jesus laughed out loud, unable to hold it in. "I'll drink to that."

“Only socks bro, when am I ever going to need stockings?” Then she started laughing. “No one will believe you. You’ll have to let me take pictures!”

Jesus sighed. "I've been trying to get my little hermana here to dress like a girl the entire time I've known her." He shrugged as if he was about to give up, but it was his life's work and he just couldn't. "It's not as if I haven't bought her sexy stockings."

Luka broke out his dimples. "How sexy?" he asked. Then he pouted a bit. "You've got to show us. In honor of Tim Curry in heels."

“Too sexy.” She shook her head. “I will never ever ever have any use for them. They will live in their bag forever, sad and alone, just like me,” she grinned and laughed. “Maybe I’ll bust ‘em out at Halloween.”

"I'll let you turn me into a girl," Luka said in a moment of desperation he was sure to regret.

Jesus clapped his hands together. "Oh baby. We'll make you into a fierce girl!" He snapped his fingers in a Z formation. "I think we still have heels from that drag show last year." Then he blushed a bit, because he didn't know if Addy was aware of some of the wackier things Jesus and Simone got up to on the weekends.

“... you have heels.” She facepalmed, suddenly overwhelmed with the sinking realization that Simone in drag... probably looked exactly like her in a dress. But then, Luka was offering to dress up like a girl, and she wasn’t sure that was an opportunity she could pass up. A devious little smirk crossed her lips. “Okay, deal.”

"But you're wearing those sexy stockings with a dress or a skirt and I'm taking a picture," Jesus interjected as Luka paled considerably. "Need pictures to hang up at work," he said with a big grin.

Luka sat silently, horrified and a little bit thrilled. "Let me finish my drink." He tipped the glass up and chugged it down. "And maybe make me another."

“Ahahahaha! You’re gonna be a pin-up, Luka!” She grabbed him and hugged his head. “This is gonna be stupid fun!”

"I'm going to regret this so much," he replied.

Then Jesus smiled. "Don't you worry chico. I'm going to get pictures of mi hermana too. We're going to doll you both up!"

“Aw, what do you need pictures of me for! I wear skirts all the time!” Not that she didn’t love hamming it up in the background and ruining an otherwise good picture of someone else. In fact, that was her favorite thing to do when someone got out a camera.

“If Si Si and I ever get divorced I need proof that I'm your real daddy so I can get child support." And it was so ridiculous that Jesus just laughed and laughed. He had no intention of breaking up with his Si Si. And he was definitely not Adelaide's daddy.

Luka got up and kicked his foot toward Jesus. "Gonna make me a drink big boy?"

Jesus laughed again. "You sure know how to sweet talk a girl. S'pose you want a refill too?" he asked Adelaide as he picked up Luka's glass as well as his own.

“Why not? I’ll want to be drunk by the time he’s in my panties and looks better in them than I do.” She snickered and finished off her first drink.

"Your brother is either going to kill me or be so incredibly jealous." Jesus mixed some more drinks and brought them back to the living room for the kids to drink. "All right. Let's do this."

Luka drank quickly and bit the inside of his lip. "You first," he said to Adelaide.

“Chicken,” she teased, before taking her drink into her room to dig up the mess on the floor in the hopes of finding the giftbag with the stockings in it. After a minor excavation, she found it firmly stuffed under her dresser with the rest of the things she never used and had forgotten she had. She switched out her jeans for a skirt and pulled the stockings on, a little surprised that they weren’t the skanky fishnets she’d for some reason imagined them to be. That didn’t change the fact she’d never wear them, though.

She returned to the living room after a critical once-over in the mirror, posing for them with a hand on her hip. “In honor of Tim Curry in heels. Voila.”

"My god," Luka said, grabbing Jesus' arm. "It's almost like a girl came out of Addy's bedroom."

Jesus tried really hard not to laugh because he was fairly sure Adelaide would kill him. "Chica, that skirt isn't high enough. And you're not wearing heels." He snuck in a picture anyway before pushing her back into her room. "You stay pretty boy," he said to Luka before closing Addy's door behind him. "Honestly girl. What would you do without me? How do you even manage to dress at school."

He climbed into her closet and started rummaging through to find something really fabulous. "Do you even own heels?"

