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February 10th, 2008
04:26 pm - we'll watch the fire as it slowly burns away.
i literally spent days putting off my stupid english essay.
and i finished it in half an hour.
today my mom asked when monica's graduation party is, so that i don't miss it because of our vacation.
but we're not leaving until the middle of july, so i won't miss it.
but i will miss two weekends of potential grad parties.
i've been home by myself all afternoon and i've been thinking about how this is probably the last summer i'm gonna be able to hang out with all my senior friends, and i'm gonna miss them like crazy next year. and i'm missing 2 whole weeks of it for this family vacation. i'm not mad about the trip or anything, it's just that two weeks is gonna cut into a lot of time i could spend with my friends. and it's not like it would be better to go next year either, since that will be my senior year. then i was thinking about summer retreat. and ohmygosh if we leave in mid july and are gonna be gone for two weeks, i absolutely cannot miss summer retreat. that's the first weekend of august. GAH.
then i was thinking about crossroads, and how it's not the same as last year. me and monica talked about that last night. i just don't understand why it's not that same.
and i already know what song is gonna define this summer. last summer by lostprophets. i'll probably cry when i listen to it.
it's only february, but it feels like it could be almost june. i'm getting mail from colleges, i just signed up for my AP exams, and i'm taking driver's ed. and i don't want this year to end. it's too scary to think of myself as a senior and going off to college. because i have no idea what i want to do. i know what i'm interested in, but that's about it. and the thought of owning a car and driving is exciting, but terrifying.
and i'm giving blood on friday. which scares me too, but in a different way. i'm nervous that i'm gonna pass out or something when it's over. i keep telling myself that nothing's gonna happen because nothing happened when i had blood taken for tests, but that was over three years ago.
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