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Radio Play: Metal Bits (part 1) [21 Nov 2009|12:59pm]

Narrator: (announcer-like) It is a world ruled by Mad Science-! No, wait, not this world. This world is arguably ruled by some unknown number of yet-to-be-named deities that like to fiddle with the lives of fictional characters. But this alternate reality is not actually half-bad because it does have its own aspects of Mad Science and Fantasy! It is a world filled with ancient and modern warriors, magic, devils, and little black things called ‘heartless’! This is the world of Traverse Town: home for those who have no other place to go!

 

Narrator: In our last (quietly) but extremely imaginary (normal) episode, the Spark Agatha Heterodyne,

 

Agatha: (excited) Science!

 

Narrator: and her companion, the enigmatic Time Lord that calls himself ‘Doctor’,

 

Doctor: (casually) Tea?

 

Narrator: and her hired minion, the infamous masked hero of football called Eyeshield 21 who secretly turns into Sena Kobayakawa when he takes off his helmet,

 

Sena: (scared/startled) Hii!

 

Narrator: managed to find some fairly interesting metal bits in a tr- (appalled) trash can!? What kind of adventure was that!?

 

Sena: (confused) Um, Traverse Town isn’t that big?

 

Narrator: (annoyed) Are you that desperate for materials?!

 

Agatha: (sheepishly) …Yes.

 

Doctor: (chatty) Oh, it’s quite alright. You’d be amazed what people throw away!

 

Narrator: (begrudgingly) I suppose that’s true…. (coughs, then quietly) Now where was I? Ah yes! (normal) –Metal bits in a trash can, which they have brought back to Agatha’s small, but slowly growing, lab!

 

Agatha: We must examine this right away! I have to know what it is!

 

Sena: …It’s shiny metal?

 

Doctor: Always could not be. Not everything is as it appears to be. It could be a very useful quasi-mechanical equilibrium device.

 

Sena: Don’t those have buttons on it?

 

Doctor: Sometimes they don’t.

 

Agatha: It might be broken! It might be boring! Let’s find out!!

 

(laser sounds)

 

Sena: …Did anything happen?

 

(tapping on metal noise)

 

Agatha: Nothing happened to the metal. Hmm….

 

Doctor: That was a spectacular flash of light, perhaps it emitted something?

 

Sena: L-like r-radiation?

 

Doctor: Entirely possible.

 

Sena: Hiii!

 

Agatha: I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the case, I have radiometers in here, they would have sounded an alarm if there had been an increase in radiation. Maybe it just changes color if you hit it with a laser? (disappointed) That’s pretty boring….

 

Sena: Boring is good!

 

Agatha: Sena, remind me we need to work on your project enthusiasm later.

 

Sena: Uh, okay?

 

Doctor: We could at least find out what kind of metal it was.

 

Agatha: (excitedly) Oh yes! Stress test, conduction test, ultra-violet radiation test, magnetism test, (loud) let’s get to work!

 

(alarm sound)

 

Sena: Agatha-sama! It’s lunch time!

 

Doctor: And a fairly convenient time to stop.

 

Agatha: Bu-but-!

 

Sena: Its okay, we can get back to work right after lunch?

 

Agatha: (begrudgingly) …Alright. Lunch it is.

 

(sound of footsteps)

 

Doctor: Your kitchen needs restocking.

 

Sena: But we have-!

 

Doctor: -No tea. Absolutely no tea. I can forgive you for forgoing the 178 piece Gallifryen tea set but no tea? Next to water it’s the single most popular beverage in the universe.

 

Agatha: Why don’t we stop by the cafĂ© then?

 

Sena: Ack! Let me get my helmet! (sound of running, screeching, opening, slamming, running)

 

Doctor: He is rather fast.

 

Agatha: Of course he is! Speed is necessary in a good minion!

 

Doctor: Is he okay with that?

 

Agatha: I’m paying him a fair wage.

 

Doctor: Okay then.

 

Sena: (breathing heavily) O-okay, let’s go.