“I don’t do heels,” she informed him with a disbelieving snort. “And... you’re not going to find anything shorter in there. You want short, you’re stuck with cutoffs.” Her collection of summer shorts could probably be considered scandalous, if she had an ass to fill them out. “What in the hell possessed you to get me these, anyway?” She pulled at the elastic lace tops. “All those super hot dates I go on?”

"Every girl needs a pair of these," he said confidently. "It's not for the boys. It's for you. Every girl needs to feel sexy." Then he grinned, almost scandalously. Simone was not that much bigger than Adelaide and he had an exquisite little mini-dress from their drag days. He ran out of Adelaide's room and into his own, rummaged the very far back of his closet. He grabbed the dress and ran back to Adelaide's room, taking a moment to give Luka a thumbs up.

He pushed the dress into Adelaide's hands. "I'll forgive you the heels. You're putting this on." He returned to the living room with Luka. Winking at him, Jesus was almost giddy. "It'll be worth it."

“The fuck is this!” She yelled after him as he escaped into the living room. “I am not.. You’re not dressing me in drag!” She threw her door open and waved the tiny sparkly thing at Jesus. “I do not need any help looking like a dude in girls’ clothes! Luka, it’s your turn!”

"Oh hell no," Luka said a little drunkenly. That last drink was hitting him hard. "Jesus said you have to put that on and then I'll get in your panties."

To which both Jesus and Luka fell in a pile of giggles.

She cursed them both out. “You will regret this when it comes time for me to choose what you’re wearing,” she promised ominously, slamming the door shut to put on her drag queen dress. Once it was on... well, she probably would have called it a top, not a dress. She opened the door just enough to stick her head out. “Please, for the love of god, tell me you didn’t wear this in public?”

Jesus grinned and placed his hand over his heart, raising the other as if taking an oath. "I didn't wear that in public.".

Luka was trying to get a better view but all he could see was head and door. "Ah come on!"

“Did he get arrested for wearing this dress in public?” She asked flatly, disappearing behind the door again to check that the dress did, in fact, cover everything. Begrudgingly, she opened the door, still tugging the hem down as she did so. “This is obscene.”

"That's how you get laid," Jesus said matter-of-factly.

Luka's jaw just dropped. He'd never seen Adelaide look this way before. He smiled awkwardly at her. "You're stupidly hot," he said unhelpfully.

“Fuckin’ bite me, both of you.” The dress probably wasn’t as short as she felt it was, but god, it was breezy up around her thighs. It made her uncomfortable. “Come on, you’ve gotta drag up too.”

Luka dragged himself from his spot, but before he followed Addy into her closet he grabbed a hold of her waist and spun her around. "Really hot," he whispered close to her.

She stabbed her finger into his chest. “Oh no, flattery ain’t getting you out of this one. You are getting ribbons and satin and teeny tiny panties.” She broke his hold to dig around the back of her girly drawer, knowing exactly what torture she was going to inflict upon him. Finally, she emerged with a corset top and thong.

“Suit up.”

His eyes popped so far open he thought they might fall straight out of his head. "Do you really want me sitting on your couch in a thong?" he asked, hands on hips. His feet were planted and he wasn't moving any closer to the silky underthings she showed him.

“Did you really think I was going to offer you my Batman pajamas once you made me get in this dress?” She put her hands on her hips and stared right back. “I can get you something else, but it’s not gonna be much more fun for you.”

"You gonna watch?" he asked taking the underwear begrudgingly.

“Oh come on, I’m not that evil. You can keep your...” her eyes flicked down to the panties, amused. “Itty bitty bit of dignity.” She grinned wickedly at him, and ducked out to the living room so that he could get naked in the privacy of her closet.

He stripped down to his boxers and tried to figure out the corset first. "How in the fuck," he mumbled to himself. He was good at getting girls out of these things, but he'd never helped one back into their underpinnings. He frowned and made his way to the door. "Jesus," he called, the desperation in his voice apparent. "Jesus I think I need your help."

"You are praying to the wrong Jesus, chiquito." He got up and moved to the door.

Luka felt a little awkward asking a gay man help him get into his boyfriend's sister's underwear. "Uh. Yeah. What the fuck is this?"

Jesus laughed good naturedly and clicked the door shut behind him. "It's a corset."

