| The Hard Part: Now In Capslocked Lulz |
[Nov. 18th, 2008|02:58 am] |
You know what livejournal needs? A chatscript of Sylar going mother-hunting, with appropriately high levels of crack and the occasional Mylar-themed interlude. This makes total sense.
ultramarine
(I'm not a copycat)
(I'm an original!)
(ALSO, I'M SPECIAL. PROUD OF ME YET, MOM?)
cazrolime
(SO PROUD. LET'S CELEBRATE WITH TUNA SANDWICHES)
ultramarine
(AND CRISPS. AND SNOW STRAIGHT FROM THE TAP.)
cazrolime
(OMG HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT :O )
ultramarine
(NEVERMIND THAT, WATCH THE SNOWGLOBES.)
(I love you, Mom!)
cazrolime
(EEPS, DUCKS)
*THWACK*
ultramarine
*cringes* Sorry! Wait, wait... I said I'm sorry!
*crai* *writes in his journal*
cazrolime
(RUNS)
(CRAIS)
ultramarine
DAMNIT, MOM, I HAD AN IMPORTANT QUESTION TO ASK YOU. COME BACK!
*smashes head against door* IT'S SAFE, I SWEAR.
(nevermind the violent banging)
cazrolime
;_; YOU'RE NOT MY GABRIEL.
ultramarine
I'M WEARING A SWEATERVEST. IT'S SAFE!
cazrolime
I'M GOING FOR A WALK
AND WHEN I COME BACK I EXPECT YOU TO BE GONE
ultramarine
LIKE HELL YOU ARE!
cazrolime
D:
ultramarine
*GRAB* ANSWER MY QUESTION, MOOOOM!
(they need to do Heroes like Rocky Horror Picture Show, with live actors and audience feedback)
cazrolime
I FORGOT WHAT THE QUESTION WAS D: D: D:
YOU NEVER ASKED IT, IDIOT BOY
ultramarine
*whines* STOP BEING SO MEAN TO ME. I just want to know why I'd so something like, I dunno, kill lots of people.
cazrolime
Because you're a narcissistic meaniehead with an entitlement complex.
ultramarine
WONDER WHERE I GOT THAT FROM, HUH MOM?!
cazrolime
HOW DARE YOU SPEAK THAT WAY TO YOUR MOTHER :|
ultramarine
WHY'D YOU NEED ME TO BE SO SPECIAL?
*moshes*
OH, RIGHT, I HUNGER. Nevermind, my bad.
cazrolime
DUDE, LOOK AT ME. I LIVE IN A SHITTY APARTMENT WHERE THE TRAIN PASSING KNOCKS THE CHINA OVER
I WANTED TO LIVE THROUGH YOOOOU
And you hunger, also.
ultramarine
Well, come on then, we'll be late for blowing the city up.
cazrolime
That part's your fault.
:( But I live in the city!
ultramarine
*takes your arm gallantly*
'sokay, you won't have to worry about the train knocking over your china for much longer.
cazrolime
I don't like the ominous way you worded that, son. I think I'll brandish some sewing scissors at you in frantic self-defence.
ultramarine
*grabs at scissors* C'MON MOOOM, YOU'RE ALL I HAVE!
cazrolime
YOU'RE A SCARY BASTARD AND STUFF
:(
*holds on*
ultramarine
BUT I'M YOUR GABRIEL...
*TUGS AT SCISSORS*
cazrolime
NO YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE A MEANIEHEAD. WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS.
*TUGS BACK*
OI LEGGO
SOMEONE COULD HAVE AN ACCIDENT :O
ultramarine
(waits for you to fall on the scissors already so I can make a fingerpainting)
(Virginia totally says oi. It's canon now.)
cazrolime
(your selflessness astounds me)
ultramarine
(hey, I let Mohinder top. I'm the epitome of selflessness.)
cazrolime
(only when he brings a syringe.)
ultramarine
(and a gun)
cazrolime
(and in the sense that the ceiling is higher than the floor.)
LET GO LET GO LET G--
...
OW
ultramarine
DAMNIT MOM, LOOK WHAT YOU DID!
*crais more*
cazrolime
SHUT UP THAT WAS YOUR FAULT
GIANT-EYEBROWED FUCKUP
*dies*
ultramarine
IT WAS YOUR FAULT. HOW COULD YOU? Mom?
cazrolime
*makes deadface*
ultramarine
(now I'm all alone) (should I call Mohinder again?) (am I really going to explode?) (Mom?) (I am a giant-eyebrowed fuckup.)
WELL... that could've gone better.
Time for a vision of the future, I suppose.
cazrolime
*is abruptly Japanese* NOT SO FAST EVILDOER
*POKES WITH A STICK*
ultramarine
WELL.... DO IT
cazrolime
OKAY *stabby*
THANKS FOR THE PERMISSION
ultramarine
*FREEZES POKYSTICK* NOW YOU'RE THE FUCKUP! YOU CAN'T EVEN KILL ME AND I'M RIGHT HERE.
cazrolime
WELL FUCK, YOU APPARENTLY HAVE THE MAGIC POWER OF UNFREEZING TIME
HOW AM I MEANT TO COMPETE AGAINST THAT PLUS YOUR EPIC TWINKITUDE
ultramarine
I DO. I STORE IT IN MY PANTS.
cazrolime
:|
...
That doesn't even make sense.
ultramarine
You, on the other hand, have the magic power of incredible optimism. I'd like to see how that works.
(I store all my powers in my pants. Or at least that's what I told Peter to get him to... wait, where was I?)
cazrolime
(Fandom bicycle. No wonder you're a Petrelli.)
(Oh wait, you didn't know that yet, did you? Sorry. Time traveller.)
ultramarine
(I... what? What?)
(WHAT?)
cazrolime
(I didn't say anything!)
ultramarine
(...)
(I'm a Petrelli.... I'M THE HERO.)
cazrolime
(Pfft, you'll get used to it. Everyone is related to everyone else. I'm my own great-great-etc-granddaddy. Adam is the father.)
(...NO, YOU'RE-- OH I GIVE UP)
ultramarine
(I thought you looked a little... *makes iffy handgesture*)
(YOU'D BETTER GIVE UP, BITCH.)
(NOW GET OUT OF HERE. I NEED TO SAVE THE WORLD.)
cazrolime
HAVE FUN DESECRATING YOUR DEAD MOTHER'S CORPSE *FLEES*
ultramarine
Hmm, wonder what he meant by that...
(now what I can paint with around here? water? not thick enough.)
(OH!)
Sorry Mom - if that is your real name.
Oh, I figured out why the new season is so cracky.
cazrolime
*still deadfacing*
ultramarine
The writers did the same thing we did during the strike - read fanfic on the internets.
cazrolime
xDD
IT'S TRUE
ultramarine
*makes with the white eyes*
IT IS.
THANKS FOR THE BLOOD MOM. BRB, SAVING THE WORLD.
ETA: oh oh oh and I made lulzy icons! Of Superdickery.com and ![[info]](https://www.scribbld.com/img/userinfo.gif) scans_daily! :D
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