 

(walking on cobbles)

 

Haruhi: (humming)

 

(sound of some chairs scraping and people sitting)

 

Haruhi: Huh? I thought I tucked in those chairs….

 

Sena: Haruhi-kun, what are you talking about?

 

Agatha: We’re kind of sitting here?

 

Doctor: (short chair scraping) Umph! Hey! I’m sitting here!

 

Sena: Haruhi-kun!

 

Haruhi: Why is this chair so heavy?

 

Agatha: (loudly) Hey we’re right here!

 

Haruhi: This is so weird…. I’m going to go ask Anezaki-sama about it….

 

(sound of feet walking away)

 

Doctor: This isn’t good.

 

Agatha/Sena: Doctor[-san]?

 

Doctor: I believe we might have been knocked out of perceived reality by a chemical compound bonded with the metal. Pretty soon we’ll encounter some nasty dimension eating insects if this is anything like the last time this happened. Its Vore technology, the only reason we haven’t noticed the second moon is the fact that it’s still light out. This is a mess but it probably won’t be as problematic with your death ray and those shoes you have….

 

Sena: Th-that isn’t good is it?

 

Doctor: Most would consider that to be a misfortune, yes.

 

Agatha: (loudly) This is great!

 

Sena: Hii!

 

Agatha: (excitedly) There’s so much to learn! We should go exploring!

 

Doctor: (thoughtfully) Well killing those bugs is going to be a necessary for the sake of preserving Traverse Town proper…. I have no reason to object.

 

Sena: (hesitantly) Oh, okay.

 

Agatha: Don’t worry Sena! This is an adventure!

 

Sena: …That’s what I was afraid of.

 

Narrator: What does Agatha intend to learn from this experience? What will the Doctor do if he actually finds some of the horrible insect monsters he just spoke of? Will poor Sena get a moment’s rest? And will they ever get lunch!? Find out on the next exciting episode of the adventures of Agatha Heterodyne,

 

All: (loudly) Girl Genius!

Metal Bits (Part 2)

Voice Acting Cast (in order of appearance):

Narrator: Linds

Agatha: Shay

Doctor: Meli


Sena: Aim

Haruhi: Noel

 

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Radio Play: Metal Bits (Part 2) [21 Nov 2009|07:41pm]

Metal Bits (Part 1)

Narrator: (announcer-like) It is a world ruled by Mad Science and Fantasy! Where things happen, usually to other people. This is what most call ‘entertainment’. But occasionally, rarely, they happen to you. Sometimes you get bit by a blood giving-vampire because you were a little down that day, or you get blackmailed because you were in caught in a compromising position by the wrong person, or you give a psychopath the wrong answer and he decides to start poking you with his sword- hard might I add. But sometimes, and I do mean sometimes, good things happen to you. Good things like being rescued by a federal agent who fights zombies, or the guy at the Inn gives you a place to sleep, or sometimes, just maybe, you find yourself in for another exciting episode of the adventures of Agatha Heterodyne,

 

All: (loud) Girl Genius!

 

Narrator: In our last installment, the Spark Agatha Heterodyne,

 

Agatha: Science!

 

Narrator: the Doctor,

 

Doctor: Yes?

 

Narrator: and Eyeshield 21, or more commonly known as Sena Kobayakawa,

 

Sena: Hii!

 

Narrator: where examining some mysterious metal,

 

Sena: That we found in a trash can.

 

Narrator: with lasers,

 

Agatha: Because they’re fun and flashy!

 

Narrator: which accidently knocked them out of perceived reality,

 

Doctor: It’s rather inconvenient.

 

Narrator: and they are now questing to find some horrible insect monsters the Doctor spoke of.

 

Doctor: Because they were responsible last time.

 

Agatha: (breathing heavily) They aren’t in the first district.

 

Sena: (breathing heavily) M-maybe they only are where heartless are?

 

Doctor: I’m more concerned with the reality law that prevents any sort of monster from appearing in the first district.

 

Agatha: That is the most interesting restriction on reality I’ve ever experienced.

 

Sena: …What are we going to do if we find a heartless instead?