"I get that. How the fuck do you put it on."

"It's a training corset, cuchuras." Jesus took it from Luka's hands and unzipped the side. He helped Luka into it and zipped it up for him. "You're on your own with the underwear." He laughed and left Luka to it. When he returned to the living room he beamed at Adelaide. "I tell you what chica, if you don't hit that I'm going to talk Si Si into a threeway."

Adelaide shook her head. “You guys need to be less concerned with the contents of my vagina. Seriously.” She was absolutely not even going to comment on the matter of a threeway. Just, no. She moved over to the door. “Come on man, what’s taking so long? You find Narnia or something?”

"I'm too big for your panties," he replied in a strangled tone. It wasn't entirely false. The strings of her thong was digging into his hips. He didn't think he needed to paint the picture for her properly. My junk is rubbing all up in your teeny tiny panties. And then wasn't that a horrible thought to try and get out of his head. Don't get a boner. Don't get a boner in her underwear.

“What do you mea--” Oh god. Containment issue. She backed away from the door. “Jesus, baby. Would you go in there and find Luka some slightly bigger but still incredibly humiliating bottoms?” On the one hand, she knew where everything was. On the other... some things she’d rather leave a mystery.

Luka blushed furiously on the other side of the door. "No. No, I'm good. Jesus, you need to close your eyes. I'm not drunk enough."

Jesus laughed. "Nene, I've seen things that would make your whole body blush."

"Too late," Luka replied as he cracked open the door and peeked his head out. "It's not... They're just... Tight," he finally managed to mutter. "Your panties are very tight." And I'm in them. He started laughing. "Oh god. Adelaide Legaux. I'm in your panties."

“You’re in my panties in my bedroom. Si’s gonna be so pissed he missed this.” She sidled up to the door again and put her face just inches from his to whisper so Jesus wouldn’t hear (and then make endless fun of her). “If you like, you can go get some less tiny pants. Just... don’t pick see-through ones. Please.”

"You trust me in your drawers?" he said, giggling drunkenly at the double entendre. "Addy you sexy beast, go get Jesus to make us more drinks and I'll find something a little less scandalous."

She dissolved into giggles too. “More drinks! He’ll need it after his journey through my drawers!” She cracked herself up and pushed at Jesus’ shoulder. “Enaaaaabler.”

Jesus beamed. "When it comes to all things drag, I will enable until the sun stops rising." He went into the kitchen and made them another round of drinks. "Si Si is coming home to a full stop tranny mess."

Luka shuffled through Addy's drawers quickly and found what looked like the most comfortable underpants. They were boyshorts. The drawback was that they were lacy. And pink. "Fuck it." He slid out of the thong and slid into Addy's lacy shorts. He had to recite his mantra once again. No boners in Addy's panties. He peeked at the door and bit his lip, stealing up his courage.

Honestly, wearing ladies underthings was so much worse than Adelaide putting on stockings and a drag dress. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and let himself out into the living room.

Addy was most of the way through her new drink by the time Luka finally emerged. “Ahaha! Those are my favorites!” She squealed, and lifted the side of her dress for a microsecond. “I’m wearing the blue ones!” Then she started laughing her ass off because she’d just lifted up her fucking dress. She padded over in her stockingfeet and threw her arms around him. “There, that’s not so bad, right?”

Luka was not only wearing her underwear, he'd seen her underwear on her. This night couldn't possibly get any more awkward or kinkier. At least he hoped... He grinned into her shoulder. "No. not bad at all. I don't know how you girls wear these things all day. They're already riding up." Then he laughed. "You feel sexy or what?"

“They don’t ride up on me! Though, I guess they’re carrying a little more cargo with you.” She burst out laughing again. “Oh god, what have we done?”

"Really bad things," he replied and squeezed her. "If I end up with a lacy underpants fetish because of this you're paying for my therapy."

Jesus emerged from the kitchen and tried not to act like an old leching perv. "Fabulous, nene! T-girl fierce."

"What's a t-girl?" Luka asked slowly letting go of Adelaide. "Can I put on my real clothes already?"

She smirked, “Show him that picture you showed me. He’s like ‘what do you think of this girl’ and I should have known it’s a trap because since when does Jesus look at naked girls on the internet? Anyway. She’s pretty, whatever... scroll, scroll, scroll OH MY GOD SHE HAS A DICK. Mind! Blown!”

