"I'm like my own screensaver!" -- Margaret Cho, responding to Craig Ferguson's comments about her tattoos, on the CBS television program, The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson" (episode aired in the wee hours of 2008-10-04, presumably taped 2008-10-03)
Ow. Really, ow.
Made it to doctor Wednesday for appt. Why do I always feel so crappy after going to the doctor? Medicated for rehearsal that night, but was going to be about an hour late, and got text message saying attendance was thin and to stay home if I wasn't already on the road -- which is probably a good thing, as Thursday hurt a lot anyhow. Yesterday dragged myself to pharmacy for the drug they were out of on Wednesday, but most of the day my upper arms hurt miserably despite having taken my regular pain meds ... which my doctor has decided I should now only take half as much of (okay, I'll see how that works out), and today has been a complete wreck of a day except for getting a wee bit of coding done and some research. Just woke from a nap, feeling somewhat better than when I crashed, probably in the "close enough to feeling well enough to go out that I could get the rest of the way with enough meds" range, but if I'm being so fragile that wee errands are knocking me out for the next day, I think I'm going to stay in and try to figure out how to save up enough spoons to make going to a party feasible some other weekend.
God damn, how my body hurts, regardless of what position I'm in. I'm $%^*ing tired of this. Tired of the physical pain, tired of having my activities limited by it. I keep telling myself this is just one of those bad spells that happen sometimes with the fibromyalgia, and it'll pass and I'll be back to just being annoyed by the pain and having to take care not to over-do, rather than feeling like I can't afford to 'do' at all. But this one seems like it's been going on an awfully long time.
Sorry for the downer of an entry, but dammit, I'm frustrated. And ouchy. And a little scared by how relentless this flare has been. And a little hungry, but at least that last bit is something I can go down to the kitchen and fix.
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