The distinguished ramblings

Before he went to his parent's this weekend that Friday right before we had this argument. I asked him to speak with everyone about not liking me.

 

Anyway.... I told him that if he couldn't respect me like that and if he couldn't do it then he shouldn't be there. So then for four hours that night I cried begging him to stay and all was well and he would ask and everything was fine. He pinky promised and kissed on it (as cheesy as it sounds) that he would come back.

 

Well my phone doesn't work so he left his with me and he never answers a number he doesn't know or a restricted number. He does however listen to the voicemails.

 

Well it was a girl. The message was as follows: "Hey Jeff, it's Paige. I just wanted to say I had a great time the other night and well umm so we should do it again and umm you have my number so call me. :muah: I love you."

 

I called him and he said he had no clue. He said that he hasn't cheated on me and never will. And soooo because of my suspicions he's not coming back and I guess the relationship is over. I actually I know it is. Anyway he came and got all of his stuff except that his bed is there and a few shirts and some mail.

 

I miss him already so much. God, I'm starting to cry. This sucks.... So anyway.... I had this guy Aaron since I've known since high school who is like a brother to me recover my gamer tag to his xbox and I changed my password and everything and I get a message from Jeff... "where the hell did you recover your gamer tag to?!?!"

 

I replied... "Why does it matter? I don't want you to be able to do whatever you want with it."

 

Then that's when it got horrid, as if it were not already, he leaves me another message (I'm going to try to get it right).

Jeff: "What the hell can you do with it? You're stupid fat ugly bitch. I hope you cut your wrists, jump off the balcony, and roll into traffic." I know there was more but I don't remember...

 

Jeff: "I really fucking hate you"

 

I reply: "I got the locks change. You owe me half the rent like you put in writing. I don't need you anymore."

Truth is I don't understand this. He's never been horrid to me once. I don't understand any of this and why it's so definite that because I was scared after hearing that voicemail that he won't come back and we can't be together.

 

Truth is I'm used to his warmth there next to me in bed.

 

Truth is I do need him.

 

I did most of the providing. I did most everything.

 

It hurts a lot. He took the xbox that was to be "ours" and I had a month of xbox live on there.

 

Then he accused me of being with my exboyfriend Nick.. God that asshole ran over my foot and abused me so bad mentally.... I would never go back to him.

I haven't written anything in forever... and I know there will be more to come... I just don't know when.