"Oh no no. I don't need to see it." He took the drink Jesus offered him and downed a large portion of it. He honestly couldn't remember how he'd been talked into this. "Adelaide I don't know if I got my money's worth." Then he ducked before she could tackle him. Because then they'd really be doing what he predicted: T-girl Fight Club.

“Hmm?” Perhaps luckily for him, she was quite pleasantly buzzed and not quite at the point where everything was making immediate sense. “Oh, right! Pictures!” She ran into her room to fish her phone out of her jeans and get a snap of him before he managed to go hide in the bathroom or something. After all, what was the fun without the evidence?

She cackled, attempting to aim the camera and hold it still. “Hello, new Facebook profile picture.”

"Jesus help me!" He ran for cover behind the couch. If she had snapped a pick she might have gotten part of his ass and a leg. No way to prove it was his. He grabbed a couch cushion. "I'm not drunk enough for this."

Jesus wasn't about to get between them. "Children!" Let's settle this like proper drag queens."

"No way," Luka said circling the couch and covering his face with the cushion. "She'll pull out my weave."

"I think I've decided I like you," Jesus said officially and took a very big chug of his drink. "Why don't I take a picture of the two of you together. You'll both be too embarrassed to post it."

“I couldn’t post it anyway,” she protested. “Then people would know what my underwear looks like! And that you’ve been in them!” She giggled and tried to hold out her phone again. “I just want a sexy picture to come up when you call me.”

"Take a picture of my junk. No face." Then he burst into laughter. "My dick in your panties. Every time your phone vibrates."

Jesus just shook his head. "How about I take all of your phones and cameras away?"

Addy pouted. “So unloved! I don’t even get a picture!” She handed her phone over to Jesus, still sadfacing, and put her hand over her heart. “I solemnly swear I won’t tell a soul; this our dirty little secret.” Then the giggles started again.

"No Addy. It's your dirty little undies." Luka streaked off into her room and leapt into her closet where he'd left his clothes. "I need to be a man again!"

“Pussy! And he didn’t even bring out the heels! You got off easy.” She turned back to Jesus. “I’m gonna tackle the shit out of him when he gets out of there.”

Luka decided in the closet to play a little prank on Addy. He kept her little pink underpants on and slipped his jeans over the top. He left his boxers where they were on her closet floor and tossed the corset on top as a little surprise she could find later. His smirk hitched back in place he headed back into the living room. "I can officially say I've been in your panties. And now I know what all the fuss is about."

Jesus just shook his head and sipped quietly at his drink. Sometimes it was just better to witness the shenanigans and not get involved. Oh to be an adult.

She raised an eyebrow? “There’s a fuss? This is news to me.” Well, Simone and Rosa tended to make a fuss about there never being anyone in her panties. Is that what he meant? “Jesus made you another drink, but I drank it because you were mean and didn’t let me take a picture.” She stuck out her tongue at him on her way back to her room, having decided against a tackle while she was still in a tiny dress. “I gotta get out of this thing.”

"Just leave it on the floor and show us your skivvies!" Luka cheered. He was lucky to be on the other side of the room.

"It's all good," Jesus said as soon as her door was closed. "I made you another." He passed a second drink to Luka. "I think you knocked Addy totally out of her comfort zone." Jesus couldn't tell either of them that he thought it was a good thing.

She flipped Luka off before she shut the door, and emerged minutes later, back in the clothes she was wearing earlier. “Pants! My one true love. Ugh, tell Si he has slutty taste in dresses.” She shuddered. “I have tops longer than that thing.”

"Let's just... Pretend that never happened." Luka chugged the rest of his drink and set the glass on the table. "We need to watch Fight Club. And maybe not tell Simone that you wore his drag dress. And that I was in your underpants."

“It was your idea,” she pointed out. And you seemed to like the drag dress, she added mentally, though not aloud as well (in a rare display of tact). “Holy shit, is Rocky Horror over already?”

"I finally understand the horror part." He flopped onto the couch dramatically and patted the couch next to him for Adelaide to join him. Fight Club wasn't going to erase the insanity he'd experience tonight, but it sure as shit was going to make him feel better about it.