 

Doctor: Whatever you two normally do when you find them.

 

Agatha: That would be killing them for munny.

 

Doctor: Violence? Why does everything fall to violence?

 

Sena: (apologetic) Oh- sorry sir!

 

Person: (monotone) I. Don’t. Care.

 

Agatha: He heard us!?

 

Doctor: (uncomposed) W-well he’s not normal.

 

Agatha: (a bit startled) S-sir, are you okay?

 

Person: (monotone) I. Am. Nothing.

 

Sena: (nervously) Wh-what’s g-going on?

 

Person: (monotone) I. Am. Heartless.

 

Agatha/Doctor/Sena: Heartless!?

 

Person: (monotone) Power. For. Hearts. Darkness. For. Hearts.

 

(ominous steps walk away)

 

Sena: S-scary!

 

Agatha: It wasn’t an insect monster.

 

Doctor: No, it was very perplexing. Maybe we haven’t been thrown out of perceived reality after all. Perhaps we are in a dimensional fold that lays over the normal reality of Traverse Town. This could prove much more difficult to get out of. Though I’m sure you’ll be glad to know, Sena, that there aren’t any insect monsters if that is the case.

 

Sena: (sigh of relief) Thank goodness…!

 

Agatha: I want to confirm that was a heartless first!

 

Doctor: Excellent idea!

 

Sena: …How?

 

Agatha: That’s easy! We go and find some people that normally kill heartless and see if they kill anything like that creepy guy!

 

Sena: Oh.

 

Doctor: That might get a bit gory.

 

Agatha: If you trust me I’m the only one that has to watch.

 

Sena: We should stay together! (small, almost inaudible whimper) Don’t leave me alone!

 

Doctor: Safety in numbers.

 

Agatha: Of course. You two can turn away when the kill happens.

 

Sena: Oh.

 

Agatha: (slightly offended) I’d be a horrible mad scientist if I couldn’t watch over a minion properly!

 

Sena: A-ah.

 

Doctor: Wouldn’t ‘lab assistant’ be a more descriptive title?

 

Agatha: Oh, no, that’s your job.

 

Doctor: Mine?

 

Sena: Yes.

 

Doctor: Well, alright then. (quietly, slightly offended) Ooo, just what I always wanted to be, I’m so glad I went to school for 200 years….

 

(sound of people walking)

 

Agatha: We should go into the third district, more heartless there and all.

 

Sena: (positive grunt noise thing)

 

Doctor: Carry on then.

 

(sound of people walking)

 

(sound of swinging and metal claning)

 

Sena: Someone’s fighting!

 

Agatha: Perfect! Let’s go!

 

(sound of hurried footsteps)

 

Shadow Link: (Link-like battle screams) Shaaa!

 

Doctor: Did Link dye his hair while I was gone?

 

Agatha: No, that’s Shadow Link. Link’s future self’s shadow incarnate.

 

Sena: They told me they were twins!

 

Agatha: Initially they told me that too. They probably tired to simplify it in a way most people could understand.

 

Doctor: Oh yes, I recall hearing about the boy. Four centuries in Link’s future and the cause of some of his concerns about paradoxes. As well as the fact the lad supposedly died in his world before coming here.

 

Shadow Link: Kyaaa!

 

Person: (monotone, lamely) Ow.

 

Shadow Link: (accented) Die heartless!

 

(loud thump)

 

Agatha: So those things are heartless then!

 

Sena: W-why do the bodies look more real?

 

Doctor: Sena! Your feet!

 

(sound of someone bumping into someone else)

 

Shadow Link: (accented) Are you okay?

 

Sena: (awed) You can see me?

 

Narrator: Will those insects ever appear? Why do the heartless look like people? And why can Link’s shadow self actually see them? Find out next time on the next episode of the adventures of Agatha Heterodyne,

 

All: (loud) Girl Genius!

  

Metal Bits (Part 3)

Voice Acting Cast (in order of appearance):

Narrator: Linds

Agatha: Shay

Doctor: Meli

Sena: Aim

Person: Dan

Shadow Link: Noel


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